* Posts by Little Mouse

862 posts • joined 12 Dec 2014

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Incredible Euro space agency data leak... just as planned: 1.7bn stars in our galaxy mapped

Little Mouse

Re: Exciting

I'm just looking forward to the Best. Screensaver. Ever.

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Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

Little Mouse

When they do need to test for real, they should ask the nice people at Cern to send the satellites around the LHC in opposite directions at near light speed.

Kapow!

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Whoops! Google forgot to delete Right To Be Forgotten search result

Little Mouse

Re: Sounds like many sites will publish enough hints

"We had a contractor at one of our sites last year"

In the UK at least, jobbing contractors are typically only on a week's notice and have minimal rights compared to their PAYE cousins.

Gross misconduct, or any whiff of a scandal, and they are often simply shown the door - no explanation necessary. Everyone knows why they've gone, but nothing is officially recorded.

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Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

Little Mouse

"both would be disconnected if just one was pulled"

Only if both power cables had an identical length of cable betwixt the entanglement and the sockets.

If not, the one with the least slack would pop first.

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CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

Little Mouse

Re: Deleting emails

"using the Deleted folder as an archive"

I've seen a contractor fired for "helpfully" emptying a user's Deleted Items without asking first.

Any sympathy I had for the guy was quickly quashed when I heard that, to avoid any blame, he'd told the upset user that he was me before leaving site. Twat.

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Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Little Mouse

Re: Bah!

or maybe EastEnders...

Sorry.

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FYI: AI tools can unmask anonymous coders from their binary executables

Little Mouse

Re: I'm surprised

"I'm surprised that it took this long"

Quite. IIRC something very similar was achieved in the world of regular books a few years back - reducing a given author's style to a digital fingerprint. A useful tool for proving the provenance of disputed authorship.

I see no real difference here.

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Cyborg fined for riding train without valid ticket

Little Mouse

Lawyer logic

"the law had not kept pace with his client’s ideas""

On what planet could that be a valid defense?

Prisons are full of people who think the law shouldn't apply to them either.

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10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10

Little Mouse

Re: REX LIES IN WAIT

I just recited the Clown/Ring-Master's "Roll up, roll up" intro to myself. Verbatim.

It's still stored away up there, unlike much of the French, Shakespeare, etc that I was actually trying to memorise at the time...

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Little Mouse

Re: Gateway Drug

I had the whole unit sat on a metal sheet with the ram pack wedged tight with a piece of garden hose. It acted as a massive heat-sink and cured the wobble - Worked a treat. The design was from one of the many magazines - can't remember which one though.

And if you needed to copy games:

FAST

RAND USR 836

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Oh honey! Oxfordshire abuzz with reports of a MEEELLION bees stolen

Little Mouse

Joke #2:

What kind of bees give milk?

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Use of HTTPS among top sites is growing, but weirdly so is deprecated HTTP public key pinning

Little Mouse

I only just noticed...

El-Reg uses https:!

Holy crap - when did that happen?

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Little Mouse

Why am I picturing this "culturally sensitive remake" as starring Hammond, May & Clarkson?

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Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

Little Mouse

Re: You're really lucky!

Slightly off-topic, but have you noticed in local news stories about really unlucky people who manage to suffer bizarre & unlikely combinations of being impaled/burned/blown up/run over etc, that they always say the same thing from their hospital beds?

"I'm the luckiest man alive."

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

Little Mouse

Re: Boil? Pah!

I'm a sprout fan too, but don't ever be tempted to make a sprout omelette.

It tasted fucking awful.

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Frenchman comes eye to eye with horror toilet python

Little Mouse

Re: Called the fire brigade indeed...

A real Frenchman would have taunted it.

"Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!". Etc.

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Whizzes' lithium-iron-oxide battery 'octuples' capacity on the cheap

Little Mouse

Re: Oh look, another one.

So how are you supposed to get funding to develop a prototype if you can't publish until after you've already got one?

I've already made a prototype. Only double the size (2*2*2), but also with eight times the capacity.

Now where's my money?

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Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Little Mouse

The most potent drugs I ever got from my grandparents were mint imperials. <sigh>

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Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the data centre temp's delightful

Little Mouse

Top Tip:

BTW - If you need to quickly reduce the heat of a scorching machine room armed with nothing more than natural ventilation and all the desk fans you can lay your hands on, you get much quicker results if you set everything up to blow all the hot air out, rather than by trying to force lots of lovely cold air in.

