* Posts by Shadow Systems

1119 posts • joined 26 Jul 2007


UK libraries dumped 11% of computers since 2010-11... everybody has one anyway, right?

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: It's almost like...

To err is Human. To really fuck things up takes Managers.

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: large print mills&boon

A joke among the blind goes as follows:

When your partner shaves their pubes down to stubble, what does the stubble read in Braille?

"Start here!"


College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

Shadow Systems Silver badge

I rebooted the universe...

If anyone gets a "divide by cheese error" please file a trouble ticket with the help desk & I'll trigger another reboot.

They're BAAACK: Windows 10 nagware team loads trebuchet with annoying reminders to GTFO Windows 7

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Timmy B, re: Win10 vs GDPR.

Normally I don't feed the trolls, but I'll make an exception in your case.

I've read both the Win10 EULA/TOS/PrivacyStatement about what they do & (supposedly) do not collect.

I've read the GDPR summary to learn what it does & does not cover as far as what data can & can not be collected, under what circumstances it can (not) be collected, the disclosures that must be given for each transfer of PII data, and that consent must be granted for each such disclosure.

So, please, tell me how Win10's data collection on a bulk scale is NOT in violation of the GDPR & similar rules?

Everything I've heard thus far shows unambiguously that in a fight between Win10 & the GDPR, safe money is on the GDPR.

Even Reno, Nevada back room odds takers won't take bets on MS to win that fight.

Because even the blind guy can see the problems in their legal arguments to try & cover their asses.

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Kiwi, re: Win10 vs GDPR.

*Raises tankard & clinks it to yours*


No offense taken about the "even the blind guy can see the problems in this" comment, I've used it myself often enough to point out the fekkin' bleedin' obvious.

*Slaps a Twenty on the bar & motions to the Publican for a refill of our tankards*

This round is on me, now pass the popcorn. =-D

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Charlie Clark, re: small business upgrades.

Unless you are a corporation able to afford a Enterprise or VLK license from MS, Windows 10 may not be an option from a legal POV.

If you deal with protected classes of data such as patient health records, client-therapist/lawyer confidentiality, or anything your customers expect to go no further than your internal records, you may be setting yourself for a rocketing trip up shite creek without so much as a life jacket, paddle, snorkel, or rubber bath duck.

If the MS Win10 telemetry puts you afoul of various data protection laws like GDPR, imagine how screwed you'll become because MS is causing you to be in violation.

I live in California (spits at & gives TheFinger to Silly Cone Valley) and will laugh myself hoarse if/when my state government passes laws to mirror/surpass GDPR.

I will cheer & dance when Redmond gets turned into a smoking glassy crater where even the cockroaches can't survive.

I would die a gleeful death if all of MS' C-level execs wind up swinging from nooses on public gibbits(gibbets? sp?) for public display & As A Warning To Others.

*Deep breath*

Anyway, if you can't afford the class of license that allows you to clamp the telemetry to as near zero as possible, a small business using Win10 may be setting themselves up for a world of hurt.

How can a non enterprise/VLK license version be sure they're complying with the various data protection laws if the OS itself is sending all said data to MSHQ?

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: At Dave K, re: LTSB.

Ah, piracy. Gotchya.

Go enjoy a pint with my thanks.

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: System Requirements

I'm considering upgrading to an old 8088 with 1Meg of RAM, a 10Meg hard drive, pumping monochrome amber video through a card with 512Kilobytes of VRAM, all running Windows 3.1.

How much do you want to bet MS will try to convince me to instal Win10 on it?


/Sarcasm, lots & lots of sarcasm.

I'd really rather get a 9th gen Intel I9 running at 4GHz (up to 5GHz), 128Tb of RAM, a Tb M.2 NVMe SSD, about 100Tb of SAS connected HDD's, all pumping 4K to multiple monitors, running Linux as a base with multiple VM's of various OS' in the background just for shits & giggles.

Win3.11 in one that I use to connect to MS WSUS to pull down patches, just to fuck with their heads.

A VM of OS/2 to connect to sites like the NYT & WaPo so their online tracking algorithms get screwed.

