Posts by Blubster

Re: Ahhh

I love the sound of deskbound middle-aged virgins complaining about the actress they'll be masturbating over later in the year.

The Doctor's new cumpanion?

Tits

We need more tits...

How.....

Do we know this woman is still a virgin because she's got Ed Zachary disease? i.e. Her face is Ed Zachary like her arse.

No photos to check?

@Steve Evans

"Our little satellite planet? No. The Moon orbits planet Earth, so it is a moon. Planets orbit the sun. Moons orbit planets. Once it was blown out of earth orbit and shot out across space it still wasn't orbiting the sun, so I guess it became a sodding great asteroid.

Still not a planet."

They ought to set you on as main script-writer for the new series because of your insight into planetary (sorry asteroidal) propulsion systems.

All well and good

But what are they like as bloody phones? Can you actually make and receive calls with them with decent reception?

It's a phone for fuck's sake - te-le-phone. An instrument that converts voice and other sound signals into a form that can be transmitted to remote locations and that receives and reconverts waves into sound signals. They don't need fancy additions and gadgets IMO - talk about over-egging the pudding.

@the-it-slayer

"Fortunately, designers like Jon inspire to create products that anyone can use and make them as practical as possible. "

Even these typical fanbois.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KGrXZ5pWko

`So I can throw away my Smart Card... `

No - you've got somewhere to swipe it now. An ass-swipe you might say.

How soon

will it be before Apple claim to have a patent on the technology?

Rise of the machines

This is the beginning of the word-wide domination of computers over mankind. This car clearly made an attempt to kill the car's occupant but it's limited (for now) intelligence and computing capacity made it fail in the attempt. Connecting it to an analyser merely allowed it to access another PC and no doubt the interweb so that it could learn from it's mistake.

Trevor Pot wants to watch his step from now on.

If worst comes to the worst

You could always use the iPad as a chopping board.

"he lost 16 pounds as a result of the frozen Coors diet"

Probably gave him the shits.

As the Profanisaurus might say "After I ate all that Coors Lite I could shit through a sponge"

@:It's called Android Jelly bean

Hopefully the one after that will be called KitKat ... I like KitKats. Hmmmm KitKats....

Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Forty-two

They wouldn't really

have the TAR|DIS as a woman would they? I mean, how would they manage to park it?

Absolute shite!

"Customer service is a big focus for us and we know there is still more work to do if we are to get to where we want to be – delivering a fantastic customer experience every time – but we've come a long way and our customers are seeing the results."

My arse.

I repeat - absolute shite

IT? In Cheshire?

Bloody 'ell - they still point at aeroplanes over there.

P p p p p p

Pack up a Penguin

Hope to christ

She doesn't go swimming, she'll sink like a stone with that arse.

"firemen didn't beat around the bush"

Fucking classic -

(It's okay to say fuck now because that judge said so)

Need to get stronger glasses

"It added that the agreement will "facilitate Acer" for five years" - thought that said .... will fellate Acer for five years.....

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...................

There simply isn't enough energy in the sun to send a killer fireball 93 million miles to destroy Earth ... even at their worst, the sun's flares are not physically capable of destroying Earth.

Famous last words?

No room

To sit down never mind to get your dick out for a bit of self pollution.

Local police chief Franco Fuda....

Wants sacking.

Broadcast television is 75 years old today

So are most of the programmes

Don't trust 'em

It's a trap! After everyone's changed to, and become reliant on the ALAC system, Apple will introduce licensing charges and rip us all off again.

My cell, my rules

Heavily Tattooed Thug: "Today we're going to play mummies and daddies, which part do you want to play?"

Josh Holly: "I'd like to play Daddy please"

HTT: "Okay - come over here and suck mummy's cock"

So....

That's what they mean by donkey riding?

Call that a news item?

Where's the blatant photographs of the tiny antipodean pop princess dotted liberally around the article?

@"...the lack of a native email client..."

"The PlayBook (Yes, I have one) can't even reliably access Gmail's *webmail* GUI. Seriously. Clicky-clicky no worky-worky."

No native calendar nor can it synchronise with Outlook.

Bob Crow and the RMT?

Fuck 'em

On the plus side

He could paint his ball-bag orange and pass it off as a pumpkin to go trick or treating to raise the money.

@Andus McCoatover

Sounds like your suffering the same problem as the `Grand Old Duke of York` - neither up nor down.

Still...

No sign of an integrated email client or calendar in the last update.

@ What causes gravity?

"Mass causes gravity; I'm pretty sure we know that one already.

The real question then becomes what causes mass?"

In my case it's a surfeit of pork pies.

Re: Re: Oh Yeah

"'Self-loving' doesn't count. Not even when you sit on your hand for 20 minutes first."

So *that's* where I've being going wrong all these years.

Does this mean

I can finally set up my geese selling website - gaggle.com?

Technology.........

Ain't it wonderful.

All these latest FreeView boxes all nice and shiny, crammed with with the latest must-have features. But for what?

What's really worth watching on Freeview - HD or otherwise?..........................anybody?...............

Have one's arse in one's hand

Had me pissing myself.

euph. To be in a bad mood, to have a strop on.

'Arnie's back!.... and this time he's got his arse in his hand!' (Advertising poster for Terminator 3)

@What a pain in the arse

What did you expect with a name like RIM?

It's not the cough...

"He was buried in a one piece aluminium unibody coiffin, with no visible latches or hinges, round corners and a white apple on top of its one picce glass top (:"

Nah.. that won't work unless you hold it properly.

No go

Haven't got McAfee and Firefox STILL crashes (four times now since the update.)

"To be honest..

, I find the whole charade rather entertaining and have taken to sauntering over to the Trafford Centre come launch day, grabbing a cup of coffee and a sticky bun, pulling up a chair and making fun of the twerps lined up outside the Apple Store opposite.

Yes, I know it’s wrong,"

-- but it feels SO right..

Had to smile about this

No, not at the unfortunates who are losing their jobs. It reminds me of some of the poor impersonators who attempting a Welsh accent sound like they come from India so when you ring the VM `helpline` you won't know if you're through to Swansea or Bombay central.

At least you could understand the Scousers (more or less. :o) )

@I work in Swindon, alas #

Never mind eh? As a consolation you are twinned with Disneyland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNAOkJQg8q4