* Posts by Little Mouse

1444 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Dec 2014

Low-end notebook, rocking horse shit or hen's teeth

Little Mouse

What's the Register coming to?

Where's the once-obligatory Weee Netbook Girl photo?

Did everyone grow up or leave or something? Oh...

The sharks of AI will attack expensive and scarce workers faster than they eat drivers

Little Mouse

Got any spare dictaphones?

Check out "The Raw Shark Texts" if you need advice defeating conceptual AI sharks.

The state of today's machine learning: Short, wide, deep but not high

Little Mouse

"Remember that kid...?"

Erm... This is the Register.

"That kid" is probably reading your article right now.

Top of the bots: This AI isn't a cold, cruel killing machine – it's a pop music hit machine

Little Mouse

Call that music?

Can an AI throw a TV out of a hotel window? Or drive a car into a swimming pool?

I thought not. Now get off my lawn.

The Reg seeks online community manager

Little Mouse

Digital Ninja?

Well, at least we're not calling them Gurus anymore, so that's progress.

& wtf is a Flipboard?

'Extra-supermoon' to appear next week

Little Mouse

Re: Here's one I prepared earlier

Viz Top Tip:

When taking your photo, hold up a ruler, or maybe a 50p piece, to give an idea of scale.

Unstoppable Huawei draws level with Apple

Little Mouse

There are no constants in this world.

The older I get, the more everything around me seems to change.

I'm off for a Toblerone to cheer myself up.

We're going to have to start making changes or the adults will do it for us

Little Mouse

Re: Ok, so...

"Every line of source code should begin with six spaces"

Nononononono. Every line of source code should begin with a number. As in:

10 PRINT "(.Y.)"

20 GOTO 10

30 REM Happy days....

GoPro revenues skydive

Little Mouse

Re: The market is probably getting saturated

And saturation isn't their only problem - Go Pros typically command a premium price, but there are some pretty decent alternatives available from other producers these days for less than half the price.

Twitterstorm erupts over suspected murder of record-breaking earthworm

Little Mouse

Conspiracy Theory #52

Apple had him killed so they could add him to their range of animal skin watch straps just like they did with Cecil the Lion

Little Mouse

15.7 inches?

Flaccid, or at full stretch?

Get that trash out of your cache

Little Mouse

Hard to say for sure - I barely made it to the end of the 2nd sentence...

Pluck-filled platter-stuff: Bold disk drive makers fatten up

Little Mouse

Huh?

Am I missing something really obvious?

How is a double-height drive that gives less than double capacity better than two industry-standard drives, one atop the other?

Hell desk thought PC fire report was a first-day-on-the-job prank

Little Mouse

Re: Can I turn it on? It's under 6 inches of water....

Even with everything off the floor, I've seen the contents if a machine room written off after a flood from above, pouring through the ceiling.

Nature will always find a way...

Swedes ban camera spy-drones for anything but crime fighting

Little Mouse

Re: outlaws

You are "The Sphinx", and I claim my £5.

Copyright zealots FAST to pursue 'far greater' fines for historic piracy

Little Mouse

Re: How will they demonstrate historic loss?

I'm guessing that FAST will pluck some numbers out of nowhere, and it will be up to you to prove them wrong.

Isn't it usually the case with FAST "investigations" that the onus seems to be on the accused to prove that they did purchase the necessary licences, and not the other way around?

Quite how that sits alongside our current justice system is beyond me, but it seems to have worked out just dandy for them in the past.

Probe boffins: Two balls deep in Uranus's ring

Little Mouse

Re: That may be for a while in this financial climate

they renamed it Urectum

I heard it was "Boom-HO-lay"

May blocked plans to bring in more Indian IT workers – Vince Cable

Little Mouse

I am the internet. I bring you the rantings of angry children.

Sextortion on the internet: Our man refuses to lie down and take it

Little Mouse

"They're not smoke. They're dry ice."

Rage-making, anxiety-inducing tech distributors: An ode

Little Mouse

Estate agents, car showrooms, employment agencies...

Disties may be in a different market, but in general their business is to sell <insert-product-here> at the best price they can get.

Will the businesses adapt? They probably don't care. If they can't shift IT stock any more they'll just shut the shop and move on to selling something else.

Device-as-a-Service to make life simple? Nope

Little Mouse

On the plus side...

...I haven't heard the phrase Bring-Your-Own-Device for ages now.

Is it officially dead?

What’s that Sooty? You want a girlfriend?

Little Mouse

I'd recommend Geoff Tibbal's "The Secret Life Of Sooty" for anyone wanting the behind the scenes lowdown on our favourite furry friends.

If you can find a copy anyway. It's a few years old now.

Before Bitcoin, digital cash was called Beenz – all that's left is a T-shirt

Little Mouse

OGC

The ill-thought-out OGC logo of six or so years ago gets my vote every time.

I'm smiling just thinking about it.

That's cold: This is how our boss told us our jobs are at risk, staffers claim

Little Mouse

Re: 'Welcome to Dumpsville'

Or:

"Let me put it this way. There's no 'U' in Team."

Narcissist Heidi Powell wants her dot-com and she wants it now, now, NOW!

Little Mouse

Precedent?

Didn't Mike Tyson (the famous one) do exactly the same thing a few years ago? How did that work out?

Earliest ever recording of computer-generated music is restored

Little Mouse

Look Around You...just Look Around You.

