* Posts by herman

1032 posts • joined 31 Jul 2007


The bigger they are, the harder they fall: Peak smartphone hits Apple, Samsung the worst

herman Silver badge


I live in the desert and the only phones I found that can work here, not overheat and shut down, is Apple. So that is what I use.

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

herman Silver badge

Oh, come-on. What is so hard about night time use?

Just install the sun dial under a street lamp.

What did turbonerds do before the internet? 41 years ago, a load of BBS

herman Silver badge
IT Angle

300 Baud - much faster than Baudot RTTY

How many of you kids had the pleasure of trying to edit a document over a blazingly fast 300 baud modem?

herman Silver badge

Facebook BBS

From Fidonet to Facebook, it is all BBS to me.

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

herman Silver badge

Old high tech...

Ironwood was commonly used as shaft bearings for pretty much all wagons and rolling stock since the wheel was invented till the mid 20th century. The wheel bearing grease, was usually made of honey and fat/oil and later sugar and petroleum.

Use an 8-char Windows NTLM password? Don't. Every single one can be cracked in under 2.5hrs

herman Silver badge

Re: Passwords

"@#$&" is only a 4 character password. You should know better.

Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

herman Silver badge

Re: Nor a good solution

I'm not a criminal either and I actually bought two new cars with cash. Amazing, isn't it?

Crypto crash leads to inventory pile-up at Nvidia, sales slaughtered

herman Silver badge

Cloud??? Data centre servers do not use video screens. I guess someone at Amazon finally clued in or something.

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that

herman Silver badge

Oh Canada...

In Canada, the standard way to handle an issue with Telus or Shaw, is to call the help desk and immediately swear blue murder at the poor sod who answers the phone. The call then gets promoted to a supervisor right away - then apologise to the Sup for swearing at the poor first line numpty and they are always super polite and get the problem fixed immediately.

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

herman Silver badge

We had a vendor who assured us that the SW of a rather important government system did not have an expiry date lock. However, one fine day, it all stopped working. With the new copy, we got another assurance that there is no expiry date lock. Having learned a lesson, we used a GPS constellation simulator to crank the clock forward until the system locked again. We took a screen shot and sent it to the vendor...

Apple hands keys for retail to HR boss amid flagging iPhone sales

herman Silver badge

NObody wanted the job!

HR was unable to find anyone. Apple goods are impossible to sell? Not a ringing endorsement at all.

Senior slippery sex stimulator sales exec sacked for shafting .org-asmic cyber-space place, a tribunal hears

herman Silver badge

Re: Linkedin says....

That was copied and pasted straight off resumebuzzword.com

Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

herman Silver badge

Re: American-Style Smart Fridge Freezer

For $4000, everybody is smarting, except the store, they are laughing all the way to the bank.

herman Silver badge

Re: 4k for a fridge?

Great, so now we have Smart Ass Fridges.

European Commission orders mass recall of creepy, leaky child-tracking smartwatch

herman Silver badge

The watch does exactly what it was designed to do. So the guy who wrote the specification is to blame, not the guy who made it.

Hi, Jack'd: A little PSA for anyone using this dating-hook-up app... Anyone can slurp your private, public snaps

herman Silver badge


This sounds like the new goatse.

Windows Defender update: So secure, it wouldn't let Secure-Boot Windows PCs, er, boot

herman Silver badge

Re: Again...

Bill Gates was the CEO and the head of QA. Since Billy Bob left, MS outsourced QA to the end users.

Jammy dodgers: Boffin warns of auto autos congesting cities to avoid parking fees

herman Silver badge

Re: I said that!

Err... 'soluble' - I hope not.

Terribly Sorry Bank reports 165% drop in profits to a pre-tax loss of £105.4m

herman Silver badge

Well, since 80,000 customers left, I would expect the system to be a damn sight faster.

Boffins debunk study claiming certain languages (cough, C, PHP, JS...) lead to more buggy code than others

herman Silver badge

Re: Reminds me of...

In my experience, the kind of problems that can actually be coded in a functional language are so simple, that you don't need a functional language to code it.

I have never seen a useful project done with a functional language. Every place I know that tried a functional language, eventually gave up, fired all the culprits who propounded the damn thing and started over in C.

herman Silver badge

Re: But "bugs fixed" doesn't equal "bugs in code" and may not even be proportional

Ayup, and not to left MS off the hook: A Java or .Net program cannot fix a bug in the JIT compiler or a bug in the garbage collector. Those bugs will never be fixed and will not show in these kind of bug fix studies.

Apple: Good news, everyone – sales are less bad than we thought. Not amazing but not bad. $84bn is $84bn, tho

herman Silver badge

Hmm, I use an Apple phone because it works and keeps working. I had several phones over the years past and only ONE Apple iPhone, which I've been using since time immemorial. It is expensive, but it is good quality and it works.

You're an admin! You're an admin! You're all admins, thanks to this Microsoft Exchange zero-day and exploit

herman Silver badge

Re: Possible quick fix

OpenBSD would be better and don't call me Shirley. Now get off my lawn also.

Open sourcerers drop sick Fedora Remix to get Windows Subsystem for Linux pumping

herman Silver badge

Ayup, MS copied Cygwin.

herman Silver badge

Well, running a system with a good scheduler on top of a system with a bad scheduler is not terribly bright. Most engineers would want to do it the other way around. Therefore, Windows on Linux makes rather more sense than Linux on Windows.