I learned this the hard way, so you don't have to.

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How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

Little Mouse

Re: I may have unbelievable news, but salt water is actually a very good conductor

If the string isn't actually required, then shirley this would work over a stream of piss.

The duration of the connection would only be limited by bladder capacity, and/or how long you could endure having a crocodile clip attached to your unmentionables. The quality of your aim might also be a factor.

This could be the next YouTube challenge...

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Do you suffer from the shame of 'Scroll Jank'? Help is at your fingertips

Little Mouse

Scroll Jank?

That name wouldn't be out of place in an episode of The Mighty Boosh.

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Toucan play that game: Talking toy bird hacked

Little Mouse

...any bird from the genus Bugeranus tickles my fancy.

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O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent skunk's in bunches

Little Mouse

Re: Aaaaaaand...

I've hung mine up indoors.

Right next to my crystal meth advent calendar.

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Car rental firms told: Tell your customers about in-car data slurps

Little Mouse

Re: I tend to stick

I try to cover myself against the typical scams, but still got caught out last year when I was billed me an extra 40 Euro on top of the quoted price because the car they issued me with was a diesel.

Apparently the helpful rental desk employee pointed this out to me in advance, and definitely offered me the chance to not throw money at them for no discernable benefit if I so wished. Anyway, I signed their contract, which clearly spelled out those particular terms, in Spanish, and No Further Correspondence Will Be Entered Into.

Screw you, Goldcar.

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Drone collisions with airliners may not be fatal, US study suggests

Little Mouse

Re: UK Government playing fast and loose with facts?

The major flaw with the UK study is that they forgot to defrost the drone first...

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Foil snack food bags make a decent Faraday cage, judge finds

Little Mouse

Re: "They're a lot like Cheetohs. Only better."

Twisties? Cheetohs?

Kneel before our Wotsits, Colonies!

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Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Little Mouse

...or "Hordes of the Things".

Radio show or the game. Not bothered.

It'll still be better than watching Aragorn, Sauron & the rest all in the same year at high-school, having weekly adventures whilst struggling with homework & parental issues.

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Canucks have beef with Soylent as to whether or not it's a real meal deal

Little Mouse

Re: We'll stick to real food, thanks

"...all in a big pile"

I misread that as "all in a big pie".

Worth a try, I reckon.

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After seven-hour operation, the ISS has a new 'hand'

Little Mouse

Re: previous experience

"Hey, Randy. What's handy?"

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Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Little Mouse

Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

Agreed - A lot of apocryphal stories have a grounding in truth. "shared experiences" is a pretty good label for many of them.

I have personally dealt with a user who genuinely couldn't find the "any" key, seen multiplugs plugged into themselves, and removed all manner of foreign objects from assorted hardware. All true, even though you've heard them all before.

(Although I've never had to deal with the fabled "cup holder"...)

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Little Mouse

Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

"A roll? A roll of Durex? I'd like to see his Christmas presents..."

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What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

Little Mouse

A clearly-defined keyboard imprint in your forehead is not an easy look to carry off at work.

<cough!> Apparently.

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Nokia updates classic comeback mobe 3310

Little Mouse

Re: and off-grid paranoiacs

"...easily confused relatives"

Unfortunately, any & every mobile can be confusing for some. No matter how simple the interface, it's still a mobile phone, and therefore something to be feared.

Residents of care homes can sometimes find themselves cut-off from the outside world if they have no landline and yet are unable to use a mobile (smartphone or dumb).

A brilliant recent "invention" was a phone that looks and behaves exactly like an old tethered phone - one that in days gone by would have sat on a table in the hall or at the bottom of the stairs.

This baby contains a SIM instead of being wired to the phone network, but is instantly familiar to the older generation. Genius.

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Playboy founder and dressing-gown wearer Hugh Hefner dead at 91

Little Mouse

Re: See what you did there "jazz mag", obvious typo

@AC

Sorry, they really have been known as "jazz mags" (in Blighty at least) for some time now.

I think I first came across <cough!> the term in Viz in the early nineties - e.g. typical headline: "We've found Hitler's horny Jazz Mags", etc.

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3D selfies? What could possibly go wrong?

