* Posts by Joe User

500 posts • joined 30 Jul 2007

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Apache OpenOffice: Not dead yet, you'll just have to wait until mid-May for mystery security fixes

Joe User

Updates for OpenOffice

Amounts to one last transfusion because the body is still warm....

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Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

Joe User
Mushroom

Re: Seen that one too

I love the smell of napalm burned roach in the morning. It smells like . . . victory!

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Stop asking people for their passwords, rights warriors yell at US Homeland Security

Joe User
Mushroom

Request for login credentials

The proper response to that is "Piss off".

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Joe User

We desperately need a Trump icon.

My vote is for a picture of a horse's arse.

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Intel loses its Lustre – Chipzilla bins own-brand HPC file system

Joe User
Holmes

Intel bailing on programs

Could Intel be feeling a wee bit nervous about the AMD Ryzen launch? Perhaps Intel is paring expenses due to the looming prospect of price cuts on its processors. Enquiring minds want to know....

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New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners

Joe User
Trollface

To all vegetarians/vegans/environmentalists

If you object to the materials used to create your £20 notes, I will gladly take them off your hands at no charge!

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Cisco reports bug disclosed in WikiLeaks' Vault 7 CIA dump

Joe User
Big Brother

Show of hands

How many people think this is a newly discovered flaw that Cisco found in the Vault7 documents?

Now, how many people think this is a known exploit that Cisco only went public with because it was exposed in the Vault7 documents?

Pardon me while I get my tinfoil hat....

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Will AI lead to the rise of the love machines?

Joe User
Coat

Gives a new meaning to the phrase "machine screw"....

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Man jailed for 3 days after Texas cops confuse cat litter for meth

Joe User

ukgnome: Takes the piss doesn't it

And clumps nicely, too!

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Routine jobs vanishing and it's all technology's fault? Hold it there, sport

Joe User

Re: Production economy, no consumers

Brian Miller: "After all, how does anyone think the Deathstar was built? Union labor? Nope, it was all machines."

Are you so sure about that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5lDKjA_7I0

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Firmware freakout sends Epson Wi-Fi printers into reboot loop

Joe User

IoMT

Internet of Malfunctioning Things

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Joe User

You buy a printer to print, when you buy it, it works and prints as expected. Why would you need a firmware update?

Because all modern printers contains a processor of some sort, plus built-in programming (more so if they're multi-function devices). Firmware updates are the only way to fix bugs and/or add new features.

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HMS Queen Lizzie to carry American jets and sail in support of US foreign policy

Joe User

Re: And if the F35B's aren't ready by then

Tell the Marines to bring their F/A-18 Hornets, too. The carrier will be much better protected with those planes on-board versus the F-35B.

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Veeam kicks Symantec's ass over unpatentable patents

Joe User

Re: Swish! Nothin' but net!

Doctor Syntax: And USPTO paying Symantec's costs. They granted the patents in the first place.

Uh, no. The USPTO is funded by taxpayer dollars. Let Symantec eat the cost of this fiasco. I see no reason why I should subsidize corporate stupidity.

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Office Depot halts PC Health Checks amid bogus infection claims

Joe User
Holmes

Re: Exploit US citizens for maximum profit

Idiots come in all shapes, sizes, colors - and nationalities.

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Joe User

FTC investigation

Office Depot's behavior is called "fraud". A criminal investigation is in order.

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Joe User

Re: You're delusional

@SeymourHolz:

"The large-caliber guns were designed to fire two different conventional 16-inch (406 mm) shells: the armor-piercing Mk. 8 round for anti-ship and anti-structure work, and the Mk. 13 high-explosive round designed for use against unarmored targets and shore bombardment."

"The Iowas carried ten twin enclosed base ring mounts supporting 5 in/38 caliber Mark 28 Mod 0 guns. [snip] The 5 in/38 cannon functioned as a dual purpose gun; that is, it was able to fire at both surface and air targets with a reasonable degree of success."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iowa-class_battleship#Armament

Not designed for anti-ship use? Ha! That Type 45 destroyer would get squashed like a bug before it ever got within range.

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Joe User
Thumb Down

You're delusional

Emmeran: At 25 rounds per minute and a 30k range that 4.5in gun more than outguns anything prior to the Korean war, including the battleships.

