* Posts by trevorde

127 posts • joined 2 Jun 2015

Page:

Ministry of Justice abandons key plank of £280m IT project

trevorde

Re: IT, fostering delusions since 1977

Here's how things work in the real world of software development:

Customer spends 2 years and massive amounts of money developing an unambiguous, watertight specification. This takes endless rounds of meetings, consultations, requests for comments, workshops and fact finding trips.

Specification is put out to tender. The only companies willing to wade through the 3000 pages of specifications are massive, multi-national conglomerates (MMNC). Small, innovative software companies know to avoid this potential clusterf*ck.

After a year, there are only 3 tender bids, all from the same 3 MMNCs. All 3 bids are similarly priced and will take several years to complete. The tender is awarded to the same MMNC which has several other, similarly sized contracts.

Work commences and initially proceeds well until the first change request. It turns out that some requirements have changed since the spec was developed 3 years ago. Some things are no longer needed but other things are now essential. MMNC does an impact assessment and says project will be only delayed by 1 month, with no impact on cost. This emboldens people who now think that *all* changes are free. Changes now come in thick and fast as a lot has changed in the intervening 3 years. MMNC then says that project will be delayed and cost more as changes are not really free, after all.

Work still goes on until someone notices that the colour of a widget is not specified. All work stops while the colour is queried with the company. This takes endless rounds of meetings, consultations, workshops and fact finding trips. After 3 months, a decision is made on the colour of the widget and work recommences.

The above cycle is repeated until something is *eventually* delivered at twice the cost and twice the time. Users try it but their needs have changed in the 6 years since the spec was written, so they don't use it.

The 'blame game' now starts in earnest with the company and MMNC each pointing the finger at each other. This continues until the next specification is developed and put out to tender.

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate

trevorde

I am a 'Sanitation Engineer'

It's a lot of work, being popular: Apple, Tim Cook and the gilets jaunes

trevorde

Apple business plan

Sell less and less, even more expensive devices to fewer and fewer rich people.

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

trevorde

Value added installer

Many years ago, I worked on some *really* expensive software. It was about $25k USD *per seat* about 20 years ago. Only problem was the installer only took a few seconds to run. Where is the value in that? I wrote a small, err, 'installer helper' which just displayed a dialog box with a progress bar and some customisable text eg 'Configuring datastore' (there was none), 'Acquiring network connections' (not required), 'Updating discombobulator' etc. The installation procedure went from 20s to well over 10 minutes. Now *that* is value for money!

It's official. Microsoft pushes Google over the Edge, shifts browser to Chromium engine

trevorde

Progress?

The browser is the new operating system.

Developers still have to test on all supported (versions of) browsers. Some large organisations are on a fixed version of a browser for several years. Browsers have regressions and inconsistent support for 'standards'.

Chrome is now the dominant browser ie same as Windows on the desktop.

We are really no better off.

And the next 7nm laptop processor will be designed by In, er, AM, um, Qualcomm: The 64-bit Arm Snapdragon 8CX

trevorde

If all you ever do is run Chrome...

... then get a ChromeBook

Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors

trevorde
Trollface

Introducing New MS VP of Windows Development

Linus Torvalds

FYI: NASA has sent a snatch-and-grab spacecraft to an asteroid to seize some rock and send it back to Earth

trevorde
Joke

But, but, but...

... why isn't it flat? Like Earth?

As sales slide, virtual reality fans look to a bright, untethered future

trevorde
Trollface

Magic Leap FTW!!

Have you seen their demo video? These guys are going to CRUSH it!!

Blockchain study finds 0.00% success rate and vendors don't call back when asked for evidence

trevorde

Flawed study

Because it did not projects also including artificial intelligence, machine learning and virtual reality. Every entrepreneur knows you need those elements to guarantee success(*).

(*) getting lots of investor money

Tape vendors feel the cold, clammy hand of AWS on their shoulders. Behind them grins the Glacier Deep Archive

trevorde

There is no such thing as the glacier...

... it's just someone else's tape archive

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost

trevorde

Peak Apple

TBH, I think we reached it a few years ago

I was once one of you, F1 star Lewis Hamilton tells delighted IT bods

trevorde
Thumb Up

Re: What a knob

"...before the race on 2 June 1929, she indulged in a long night of champagne, morphine and sex.

