* Posts by herman

567 posts • joined 31 Jul 2007

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iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

herman
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Obviously it was the rounded corners that done them in...

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UK.gov throws hissy fit after Twitter chokes off snoop firm's access

herman
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Re: Not to put too fine a point on it...

Only the prime minister should be allowed to use prime numbers. Downing street 10 is a prime example of such a prime number and all British subjects should immediately cease to use the number 10.

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FTP becoming Forgotten Transfer Protocol as Debian turns it off

herman
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Windows

Anonymous FTP is one of the few protocols that Windows supports natively. For any small business, it is much easier to set up a FTP server than a SMB/CIFS server, since it requires zero maintenance and anyone can access their files from the Windows file explorer.

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Will the MOAB (Mother Of all AdBlockers) finally kill advertising?

herman
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Re: People DO hate adverts

These days, a little bit of white flour in the envelope will be even more effective than glitter.

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IBM. Sigh. Revenues. Sigh. Down. Sigh. For the 20th quarter in a row

herman
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Brilliant suggestion - worthy of a Veep of R&D position in Indian Busyness Machines. Unfortunately they don't do R&D any more and is really just another Bangalore based computer service joint.

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Mark Shuttleworth says some free software folk are 'deeply anti-social' and 'love to hate'

herman
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Well, there are billions of useless assholes on the planet. It is much easier to complain than to do something useful and those idiots deserve to be ignored.

So, if you happen to read this: Thanks Mark!!!

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Graffiti 'dying out' as kids dump spray cans for Instagram, Twitter etc

herman
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Idiots and asses write on walls and glasses.

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

herman
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I woz wonderin whether a twist of lemming would make the poor weasel go pop...

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herman
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"I literally cannot remember the last time I paid for anything in cash."

Due to card fraud, I do everything in cash. I even bought our cars cash and I never saw a happier car dealer than when I handed over the bank envelope full of notes. Maybe he thinks I'm a Mafia Don, but I get very good service every time...

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herman
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Re: Card - no

Err... Sorry, only pretty young lasses can pay by bonk - Dabsy gotta use a card or an app.

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Pong, anyone? How about Pong on a vintage oscilloscope?

herman
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Gaddammit... the only way to top that, would be by building a Pong game from thermionic valves.

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

herman
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Sounds like that is actually an IoS device - Internet of Shit.

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Cisco boxen hang after 213-and-a-half days

herman
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Well, it is better than 49 and a half days.

OK, I'll get my coat.

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Mediaeval Yorkshirefolk mutilated, burned t'dead to prevent reanimation

herman
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The absentee landlord didn't kick the peasants out, he outsourced the peasant positions to Ireland.

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Dormant Linux kernel vulnerability finally slayed

herman
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I would think that many admins have no idea what HDLC is/was, since it went out of fashion before they were born. This is a case where the system security was saved by obsolescence of hardware.

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WikiLeaks exposes CIA anti-forensics tool that makes Uncle Sam seem fluent in enemy tongues

herman
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Re: Only one?

Hmm, you mean like the antivirus companies who write new viruses when business is slow?

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Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

herman
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Hmm, just give the bot a good kick with your steel toed Doc Martin and watch it run screaming its head off at 172 dB back to where it came from.

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Alabama joins anti-web-smut crusade with mandatory opt-out filters

herman
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The $20 is much less than the cost of such a service, so it amounts to a selective sales tax on certain electronics.

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Dishwasher has directory traversal bug

herman
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Re: Bewildered. (That's grown-up speak for "wtf")

Well, I must be Olde Skool, since my microwave oven has a wind up timer, but I have never seen a dish washer with a wind-up timer. My guess is that Miele simply used a generic Linux controller and the ethernet port and web server is simply for programming and testing it on the production line and isn't actually intended for daily use.

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herman
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Re: Bewildered. (That's grown-up speak for "wtf")

So how is the electric butler of the electric monk supposed to wash his master's begging bowl without an internet connection to the dishwasher?

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herman
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Re: Can't find the IP Address of my pitchfork

Well, what did you expect? You didn't pay for the updates to your pitchfork, so now the internet access expired. That's why, you cheapskate...

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Folders return to Windows 10's Start Thing

herman
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Re: install Start10 which is available at small cost.

SME Server for one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SME_Server

If you cannot install that one, then you should have your geek card confiscated.

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herman
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Re: Can you imagine Windows 95 going at the speed of today's hardware?

"Nowadays my Windows machines run until patch forced reboots." which is still much less than 49 days. I had multiple *nix servers run for more than 4 years, without ever rebooting - they eventually had HW failures, so they literally never rebooted.