Seriously? Let me dust off the USS Iowa and see how your pea shooter fairs against nine 16-inch (406mm) guns with a range of 23.4 nautical miles (40 kilometers)....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iowa-class_battleship#/media/File:Uss_iowa_bb-61_pr.jpg

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Hackers cook god-mode remote exploits against Edge, VMware in world-first

Joe User
Holmes

Re: A bit harsh

Do you honestly expect software vendors to schedule their security updates around hacking events? Not hardly. Don't schedule the hacking event right after Patch Tuesday, and you won't have this "problem".

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World-leading heart hospital 'very, very lucky' to dodge ransomware hit

Joe User

Give thanks where it's due

"We've got some fairly ancient application architecture so we've got some file-shares, and actually that's what happened to us – a crypto attack went through our file-shares and encrypted the data."

"Thank God for that full backup, then," she added.

Correction: Thank our IT staff for that full backup.

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Joe User

Re: OMFG

Easy access to everything allows them to get on with treating patients and every clinician loves their e-mail.

That same easy access allows malware to run rough-shod over their data.

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Brace yourself, Samsung: Activist investor Elliot's in an arm-twisting mood

Joe User

Re: I'm sure they will very politely tell him to

I was just wondering what Korean for Fuck Off was... maybe I need to wait for the reply

Google Translate produced 3 versions:

썩 꺼져!

방해하지 마라!

자지 갈까!

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Wait, wait – I got it this time, says FCC as it swings again at rip-off US TV cable boxes

Joe User

Re: loop the loop

Not so much "unworkable" as it is "unpopular" (with the cable companies).

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Joe User

Re: loop the loop

DougS: The FCC has called their bluff by throwing out an unworkable proposal of their own, which would require the cable companies to support ANY platform that has sold more than 5 million units in the last three (I think?) years,

And why is that an "unworkable proposal"? With a well-designed API on the cable companies' end, it shouldn't matter what device connects to them, as long as that device makes the proper API calls. It would be up to the device to handle the video stream that it receives and to format it properly for output.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update crashing under Avast antivirus update

Joe User
Trollface

Re: Real Users

What is needed in these discussions is less juvenile Windows bashing, and more useful advice on how to make average users' Windows machine safe and functional with little or no user intervention.

Remove the user from the equation.

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West country cops ponder appearance of 40 dead pigeons on A35

Joe User

Re: OCD Puma?

Caracal, a cat well-known for its ability to swat birds out of mid-air.

Also fits in well with the other African wildlife showing up in the U.K.

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Did Donald Trump really just ask Russia to hack the US govt? Yes, he did

Joe User
Thumb Up

Re: The folly of lesser evilism

http://www.revoltwear.net/shop/cthulhu-for-president/

Thank you for the URL. I just ordered one.

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Joe User
FAIL

Neither Trump nor Hillary are qualified to be President of the U.S. People say to "vote for the lesser of two evils", but in this election, it's nothing more than an exercise in splitting hairs.

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Joe User
Holmes

Redundant

"implausibly appalling" pretty much covers everything that comes out of Donald Trump's mouth....

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Hillary Clinton: My promises to America's tech industry

Joe User

Hillary is renowned for being somewhat of a policy wonk

Maybe when it comes to making policies, but when it comes to abiding by them, that's a different story....

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Spam King sent down for 30 months

Joe User

Re: So the U.S. is learning from the old Soviet Union.

Actually, I have the cure (a .357 hollow point).

You must be an American.

That "cure" was also used in the Soviet Union.

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Is Windows 10 ignoring sysadmins' network QoS settings?

Joe User

Re: Speaking of Windoze 10.

Run this registry file on the machine:

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKLM\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate]

"DisableOSUpgrade"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\GWX]

"DisableGWX"=dword:00000001

[HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\WindowsUpdate\OSUpgrade]

"ReservationsAllowed"=dword:00000000

Even with those updates installed, you won't get prompted for a Windows 10 upgrade (that is, until Microsoft decides to ignore these keys...).