Not "Little Mouse" ???!

Well, I'm not changing my handle to "God Save the King", that's for damned sure...

Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

Little Mouse

Re: Lethal 4-hour-erection?

Maybe if you just got bitten by one of the baby spiders?

A three-hour non-lethal stiffy wouldn't be so bad.

Pluto's emitting X-rays, and NASA doesn't quite know how

Little Mouse

Re: There was nothing in my horoscope about this this morning.

Capricorns? Skeptical? I doubt that somehow. Show me the proof. Etc etc.

Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

Little Mouse

It'll never catch on

A bag? Made of paper?

Madness.

Italian scientists use fluorescent box to arouse sexually indifferent men

Little Mouse

Even better - set up one of those lights and a couple of mirrors in a little booth to create a concentrated runaway reaction.

Bingo! You've just invented the orgasmatron.

Hacker and chums jailed over gold bullion hack, track 'n' grab scam

Little Mouse
Facepalm

The toilet cistern?

Because the police would never think to look there...

Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

Little Mouse

More likely he'll slap four wheels on one and attempt to drive it to Brighton, where he, Foggy & Clegg will be unable to stop it going over the end of the pier.

Much hilarity will ensue.

Little Mouse

Sad Times

I'm still getting over the upset of The Goodies moving to ITV.

UK Science Museum will reconsider its 'sexist' brain quiz

Little Mouse

Re: Obligatory sexist brain joke

Or how about Smith & Jones' observation about why mens brains are heavier...

"More dense."

Microsoft thinks time crystals may be viable after all

Little Mouse

Re: Buh?

I think they're basically saying that Uri Geller has been right all along...

Magic crystals. Crikey.

Hololens for biz shocker: Surprisingly, it doesn't totally suck

Little Mouse

Re: My company has one

I'd not considered the focussing issue before.

For run-of-the-mill 3D viewing, eg Imax, 3D-TV, Cardboard-style VR headsets, etc, your eyes are focussed on a physical screen (which in the case of headsets is effectively feet, not cm, away due to the use of lenses). Images may appear to be closer or further away than the screen, but your eyes remain focused at just the one distance. Confusing for the brain and unpleasant on the stomach (in my case anyway).

How does that even work with AR?

You could be looking at a physical object 10 metres away, and an identical virtual object right next to it. But if the focussing plane of the headset is only 3m away, what do you actually see? Can you only have one of the objects in focus even though they are the "same" distance away?

I'm feeling ill just thinking about it.

Little Mouse

But can it play...

Crysis Doom II?

Charging around the building laying waste to Revenants & Pain Elementals would be pretty awesome.

Google hover-drones to drop burritos on campus

Little Mouse

That's a job I'd enjoy

I'd dangle those burritos just out of reach...

Jump, students! Dance!

A nice long pub crawl is good for your health, if you stay on your feet

Little Mouse
Thumb Up

Re: Drink healthy and in moderation

You can get bottled beer with pictures of runners and mountain walkers on them, bottles of wine with bicycles on them, etc.

They're healthy? Right? Probably isotonic or something like that.

Scientists' sneaky smartphone software steals 3D printer designs

Little Mouse

Interesting but impractical

Reminds me of the CRT monitor "hack" of the last millennium. Because CRT pixels were lit up one at a time, the boffins involved showed that you could "see" what was on someone's out-of-sight screen just by recording and analysing the light levels in the same room.

Simple in principle, but required very fast sampling rates and a pretty high level of precision & accuracy.

Forget Khan and Klingons, Star Trek's greatest trick was simply surviving

Little Mouse
Headmaster

Re: proof read?

"...where others have gone boldly before..."

No split infinitive! What's the world coming to?

Australian geoboffin discovers 3.7 billion year old fossils after ice melts

Little Mouse

Missing information

Are they truly fossilized, or just dormant?

And how long and sharp are their teeth and claws?

Astronauts sequence DNA in space for the first time

Little Mouse
Boffin

Re: They took e coli into space????

Everyone knows that biological samples sent in to space look like green* lumpy jelly, and can wobble without external stimulus.

What else is there to know?

(*probably green - it's hard to tell in B&W)

China launches quantum satellite to test spooky action at a distance

Little Mouse
Boffin

A niche in time...

So, "transmission" between an entangled pair is instantaneous. And I can also package one half up and send it into space, where it will be moving at silly speeds making it effectively younger than the other...

Bingo! - I think I just invented quantum Resublimated Thiotimalene. Nobel prize here I come!

Ten-trillionths of your suntan comes from intergalactic photons

Little Mouse

Re: Pitiful

I hate it when that happens too, mostly because it means that I have to ponder the concept of photons losing energy. Do they slow down? Do they lose mass?

Damn you, relativistic physics!

Virgin Galactic wins US operator's licence for SpaceShipTwo

Little Mouse

Re: Space?

Time is definitely an issue for the Virgin Galactic program.

One thing the US space program taught us is that the public appetite for sub-orbital trips to space has a very limited shelf-life. I always felt a bit sorry for Alan Shepard in that respect.

Is Richard Brandon planning craft capable of higher or longer trips? Without them I fear this could be just a flash in the pan.

Pokémon Go tragedy strikes

Little Mouse

Re: Pokemon Gone? - If only...

What is this - bloody Groundhog Day?