* Posts by m0rt

862 posts • joined 11 Jul 2015


Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

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"Funny how suppliers don't like to risk offending customers!"

Unless the supplier is Lenovo....

Lawyers' secure email network goes down, firm says it'll take 2 weeks to restore

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Re: Genuine LOL.

It did look wrong to me but i couldn't work out why.


You got an upvote as a result so +1 for being grumpy, Steve.


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Re: Genuine LOL.

Going by a couple of recent BBC news articles which seem to consist SOLEY of tweets... I applaud your sticking to just two.

Microsoft partner portal 'exposes 'every' support request filed worldwide' today

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I suspect this was a genuine error - see the 'tips and corrections' button at the bottom of the article?

Oxford University reportedly turns off its Huawei money tap

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Re: Put up or Shut up

Is that even possible?

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

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"avoid unexpected showdowns."

I hate that.

Nothing worse when you are minding your own business and some gunslinger challenges you to a gunfight.

Seriously pisses me right off.

NHS England claims it will be all-digital within the decade

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Re: As with all things this could be great if done properly

I am having a hard time just dumping the problem on the older generation. I get that lonliness is a big problem and that in a lot of cases seeing the GP is a way of actually seeing someone that, at least, is their job to care about you.

But this:

"A simple £20 apointment charge would solve this. It would also reduce demand for GPs by 50%, resulting in mass layoffs, which is why the BMA is so keen on 'free a tthe point of use' healthcare i.e. make work."

Is so cynical that I want to know if this is really the case, or an opinion, probably shared I guess, of a disgruntled GP who is under a heavy workload.

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Re: As with all things this could be great if done properly

"What would work even better, is if we stopped the elderly using the GPs as some sort of social club. I've lost count of the number of times some old giffer has been making their next appointment on the way out form their last, while announcing to their cronies in the waiting area that they'll see them next week. A small charge for GP appointments could reduce the frequency of this sort of thing."

I was, literally, shocked when I read that.

You seriously think this is the main problem affecting GPs?

Happy new year, readers. Yes, we have threaded comments, an image-lite mode, and more...

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Re: holograraphic love dungeon layout

What OS version you on?

Bars 3.1 is worth upgrading to 3.11.

Google: I don't know why you say Allo, I say goodbye

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I am trying to work out something. If you are laughing from your enlightened state, then surely an enlightened mind would want to enlighten others? Otherwise it is just ego.

So what we have here is an egotist laughing at the apparent lack of knowledge of others. What a wonderful place you are in! We should all aspire to be like you. It warms my heart to think that there is true greatness in this world.

You should start a vlog. You would be popular on YT and would make a killing with all the ad revenue.

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

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You never see, in those future dystopia movies, that the real cause of societal breakdown was due to shite service companies.

Except for Douglas Adams, who hit the nail on the head with Sirius Cybernetics.

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Re: The wrong day

The day you overdose?

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits

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@alien8n Re: Not just O2

"expecting a mobile provider to maintain 100% uptime is like expecting politicians to never lie."

Poiticians never lie. They reframe your question and answer based on an entirely different paradigm.

Intel eggheads put bits in a spin to try to revive Moore's law

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"I fear that Moore's Law will effectively reach its EOL date at that point"

Conversely, I look forward to Moore's law being reached as then it will force a shift in other directions for processing. Who knows what will come out of it? I think it is exciting.

Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

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"Right, so you propose an end to privacy for burger munchers, and a national database that will in practical terms identify their eating habits, movements, all added to the existing CCTV surveillance, just to address the problem of littering?"


This is why I modded it to have a barcode that linked it back to the franchise. But the principle is about accountability.

We don't need car dealerships paying speeding fines because - guess what? Cars have an identifying mark known as a registration plate, linking them to the owner so therefore no need to fine dealerships.

This was a sensible discussion. Keep it such and keep the hyperbolic outrage down a little.


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That is, quite literally, brilliant.

Even a barcode that is tracable to the franchise and try to at least putting in a traceable path of accountability .

Have a small fine for every piece of litter linked to that franchise that encourages them to push back to customers to encourage more social behaviour.

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"But with the scourge of fly-tipping being what it is"

Not just about fly tipping. It is general litter which is a massive problem in the UK. I live on the edges of a very picturesque part of Wales. One particular cycle to Bala I remember being struck by the sheer amount of litter in the verges for, quite literally, miles.