Maybe a VM of Commodore 128D pretending to connect via dial up to make my old bank shit itself.

Perhaps a VM of a Raspberry Pi to try & play Crysis!


*Head explodes from the sarcasm*

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Dave K, re: LTSB.

How can anon educational, non enterprise, non VLK license holder get their hands on such a beast?

I'm currently on Win7Pro64 & don't have the kind of cash required to get the VLK that would enable suchLTSB functionality.

How would "Joe Average" off the street get their hands on the LTSB version?

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Is it stable yet?

Can I install my screen reader & not worry that a forced update will brick it & leave me in the lurch?

The 'reader requires that audio subsystem to be rock solid & I'm concerned that a forced update will leave me without a useable computer.

Is Win10 stable yet?

All good, leave it with you...? Chap is roped into tech support role for clueless customer

Shadow Systems Silver badge

"This will only take a second..."

Words that make me run screaming in the knowledge it will devour all your free time, energy, sanity, & migraine meds in the process.

Boss' that hand you a laptop last thing on Friday claiming it won't take long, except it ends up destroying your life as each fix triggers another fix because the previous one broke something.

Customers that walk in as you're trying to lock up & hand over their desktop with a cry of "Fix it p-p-p-PUHLEEEZE!"

You do all the hardware steps to make sure that's not the cause & then go to fire it up to check software.

Only to heave a huge sigh of relief that you didn't connect it to your network as you watch signs of every known virus, malware, scumware, & 128 different versions of AOL cascading through the damned thing as it powers up.

The boot to an anti virus scan CD & scrub of the bastard requires a day & a half after all the reboots.

You finally get it cleaned & now the fekkin thing won't boot because critical files have just been nuked.

Grab a copy of the OS disk, reboot to repair mode, & have that eat up another half a day or more just fixing all the broken/nuked files.

It finally boots on its own, you get to the desktop, only to find the arsehole is the kind that stores *everything* on the desktop & you can't find the mouse pointer through all the clutter.

You start creating folders into which you can group like items, clean off the desktop until you can find the mouse again, & *NOW* you can finally see the problem that might be the reason the fool brought it in for in the first place.

Namely someone had installed an RDP client, tried to "fix" their computer, & left a ransome note on the desktop with instructions on how to forward the demand money.

But why didn't the computer stay locked up & refuse to let you in at all?

You can thank all the crap on the system that made it impossible for the computer to have enough computational horsepower left over to complete the encryption process.

You delete the RDP client, restore to a previous good state, and jump through all the hoops to get the system working properly...

Only to have the customer ask in confusion "What have you done? All I wanted was for you to figure out why solitare wasn't working! Put it back! WAAAAAHHHH!"

*Deep breath, must. restrain. fists. of. death., relaaaax...*

And you can't refuse to do support for said person because it's your Mum and "I brought you into this world & I can take your ass back out."


Windows XP point-of-sale machine gets nasty sniffle. Luckily there's a pharmacy nearby

Shadow Systems Silver badge

WinXP machines are still for sale...

I was browsing NewEgg.com to drool over hardware I can't afford & one of the filters available was for Windows XP. I thought "WTF? That can't be right!" & applied the filter.

I couldn't believe my ears when my screen reader confirmed that they were indeed selling machines with Windows XP on them.

*Head explodes in disbelief*

We can do this the easy way or the Huawei, US tells Germany with threat to snip intel over 5G fears

Shadow Systems Silver badge

"What's German for PUOSU?"

Exactly. Either my government (spits in disgust) proves its stance on this or it shuts the fuck up about it. You don't *demand* folks do something based on your protectionist fears, you either provide hard, uncontrovertable proof or you Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Dear Germany, please give my government TheFinger with both hands, both feet, a troop of monkies, & every intelligent member of your citizenry that can see through this bullshit. When even the blind guy can see the holes in their logic you *know* the argument isn't worth the breath they wasted in uttering it.

'What's up, Skip?' asks paraglider – before 'roo beats the snot out of him

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: I bet

Those roos were certainly hopping mad about it! =-)P

Packet switching pickle prompts potential pecuniary problems

Shadow Systems Silver badge


I know what the problem was, it was currently staring blindly through the Vogon constructa fleet ship hovering above it like a brick.

