* Posts by Little Mouse

886 posts • joined 12 Dec 2014

Page:

By Jove! Astroboffins spot 12 new spanking moons around Jupiter

Little Mouse

By Jove?

By Jupiter!

1
0

AR upstart Magic Leap reveals majorly late tech specs' tech specs

Little Mouse

Re: something that would be quite disorienting

Are words "real"?

Discuss.

2
0

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

Little Mouse

Re: Big Red Buttons are irresistible!

"Vas Corp Kal"?

6
0

Smash-hit game Fortnite is dangerous... for cheaters: Tools found laced with malware

Little Mouse

Re: Can't feel too upset about this

Cheats cheat in games because they need to feel and be seen as superior to the "losers".

Fair play, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

4
0

The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

Little Mouse

"Because it's pointless..."

Not from a marketing perspective, it's not. It's a design feature that's also a fad, and hence will date very quickly.

And in the fickle world of phone-fashion, that means lots of users will "need" to replace their crappy old Notch phones with newer, more modern-looking models.

28
2

HTC U12+: You said we should wait and review the retail product. Hate to break it to you, but...

Little Mouse

Deja Vu

Remember when all car ads from the 90's were the same? Just a long list of the optional features, that all the competitors also had? Air con! Central locking! Power steering! Electric windows! Yawn*

We've definitely reached that point now with phones.

*(These persisted for far too long despite a spot-on piss-take, possibly voiced by Hugh Laurie. "It has windows you can see through, and Doors, so you can get in and out...")

27
0

Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

Little Mouse

"The crash has caused much soul-searching in the emerging self-driving industry"

Have they found one yet?

Badum-TSH!

31
0

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Little Mouse

"Don't talk to the ATM..."

Does anyone else have to bite back the urge to say "Thank you" when taking their cash?

11
0

RoboCop-ter: Boffins build drone to pinpoint brutal thugs in crowds

Little Mouse

Re: False positives

"a group of people trained to evade ... detection"

You jest, but historically isn't this exactly how & why some Martial Arts came to be?

Hey - Martial Arts may have been outlawed, but no-one said anything about not learning to "dance".

1
0
Little Mouse

Statistics

So it can correctly identify 5 out of 6 hostile actions, but a more important statistic surely would be how many false-positives this system throws up.

I could easily build a system with the same success rate, but that also identified 5 out of 6 regular actions as hostile...

3
0

Capture your late-night handbrake turns with this 'autonomous' car-chasing camera drone

Little Mouse

Re: Stalker's wet dream

A panther that is positively pink? Think!

(Confession: For years I had no idea what they meant by "One hand only, truly original".)

5
0
Little Mouse

I'm curious - What do these devices do if they lose sight of said vehicle, and are also out of range of the controller?

Do they just keep on going? Try to return to default location? Or what?

4
0

Headless man found in lava’s embrace

Little Mouse

I've got the Looney Tunes theme stuck in my head now

Thanks for that, El Reg.

14
0

Toaster oven-sized boffin box bound for Mars to search for life

Little Mouse

Apparently a toaster-oven is a thing. I had to Google exactly what though.

About the size of a microwave, give or take.

<edit> oven, not electromagnetic radiation...

3
0

MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images

Little Mouse

DNA

"...an automatic deletion process – which happens for DNA..."

Really? The DNA situation used to be just as bad until nit all that long ago. When did things change?

2
0

Big bimmer bummer: Bavaria's BMW buggies battered by bad bugs

Little Mouse

Did you also ask them whether the indicators could be enabled?

11
1

Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

Little Mouse

Re: Really? This is bizarre.

When I visit, I use my credit card on the London tube. It works like a charm.

6
0

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Little Mouse

Re: We need some ...

In Oz...

Yes - I saw simlar pictoral "No squatting" signs there 20 years ago.

I very nearly liberated one for a souvenir, but figured it might be a bit too - erm - contaminated. Euwww.

3
0
Little Mouse

Re: We need some ...