Another episode, whilst motorcycling through Snowdonia, a complete cock throwing his empty sandwich box out of his white BMW in a known beauty spot.

And I guess we are fairly familiar with the pile of McDonalds litter that seems some people are too good to have sitting in their car until they go to a bin.

Do we collectively have so little regard, not just for the land we live on, but ourselves, to think that this is any way to act?

Thought black holes were donut-shaped? It turns out they're more like deadly fountains

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"A big killer fountain"

So not like a big killer plughole then?


Damned science.

Giraffe hacks printers worldwide to promote God-awful YouTuber. Did we read that one right?

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Re: Get me a babysitter

"Though unfortuantely prone to making jokes that are not well recieved Felix is a pretty normal guy. Down to earth, fairly intelligent and successful. "


Normal guy...

Iron Bones, you maybe should start, oh I don't know..., maybe widening out your social circle a little if he is your definition of what constitutes normal.

Australia to build a pirate-proof fence: Brace yourselves, Google

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Re: That's a good point. And...

"I call BS - provide evidence or STFU"

I would like to think this is how Snowden became incentivised to do what he did.

Other than a moral imperative, that is.

Black(out) Friday for HSBC: iOS and Android banking apps on the fritz

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"Anon as ex employee."

Suffice to say, bet you are getting the blame right now!

Malware scum want to build a Linux botnet using Mirai

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I saw that picture on the article front page, and thought that they were unicorn penguins.

Then I realised what they were.

I am disappointed.

Why can't there be unicorn penguins?

Oh wait...

Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog

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@Ken Re: catalogue shopping

"there'll be a stray cat waiting to follow you home and it will be hungry."

The default position of any cat is 'I am hungry, give me food'. This is just a test, however, to see how mallable your mind is.

Usually when you fall into the category of 'soft touch' by offering them food, they will then just turn their noses up at you with a look of disgust* to put you in your proper place.

*Unless a partcularly nice morsel. They aren't stupid. Just self absorbed.

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@Gary F Re: I received this scam-like email - thanks for verifying El Reg

"I don't have a bloody cat, never had and never clicked on anything cat-like."


OnePlus 6T: Tasteful, powerful – and much cheaper than a flagship

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Re: Dumb dumb dumb

"I disparage the people who rail about SD support and removable batteries"

Really? Disparage? What on earth for? Just because your use case doesn't mandate the necessity of those things...

Sensible requests from my perspective, as an Android user who also has a mac and distrusts cloud storage for anything important/sensitive.

We agree on the headphone jack, however.

Xiaomi anarchy in the UK: Chinese tat-flinger wants to slip its cheapo flagships in Brit pockets

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I mean, when a phone manufacturer calls a phone Black Shark how can you not mention this in your article?

Andrew, are you losing touch with your core audience?

Smartphone industry is in 'recession'! Could it be possible we have *gasp* reached 'peak tech'?

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"Could it be possible we have *gasp* reached 'peak tech'?"

We are just showing up that actually we have run out of imagination.

Let's face it. Race to the bottom. There is only so much bandwidth of information we can take in through a letterbox. We don't really need *more*.

Manufacturers are short sighted, dealing whatever must have in the refresh cycle to get that years profits up to appease shareholders. Truly originaly and useful products are fewer and far between (Gemini) .

So lets think of the next great idea! I propose a new operating system first. One that doesn't try and borg the world Or change layout every few cycles. Efficiency being the keyword.

Maybe a new approach to how it is charged. I propose alcohol. Running low? Buy your device a drink for the evening.

Apple breathes new life into MacBook Air with overhauled 2018 model

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@Ian Joyner Re: Well it will look so stylish...

"Did you ever stop to consider that making things repairable makes them more susceptible to failure in the first place? "

You never owned an original ThinkPad, I gather.

Britain's rail ticket-booking systems go TITSUP*

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Re: Well..

maybe there is a basic training issue? If you don't invest then your product will be stationary.

Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

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"playse stawp yoah caht crahppin in ahh embahssy"

That just comes across as UK Black Country accent to me.

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

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Re: Forsooth!

I would guess these.

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I've missed FoTW.

I agree with RichardT. Offer 'Norman' a job. A column, if you will. He can create a rant that mirrors, yet offsets, those with which I believe a one Alistair Dabbs dabbles (SWIDT?) with.

I for one would consider turning off my add blocker, if you did.*

* Lie.

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

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Pull the other...

"* FWIW, similar problems with morning go-slows at Vulture Central are often solved by pouring coffee down writers' throats."