Don't feel bad, nobody else saw them either.


Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At YAAC, re: luggage.

My uncle was flying home from South Korea with a pot of kimchi in his luggage. Wrapped in plastic, mummified in Duct Tape, placed inside a ZipLockFreezerBag, & another swathing of DT to make sure it stayed together.

At some point during the flight it broke open & the fumes triggered a panic landing at some back water airstrip barely long enough to handle the plane. Evac the passengers via the slides, quarrentine the plane with BioHazard teams, & search the hold for the bio weapon.

Cue one sheepish uncle when the "WMD" turned out to be his shattered pot of kimchi that had *eaten through* the wrappings & leaked all over the plane.

The airline cleared the plane, refueled it, put everyone back on it, & flew it on to their original destination... and promptly banned his ass from ever flying with them again.

Man, those were the days! =-D

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At GlenP, re: international passengers.

*Nodding like a Bobblehead doll on rough terrain, grinning like a mad scientist*

I don't know what the fines are now, but back then they were something like $10K per person per piece of luggage. One passenger with 5 bits of luggage might cost you the yearly salary of the pilot. The other five passengers on that flight might make the total multiplier enough to create a fine larger than the cost of the *plane*.

You Do. Not. fuck around with international passengers & their luggage. Chicago O'Hare has been known for calling back planes over halfway across ThePond to come get their passengers because the airline would rather pay the fuel costs than the fines.

And THAT means those are fines doing their job as a deterrent to bad acts. When even the threat of such a fine makes them sit bolt upright & DoTheRightThing then you know it's doing its job.


I had my bag of personal clothes/toiletries, a bag of suits, a hard case with all my electrical kit in it (the stuff needed for the training), & my laptop case. I only had my laptop case with me as carry on which meant the rest was in the belly of the plane they called back. =-j

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Martin, re: allowed HTML tags.

Thank you for the link & explanation. Go enjoy a pint or twelve on me & try not to get arrested for drunken debauchery... until I get there to join in the fun! =-D

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Here's my contribution...

I would love to have them. I don't allow scripting (especially not JS) & while the site claims to allow HTML tags it always fucks them up for me.<br> There was a BR tag right there. Did it drop this part down to a new line? All my screen reader hears is that the page says "LessThan BR GreaterThan" instead of the actual HTML working as intended. Ditto with paragraphs.<p> There was a P tag there. Is this a new paragraph? My reader says "LessThan P GreaterThan" which tells me the code isn't being acted upon.

*Shrugs, smiles wearily*

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Here's my contribution...

