* Posts by Prst. V.Jeltz

2054 posts • joined 17 Sep 2015

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Stuck in a Loop

yeah, but the BOFH was present in this one , and every other .

Do not adjust your set: Hats off to Apple, you struggle to shift iPhones 'cos you're oddly ethical

Prst. V.Jeltz
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well the best phone i've ever had is my current one - an iPhone 5. I've had it for at least 2 years , battery lasts 48hrs. Given to me for free , i declare myself the winner of the $$$ / functionality ratio contest

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: But...

"I understand Tumblrs noble ambitions"

I dont , even after just now having read their wikipedia page.

"short form blogging" apparently

whats that? Whats it for? who uses it?

I guess im too old

Wanna save yourself against NotPetya? Try this one little Windows tweak

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Like a US drug commercial...

sounds like common sense when you put it like that

Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

Prst. V.Jeltz
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It's not much of an idea when thought through.

true its over thought technical solution. What proportion of litter are mcdonalds responsible for? youd have to tag all packing and everything in the packaging!

Better to make it more socially outrageous than it is now - like the sign in the article.

Space policy boffin: Blighty can't just ctrl-C, ctrl-V plans for Galileo into its Brexit satellite

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: ctrl-C, ctrl-V

Farmers use it here to fertilize their crops which is why we only end up with one set of tramlines through fields rather than half the crop chewed up by Jethro driving erratically whilst pissed up on cider.

farmers use ecrypted military gps? no wait , they use the free one - same as all the other examples given above. We dont need this new thing

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Who needs GPS?

no , seriously , why *do* we need this?

For the military? what do they need 1cm accuracy for over 30 ft accuracy?

Why do the military always get better stuff than the rest of us?

I could use 1cm accuracy for my drone delivery business.

Dont the US already give us military spec GPS? even though I'm sure we can effectively bomb far away people on garmin gps accuracy

Sysadmin’s plan to manage system config changes backfires spectacularly

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Automation does have its place

We had one sysadmin (who is no longer with us) who tended not to like automating stuff too much

obviously in the wrong career then, if not a dangerous liability.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: I was that luser

i too thought of wifi switches reading M E H 's story , and having to explain to a user over the phone where it is, after googling the model myself to see if it even has one

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Foodie Friday

Turns out the volume dial when pushed in is a mute

Thats the stupidest fucking idea i've ever heard!

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: I recently had to deal with the cops (and live in the US)

and performed sobriety checks, which I passed easily.

Why do american cops still persist with this stoneage method? especially when they have a breathalyzer??

Its no wander they messed up the meth test , they still havent mastered checking for alcohol!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Pretextual traffic stops

not if you want your vehicle back...

Boeing 737 pilots battled confused safety system that plunged aircraft to their deaths – black box

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Hey software, get the fuck out of the way! Can it?

What does "Switch to Manual!!" actually mean?

Is it possible for software to "Get the fuck out the way?"

It isnt on my car - a 28 year old sports car - it still has a little computer running software deciding how much fuel to put in and which / when spark plug to fire , and when it fucks up , as it has a few times locomotion ceases.

My cay at least has a throttle cable - most dont these days , and neither do these planes.

Azure MFA falls over, Windows 10 struggles with Intel drivers, and Microsoft gives us... more Sticky Notes?

Prst. V.Jeltz
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screw your sticky notes , fix my calc.exe!

It opens up then immediately closes it for some reason :(

Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Spoilers in Tech Docs!

do you click the doorbell or do you press it?

I usually ring it :p

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: the Netherlands ... an early adopter of "Survival of the First in Line".

Sounds like you encountered a version of the "Barber Shop" queuing system

Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Do people honestly believe they're appointed to their respective positions because they have knowledge in that field?

I know for a fact they arnt, they have a special procedure to make sure a minister knows nothing of the job he is in, cant be blamed for anything and can be diverted out of the public glare if neccassary.

Its called "Cabinet Reshuffle"

What the #!/%* is that rogue Raspberry Pi doing plugged into my company's server room, sysadmin despairs

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Holmes

Re: Raspberry Pi

I am wearing a deerstalker and smoking a pipe by the way!

for gods sake man we have an icon for that!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Legality

I guess so , but , yuo know , it sounds like hard work.

Sound like 30 minute moped ride could be a compromise :)

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Who gives their brooms names?

Right , i'm gonna call my hammer Mike then, or maybe MC.

Talk in Trump's tweets tells whether tale is true: Code can mostly spot Prez lies from wording

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Interesting study, bad subject

Doug , do you think wind and solar can ever replicate the sheer megaJoules that 100 million barrels of crude per day produces?

and how would you store it?

Prst. V.Jeltz
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exporting gas

I dont know why any country would export fossil fuel.

Its shortsighted . And by shortsighted I mean not looking 100 years ahead .

Alexa, cough up those always-on Echo audio recordings, says double-murder trial judge

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Joke

Re: People with these web enabled assistants....

I would never buy a phone that i can't remove the battery from

just put it under your tinfoil hat , then it cant report back .....

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: What could be better....

"Me neither, but also mainly not all of us have disposable income enough for such mostly useless frivolities."

I have , surprisingly ,given the state of my career , but whats the effing point?

I dont dim the lights or add a jar of coffee to my shopping list nearly enough to enroll the help of a robot with the comprehension ablilities of Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Alert

Re: "captured audio of the killings, and subsequent removal of the bodies"

Alexa , Help ! help! I'm being abused!

Alexa, Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

'He must be stopped': Missouri candidate's children tell voters he's basically an asshat

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: You can't save all of 'em ...

Do you think its a publicity stunt?

