* Posts by TomPhan

75 posts • joined 12 May 2015


A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears


Re: So...

Stayed in a quite expensive central London hotel where the fridge was unplugged daily by the cleaners.

Apple disables iPad for 48 years after toddler runs amok


Re: Elder Signs

The laundry will be visiting soon.

Centrica: Server fault on Wednesday caused Hive to crash on the Tuesday. Yes, yes, that's what we said


But would you like some toast?

BOFH: Tick tick BOOM. It's B-day! No we're not eating Brussels flouts...


Business Chemistry

Just completed the "test" from that and going on a days training next week. If only rolls of carpet and quicklime could be used without repercussions.


Re: This...

Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.

Basically some people were talking about Baader-Meinhof [as in terrorist group] and then heard lots more people talking about it, and the phenomenon was named.

And the way it works you'll now start seeing more references to BM.

UK code breakers drop Bombe, Enigma and Typex simulators onto the web for all to try


Re: Explain like I'm five ..

Another clue was bureaucracy, many of the messages had a standard header with the date and other consistent identifiers.

College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system


It never happened

I mean, a higher up who understood what what happen, total fantasy.

Hapless engineers leave UK cable landing station gate open, couple of journos waltz right in


"almost completely unchallenged"

So in other words they were challenged?

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it


I was being sent on a training course and the big debate was whether I'd fly early on the morning of the first day, rather than the day before, in order to save paying for a night in the hotel.

Reason prevailed, which is why I was watching the events of 9/11 while eating breakfast, rather than being on a plane which was diverted to the nearest safe landing spot.

Age checks for online pr0n? I've never heard of it but it sounds like a good idea – survey


I've got a job as a porn checker, £100 a week - I know it's not much but that's all I could afford.

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?


Re: No...

Perhaps you'd like a bagel?

WWW = Woeful, er, winternet wendering? CERN browser rebuilt after 30 years barely recognizes modern web


Re: but.. what? how?

Now you need to look up Baader-Meinhof.

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin


Re: Innovative sundials?

When the sun goes down you go to sleep, so no need to check the sundial any more.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams


Re: Hmmm...

You mean your local cannabis shop doesn't sell them pre-rolled? What sort of backwards country are you living in?

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?


Forgotten your login Marcus?


Re: Doctor Who is a documentary...

DOCTOR: Mister President, that child just told you everything you need to know, but you weren't listening. Never mind, though, because the answer's yes. I'll take the case. Fellows, the guns, really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States and parked a big blue box on the rug. Do you think you can just shoot me?

RIVER: They're Americans!

DOCTOR: Don't shoot. Definitely no shooting.

You got a smart speaker but you're worried about privacy. First off, why'd you buy one? Secondly, check out Project Alias


Just a couple of minutes work to change the wake word to "Computer" and set up a routine to turn off the lights triggered by "reduce our energy signature", which is pretty close.


Re: you could simply not put the creepy things in your home


Facebook didn't care if your kids ran up gigantic credit card bills – lawsuit


Returning digital goods?

So if the credit card transaction is refunded do the digital goods [gems, gold, hats, or whatever] disappear from the game? How about if they've been used?

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...


Re: The "Apprentice" phase

You become a master when not only do you stop what you were doing, but also take credit for making everything work again.

Huawei and Intel hype up AI hardware, TensorFlow tidbits, and more


Deepfake Tan

Hours after the story, someone must have made that comment already.


Re: deepfake?

Although owned by Fox the new broadcasts on regional stations usually take the political climate of the local area. Q13, based at the side of Lake Union in Seattle, is probably more to the left than any other station owned by Fox.

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong


Re: Ah, the carefree days of yore

How did you get it out of the lounge?

Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing


Needs the human touch

Remember to add a random number of seconds to each process so it looks like it was manually generated, rather than always appearing on the hour.

