* Posts by Stratman

665 posts • joined 25 Jul 2007

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Forget Bruce Willis, Earth's atmosphere is our best defense against meteorites

Stratman

Re: So what happened to the 12,000 ton Chelyabinsk meteorite?

Some will be found on Ebay too.

About 20,000 tons of it, if Ebay runs true to form.

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Denied: Uber's request to skip to UK Supreme Court to appeal workers' rights

Stratman

Of course their request has been refused

Allowing Uber to skip the Court of Appeal and go straight to the Supreme Court would set an alarming precedent for the legal industry, effectively rendering an entire layer of troughs redundant and their snouts homeless.

Ain't gonna happen.

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Fear not, driverless car devs, UK.gov won't force you to write Trolley Problem solutions

Stratman

More than one in the car?

Which one is the driver?

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Stratman

Re: "saying less words"

Indeed.

Less:- not as much

Fewer:- not as many

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Uber loses appeal against employment rights for workers

Stratman

How far

down the "this person works for you and is staff" road is it necessary to go before employer's National Insurance needs to be paid?

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Giza geezers' muon-geyser visor reveals Great Pyramid's hidden void surpriser

Stratman

Or an incredibly sharp razor blade

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USB stick found in West London contained Heathrow security data

Stratman

The finder

was so concerned with national security he took the stick straight to the Sunday Mirror.

I suppose they pay better than the Police.

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Biz quadruples value overnight by adding 'Blockchain' to name

Stratman

Working on a Blockchain Gang

Sorry Sam

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Man: Just 18 Bitcoin babies and my home is yours

Stratman

Re: "Today, that single bitcoin is valued upwards of $2,200, Fortune noted in March."

That could happen, but over the last 12 months Bitcoin has soared in value. So you could make more money.

I believe the same was said of tulips in days of yore.

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Beach, please... Billionaire VC finally opens way to waves

Stratman

Re: Who's got an amp that goes up to 11?

11? Pfft. My Peavey goes to 12 on every knob. It's even got two volume controls, for when one just isn't enough.

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Stratman

Re: How come?

.............................

"How come that every time you come across such a huge asshole it turns out that he is filthy rich?"

..............................

As my dear old mum used to say in her broad Irish accent; "You can tell what God thinks of money, look at the people he gives it to".

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Amazon told to repay €250m in 'unfair state aid' from Luxembourg

Stratman

Amazon told to repay €250m

I bet it won't be next day delivery

6
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Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

Stratman

Re: 960 Ohms

"Ah, but did it have a gold band for 5% tolerance?

I'm guessing an electric eel annoyed enough to zap is extremely intolerant.

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'Driverless' lorry platoons will soon be on a motorway near you

Stratman

So the speed of the convoy will be determined by the lead truck.

Much like it is now.

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IT worker used access privs to steal £1m from Scottish city council

Stratman

One such fake payment, for £17,912, was labelled as being for "Scottish Fuels".

That's a lot to spend on Bucky and Special Brew, even for a Jock.

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Stratman

Re: Ceartas!

Mary Doll

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US Navy suffers third ship collision this year

Stratman

From Twitter

HaveIGotNewsForYou‏Verified account @haveigotnews 5h5 hours ago

As search continues after US ship/oil tanker collision, President Trump says his thoughts are with the oil companies at this difficult time.

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Trapped under ice with no oxygen for months, goldfish turn to booze. And can you blame 'em?

Stratman

"For those of you reading this..."

Boozy ice cubes?

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Forget Iran and North Korea. Now there's another uranium source

Stratman

Centrifugal force?

Whenever I read about centrifugal force throwing stuff outwards, I find myself wondering if the person in question knows as much as they claim.

In this particular case, 'centrifugal force' would imply a black hole pushing matter outwards away from itself.

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Thought your divorce was ugly? Bloke sues wife for wiretapping – 'cos she read his email

Stratman

Shouldn't her lawyer have some explaining to to to his professional body?

I would have thought making use of privileged information, namely the exchanges between her husband and his lawyer, would be high on the list of things lawyers shouldn't really be doing.

1
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Fox News fabricated faux news with Donald Trump, lawsuit claims

Stratman

There must be a reason that the crap rather than the cream rises to the top in politics

Politics at that level is a sewer. Ask any sewer worker what floats down there.

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Burglary, robbery, kidnapping and a shoot-out over… a domain name?!

Stratman

If the alleged 'intermediary'..

..was running away, why was it lawful for him to be shot?

1
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Happy 4th of July: Norks tests another missile

Stratman

Should I be surprised

that NK's missiles don't seem to suffer 'unusual software anomalies' quite soon after lift off?

1
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Constant work makes the kilo walk the Planck

Stratman

Something puzzling me

To measure something with an accuracy of 13 parts per billion, how accurate do the parameters used to make the measurement have to be?