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'Windows 10 nagware: You can't click X. Make a date OR ELSE'

Joe User

Re: It's GWX Control Panel or Linux

Or make a few registry edits:

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKLM\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate]

"DisableOSUpgrade"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\GWX]

"DisableGWX"=dword:00000001

[HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\WindowsUpdate\OSUpgrade]

"ReservationsAllowed"=dword:00000000

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'I thought my daughter clicked on ransomware – it was the damn Windows 10 installer'

Joe User

Re: Forgive me for not understanding how this happened

1Rafayal: Dont question, this is an MS hate article.

Why yes, this is an MS hate article. We, Microsoft's customers, hate being treated like doormats and having MS walk all over us.

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Obama London visit prompts drone no-fly zone

Joe User

One question

How are the authorities going to enforce the no-fly restrictions? Do they have a fleet of remote-control Spitfires with BB-guns mounted in their wings?

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Bill Gates can’t give it away... Still crazy rich after all these years

Joe User

Bill Gates can’t give it away...

Sure he can! Just give me a call, and I will gladly help him to lighten his wallet.

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SCO slapped in latest round of eternal 'Who owns UNIX?' lawsuit

Joe User

Re: WANTED - URGENT : Vampire hunter with gatling holy-water crossbow to end useless sucking

A bullet to the head is usually sufficient for a zombie.

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Lenovo's file-sharing app uses hardwired password '12345678' ... or no password at all

Joe User

Re: ShareIT?

More like "FuckwIT"....

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Microsoft: We’ve taken down the botnets. Europol: Would Sir like a kill switch, too?

Joe User

Re: Yes, a kill switch...

A thumb's down for gaining the right to say "No thank you, I don't want it"? Must be a Microsoft fanboi....

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Joe User

Re: Yes, a kill switch...

It's called "GWX Control Panel". Check it out:

http://ultimateoutsider.com/downloads/

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Star Wars: Episode VIII delayed by six months

Joe User
Trollface

Next installment delayed by 6 months

The Force is slow with this one....

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No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

Joe User
Thumb Up

Automated way to stop GWX

GWX Control Panel

http://ultimateoutsider.com/downloads/

I've used it on several Windows 7 machines, and it works great. Has options to block downloading the Windows 10 files and to block automatic upgrades. Also has a monitor mode to warn you if any of the settings are changed without your knowledge.

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Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

Joe User
Holmes

Re: Fan lasting 5 years +

David Pollard: A decade or so ago desktop fans used to be 5", now the trend has been to 3.5" or smaller, less efficient, faster running and generally more noisy.

You have that backwards. Years ago, desktop machines were equipped with 80mm chassis fans. Nowadays, they usually have 120mm, 140mm, or even 200mm fans.

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Good news! US broadband speeds are up. Bad news – they're still rubbish

Joe User

Re: Welcome to the Third World

jimbo60: "You call it CrapCast. I call it a decent deal. Comcast recently doubled my speed (again) for the same price, so now I get 150Mb advertised downlink speeds."

That's so you can slam into their data cap sooner, and then open your wallet wider....

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No, drone owners – all our base are belong to US, thunders military

Joe User

Re: "our best advice is: just don't be an idiot. "

c) We, in the States, have an over abundance of self-important idiots.

FTFY.

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There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

Joe User

Re: @Cpt Blue Bear

"Let me guess: you buy the cheapest?"

Talk to Dell and Lenovo. It's their respective OptiPlex and ThinkCentre machines that I have to clean up before use.

At least they don't employ some ass-hat like Phuzz who rips capacitors off circuit boards....

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Joe User

Re: Batteries?

@phuzz: You are the kind of asshole that I swear at when I have to fix a brand-new computer because it was assembled by a brain-dead monkey.

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Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Joe User

In other words, I'd rather eat the cow than eat like a cow....

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GOP senators push FCC to kill support for local broadband

Joe User
Megaphone

What a joke

The only "strides" that my private-sector broadband provider has made are to come up with any excuse to increase my rates while providing as little service as possible (I'm looking at YOU, Time Warner Cable).

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Kill Flash Now: 78 bugs patched in latest update

Joe User

Re: Are they still pushing Adobe Air though?

Adobe Air also uses a proprietary document format. Anyone know how to port these to pdf format, because I'd like to have access to those magazines again.

How to convert a AIR file to a PDF file

https://en.pdf24.org/air-2-pdf.html

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