Back when I worked as a PFY for an American telecommunications company with dreams of becoming an international one, they wanted to send me from my home in California to a European training facility for a bit of software we used. I'm not senior enough in the company to be able to book my own tickets yet so they get to do it all & I've just got to live with it. They book me on a "It's too fekkin' early for this shit" flight to $Layover1, there's a layover of about ten trillion hours (all spent in the general public food court surrounded by things supposed to be food but that looked like it might kill me if I tried) before my next flight is due to arrive. There's some "severe weather" somewhere along the route & my flight is delayed on the tarmack with me inside. Add an hour of "No you can't get up to use the bathroom we're on the runway waiting to take off!" "Yes but either you let me piss in a toilet or you get to clean everything in front of me when my bladder explodes & showers the cabin in-" "YUCK! Go! Go use the bathroom!" "Thank you." agony. The flight eventually takes off & I get to $LayoverPoint2 with about five nanoseconds until my next flight is due to leave- they are calling "last call" as I'm exiting $PlaneA & need to get to $PlaneB on the other side of the concourse. Because I'm an international passenger there are laws that will bite the airline hard for leaving me stranded (especially if they separate me from my luggage) & I hustle but not sprint for the other gate. They have to call back the plane so I can get on the fekkin' thing & can't seem to understand why I'm laughing. Get on the plane, fly to $LayoverPoint3 & have another hours-long layover until next flight is due to leave. Spend it in the general area food court surrounded by smelly hippies playing hackysack in the aisles. Plane arrives, I head for the gate, only to find out that the "stinky hippies" I'd just been watching this entire time is on the same flight. Spend it listening to folks playing hippy instruments & singing pot head songs until we land at $FinalDestination. The cab the company had booked to take me to my hotel is nowhere to be seen. Call cab company & get told "That was for yesterday. You were a no-show." Ummm, flight delays? Did anyone bother to check the fact that my flight didn't land until just now? "No. We're not paid enough to do that shit. Sir." They send a cab out for me, I get to the hotel, check in & go to my room... Which is nestled in among those same damned noisy stinky hackysack footin' hippies. WTF? Turned out they were on some sort of religious pilgramage & were going to $FamousReligiousSite in town. Sigh. Fine. Whatever. I get up nice & early to catch a cab to the training event (the one my company sent me to, remember?) & get to the facility... Only to get told "What training course? There's no training course scheduled. Are you sure?" Call my boss & tell him what I've just learned. He says he'll check & call me back. I sit in the lobby to wait & wind up falling asleep on a couch. Boss calls back *six hours* later & tells me to come home on the next plane. My tickets have been changed to get me home sooner than expected. Fine. Whatever. Thank the desk jockey for letting me sleep on their stuff ("No problem. I know jetlag when I see it!"). Back to hotel, collect my stuff, back to the airport, check in at the ticket desk. They supposedly have no record of any flight I'm supposed to be taking. As in my previously good tickets on $LaterDate have *not* been updated to $EarlierDate but *canceled altogether*. Call boss, update him on ticket situation. He offers to call me back & hangs up. I get my "useless" tickets back & go sit down in some universal torture device claiming to be a chair built for Humans. Boss calls me back in just over an hour & asks "You have the corporate card we gave you for use on flights, right?" No, I'm not senior enough to qualify for one. "Ok, shit. Tell you what. Put the cost of return flight on your own card & submit that for reimbursement when you get back. We'll cover it." (If you can hear warning klaxxons screaming then you get a cookie.) I say fine, we hang up, & I call the number of a local travel agent. Explain the situation, that I would like to get home inexpensively but not "luggage class". She says she understands, does some rapid fire keyboard clicking, & asks "Will a flight leaving in an hour on a direct to LAX be good?" A *one hop* flight direct into Los Angeles International? "Sure! How much?" She names me a price that makes my brain hurt. "That will be perfect. Book it please." She does, I check back in, & I am now on a First Class direct flight into LAX. That one way flight cost less than everything else the company had bungled, AND it got me to my destination feeling more Human than zombie. Get to work the next day, present all my reciepts for reimbursement, and boss says they'll cover them "no problem". (More warning klaxons.) It took nearly six months of wrangling with the bean counters to get paid for all the shit. Quibbling over every packet of peanuts or crisps, much less the cost of food in the overpriced food court. Baulking at the cost for my "missed" cab. Having an absolute appoplectic cow when the cost of my return flight is found. Point out that my return flight cost less than the entire debaucle of my outbound flight. "But you're not senior enough to get first class!" Am I senior enough to call the tax man & let him know you were refusing to pay for an employee's international flight home? "Ummm... No, that won't be needed I'm sure." Yeah. Fine. Whatever. I finally got my money about a month before I quit. I don't know if they ever realized their dream of becoming an international telecomm company, but if the way they treated their employees was any indication then they weren't looking up into the sky to dream them, they were face down in the toilet & preparing to flush. =-/

What happens when security devices are insecure? Choose the nuclear option

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Mark 85, re: punishment.

Exactly! I get sent to the office, principal tells me he'll speak to my father, then sends me back to class. Me worried? Not a bit.

My father was in the AirForce doing a job that had him hopping from one SAC base to another like a frog on a hot plate. His advice if the warning klaxons ever cranked up was "Kiss it goodbye & enjoy the fireworks!" was exactly what he told the school when they called.

<Whingey beurocrat>But how can you SAY that? Don't you love your child?</whingey bastard>

My father said (and I loved this) "If you think sticking your head up your ass will protect you one bit then have fun inhaling shit, just don't try convincing my son that joining you will do any fucking good."