Sure. Coffee. Right...

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s

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What you need...

"Workplaces are quieter now. No longer do you suffer the scream of dot matrix printers or tweedling of fax modems, let alone digital squeaks. I miss these sounds a little, possibly because they seemed, I dunno, organic."

...is a Bastl Bitranger doing its thing in the office.

That will relax you.

LuminosityLink spyware mastermind gets 30 months in the clink, forfeits $725k in Bitcoin

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Re: "not the shooter"

"Sorry but I fail to see the difference."

Windows 10 has many more legitimate uses. I may not agree with MS and their policies, but trying to equate windows to something that is deliberately subversive and intended to be used as it was evidently used isn't going to work.

Whether or not he should have been prosecuted for this is a different matter and that comparison would be laughed out of most courts if you tried to prosecute MS on the same charges.

And that is even without the many, many, many millons they spend of lawyers.

GDPR stands for Google Doing Positively, Regardless. Webpage trackers down in Europe – except Big G's

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Google analytics isn't excluded from GDPR, because google analytics doesn't exist in a vacuum, it is used on a website. So the owners of the website are the ones who are responsble from a GDPR point if view.

THat is the short version. The long version means I would have to re-read stuff to parse it and write a few paragraphs, which a lot of consultants charge money for and, quite frankly, this is now a Saturday and I have other things I would rather do. Obviously not enough to avoid commenting rather vacuously on this thread.


Yale Weds: Just some system maintenance, nothing to worry about. Yale Thurs: Nobody's smart alarm app works

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"To be fair, they are at least doing maintenance and attempting to improve the system and security that they are providing the public"

So....doing a shit job is ok because at least the job is getting done, right?


Pixel 3, 3XL, Slate tab launch: Google emits swanky iPad botherer while tarting up mobes

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Re: iPad-killer

"Remember, skeletons can't play wind instruments & zombies can't sing worth a damn. That will help you weed them out of the crowd of supposedly still living"

Saint-Saëns would have you believe otherwise...

SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

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Re: Don’t call us plucky

Surely this was orchestrated violins?

You can't conduct this any other way.

Sync your teeth into power browser Vivaldi's largest update so far

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If they get the mail client out and it works well, I'll throw my money at them.

I like thunderbird, and have used it extensively for years multiplatform. However, I feel that it is the unloved stepchild of any hair colour in the Mozilla family. I would like to see something that continues refinement to something that is nigh on perfect (I still suspect memory consumption could be easily improved with Thunderbird, althought checking it now I am pleasently surprised. Maybe I am being harsh. ).

Linux kernel 'give me root, now' security hole sighted, dubbed 'Mutagen Astronomy'

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Re: Thanks for clarifying.

" And who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?"

I think that is the fault of General Protection.

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Re: Thanks for clarifying.

"How tricky than can be? Just collate a big list of everything that all the regular readers know and go through that list before publishing any article!"

What a great idea. Or just insert inline helpful remarks directed towards specific reader bases:

"relates to a local privilege escalation bug in the Linux kernel, and creates a means to obtain root ([newbies]administrator, [Autralian geeks]snigger) privileges on a hacked system."

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Re: Thanks for clarifying.

Wow. Hug?

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

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"Are you affected by the outage? Leave us a comment and let us know."

No, I am not affected.

However, I don't own an Alexa device either. But doing my duty, Sir!

Turns out download speed isn't everything when streaming video on your smartphone

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You live in rural Devon. You have vast niceness. Can't you get a mast disguised as a maypole or something?

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I'd be happy with reliable voice and even 3g across everywhere.

Hey ho.

Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

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Re: Why anyone would do business with Apple is a mystery.

Shite customer experience is a shite customer experience, regardless if the customer is sweetness and light or a psycho nutjob.

What happened to equality? Or is some equality more equal than others*...?


*I had to read this several times over. I doubt it makes sense. Then I realised where I was.

Remember when Apple's FaceTime stopped working years ago? Yeah, that was deliberate

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Re: Really?

I only got an A in GCSE physics. Obviously this means my opinion is not as important as those who have a PhD.

So, I too, will add my .02% of value to this and state that as an Apple user, I think idiot tax is perfectly acceptable nomenclature for the price of Apple shiny.

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Re: Really?

"But I given your all embracing description I really am an idiot and my PhD in Non-linear Control Engineering means nothing."

PhD or no, that sentence wants commas.


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