* Posts by Francis Boyle

1703 posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

From the Dept of the Bleedin' Obvious... yes, drones hurt when they hit you in the head

Francis Boyle
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Forget peer reviewed

This is why Mythbusters needs to come back.

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Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

Francis Boyle
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No you haven't heard it all, yet

Check Triggerfish's link. Turns out duck's penises are 'explosive'. Yes, there's video.

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Yet more British military drones crash, this time into the Irish Sea

Francis Boyle
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Re: A picture is worth at least one word

On that logic, based on English weather God is German.

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Would you get in a one-man quadcopter air taxi?

Francis Boyle
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Re the headline

I refer you to Betteridge.

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Vivaldi boss: It'd be cool if Google went back to the 'not evil' schtick

Francis Boyle
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Re: Did you all forget your coffee today?

"You mean a reskinned version of Chrome?"

At least Vivaldi doesn't periodically wipe for my browser setting for my "protection".

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Sony remembers it once made a great little phone

Francis Boyle
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Re: I hope compact phones become fashionable again

Well if you're a women you can't tuck it into your bikini top unless you're very well endowed. On the other hand, if you're a man you can't tuck it into your speedos unless you have the chutzpah to pretend you're very well endowed.

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Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

Francis Boyle
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ventriloquist's dummies?

All clowns are scary and all ventriloquist's dummies evil. Anyone who says anything different is just a shill for big clown/big dummy. (Which is like the military industrial complex but with more pratfalls and and absolutely terrible jokes.)

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Belarus declares war on imaginary country within borders of Belarus that is better than Belarus

Francis Boyle
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Is the national dress of Veyshnoria

absolutely nothing at all.

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Boffins turn to AI to zip through piles of gravitational lenses

Francis Boyle
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This is just how science works

We know how gravitational lensing works since GR is a well confirmed theory. We can use that theoretical knowledge to build instruments to give us data about the world we can't acquire directly. In principle it's no different to the way geologist use sophisticated models of the Earth to find mineral deposits except that astronomers have been doing it a lot longer. Look up Cepheid variables for a simple example of how this works in principle. The news here is just the use of ML.

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Tech soap-opera latest: Alexa marries Cortana, will share custody of customers

Francis Boyle
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She's a fine person. She just fell in with a bad crowd.

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Kiwi prankster 'oinks' down cops' radio and sings Old MacDonald

Francis Boyle
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Re: Goodbye pork pie

I remember the original fondly. Not sure a remake is necessary but I'll look out for it.

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Boffin rediscovers 1960s attempt to write fiction with computers

Francis Boyle
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You can laugh

But this is effectively what happened to Hollywood due to the unfortunate influence of Joseph Campbell.

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New York Police scrap 36,000 Windows smartphones

Francis Boyle
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Well,

a law degree and an MBA.

When do I get appointed to the Supreme Court?

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KVM plans big boosts to storage and nested virtualization

Francis Boyle
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Re: RLY?

I'm not sure what you're talking about but bear in mind that virtualisation is inherently kinky since it involves putting things into places they were never designed to go.

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IT worker used access privs to steal £1m from Scottish city council

Francis Boyle
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Re: What about it-chaps?

That says more about you than the entirely sensible advice on that page.

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San Franciscans unite to smite alt-right with minefield of doggy shite

Francis Boyle
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Re: Nice

These puns are a Lille off.

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Microsoft president exits US govt's digital advisory board as tech leaders quit over Trump

Francis Boyle
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"psychotics"

I hope you meant to say 'psychopaths'. The mentally ill have enough on their plate without been compared to these arseholes.

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What weighs 800kg and runs Windows XP? How to buy an ATM for fun and profit

Francis Boyle
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JavaScript?

Nonsense. Everybody knows cats only code in Purrl.

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Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

Francis Boyle
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those earthquake beds

are a good argument for bondage.

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New MH370 analysis again suggests plane came down outside search area

Francis Boyle
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"regular government subsidies"

You mean DoD, Mod etc.

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Batteries that don't burn at the drop of a Galaxy Note 7? We're listening

Francis Boyle
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Re: Lithium batteries are last century's technology

"Two half sized cells would have the same capacity and double the output."

You must be a physicist rather than an engineer. How's the milk from that spherical cow?

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Not another Linux desktop! Robots cross the Uncanny Valley

Francis Boyle
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Yes, but

the Nic Cage unit continues to fool people despite experiencing continual BSODs.

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Blighty’s beloved Big Ben bell ends, may break Brexit bargain

Francis Boyle
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"It all went downhill when Dianna died."

Nonsense. What would they have without the apotheosis of the princess. Die young and leave a beautiful corpse. Not to be taken literally, of course, when fast cars are involved. But at least we'll always have the photographs, unfortunately.

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Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

Francis Boyle
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Germany, 1938

I think you 1928. By 1938 they was a whole nation eager to join "those losers".

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Francis Boyle
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"a small number were nazis"

If you are in a march with, a small number" of people carrying a Nazi flag you either ask them to leave, leave yourself, or accept that you a fucking Nazi.