Core blimey... When is an AMD CPU core not a CPU core? It's now up to a jury of 12 to decide

herman Silver badge

Re: The proof

"wtf have they waited 8 friggin years" - That just shows you how slow these processors are.

Ever feel like all your prayers go unheard? The Catholic Church has an app for that

herman Silver badge

Godly feedback loop

An oldie:

Can god make a stone so heavy, that he cannot lift it?

herman Silver badge


Preacher Jack converted me to the Boogie Woogie:



Halleluja indeed.

He makes ZZ Top look like a couple of teenagers.

En garde! 'Cyber-war has begun' – and France will hack first, its defence sec declares

herman Silver badge

There are good mathematicians in France. Whether they boast about it or not, is quite immaterial. Most cryptologists prefer to keep quiet because they don't like questions and don't want to accidentally get on the wrong side of an official secrets act. However, the security of a system lies with the keys. You should be able to give your crypto systems to your enemies and still be sure that they won't be able to read your messages. This is why the algorithms of most crypto systems and their test vectors are published for review by anyone.

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...

herman Silver badge

Re: Well that was an invisible problem

Oh yeah, in the 1990s I ran 10base 2 through the CATV cabling in my home. It worked nicely.

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

herman Silver badge

Re: Just plain embarrassing

Silicon Graphics had pretty good and popular high end work stations as well. These were the Lisa and Mac competitors.

Microsoft partner portal 'exposes 'every' support request filed worldwide' today

herman Silver badge

Re: Good stuff

A million here, a million there, pretty soon, you have a small number of users.

It WASN'T the update, says Microsoft: Windows 7 suffers identity crisis as users hit by activation errors

herman Silver badge

Re: Windows is Close to Unusable

That same underspecced machine will boot a better OS in a few seconds.

herman Silver badge

Re: Windows is Close to Unusable

51 minutes - So, what will it take for you to finally give up with MS and get a better computer system? I would really like to know.

herman Silver badge

On my web site, Windows is lately at 35% and Mac at 18%. Years ago it was 90% Windows. Whenever I go to a coffee shop, it is a crowd of Macs and one or two shameful Windows users hiding in a corner.

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

herman Silver badge


Well, I’d rather heave a 107 kg boat onto a mini, than onto a minivan. My 25 kg canoe is difficult enough already.

Microsoft vows to destroy Office, er, offices: Campus to be demolished and rebuilt

herman Silver badge

Abort, Retry or Fail?

Microsoft Foundation Classes.

OK, OK, I'll get my coat.

Linux reaches the big five (point) oh

herman Silver badge

I guess the OP concentrates so hard, that he sticks his tongue out while counting. That extra little bit will enable a lot more than a 1024 count.

Marriott: Good news. Hackers only took 383 million booking records ... and 5.3m unencrypted passport numbers

herman Silver badge

Deliberate mix-ups help

The problem is that a passport copy is a complete ID theft kit - it even includes your signature.

I had to change my bank card once due to a Dubai hotel. Since then, I give hotels a mix of data: Canadian Amex card and UAE ID for example. This mix doesn't enable an easy identity theft and fraud since the information doesn't match exactly.

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

herman Silver badge

Re: xfer

That dedup utility is called 'hardlink'

Fake 'U's! Phishing creeps use homebrew fonts as message ciphers to evade filters

herman Silver badge

Re: People stil falling for the fake email.

With a stethoscope and white coat you can be truly invincible.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

herman Silver badge

Re: RE: And how do you KEEP it that way? ...

If he 'fell' off on the port side: "Man overboard, starboard side!!!".

A few reasons why cops haven't immediately shot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

herman Silver badge

Fly over it with a helicopter

If the police helicopter pilot can see it, then he only need to fly over it to send it tumbling to the ground due to the extreme turbulence.

Serverless is awesome (if you overlook inflated costs, dislike distributed computing, love vendor lock-in), say boffins

herman Silver badge

It all sounds like the age of the dinosaurs (mainframes) has been replaced with a new age of bigger dinosaurs. What will come next, the age of Personal Computing? Maybe I should go and build a small desktop machine and call it a PC.

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

herman Silver badge

Nobody knows how big Retroshare http://retroshare.net/ is, but I guess it is infinitesimally small compared to Farcebook - pity.

On the first day of Christmas, Microsoft gave to me... an emergency out-of-band security patch for IE

herman Silver badge

If this goes on, I'll have to use Lynx on OpenBSD to browse the web.

Windows 10 can carry on slurping even when you're sure you yelled STOP!

herman Silver badge

Hmm, if you are really worried about security and privacy, then there really is only one option: OpenBSD.

Otherwise, you are not really serious about it and should just carry on playing your online games and chatting on facebook as before.

Phew, galactic accident helps boffins explain dark matter riddle

herman Silver badge

Now we know where the Grues are

It is pitch black. You are in danger of being eaten by a... Chomp!

25% of NHS trusts have zilch, zip, zero staff who are versed in security

herman Silver badge

Re: Pay?

Systems should not be vulnerable to USB attacks. Blocking the use of USB media is a case of blaming the user for your own failures. Fix the system so that USB media works and is safe to use.

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

herman Silver badge

Re: The photo

This asshole is really the Bastard Tenant From Hell.


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