2018 ain't done yet... Amazon sent Alexa recordings of man and girlfriend to stranger


I'm assuming someone's Alexa ID is the same as their Amazon ID, due to the devices being tied to an account. Possibly as a level of security the Alexa logs aren't automatically attached, a user needs to re-enter the ID to get them, and it was at that stage where the miskey happened.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab


I think the first time I heard that pun was on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - "Colin Searle has been working with Adele - he says it's better than his old laptop"

Amazon's self-driving AI robo-car – THE TRUTH (it's a few inches in size)



There's three outcomes - cat hides, cat ignores it, cat smashes it to pieces.

Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane


My local store is over two miles away

Strange that the more right wing and authoritarian USA legalises it but UK doesn't.

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette


Not the story I was expecting

Assumed it was going to be about a younger person seeing unfamiliar technology and fearing the worst.

Brace yourself, Britain: Health minister shares 'vision' for NHS 'tech revolution'



Wouldn't it be cheaper/simpler to get a countrywide installation of Epic?

Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?


My standard password anecdote

A place I briefly worked at was very big on security and automatically generated random passwords for everyone at the end of every month. Which were printed and left in an envelope on your desk to start using the next day.



Our in-house training still recommends that as an example of a secure password.

Microsoft: For God's sake, people, cut down on the meetings!


Travel time

There needs to be a calendar utility which automatically adds to any meeting the time it'll take to get to and from it.

Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month


Re: Data format parsing

Even the first part of my address breaks some forms, which don't expect a house number to have 5 digits.

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster


For a while we had a customer who would take us out to lunch on his tab - he liked a big meal and a lot to drink, and realised if he took people from the software company maintaining his company's system (i.e. us) then he could claim it all on expenses. And he was senior enough that nobody would question it.

Sadly it came to an end when it was found to be the main cause of projects overrunning, particularly fixing the mistakes caused by drunken and/or hungover programmers.

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Thumb Down

"ISTM that the words, "I'll ask her" (e.g. as in "I'll ask her what she wants for dinner") could easily be mistaken for "Alexa" if said with certain accents."

Tried five minutes of increasingly bizarre accents and couldn't get it to respond.

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave


Re: It's F!@##$ed

A long time ago I used to look after systems for builders merchants and had to leave instructions that if I was unavailable nobody should offer to take a message, because the majority of them were along the line of "tell him the f-ing machines f-ed again"

Get tooled up before grappling with Google's Spanner database


"Hence NoSQL, the collection of database-like alternatives that didn't use SQL"

I think you'll find they actually are databases.

'Repeatable sanitization' is a feature of PCs now


Re: not intended in France

That's just a work of fiction - a super story if you like.


The life of a PC in major medical clinics is usually three years, so it should manage about 10 wipes a day. Depending on the location and the usage that'll be plenty.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Another Amazon Key door-lock hack


The locks used for Amazon Key can be set to automatically lock so many minutes after being opened, and that's separate from any of the Amazon interaction.

Thousand-dollar iPhone X's Face ID wrecked by '$150 3D-printed mask'

Thumb Down

Ars Technica

There's a much better article over at Ars, one where they actually ask questions rather than reprint the press release.

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot



Had something similar - could see remotely that the printer needed paper, so called the user and told them that. He told me he was far too busy to put paper into a printer and an engineer should be sent to fill it, and it needed to be done straight away because without these reports he couldn't do anything...

Hollywood has savaged enough sci-fi classics – let's hope Dick would dig Blade Runner 2049


Re: Bah!

Don't know what mood you want? How about dialing the setting for people who don't know what mood they want.


Re: notorious for remakes.

Not really remakes as they're based on the novel rather than each other, and it's interesting to see how the original is differently interpreted.


Re: Replicant or not

The short story "Human Is" addresses that question directly.

Smart burglar alarms: Look who just tossed their hat into the ring ... It's, er, Ring


The subscription is for someone remotely to respond to an alarm going off and contact the emergency services as needed.

Human-free robo-cars on Washington streets after governor said the software is 'foolproof'


Re: Am I the only one

If it's a snowstorm then Seattle closes down, so they won't need to drive anywhere.


Do you mean Microsoft? Nothing to do with Seattle.

Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...


Re: tea please

Unfortunately that often results in being given a paper cup of hot water and told to take a bag of whichever tisane you want.


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