* Posts by Francis Boyle

1647 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

Cold callers illegally sold Aussie farmers 1,700 years worth of printer ink

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Wouldn't the main reason

it wasn't HP be that the courier wouldn't have a vehicle big enough to handle the package.

4
0

AMD does an Italian job on Intel, unveils 32-core, 64-thread 'Naples' CPU

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Probably

because the hardware section has been replaced by the devops section.

4
0

BONG! Lasers crack Big Ben frequency riddle BONG! No idea what to do with this info BONG!

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Hear, hear

Wanders off muttering darkly about the Trade Descriptions Act.

3
0

Swedish politician wants weekly hour of paid sex. For exercise

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Now we know what he wants to do...

I don't know about that. Judging by the amount of office porn floating around the accounting bit might turn out to be an incentive.

1
0

Get this: Tech industry thinks journos are too mean. TOO MEAN?!

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Unfortunately

it's not the hand they want licked.

7
0

Radioactive leak riddle: Now Team America sniffs Europe's skies for iodine isotope source

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: ...should probably get checked out.

I'd keep it to myself. Don't want to wake in an underground lab run by some three letter agency.

8
0

Reg tours submarine cable survey ship
'Geo Resolution'

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Just out of interest

Where exactly do they store those suitcases full of ink?

0
0

Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Gotta be the Psion

That Pyra - little computer in the world's ugliest box - thing must qualify some sort of anti-Psion surely?

1
0
Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Not the compact cassette.

No system that involves storing information in powder glued to a flexible base is ever going to be reliable. Tape and floppies are two technologies that I have no nostalgia for.

5
0

Probe President Trump and his crappy Samsung Twitter-o-phone, demand angry congressfolk

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

"The Deep State"

So that's what they're calling the US constitution now. Of course any American who didn't spend their civics class drawing dicks on their desk would know about constitutional checks and balances.

Memo to all the I am furious orange people out there: Constitutional limits on government power apply even when your guy is the government.

17
0

Standards Australia might send Tesla's PowerWalls outside

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Maybe not

but it may prevent you been killed by fumes which ISTR is the main cause of death in fires.

(You could also try installing the battery in a fire resistant enclosure.)

4
0

Well-rested women in danger of bouncing their men into early grave

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Having exceeded our design specifications...

I'm calling citation needed on that one. What happened a "few thousand years ago" that suddenly increased human life span? I'm guessing you're referring to the transition from a hunter gather lifestyle to agriculture and urban living but why that change should be so beneficial is not at all obvious

0
0

This many standards is dumb: Decoding 25Gb Ethernet and beyond

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: cat-8?

""WTF happened to cat-7?"

It's was only ever made available for Window 9'

Nonsense. It's used on all IPv5 networks.

4
0

Waymo robo autos way mo' primo at avoiding-o wreck-os (yeah, yeah, we ran out of rhymes)

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Will thieves, ruffians and other ne'er-do-wells be able to defeat these locks with a simple metal bar? Nothing will replace squatting in your hovel with a good sharp axe.

0
0

Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Lynch's Dune was good, lots of people agree

"Where did you get that from? It's not mentioned in the film at any point. See my comment directly above yours for the reasoning behind their short lifespan."

Dave has one theory, you have another. All we know from the film is that the replicants were genetically engineered and given a shortened lifespan. Since the genetic engineering is a fictional technology, it's open to the new film makers to decide that the lifespan limitation can be reversed on an individual basis. Does that 'spoil' the original film? Possibly, but it would take more than just contradicting what Roy Batty was shown to have "accepted". We'll just have to wait and see.

2
0

Doomsday Clock moves to 150 seconds before midnight. Thanks, Trump

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Starfish Prime

1500 km from Hawaii and several hundred kilometres into space so line of sight. Did widespread but minor damage though that was in 1962. Might be a bit more serious if it were to happen today.

3
0

Former Mozilla dev joins chorus roasting antivirus, says 'It's poison!'

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: If MS AV is the best...

"Initially, the two companies will offer a complimentary trial and the option of special pricing for the Norton Internet Security 2006 suite to users who are downloading the latest version of Adobe Reader"

Oh, happy days.

These days they just try to sneak McAfee onto your machine.

0
0

I'm deadly serious about megatunnels, vows Elon Musk

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Tunnel != Hyperloop

It could be a part of a roundabout face-saving. Most of the problem with the hyperloop idea could be solved by using a tunnel rather than an above ground tube. If Musk could fine a way to do for tunnelling what he's currently doing for the space launch industry an underground hyperloop might be feasible. Well, really just an underground vacuum maglev system of the sort I've been reading about for the last forty years. But if he could make it work, even as an airport city centre shuttle it would be an impressive achievement.

1
0

This goldfish and its steerable robot tank will destroy humanity

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

They did originally order a combat vehicle

but there was a mix up and that went to someone called "TheDoctor718437".

0
0
Francis Boyle
Silver badge

We should be safe

until someone tries this with an octopus.

0
0

Northumbria Uni fined £400K after boffin's bad math gives students a near-killer caffeine high

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

ssshhh

you're ruining the business model.

0
0
Francis Boyle
Silver badge

You're taking the piss

aren't you?

3
0
Francis Boyle
Silver badge

2016

Siri says it's a type of skirt used worn by ballerinas.

Cortana says she needs to update her addition module.

Google says it's four and would you be interested in some great deals on two by four.

