* Posts by Aladdin Sane

1874 posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

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Re: Need to determine your alignment?

Neutral evil apparently.

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Re: Statistically speaking

Bit of spin and you can get some real swerve on it.

Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD

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Re: Well, there was this time...

Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

Happy Christmas! Bloodhound SSC refuelled by Yorkshire business chap

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Joke

Re: cat in the suitcase

Schrödinger's luggage both is and isn't lost at Heathrow.

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Re: @MonkeyBob

Heroin?

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Pint

When asked "Why did you want to climb Mount Everest?", George Mallory simply replied "Because it's there."

Fed up with Oracle's Sith, AWS wades into Big Red's lawsuit over Pentagon JEDI contract

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Do you remember the time I knew a girl from Mars? I don't know if you knew that.

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But the Jedi are the bad guys

Evidence.

Spending watchdog points finger at Capita for 1,300 shortfall in British Army rookies

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Flame

No one knows if recruitment system will be usable once contract ends in 2022

Pretty sure it's unusable now.

Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off

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Weren't they in Dumbo?

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RTFA

"There is no detail of which company makes the kiosks, where the images are stored or how long they are kept for."

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Well that's just fucking creepy, especially considering the age demographic of a large chunk of her fanbase.

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again

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I read that as Thanos.

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Coat

Re: Telefunken invented the balled mouse?

Some balls are held for charity

and some for fancy dress...

LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

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Re: Beer in the Sodastream?

I recall a TV program where Heston Blumenthal put Blue Nun through a sodastream and got city boys and girls to blind taste test it against expensive Champagne - the Blue Nun won.

Bloodhound SSC reaches the end of the road for want of £25m

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Re: Dyson

Seeing as my post got deleted (probably because I used a naughty word), here's my second attempt.

Dyson is too busy being a hypocrite over Brexit to invest in this.

This post has been deleted by a moderator

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

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Can CIMON lipread?

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

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Sand? When I were a lad, we had to get grit from t'road.

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Re: Xmas dinner?

Cranberry sauce is shit.

Bread sauce, on the other hand, is awesome.

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

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Re: Inside for 6 and a half years?

The Ambassador's Balls are known for their exquisite taste.

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

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You do know that students tend to be complete dicks, right?

Brit bomb hoax teen who fantasised about being a notorious hacker cops 3 years in jail

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Don't mess

with the Tau'ri.

Cambridge Analytica's administrators misled judge, High Court told

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POPCORN TIME!

See above

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

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The Vimes special?

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Re: Learned Something New

UK > Denmark > Left pondia

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Re: Just my pair of coppers...

Downvote just for mentioning the bollock fruit.

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Flame

For a proper American style park barrel, you fuck a hole in the barrel and then get paid a dollar. Inside the barrel is a poor person.

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Re: Which is better?

From bacon seed to bacon.

Bloodhound Super-Sonic-Car lacks Super-Sonic-Cashflow

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Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

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Re: The wrong day

Is there ever a right day?

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Hanlon's razor strikes again.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

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Surely 3rd rate was several steps above RM?

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate

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Re: Reminder

That would be Arnold J Rimmer, BSC SSC.

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

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Does BOFH work for Crapita now?

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Re: Stuck in a Loop

Absent?

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits

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Re: Can't chat on Whatapp and Facebook?

But there are people there!

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Re: Not just O2

It's close to the whole "matey" style that social media drones take at the moment anyway.

Qualcomm lifts lid on 7nm Arm-based octo-core Snapdragon 855 chip for next year's expensive 5G Androids

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But can it run Crysis?

Space policy boffin: Blighty can't just ctrl-C, ctrl-V plans for Galileo into its Brexit satellite

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Re: TL;DR

What gave it away?

If you ever felt like you needed to carry 4TB of data around, Toshiba's got you covered

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How many would you need to download tumblr?

Asking for a friend.

OM5G... Qualcomm teases next Snapdragon chip for phones: The 855 with a fingerprint Sonic Screwdriver, er, Sensor

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signals can't travel very far nor penetrate walls and fog

"NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLOM OF NIT CAN STAY THESE MESENGERS ABOT THEIR DUTY"

GOPwned: Republicans fall victim to email hack

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Re: This kind of thing will happen when the NRCC Admin password is

I can haz?

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

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Coat

perhaps keep a box of tissues nearby

For the most ardent of iFanboys

Microsoft: New icons, new drivers, AI! Everything is awesome!

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Re: New icon design

I always think of Anne McCaffrey's talents universe.

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Re: FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!!!!!

'And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.'

Terry Pratchett, Maskerade.

Intel eggheads put bits in a spin to try to revive Moore's law

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I prefer to write code.

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

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That would involve them turning Windows into a Linux distro.

No, you haven't gone deaf – the Large Hadron Collider has been wound down for more upgrades

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Boffin

Has the LHC not destroyed the universe yet?

How disappointing.

Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

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Re: Worthless without pictures

Bit of a cock up.

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