Strangely enough I didn't get any more crap from my school after that. Perhaps they figured this "bad apple" hadn't fallen far from the tree. Oh WOE is ME! XD Hahahaha...

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At MonkeyCee, re: nuke plans.

I remember our disaster drills back in the day of "Duck & Cover". I always laughed in derrision & just went along with it to humour the teachers. When asked why I wasn't taking this stuff more seriously I simply pointed out that we were less than a mile from a military base on the Strategic Air Command (SAC) "we'll be one of the first targets" list. We were less than 100 miles from the main SAC airbase that would get *multiple* missile strikes, & that there were enough strategic civilian & military targets of opportunity in the area. "When the dust settles & the survivors scuttle from the rubble, the cockroaches will feast on our corpses. This area will be a glowing crater for the next million years or so. ''Duck & Cover'' won't do a damned thing." They called me a rather cynical little brat. I told them to stop drinking the government KoolAid & thinking a few meters of dirt/stone over your head would do a damn thing to protect you from the number of nuclear tipped weapons sure to fall on us like so many fists of god.

And people wonder why I distrust my government? I may be physically blind but even I can "see" the problems inherent in what my government tries to make me believe. =-|

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: What to do if the World is going to end

If a tavern owner quits for a while to do something else & then returns to his old profession, does that make him a RePublican?

*Ducks & runs like hell*

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Cocking up personal data

I just "love" it when my GP tells me it's time for me to get my eyes checked. I snicker "What for? I'm still blind." He huffs & tells me it's so they can check for diabetes retinopathy. "You don't have to check for that. I'm. Blind. Not merely legally so but completely so. There's no point in checking for eye damage, I can tell you without hesitation They Don't Fekkin' Work!" He insists, makes the optical appointment for me & snorts smugly. I go to the appointment on the arm of my Sighted Helper, Navigation Cane in my other hand, "blind shades" on my eyes, & check in. The lady at the counter asks if this is a joke. "Nope. I am totally blind & my GP refused to THINK about things before he forced me to keep this appointment. Feel free to kick his ass if you like. Give an extra one from me Please." She coughs, laughs, & has me sit in the proper chair. The optical doc comes in, takes one look, & asks dryly "Let me guess. Your GP is a moron?" YES! Yes he is! "Can you see *anything*?" Nope. "I'll make that fact *perfectly* clear in your file, Sir. Thank you for keeping your appointment, now be off & have a nice day." I thank him, leave, & my GP calls me a few days later for a follow up. Evidently the optical doc put in diplomatic terms "Your GP is a fucking moron" into my file & my GP wanted to whinge. I let him say his peace & asked him if he learned anything from this. "Yeah, never send my patients to that quack!"


I'd change GP but my insurance reps are even more blind than I am. =-\

5G is 'ready' once you redefine 'ready'... and then redefine 'reality'

Shadow Systems Silver badge

I'll wait for version 3 or later...

Never buy ver1.0 if you don't want to be the quality testing guinnea pig aka MS Win10.

Wait for ver2.0 so the bugs have been ironed out (at least the major ones) & the tech is mature enough to actually be in widespread use. As in there might actually be the promised network that uses the tech for you to connect to rather than it only being available inside the lobby of the store selling it.

Or wait for ver3+ so not only have the major bugs been squashed, most of the minor ones have been as well, there should be widespread adoption of the tech, and the price for it all will have dropped from Apple-levels of insanity to Tesco-cheap-as-chips level instead. That 5G phone might cost all of £50/€50 instead of the 10x/100x "new adopter/sucker" premium it started at.

Besides, while the networks CLAIM that 5G will improve coverage until it's ubiquitous the reality is that it's been HOW many years now & they've still not got 4G to cover us all: see the story about the gentleman that drove all over his State taking real world, on the ground, no bullshit readings of actual coverage & found that the carrier coverage map was not only a lie but a big fat bald faced utter bullshit clawed from Satan's arsehole lie. I'll believe 5G will have better coverage once they finish the 4G rollout they promised us back when it started. =-/

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Make them sound like RoboCows!

Imagine a robotic cow farting like a techno tuba & you'll never miss the approach (or applaud the leaving) of an e-car...