Regardless of your opinion of Mr Dyson, the guy sure knows how to fold cardboard.

The therapeutic effects of deconstructing the packaging of one of his ball-hoover-thingummies shouldn't be underestimated.

I swear someone at his company must be a 10th Dan origami Zen grandmaster.

16
0

Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

Little Mouse

Re: Did I read that right...

I already don't trust my kettle. It's already figured out how to switch itself off. What will it do next?

Maybe I should hide the knife block.

27
0

NASA will send tiny helicopter to Mars

Little Mouse

Re: DRAMATIC MUSIC!!!

@MB - Let me guess - I bet you preferred Airwolf to Blue Thunder...?

4
0

Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

Little Mouse

Re: User interfaces in 2018:

The theme-tune to "Heidi"?

3
0

Virgin Media to chop 800 jobs in Wales call centre

Little Mouse

This might be my fault..

I cancelled my Virgin Media contract two weeks ago. I hope it wasn't me that pushed them over the edge.

17
0

ZX Spectrum reboot firm's shareholders demand current directors go

Little Mouse

Re: A Wide Spectrum of opinions

Hopefully the shareholders will be able to salvage something out of this mess. It'll be interesting to see how good a job they do from here on in. Despite everything, I'm still keen to see the company succeed and delivering as promised.

It's going to be interesting to see how the other half of the story drags out. Into the courts and beyond most likely, once the books have been opened and picked apart forensically. It's a good time to buy shares in popcorn, methinks.

2
1

Incredible Euro space agency data leak... just as planned: 1.7bn stars in our galaxy mapped

Little Mouse

Re: Exciting

I'm just looking forward to the Best. Screensaver. Ever.

3
0

Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

Little Mouse

When they do need to test for real, they should ask the nice people at Cern to send the satellites around the LHC in opposite directions at near light speed.

Kapow!

5
1

Whoops! Google forgot to delete Right To Be Forgotten search result

Little Mouse

Re: Sounds like many sites will publish enough hints

"We had a contractor at one of our sites last year"

In the UK at least, jobbing contractors are typically only on a week's notice and have minimal rights compared to their PAYE cousins.

Gross misconduct, or any whiff of a scandal, and they are often simply shown the door - no explanation necessary. Everyone knows why they've gone, but nothing is officially recorded.

1
0

Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

Little Mouse

"both would be disconnected if just one was pulled"

Only if both power cables had an identical length of cable betwixt the entanglement and the sockets.

If not, the one with the least slack would pop first.

26
1

CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

Little Mouse

Re: Deleting emails

"using the Deleted folder as an archive"

I've seen a contractor fired for "helpfully" emptying a user's Deleted Items without asking first.

Any sympathy I had for the guy was quickly quashed when I heard that, to avoid any blame, he'd told the upset user that he was me before leaving site. Twat.

20
0

Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Little Mouse

Re: Bah!

or maybe EastEnders...

Sorry.

3
0

FYI: AI tools can unmask anonymous coders from their binary executables

Little Mouse

Re: I'm surprised

"I'm surprised that it took this long"

Quite. IIRC something very similar was achieved in the world of regular books a few years back - reducing a given author's style to a digital fingerprint. A useful tool for proving the provenance of disputed authorship.

I see no real difference here.

1
0

Cyborg fined for riding train without valid ticket

Little Mouse

Lawyer logic

"the law had not kept pace with his client’s ideas""

On what planet could that be a valid defense?

Prisons are full of people who think the law shouldn't apply to them either.

5
0

10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10

Little Mouse

Re: REX LIES IN WAIT

I just recited the Clown/Ring-Master's "Roll up, roll up" intro to myself. Verbatim.

It's still stored away up there, unlike much of the French, Shakespeare, etc that I was actually trying to memorise at the time...

6
0
Little Mouse

Re: Gateway Drug

I had the whole unit sat on a metal sheet with the ram pack wedged tight with a piece of garden hose. It acted as a massive heat-sink and cured the wobble - Worked a treat. The design was from one of the many magazines - can't remember which one though.