10
0

WTF? Francis Ford Coppola crowdsources Apocalypse Now game

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Considering

a modest home in the suburbs will set you back the better part of a million dollars becoming a multi-millionaire doesn't make you a fat cat - it just means you were moderately successful and invested wisely (or were raking it in and blew most of it on cocaine, booze and hookers).

1
5

Chinese bloke cycles 500km to get home... in the wrong direction

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

He's illiterate

not stupid. There's a difference, you know.

9
0

Too much landfill, too little purpose: CES 2017

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

"why the hell can't they just get on with it "

Because the 'eye' in your dick isn't a real eye and you probably wouldn't want it to be.

0
0

Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

The real world Tony Stark

just became president.

What was that about reality being a bitch?

2
0

IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

You mean

you don't have a personal saline drip for use when reading On Call?

2
0

Welcome to the Wipe House: President Trump shreds climate change, privacy, LGBT policies on WhiteHouse.gov

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: The front cover of the year

Now that, that is terrifying.

6
0
Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: @dalethorn

Spoken like a true fascist.

14
5

Lord of the Dance set to deliver high kicks at Trump’s big ball

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

He

But he's a rich celebrity who can say that he's built a business for himself.

He can say it but like a sizable chunk of the things he says it's not going to be true

22
1

Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

You're slipping

Surely it's a megastructure not just a boring old structure.

0
0

Revealed: How Nvidia's 'backseat driver' AI learned to read lips

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

I was a bit disappointed

that El Reg couldn't manage a Hal reference but the Kipper loving one's post upthread more than made up for that.

0
0

Japan tries to launch satellite on rocket the size of a telegraph pole

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

In that case I suggest

I suggest shipping a large supply of baked beans to Braemar.

0
0

SpaceX makes successful rocket launch

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Conspiracy? Two references to speeding bullets during the webcast.

All you conspiracy theory deniers will be laughing on the other sides of your faces when the Giant! Space! Frogs! Attack!

Nurse! Nurse!

2
0

Tech moguls dominate Oxfam's rich people Hateful 8

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Seems

old Henry's ghost just got tech savvy. Who'd have thought it. Trump's victory is certainly flushing 'em out.

1
0

Just give up: 123456 is still the world's most popular password

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Don't Just Blame Users

If your bank is using your date of birth or address as a security question it's doing it wrong and you probably should find a new bank. My bank at least allows me to choose my own question but that's not either since it ridiculously easy to create a question the answer to which even you can't remember.

4
0

Home Einsteins help turn up 13 new pulsars

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: How the hell does a star change its rotation?

Tidal interaction with a companion in a highly eccentric orbit?

1
0

McDonald's forget hash, browns off security experts

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

They wanted to hash the passwords really

but they knew they should salt them first and they couldn't figure out how to get those little paper packets to the users.

8
0

AT&T CEO clambers up Trump's tower, explains why he should shower gold for Time Warner

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Maybe

because Trump uses hotels in order to avoid soiling his own nest.

0
0

Now for a really cool micro-drum solo: Boffins chill gizmo below quantum limit

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Science-Fiction getting more real every day

Is the steak also spherical?

Since, as you,* it's the cow that's actually spherical the steak can be a nice clean slab due to the absence of all that pesky anatomy.

*help, I think I'm trapped in a bad SF story.

0
0

You know how cop cars pile into each other in old comedy movies? That's how the Moon was built, say boffins

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

You must have been hallucinating

There was never such a thing on TV. Next you'll be saying you saw something about sentient trees that can grow to full size overnight. Which is exactly as insane as it sounds.

0
0

Prison librarian swaps books for bars after dark-web gun buy caper

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Has the Serious Crime Squad

changed it's name to the Silly Crime Squad yet?

Many years ago when I used to watch the German detective show Derrick I was always amused whenever the title character identified himself as working for the "Kriminalpolize".

0
0

Did webcam 'performer' offer support chap payment in kind?

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Love a good pr0n investigation

"Yes

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/annal"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/an. . . err, forget it.

0
0

How Rogue One's Imperial stormtroopers SAVED Star Wars and restored order

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: "How many Stormtroopers does it take to...

Stormtroopers, nah. You need nukes for that. Lotsa nukes.

0
0

Snapchat coding error nearly destroys all of time for the internet

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Re: Could this explain why

"My time travellers wear frock coats and tartan waistcoats."

Quite right too. On the other hand there's this.

(Yes, I'm dating myself but some things are never forgotten.)

2
0

Los Angeles to extradite bloke from Nigeria after scores of city workers fall for phish scam

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Err,

hasn't it been official since November 8?

10
1

Uber's self-driving cars can't handle bike lanes, forcing drivers to kill autonomous mode

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Let me fix that for you

Uber's reflexive resistance to regulation makes sense, given Silicon Valley's assumption that rules apply only to everyone else that it's Uber.

2
3

US Supreme Court to hear case that may ruin Lone Star patent trolls

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

Seconded

I also went looking. Learnt a lot about liberty ships but nothing about why their gun barrel might be so special. (Also discovered that NASA has a secret space navy but I'm calling citation needed on that one.)

3
0

NASA – get this – just launched 8 satellites from a rocket dropped from a plane at 40,000ft

Francis Boyle
Silver badge

As noted above

it's an old and reliable launch system. A clue to why it's not more widely used can perhaps be had by watching the video and comparing the size of the rocket to the size of the aircraft that's carrying it.

3
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017