She won regardless,..."

You go, girl!

1,700 lucky Brit kids to visit Apple Stores for 'Year of Engineering'

trevorde

Real world software engineering

- endless, soul crushing meetings

- coffee

- pointless documents to review

- micromanagers

- clueless CTOs

- buzzword bingo

- using outdated technology

- maintaining someone else's cr4p code

- very occasionally writing code

- impossible demands from marketing/sales

- last minute requirements from marketing/sales

- conflicting requests from marketing/sales

- constantly changing priorities

- 'performance' reviews

- annual Resource Actions (IBM only)

Microsoft sysadmin hired for fake NetWare skills keeps job despite twitchy trigger finger

trevorde
Pint

Other side of the fence

Quite some time ago, I had to interview a candidate for a software development role. His CV seemed to indicate all the right-ish sort of experience, so we asked him in for a chat. He arrived in a suit and tie, and, according to my work colleague, smelt of chip fat (!). He was more than a bit overweight, sweating and very nervous, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and served up a few soft ball questions. His answers were invariably: "I'm sorry, I can't remember", even as the questions got progressively easier and easier. Needless to say, he didn't get the job. We suspected the recruitment agent had sent over his local pub landlord for a bit of a laugh.

Yikes. UK military looking into building 'fully autonomous' killer drone tech – report

trevorde
Joke

Missing a few things

"Powered by advances in artificial intelligence (AI), machine learning, and computing..."

Where is the blockchain and VR?

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

trevorde

True story...

Well, it was told to me as a true story and one should never let the truth get in the way of a good story...

There is this bloke in Melbourne, Australia who goes around to all the government auctions and buys up all their obsolete computer gear eg washing machine disk drive etc. He gets the stuff for pennies/cents since its all obsolete and nobody wants it. He then stores it all in a disused aircraft hangar and waits... Inevitably, some *other* government department urgently needs a washing machine disk drive to keep their legacy system going. Guess where they have to go to get one? I'm sure he doesn't mark it up too much!

Graph database biz Neo4j doubles total funding courtesy of $80m E-series splurge

trevorde

Graph databases are also good for...

... blockchain and VR!

I've used neo4j and there're other graph databases out there which do more or less the same thing, probably even AI too

IBM sits draped over the bar at The Cloud or Bust saloon. In walks Red Hat

trevorde

Timeline

I give it 18 months max before the Resource Actions start

Should a robo-car run over a kid or a grandad? Healthy or ill person? Let's get millions of folks to decide for AI...

trevorde

Manual override?

If the car has the choice of running over a worthless celeb (eg Kim Kardashian) or a fat granny, I'd like the option of a manual override as I wouldn't trust the AI to make the correct decision

It only took Oz govt transformation bods 6 months and $700k to report that blockchain ain't worth the effort

trevorde

A solution looking for a problem

Blockchain has been around for over 10 years. If it hasn't found wider application by now, it probably never will.

DXC axes Americas boss amid latest deck chair musical

trevorde

Bet he got a 'golden hello' *and* a 'golden parachute'. I could do that job ie turn up for a few months, realise it's CTD, and then 'leave to pursue other opportunities'.

IBM spits out one cloud manager to rule them all

trevorde

If you can't beat 'em...

... join 'em! (and Ginny will get her bonus)

Though you'd have to be pretty desperate when there're other offerings available.

Apache OpenOffice, the Schrodinger's app: No one knows if it's dead or alive, no one really wants to look inside

trevorde
Trollface

Re: Counting is not so easy.

Does anyone use Linux on the desktop? </troll>

IBM won't grow, says analyst firm while eyeing flatlining share price

trevorde

Ginny

will still get her bonus

Groupon to pay IBM $57m after getting money off e-commerce patent settlement

trevorde
Trollface

New IBM business model

Patent troll

Google taking action against disguised code in Chrome Web Store

trevorde

Easier option

Release app for iOS

Sopra Steria exec on warpath as its UK Government profit crashes ... by millions

trevorde
Megaphone

Translation

I'M NOT GOING TO GET MY BONUS THIS YEAR AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! NOW WORK HARDER OR YOU'RE ALL SACKED!

Former Apple engineer fights iPhone giant for patent credit and denied cash, says Steve Jobs loved his 'killer ideas'

trevorde
Unhappy

It happens to all companies eventually

Substitute Apple for Google, Microsoft, IBM...