I'm sane, TheVoicesInMyHead swear it!

You. Shall. Not. Pass... word: Soon, you may be logging into websites using just your phone, face, fingerprint or token

Shadow Systems Silver badge

It's worse than you fear.

Currently if ThePowersThatBe want to get into your phone/computer & it's locked with a password, they can't force you to give up that password without a warrant. If that device is instead locked with merely a hardware keyfob then kiss your privacy goodbye. TPTB can't force you to divuldge something you know without a warrant, but "something you have" can be confiscated & used against you before you can scream for a lawyer. Putting the cat back in the bag afterwards is pointless, which is why you protect that password with your dying breath.

Civil servants 'Sir Humphrey' their way through grilling on UK.gov's digital transformation

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Bring back the crossbow...

I've got my dried frog pills, M&M's, Skittles, & JellyBabies. I put them in a large ZipLockBag, mix them all up, & just take a handfull of random goodness every now & then. I stopped adding the Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans after one too many times of finding a shite flavoured gob. *Comical cat gag noises*

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Bring back the crossbow...

Ask a direct question. Get a weasley worded, mealy mouthed, non-answer anser? Shoot the fucker through the head. Turn to that person's next in command. Lather, rinse, repeat until you get an actual, honest, straight answer. No marketing buzzword bingo bullshit, no misdirection, no evasions. Either a straight answer or a crossbow bolt in the face.

Sure we'd go through more folks that way, but they would also learn very quickly to stop fekkin' around.


I'll get my coat, it's the one with the pockets full of my medications...

Who likes role-playing? OK, OpenAI puts on its robe and wizard hat... Game bot code released, plus Apple robo-car project blow, and more

Shadow Systems Silver badge

I'll believe it when I see it.

Unless they've changed since I could still see to play them, the typical MMORPG was nothing more than a "kill it, loot it, go buy better stuff, lather-rinse-repeat" style grind. Sure there were NPC's you could interact with to try & make it NOT so bloody & bloody minded, but the bulk of it was of the kill-it-and-sell-it variety. Of course an AI would excell at that, there's not much for it to do.

My typical D&D session was full of complex problem solving, diplomatic conflict avoidance/resolution, a giant treasure hunt, puzzle solving, poetry deciphering, "how can I steal the dragon's hoarde without getting myself eaten?" style of adventure. There was so many different probability tree branches, things going wrong that you had to crisis resolve on the fly, try to outsmart the DM so you could live to enjoy your winnings, madcap of action that I doubt any AI could ever make a decent show of itself.

I'll believe an AI can play D&D (versus a mere MMORPG) when I can watch it tackle a random module & survive the first time through. Our characters often didn't get ressurrected so why should the AI enjoy it either? "Bob the Barbarian" only got one try, after he died we had to Roll A New Character ("HA! You died! RANC! Muh Hahahahaha!") & come back as Jill the Ranger or Vicki the Viking or Sammy the Psycho Sorcerer.

Your typical MMORPG is a simple thing the AI can thrive in by simply killing everything not itself. Your typical D&D adventure would end very shortly if the AI killed off that first NPC whose job it was to tell them what their quest was in the first place. If I or my DM's were any indication then such a "kill 'em all" player tended to die thirty seconds after slaughtering the kindly old man whom wanted to hire the party to find his kidnapped daughter. See how the AI's job isn't an easy one? And *that* is why I don't believe AI's can play D&D.

UK banking was struck by one IT fail every day for most of 2018

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Cashless society?

I meant situations like the bank going TITSUP, their ATM's crashing, or any other situation where the bank is technicly unable to give you money.

If the bank "just doesn't feel like it" then that's when I'll drive my car through the front windows, plow through the lobby, & park it on the chest of the cockwomble that refused to give me my money. Sure I could just call the police & let the law take care of it, but where's the fun in that? =-)p

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Cashless society?

Hastened along by the banks absconding with our money & not letting us have any of it? I think I like the mattress idea, at least that way I can get to my money. Ok, so I won't have an ATM card to swipe everywhere, but then neither will I be beholden to some idiot financial institution that thinks "account security" is an evil to be avoided at all costs. (Gives TheFinger to my old bank that had their picture taken to go beside the definition of "cockwomble" in the dictionary.)

Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging?

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: International plugs

I learned early on that if there was a power outlet available at all it would invariably be at the farthest point in the room. The fewer the outlets the more dire the need to use it. So my laptop bag began including an extra long extension cord & an ultra thin power strip. I could plug in the lead & tape it down until it reached my chair, plug in the power strip to give myself four to six outlets, & conveniently charge/power anything I desired. The first time my coworkers saw the arrangement in my bag they scoffed, only to see the wisdom come conference room meeting time with outlets on the far side of the room. Suddenly everyone else was doing it too. This had a side benefit of not blocking the outlets with wall warts that do their utmost to thwart anyone else's ability to use an outlet.

Buy yourself an extra long extension cord & a slim 4~6 outlet power strip. You can now power all your devices without much fuss.

MPs tear 'naive' British Army a new one over Capita recruitment farce

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Reducing time and cost

Send the recruiting teams out after Crapita executives to start with, call it on the job training, & keep at it until everyone at the shithole is now a soldier. Next comes all the executives at FaceBook, Microsoft, Apple, Google, Comcast, BT, Vodaphone, TalkTalk, & every other shitty corporation that needs to have its head lopped off. Then comes insurance premium adjusters, used car salesmen, PPI soliciters, lawyers, lobbiests, and the politicians themselves. French street mimes might be next if we're feeling grumpy. Clowns & "phone zombies" (the ones that walk down a street staring at their phone but never where they're bloody going; Pokemon players in particular) amblers, & everyone from Sales&Marketing...

Foldables herald the beginning of the end of the smartphone fetish

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Foldable? I've already got that.

Back when I could still see to use them at all, I mostly used the Thomas Brothers brand maps in the spiral bound ledger format. I had ones in my glove box for most of North America & could figure out where I might be fairly quickly. No faffing about tapping on a GPS SatNav screen trying to figure out WTF was going on, just grab the book for the State I was in, find the nearest street signs, & find that intersection in the index. I could be back on the road & on my way in less time than it took to get the SatNav to accept my fat fingered fumbling attempts to get the UI to understand the difference between Boulevard, Court, CulDeSac, Drive, Expressway, Highway, Lane, Parkway, or Street.

"Look you stupid bastard, I want Main Street. STREET. Not Parkway, not Freeway, not bloody CulDeFekkinSac. STREET! GAH!"

Scroll down the index until I found the Street, flip to the right page, follow the street until I found the coordinates for the intersection, find it, note how to get to where I wanted to be, & get my arse back on the road. I instilled the same paper map reliance on my son when teaching him to drive. "You can't rely on the GPS having a signal or giving you the right directions even if it has a perfect signal. You'll never have to wonder if the paper map insists you are NOT currently sitting in the middle of a bloody lake because it thinks you're somewhere you're not." He has a smartphone & uses Google Maps a lot of the time, but he *also* takes public transportation most of the time & thus can't carry a trunk full of paper maps with him everywhere he goes.

I agree with you that we're getting old & won't be relevant much longer, but not *all* the younger generations are empty headed smartphone addicts that would become instantly lost if the battery in it died. (He'd at least know enough how to find a map & read it to get home!) =-)p

Now get off my unmapped lawn! I've got Pokemon players to harrass! =-D

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Foldable? I've already got that.

We've had it for decades. They're called "Flip Phones". What's that, you mean a foldable *SmartPhone*? Yeah, it's about time your smarty pants $1K super snazzy no headphone jack havin no removeable battery usin no SD card slot sportin pseudo-smart phone can do what my $40 "dumb" phone can do, huh?


I'll get my coat, it's the one with the asbestos lining & the Nomex insulation...

Not so smart after all: A techie's tale of toilet noise horror

Shadow Systems Silver badge

*Reaches for the MindBleach*

*Sticks head in the keg & begins to inhale*

There's no 'My' in Office, Microsoft insists with new productivity hub

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Re: No 'My' in Office?

There's no 'my' in MS Office which is fine because none of my documents will ever go into an MS Office either.