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herman
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Re: Clippy

Just for shitz and giggles I installed MS Bob in a VM some time ago. It was hilariously useless.

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herman
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Re: Unbelievable

It is actually a marketing trick. They are gradually making Windows so damn bad, that people will pay to get a better one.

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Three quarters of Oz science grads can't get science work

herman
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Well, it is nice to buy an ice cream cone from someone who can explain in detail what exactly the ice cream consists of, why it is textured the way it is and stays twirled up and melts slowly even on a hot day...

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Linux, not Microsoft, the real winner of Windows Server on ARM

herman
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Err... Linux and BSD has been running merrily on ARM since the last century. I don't know which cave the author was hiding in all this time.

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US military's latest toy set: Record-breaking laser death star, er, truck

herman
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The obvious solution is to cover your missiles/drones in optical fibre, to route the laser light around it.

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

herman
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Re: We only backup the shared drives

Clean backups, indeed.

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herman
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Re: New technical terms.

"Discombobulate" - what does the bra-size of a booth babe have to do with magnetic storage?

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America's Marine Corp steamy selfies scandal, a Senate probe – and El Reg to the rescue

herman
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Re: No doubt ...

Well, obviously... Pics or it didn't happen!

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SKYPE has the HOTS for my NAKED WIFE

herman
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Devil

Just loop the incoming video to the outgoing video and provide the perp with a handy mirror.

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Oops! 185,000-plus Wi-Fi cameras on the web with insecure admin panels

herman
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Devil

I think myfreecams is much easier to navigate than shodan...

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

herman
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Windows

I can understand that one can use Excel for marketing glossies. For organizing text into columns and keeping it aligned with a graph or two, it works much better than doing the same with MS Word. However, using Mac Numbers is much better. Using Mac Pages for this is hopeless, since graphics keep jumping around no matter how hard you try to lock them in place.

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Fraud detection system with 93% failure rate gets IT companies sued

herman
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If they just flipped a coin it would have been 50% accurate. To get it wrong 93% of the time takes real dedication.

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User rats out IT team for playing games at work, gets them all fired

herman
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So he was fired because you were slow with his sales data?

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I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

herman
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Re: This should be covered by a different clause in the contract

Your colleague may be employed as a boxer, with the purpose of punching fellow employees in the face to boost morale...

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UK recruitment biz Coal Intelligent Technology ceases trading

herman
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Clean Coal Technology

Coal cleaned out and came clean. Contractors left to clean up.

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Google bellows bug news after Microsoft sails past fix deadline

herman
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Fortunately, this is the Most Secure Windows Ever, since it was a Total Rewrite from scratch. However, to ensure backward compatibility they also rewrote all the old bugs from scratch.

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IT guy checks to see if PC is virus-free, with virus-ridden USB stick

herman
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Re: seriously??

Hmm, should have sold the infected disk on Ebay...

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Netherlands reverts to hand-counted votes to quell security fears

herman
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Joke

Foxed

Fox-IT of hen-house fame?

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Dear Microsoft – a sysadmin's wishlist

herman
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I honestly don't know what Windows is actually good for these days, or why people still use it.

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NHS reply-all meltdown swamped system with half a billion emails

herman
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The Open Group

Something that always bugged me, is that MS Exchange was written by The Open Group - the holder of the UNIX trade mark and more. Why did they botch it so badly - was it done on purpose?

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We don't want to alarm you, but PostScript makes your printer an attack vector

herman
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"Upper AND lower case!" Like the Blues Brothers: "Country AND Western".

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'Grey technology' should be the new black

herman
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A decade ago at General Dynamics, I worked with a middle aged software guy who used a 20 inch monitor to display type about 100 mm high, to read at a distance of about 100 mm. At the time, that was only possible with a Sparc Station.

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2017 is already fail: Let’s try a Chinese reboot

herman
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Well, look at the bright side: Now you know what to buy your wife for the aniversary - a brand new sports car.

I can't help you with the antsy phone call from your bank manager though.

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Stop replying! pleads NetApp customer stuck in reply-allpocalypse

herman
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It is also fun with Out of Office replies to Out of Office replies.

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Chevy Bolt electric car came alive, reversed into my workbench, says stunned bloke

herman
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I think it was Blond error. He says he was 40 miles away. His wife was home and she claims the car crashed itself. Riiiiiight...

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herman
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Re: Odd belief

On American cars, Brakes == Breaks

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IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

herman
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Re: Red scare!

"There's a commie behind every bush!" - Now why do you think that all bushy ladies are commies???

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