I'm thinking of the current in the current balance for instance. Is it possible to measure a current to a sufficient accuracy? Or the velocity of a moving coil in a known magnetic field. How accurately is it possible to measure both the coil's velocity and the magnitude of the field?

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Talk about cutting-edge technology! Boffins fire world's sharpest laser

Stratman

Re: Of course the real question

"We're gonna need a more stable shark"

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In touching tribute to Samsung Note 7, fidget spinners burst in flames

Stratman

Spinny things with loudspeakers?

The Doppler effect must be wonderful, with everything sounding like Edith Piaf.

I wonder what Donald Leslie would have made of them?

9
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EU regulators gearing up to slap Google with €1bn fine – reports

Stratman

Re: Chump change to Google. @Anonymous Fuckwit

To put it in perspective, it's more than their tax rate.

11
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We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Stratman

"The universe is made up of about 23 per cent dark matter and 72 per cent dark energy"

Is it. Is it really.

4
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Class clowns literally classless: Harvard axes meme-flinging morons

Stratman

Re: "Has Jessica Zhang never seen a Jimmy Carr stand-up video?"

The only time I ever laughed at Jimmy Carr was when the taxman came a-calling.

9
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'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

Stratman

Never pass up an opportunity to link

Dilbert

11
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Ad watchdog bites Plusnet over 'unintelligible' radio ads

Stratman

I suppose it's the audio equivalent of

the squashed up, fine lined font over a fussy background they all use on television to prevent you reading the legal stuff they don't want you to know.

0
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Gravitational waves permanently change spacetime, say astroboffins

Stratman

Re: “orphan memory”

I was going to post the same thing but as ever, too slow.

Just reading the article and ignoring specific references to gravitation, it really does sound like an apologist for homeopathy desperately trying to convince the world he's a real doctor.

2
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Sysadmin 'trashed old bosses' Oracle database with ticking logic bomb'

Stratman

Re: Conversion?

Only a judge and jury could say for sure. Lawyers could argue over it for years at somebody else's expanse.

17
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User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Stratman

Re: jam

I was half expecting a "Where's the 'any' key?"...

1
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Cold callers illegally sold Aussie farmers 1,700 years worth of printer ink

Stratman

Re: It's not a new scam

Any excuse to link Dilbert

2
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US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

Stratman

Really silly question

What is the phone in the picture please?

It looks the right size and has non-pointy corners to catch in my pocket

1
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Europe to launch legal action against countries over diesel emissions cheating

Stratman

Why do I keep thinking that VW et al actually met the requirements laid down by the EU, namely passing the required tests?

It's not VW's fault the regulations were badly framed. They said "Your cars must pass these tests" and they did.

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Why your gigabit broadband lags like hell – blame Intel's chipset

Stratman

From the original article

Every couple of seconds or so, a high-priority maintenance task runs and it winds up momentarily hogging the processor

Replace momentarily with perpetually and you've got Windows 10.

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Stratman

Some people need toilet paper bearing instructions in large print...

Media Studies Degree. Please take one?

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Hitler's wife's lovely lilac knickers fetch £2,900 at auction

Stratman

Are E and B

the German equivalent of C and A?

So she knows which way round to wear them.

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Tesco Bank limits online transactions after fraud hits thousands

Stratman
Coat

Tesco bank accounts...

...can now be found in the frozen aisle.

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Cynical Apple gouges UK with 20 per cent price hike

Stratman

The more Apple raise their prices

the more money I save.

Yippee

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Meet the slimeballs who are openly sabotaging Virgin Media

Stratman

Wot, no garlic?

Snails need garlic.

2
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Samsung to Galaxy Note 7 users: Turn it off. Now

Stratman

BBC News

are reporting Samsung have ceased production of the Galaxy Note 7

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Should Computer Misuse Act offences committed in UK be prosecuted in UK?

Stratman

If another country is volunteering to cough up the £50k a year it costs to feed and water a crim, I say "Thanks very much, would you like some more?"

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The law is an ass: Mooning banned at arse end of the world

Stratman
Paris Hilton

Re: Banning "obscene songs or ballads"

The Barmy Army will be in the dock on the next England tour down there then, assuming they give a rendition or two of the Kylie song

0
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Star Trek's Enterprise turns 50 and still no sign of a warp drive. Sigh

Stratman

Re: EmDrive is an impossible idea?

Cannae Inc.? Cannea? Cannae?

Scotty has spoken.

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NBA's Golden State Warriors sued for 'mic snooping' mobile app

Stratman

Re: What's next...?

A twelve inch with cheesy crust?

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Stratman

Useful rule of thumb

If you're not paying for the product, you are the product

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