MS: putting the bloat in "Fuck your hard drive free space, go buy a bigger one" software since just after hard drives were "a thing".

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

Shadow Systems Silver badge

At Dave K, re: give them a laugh.

I was friends with a young lady whom was in drama class during my sophomore year. She complained that she had to memorize "some shit in Latin" & I asked to see the script. She handed it over, I read the title of the Latin bit, & promptly started laughing my ass off. The script writer had translated Doctor Seuss' "The Cat in the Hat"... =-D

U wot, m8? OMG SMS is back from dead

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: You Can Phone Me Or SMS me; Period

Yet another reason to use a dumb/feature phone rather than a supposedly smart one. Ok so we can't run apps, can't run the app of the month, can't look up cat videos, can't access online maps, can't check our email, & a whole lot of other "useful" stuff, but that ALSO means Google, FB, et alia can't slurp up our PII, we don't waste time watching cat videos on our phone (we watch those at home!), & have phones with batteries that last a week or more at a time.

You're on an Apple, want to connect to a group of friends on other Apple, Android, Sailfish, Tyson, Windows, & other OS based phones, so which messaging app do you use that *all* of them will also be able to access? Answer: None. Because the only cross platform service that all of those disperate devices can use is plain old SMS. Plain old text, no scripts, no fancy fonts, no colours, no fekkin emoji, just plain. text.

I'll cast my vote for plain SMS. You can cream your pants over the app-do-jour, I'll stick with a service that Just Works.

AGM X3: Swoon at this rugged interloper mobe then throw it on the floor to impress your mates

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Did I miss the part about the A3?

I can only find the very short blurb about the price & quad speakers. Was there a section specific to reviewing the A3 that I missed? I'd like to know more! =-D

Unearthed emails could be smoking gun in epic GDPR battle: Google, adtech giants 'know they break Euro privacy law'

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Death to advertisers!

It should be an instant death sentance for advertisers, advertising executives, "adtech" purveyers, & everyone in sales/marketing. No slap on the wrist, no life imprisonment, just fling the bodies into space & use the giant ocean of corpses as an anti meteor shield. They would finally become useful to Humanity that way.


Germany tells America to verpissen off over Huawei 5G cyber-Sicherheitsbedenken

Shadow Systems Silver badge

I most vehemently disagree.

"The anti-Huawei rhetoric emanating from Washington DC, which has been unquestioningly accepted within the United States..." is not entirely true. Many of us don't trust our government not to lie to us, stab us in the back, & do everything possible to fuck the rest of the world over as a form of protectionism/corporate greed. Not only do I *not* swallow the line about the company being bad, I would *go out of my way* to buy their products in a general TheFinger to Trump.

You can scream about bad actors in their company sucking up to their political masters & opening the hardware/software for corruption/spying all you want, but given we can hold up a mirad of sources proving the U.S. government guilty of the very same thing, "pot meet kettle" is a fine way of saying ShutTheFuckUp.

Windows Subsystem for Linux adds pop to release, SAC-T sacked, crypto-jacking apps: It's Microsoft's week

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Re: Crypto mning is not optional tomorrow?

"To be safe, your new operating system must not allow any apps, programs or browsers to run or any files to be opened."

You've just described Windows 10! =-D

*Ducks & runs for safety*

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

Shadow Systems Silver badge

MiniDisk? Bah!

Wax cylinders is where it's at! =-D

Why does that website take forever to load? Clues: Three syllables, starts with a J, rhymes with crock of sh...

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Your JS can KMMFA.

Don't like it? Tough fuck. You only have yourselves to blame.

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

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Re: Doctor Ruth Westheimer

She'd give a whole new meaning to screwdriver. ;-D

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Re: Doctor Who

At TRT, re: gravitas.

Careful what you wish for, I hear Doctor Ruth Westheimer would like the job.


Oh dear, Lads: Spam marketing bosses banned from forming UK firms for clobbering folk with 500k calls and texts

Shadow Systems Silver badge

Death to telemarketers! =-D

No fines, no jail/prison time, no slap on the wrist, just a short walk to the hangman's noose & a dance beneath the platform.

Next comes insurance premium adjusters, corporate executives, and used car salesmen...


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