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OpenAI bot bursts into the ring, humiliates top Dota 2 pro gamer in 'scary' one-on-one bout

Francis Boyle
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I was going to head over to Wikipedia

After ready the comment just to find out what "DOTA" stands for. (Just out of curiosity - the game itself doesn't interest me.) Snowy saved me the trouble. It's not exactly relevant to the article I know. But who cares about relevance -this is El Reg.

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Place your bets: How long will 1TFLOPS HPE box last in space without proper rad hardening

Francis Boyle
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well

I assume they weren't just using it to store yesterday's leftovers and a two-year old jar of Branston pickle that "still should be good - it's been kept in the fridge all the time".

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Hey America! Your internet is going to be so much better this January

Francis Boyle
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Re: Banana Republicans

Everything makes much more sense if you just accept that the US is already a third world country.

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Trapped under ice with no oxygen for months, goldfish turn to booze. And can you blame 'em?

Francis Boyle
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Daleks

probably.

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Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October

Francis Boyle
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Just send Bruce Willis up

with a large bucket of whitewash.

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Blocking peeps on social media? That's a paddlin' for governors, senators, house reps

Francis Boyle
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Re: Meh!

"Public Servant or Private Citizen, its the same thing. If the service (Twitter) allows one to ban followers... then the right to do so exists for all."

Except that that's exactly the matter in question.

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Alien 'lava lamp' with dying magnetic field orbited Earth a billion years ago – science

Francis Boyle
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Are you suggesting

The Sixties were four billion years ago. I protest. I'm no more than a billion years old, at the most.

- someone who remembers the Sixties but only because he was too young to do the drugs.

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Plink: Lego swaps CEO for newer piece

Francis Boyle
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Well then, it just serves them right

I mean how difficult would it have been to check the bottom of his feet before offering him the job.

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At last, a kosher cryptocurrency: BitCoen

Francis Boyle
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I'm working on Bitcrone

the cryptocurrency for witches. Unfortunately development is a bit slow because it's all being written in hex.

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NASA short-lists six candidates for future missions

Francis Boyle
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You forgot CRAPTO

Contrived Rubbish Acronym Purporting To Oraclate. I think Google's got the right idea - just name your project after something yummy.

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Horsemen of the disk-drive apocalypse will ride upon 256TB SSDs

Francis Boyle
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Fortunately

the British Library is waterproof and designed to float. (Well, a SD card, at least, is reasonably waterproof. Getting it to float might require a bit of skill.)

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Mellanox SoCs it to NVMe over Fabrics with BlueField platform

Francis Boyle
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I think El Reg

has now officially reached peak initialism.

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US border cops must get warrants to search phones, devices – EFF

Francis Boyle
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Surely

the point of search at the border is to prevent people bringing contraband into the country not to determine their suitability to enter. Anything more is by definition excessive. Of course, that horse bolted long ago.

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Fire and fury in Korea: Samsung burns Note 7 owners in lawsuit

Francis Boyle
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Let the pun-fest begin

I bet the litigants are red-cheeked now.

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Britons ambivalent about driverless car tech, survey finds

Francis Boyle
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Re: Option to drive manually

If you don't have a licence you don't exercise the option, same as when you've had one too many. What is it about driverless cars that causes people to constantly overthink the problems?

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Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives

Francis Boyle
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It's not the odd bit of the pig

That worry me. I was brought up not to waste food. It's the other stuff. Now, I know these days you can't get away with slipping a few handfuls of sawdust into the mixture but based on taste I suspect that someone has found a way of turning old furniture into "food grade texture supplement".

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Forget Iran and North Korea. Now there's another uranium source

Francis Boyle
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Someone hasn't been reading

XKCD.*

*123 if you're interested. It too late here to write HTML and I'm off to bed.

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Snopes lawsuit latest: Judge orders disputed cash can flow to fact-checking site

Francis Boyle
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Losing the templates must hurt

I mean where can you get a copy of Netscape Composer these days.

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To truly stay anonymous online, make sure your writing is as dull as the dullest conference call you can imagine

Francis Boyle
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An interesting article

This was an interesting article. I enjoye. . . Fuck I just can't do this. It's black helicopters for me.

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Are you a clean freak? Are you a keen geek? Do you think space is neat?

Francis Boyle
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Relax,

the thing about sending Trump is a joke.

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The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

Francis Boyle
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"Rumours of one's death

are slightly premature."

Yes, I prefer Twain's version too.

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One.Tel to finally die in November, 16 years after collapse

Francis Boyle
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I must read that book

My admiration for Paul "Bond* stomped on my business card" Barry is only increased by the knowledge that he's also a programming guru. (Or maybe Google is a little confused.)

Alan, not James, for any non-Australians who happen to be reading this.

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Ohm-em-gee: US nuke plant project goes dark after money meltdown

Francis Boyle
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WOW

FSS actually says something that happens to be true. (The bit about the military). The rest unfortunately. . .

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Sun of a b... Rising solar temp wrecks chances of finding ET in our system

Francis Boyle
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Re: NO gas molecule can capture, store, redirect or amplify radiant energy photons....

"Is AMFM breeding?"

As someone who has from time to time tried to construct a typology of the crazy I can assure you that they're very different breeds of nonsense.

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Clear August 21 in your diary: It's a total solar eclipse for the smart

Francis Boyle
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Re: Eclipses confuse me

You can get away with lemon but lime is preferred.

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