VR going mainstream? Yeah, next year, says Facebook, for the third year in a row

trevorde

Here we go again!

Again!

Tech to solve post-Brexit customs woes doesn't exist yet, peers say

trevorde

The answer is...

... BLOCKCHAIN!! Optional Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning and Virtual Reality.

What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

trevorde

Why...

... would any youngster want to work for IBM over Apple, Google, Microsoft or anyone else? Working for IBM used to get some kudos on your CV, now it's more of a black mark.

Guess who just bought Maplin? Dragons' Den celebrity biz guy Peter Jones

trevorde

Another sound investment

from the person who invested in Hamfatter:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamfatter

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

trevorde

Re: Developer PC

Worked at a company on a *huge* C++ app where one of my good mates was working on the 'main module' for the system. Over the years, the 'main module' turned into a dumping ground for everything which didn't have an obvious home (or if the devs were too lazy to figure it out). Inspite of having the fastest hardware money could buy, linking the main module took over 20 *minutes*! My mate could only try about two dozen changes a day. He did a *lot* of web surfing.

Abracadabra! Tales of unexpected sysadmagic and dabbling in dark arts

trevorde

Re: religious co workers

Heard a similar story, told to me as a true story...

It was a company employing *lots* of PhD level maths geeks, who all got an 'I love you' email from the rather attractive receptionist. In spite of their collective genius, they *all* fell for it; each thinking their ship had finally come in!

Apple leaks rekindle some hope for iPhone 'supercycle' this year

trevorde

Re: I've said this before

Please don't forget the microsd slot

Teardown chaps strip away magic from Magic Leap's nerd goggles

trevorde

Missing parts

Where were the unicorns and fairy dust?

IBM slaps patent on coffee-delivering drones that can read your MIND

trevorde

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Patent says it could server important or famous people first, so it'd go to whoever is on stage :-(

Is Apple going ease off its HomeKit chokehold? Sure looks like it...

trevorde

Apple Strategy

embrace, extend, extinguish

Apple laughing all the way to the bank – with profits of $5.3m per hour

trevorde

TL;DR

Summary for those with short attention spans:

* sold more, expensive iPhone X's

* sold less of all other hardware

* sold lots of services

Some Things just aren't meant to be (on Internet of Things networks). But we can work around that

trevorde

Firmware updates

yeah, right

UK.gov outsourcers must prove their 'social value' to win contracts

trevorde

Currently working for a large government organisation. It takes about two years (!) for a vendor to have a product certified for purchase. This means it is only larger companies who can finance themselves for two years until the first revenues start coming in. The organisation wants to encourage smaller, innovative companies into the market. So far, it is only larger, staid companies showing any interest.

Virtual reality meets commercial reality as headset sales plunge

trevorde
Coat

I'm waiting for...

... Magic Leap! Those guys have some awesome tech! I'm not wasting my money on Occulus Rift or Vive. In fact, I've even pre-ordered so I'll have one of their first sets. They told me I should get it for Christmas.

HPE pulls sheets off largest Arm-based supercomputer Astra

trevorde
Joke

Will it run Doom?

or DOS?

watchOS 5 hints at new Apple wearables and life beyond the Watch

trevorde

Killer app

Killer app *has* to be pr0n (obviously on the other wrist)

Crappy IoT on the high seas: Holes punched in hull of maritime security

trevorde

Not quite...

Not quite IoT but still 5h17 :-(

'Incomprehensible failure' – Canada's $1bn Phoenix payroll IT fiasco torched by auditors

trevorde

Re: Time-Quality-Cost triangle

Worked at a place where management wanted it on time, at high quality and within budget. We dubbed it the 'Iron Triangle'.

How much is the drone biz worth to the UK? How's £42bn by 2030 sound? – PWC

trevorde

Didn't they(*) say the same things about...

virtual reality

* 'they' being various 'experts' hyping the next big thing

Oz sports’ pee-samplers outed buying Cellebrite phone-crack kit

trevorde

Next customer will be...

Library services - overdue books are a big problem and a marker for terrorist activity

DXC UK chops more customer-facing service staff

trevorde

Re: There's an old business adage...

Don't forget these spins from IBM:

'workforce rebalancing'

'resource action'

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019