And if you needed to copy games:

FAST

RAND USR 836

4
0

Oh honey! Oxfordshire abuzz with reports of a MEEELLION bees stolen

Little Mouse

Joke #2:

What kind of bees give milk?

1
0

Use of HTTPS among top sites is growing, but weirdly so is deprecated HTTP public key pinning

Little Mouse

I only just noticed...

El-Reg uses https:!

Holy crap - when did that happen?

9
0

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Little Mouse

Why am I picturing this "culturally sensitive remake" as starring Hammond, May & Clarkson?

8
0

Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

Little Mouse

Re: You're really lucky!

Slightly off-topic, but have you noticed in local news stories about really unlucky people who manage to suffer bizarre & unlikely combinations of being impaled/burned/blown up/run over etc, that they always say the same thing from their hospital beds?

"I'm the luckiest man alive."

31
0

Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Little Mouse

Re: Boil? Pah!

I'm a sprout fan too, but don't ever be tempted to make a sprout omelette.

It tasted fucking awful.

13
0

Frenchman comes eye to eye with horror toilet python

Little Mouse

Re: Called the fire brigade indeed...

A real Frenchman would have taunted it.

"Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!". Etc.

28
0

Whizzes' lithium-iron-oxide battery 'octuples' capacity on the cheap

Little Mouse

Re: Oh look, another one.

So how are you supposed to get funding to develop a prototype if you can't publish until after you've already got one?

I've already made a prototype. Only double the size (2*2*2), but also with eight times the capacity.

Now where's my money?

10
0

Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Little Mouse

The most potent drugs I ever got from my grandparents were mint imperials. <sigh>

29
0

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the data centre temp's delightful

Little Mouse

Top Tip:

BTW - If you need to quickly reduce the heat of a scorching machine room armed with nothing more than natural ventilation and all the desk fans you can lay your hands on, you get much quicker results if you set everything up to blow all the hot air out, rather than by trying to force lots of lovely cold air in.

I learned this the hard way, so you don't have to.

49
1

How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

Little Mouse

Re: I may have unbelievable news, but salt water is actually a very good conductor

If the string isn't actually required, then shirley this would work over a stream of piss.

The duration of the connection would only be limited by bladder capacity, and/or how long you could endure having a crocodile clip attached to your unmentionables. The quality of your aim might also be a factor.

This could be the next YouTube challenge...

10
0

Do you suffer from the shame of 'Scroll Jank'? Help is at your fingertips

Little Mouse

Scroll Jank?

That name wouldn't be out of place in an episode of The Mighty Boosh.

3
0

Toucan play that game: Talking toy bird hacked

Little Mouse

...any bird from the genus Bugeranus tickles my fancy.

3
0

O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent skunk's in bunches

Little Mouse

Re: Aaaaaaand...

I've hung mine up indoors.

Right next to my crystal meth advent calendar.

14
1

Car rental firms told: Tell your customers about in-car data slurps

Little Mouse

Re: I tend to stick

I try to cover myself against the typical scams, but still got caught out last year when I was billed me an extra 40 Euro on top of the quoted price because the car they issued me with was a diesel.

Apparently the helpful rental desk employee pointed this out to me in advance, and definitely offered me the chance to not throw money at them for no discernable benefit if I so wished. Anyway, I signed their contract, which clearly spelled out those particular terms, in Spanish, and No Further Correspondence Will Be Entered Into.

Screw you, Goldcar.

9
0

Drone collisions with airliners may not be fatal, US study suggests

Little Mouse

Re: UK Government playing fast and loose with facts?

The major flaw with the UK study is that they forgot to defrost the drone first...

57
0

Foil snack food bags make a decent Faraday cage, judge finds

Little Mouse

Re: "They're a lot like Cheetohs. Only better."

Twisties? Cheetohs?

Kneel before our Wotsits, Colonies!

68
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018