A way to mobilise other asshats to vote for the guy?

what you might call "The Trump Effect"

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: This sort of "it's a bomb" madness isn't new

The quad was cleared, the package placed in the center.

gotta admire 70s chilled out groovy bomb disposal practices

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Escalation

Remember: Home taping kills music

Probably explains why we don't have music today

My god you're right. We killed music. Now the only music we get is produced by those TV appeals aired on a Saturday night where they use phone in donations to bully halfwits into singing for our amusement.

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Crimes against music

"1973, and enjoyed strong commercial success into the mid-'80s with their brand of skin-crawlingly nasal arena rock. "

I'll take that anyday over the "disco" epidemic that spanned roughly the same period.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: I feel the need...

"The worst case is coming across something you know you will soon need. You move it to a "safe" place. Then afterwards you find you can only remember where it was originally - and the "safe" place eludes you."

I always think "where would i expect to find this later on" , and have to put it in that spot, even if thats not where i want to keep it!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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isnt it obvious?

I assume he was going to build a small plane fuselage and fly it out there Colditz style!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: True story...

well , if that bloke in Melbourne really had his shit together he'd get them to pay him to take the stuff away. The recycling law is on his side with that -what else they gonna do?

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Power adaptors are always useful

oh yes , i dont hoard much but always keep the power adapters!

Top tip ( that u techies probly already know)

If the gizmo says 12v / 1A , and your psu says 12v / 5A - it wont blow it up

The psu amp rate just has to be >= the gizmo's

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Hmmm. Maybe it is time time to..

I must get round to ditching all of the <1GB drives sometime

Newsflash!

its not just the 1gb...

its all the IDE ones ...

and most of the Satas too.

if you've got a lot of 160gb sata discs lying around you cant pile them all together to make a decent storage area - there arnt enough sata ports/controllers .

On this logic I declare any Hard disc smaller than 1tb redundant.

Prst. V.Jeltz
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re It's part of me. It stays.

Look forward to seeing you on the "hoarders" tv programme ....

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Its not All or nothing!

Its a balancing act.

I'm on the lean side , due to lack of space . 2 boxes of cables (scarts and other older ones have been chucked) 1 box vinyl . one shed containing a dismantled car that is the same model as the one i drive .

1 box misc pci cards etc

You have to weigh up the odds of someone wanting to pay you money to show up with a parallel floppy drive that only works in xp against the cubic inches it takes up.

We all wish we had a magic shed like the Tardis... but most dont.

Software ans files on the other hand.... hoard as much as you want! Hard drive storage is massive and so cheap you can keep anything! (within reason)(a 100 disc blu ray collection is not "within reason" - keep that on tye discs it came on)

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Iomega zip that connects via the parallel port.

definately

I found a security hole in Steam that gave me every game's license keys and all I got was this... oh nice: $20,000

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies

While this bounty program is in place I would be worried that any internal staff of questionable morals coming across a bug would, rather than fixing said bug would look to strike a deal with an external pen tester to share a bounty.

maybe the bounty comes from whichever programming team is reponsible's wages!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Tsk tsk tsk

"those who have lots of money and legal clout "

depends , sometimes its weapons and manpower

Bloke jailed for trying to blow up UK crypto-cash biz after it failed to reset his account password

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Trollface

Typical Crypto currency customer .....

Thats why they gone as far as actually suggesting other customers dont send bombs on their site.

Premiere Pro bug ate my videos! Bloke sues Adobe after greedy 'clean cache' wipes files

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: What an idiot

"it's fairly trivial with the right tool."

and whats that? names please

Web Foundation launches internet hippie manifesto: 'We've lost control of our data, it is being used against us'

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Or how about.....

dammit i was about to do the blackjack & hookers joke :(

screw you guys....

I'm gonna make my own joke....

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Trollface

so whats the problem?

I for one am glad the inter webs make money from my data. I've got loads of it , and i can make more with little to no effort.

Imagine if they wanted my cash instead!

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Paris Hilton

Re: We already have the solution

I'm sorry I lost you at "self hosting" what is that and how does it help?

GCSE computer science should be exam only, says Ofqual

Prst. V.Jeltz
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And still the pass rate is below 70%, with the grade 4 pass mark at 21% in Maths with one exam board

just wow

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Oh, please...

@Lee D

I'm hearing a lot of "cant" "wont work" etc etc, but i didnt see any suggestions

Also you call all stages of education "just to prove you can learn"

Why do we have further and higher ed then? surely you can work out if a kid can learn at GCSE stage, or earlier!

DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Headmaster

Re: My boss was demonstrating the instrusion sensors on our building

I think he really meant 'brought' as in 'sub-contracted them to do the actual job'

In that case it was still bad English so the icon stands :)

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: Delayed action alarm

I authored an error message in a system for retrieving info from remoter PCs that went:

"Cannot proceed because the machine we have connected to is not XXXXXXXX , its YYYYYYYY , this is because of a DNS error AGAIN!!!, please get zzzzzz to fix it".

and that was rev2 , with the swearing taken out.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Re: I'll back a winner

A regular on the Big Bang Theory.

I saw one the other day when Sheldon was on the phone complaining to Hawking that earlier at dinner all the conversation hadnt been about the smartest person in the conversation - him.

Hawking said "see the irony here?"

Prst. V.Jeltz
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Paris Hilton

Re: astrology????

@define Infinity

It would take me quite a while to unpick that paragraph , even if I had some idea what the hell you're talking about in the first place, as it stands i dont. I've checked the comments above for people dissing Newton , and been back to read the Newton part of the article (too much time on my hands) and I still dont know what prompted your outburst.

maybe its just me. can anyone elaborate?

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