Posts by Joe User

Solution for Apple's "experts"

Just give each one a towel so they can wipe the brown stain off their noses before taking the stand....

Problem solved.

If the public were allowed in...

Hey Tony, what's the deal with that big guy in the chair, and the giant eggs in the basement?

(Cut scene to the basement, where the top of an egg peels open.)

Not much fun to be on the receiving end of the stick, is it?

"Military-grade"?

Does it mean that my e-mail messages are resistant to small-arms fire? That my attachments can step on a land mine and still limp on to their destination? That my SMTP server is equipped with reactive armor?

What a worthless description....

Heat makes animals shrink?

Really? Someone forgot to tell the Maasai about that....

Oh yes, that's the car for me!

When the "tank runs dry", you can't fill it up again; you have to buy a new tank. Whose brilliant f-ing idea was that? What a ridiculous, over-priced, piece of shite!

My apologies to any pieces of shite who were offended by this comparison.

Just wondering....

How many of those mini-meleons did they unknowingly step on during their visit to the island?

"the domains will be limited to members of accredited music industry associations"

All of them saying "Hurray for us!" and patting each other on the back.

What a bunch of tossers....

Apple's idea of a level playing field

Flatten our competitors so we may walk on them.

A simple solution

Just cover the carriage roofs with nails. Then you can pry off the freeloaders at the next stop.

Triple-profit Q2

A new definition for "price gouging".

An idea for the next rover

Install a small air compressor. The rover can top off the air tank while the sunlight is still bright (relatively speaking) and then dust off the panels later.

"The scammer then sent an email to me, threatening both ScamWarners and 419Eater. We were told to cease exposing their information and reporting their Amazon sites or we would both be eradicated from cyberspace."

Petulant little wanker, isn't he?

What's next? "If you don't stop exposing my scams, I'll drop to the ground, kick my feet, and hold my breath until I turn blue!"

Better look in the mirror

"Seems like Americans have been fatties for longer than we thought."

So, the U.K.'s claim-to-fame is the hypocritasaurus?

Obesity (most recent) by country

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/hea_obe-health-obesity

At #3 on the chart, you have no business calling the kettle "black".

Memo from the Department of Redundancy Department

"The dinosaur was a plant-eating smaller cousin of the Triceratops that weighed around two tons."

Triceratops was a plant eater, too (along with all the other ceratopsian dinosaurs).

Steve Ballmer called

Said "You have something brown on the end of your nose."

Line of attack

This should remove the PITA rootkit:

1. Run Kaspersky's TDSSKiller to removed the infected files from your PC.

2. Boot the PC using a GParted Live CD, delete the rootkit's partition, and set the Windows partition to active.

3. Let the PC boot normally.

If Windows complains about booting, break out your installation disc. Boot from it and then perform the steps for your OS:

Win XP

- Select the "Recovery console".

- Run "fixmbr" (fix master boot record).

- Run "fixboot".

- Reboot.

Win 7

- Select "Repair your computer".

- Select "Command prompt".

- Run "bootrec /fixmbr".

- Run "bootrec /fixboot".

- Reboot.

Products are harmless to people

But I bet none of the company executives live downwind of the factories....

Bill of Rights?

Never heard of 'em....

Where is the "Running rough-shod over your rights" icon?

"man to man, head to head"

Good thing it isn't "ego to ego". Larry's head is big enough to fill a stadium.

New item for field kit?

One bag of corks, stand-issue.

Focus on other products

Now maybe HP can spend some time figuring out how to make a decent, reliable laser printer again....

How much for the 1.6TB baby? We're not saying

Because the price would like trigger instantaneous cardiac arrest in many of El Reg's readers.

"snobby, arrogant, IGNORANT little fucking children"

Who still managed to hack your web site.

Dell: price comes before quality

My company has had plenty of problems with bad capacitors in Dell OptiPlex machines. The GX270's are particularly afflicted; both motherboards and power supplies have cracked/leaking caps. The GX620's and 745's are occasionally afflicted, too. I've sent several motherboards to BadCaps.net (in the U.S.) for recapping; they do good work, and the repaired boards have been running without any problems.

Dell needs to get a clue. I would gladly pay an extra $10-15 per OptiPlex for motherboards with higher-grade caps (preferably solid caps).

Re: It's probably a stupid question...

> ...but why can't we all just go vegetarian?

Because then human methane output would skyrocket.

Don't drink the hand sanitizer

Just put a shot of ipecac in the bottle. They might swallow the contents, but it won't stay down for long.

The medical benefit of jubs on display

It is a documented fact that an occasional flash of jubs has been shown to stimulate the heart rate and bloodflow in many male (and some female) patients.