Little Mouse

The header [sorry] pic to this article is a 2D representation of a 3D model of a 2D photo of a 3D head.

Just sayin'.

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

Little Mouse

Re: Ah, memories.

"trying to photocopy things onto acetates since the printer couldn't print them"

IIRC you could get laser-printer-grade acetate sheets. The other kind would - and frequently did - melt inside the printer.

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Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

Little Mouse

Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

Can a cat be poured into two separate containers at the same time?

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Violent moon mishap will tear Uranus a new ring or two

Little Mouse

Re: Well, i hope it happens ...

"Arizona Bay"

I have a dim memory of a short story where, after "The Big One", instead of everything to the West of the San Andreas fault collapsing in to the sea, everything to the East did instead...

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Stealth, lightweight Android breaks cover

Little Mouse

Re: Apps are more of a problem

'developers who test on the latest [...] cause devices to become "old" much quicker than they actually are'

That's pretty much the last five decades' of computing summed up right there. Probably even longer, but I don't remember before that.

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It's happening! Official retro Thinkpad lappy spotted in the wild

Little Mouse

Not-so-fond memories of shoehorning MSDOS & Windows onto my boss's Thinkpad, with only an OS2 (Warp?) driver disk and no internet to speak of.

I think I'll give this particular bit of nostalgia a miss, thanks.

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Web-enabled vibrator class action put to bed

Little Mouse

We have enhanced our privacy notice, increased app security, provided customers [with] more choice in the data they share, and we continue to work with leading privacy and security experts to enhance the app.

Umm - That doesn't sound to me like they have they actually stopped collecting the data. Just that they've done the minimum possible to "notify" the user (provided they know where to look) and given them the chance to opt-out somehow.

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HBO Game Of Thrones leak: Four 'techies' arrested in India

Little Mouse

Re: I might watch it sometime

"then I'm better off watching Lesbian Vampire Killers"

Think carefully before going down that road. There's no turning back once you do.

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Och. Scottish Parliament under siege from brute-force cyber attack

Little Mouse

Slight tangent here - but did anyone in Scotland, ever, say the word "Jings!!" apart from in The Beano & The Dandy?

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The cheek of it! Beach bar owner shoots nude bather in the booty

Little Mouse

Re: It may have bounced off

If she was your "typical" naturist, the pellet probably just got wedged into one of the many creases and wrinkles.

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Strip club selfie bloke's accidental discharge gets him 6 years in clink

Little Mouse

Re: Right to bear arms

@Roj: Nah - you've got all mixed up. It's all about the right to sport a ridiculous hillbiilly suntan, Shirley?

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Why do you cry when chopping onions? No, it's not crippling anxiety, it's this weird chemical

Little Mouse

Defense Mechanism?

and this is presumably produced by the onion as a natural defense mechanism

Or, just maybe, our eye-watering discomfort is a defense mechanism of our own. From way back when vicious onions roamed in packs, and our caveman ancestors learned the hard way not to mess with them.

Probably.

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The opsec blunders that landed a Russian politician's fraudster son in the clink for 27 years

Little Mouse

Re: Great explanation

Agreed.

It's been a while since I read The Cuckoo's Egg. It's about time I dug it out again...

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Sysadmin jeered in staff cafeteria as he climbed ladder to fix PC

Little Mouse

"Have you had to perform sysadminnery in front of an ... erm ... appreciative audience?"

Not me - but in the early ninties an ex-colleague of mine was once the IT-guy on one of the City trading floors.

You can only imagine the amount of abuse he used to get from the self-obsessed, money-driven wankers every time he had to enter their demesne to replace their broken kit. And like all spoilt, tantrum-prone children, they used to break a lot of kit...

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Sweden leaked every car owners' details last year, then tried to hush it up

Little Mouse
Headmaster

Re: Too Many Idiots in the Kitchen

Sorry - Not quite.

An oxymoron is actually a name, or maybe title, that seems to contradict the thing it is naming.

The most overused example is probably "Military Intelligence". But there are many others to choose from - e.g. Great Yarmouth.

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Boffins' five eyes surprise: Bees correct colour for ambient light

Little Mouse

Re: The visual equivalent to a noise cancelling microphone.

There are some famous cases where we get confused, of course.

Hopefully bees can give us a definitive answer to the question of our time: Just what colour was that dress?

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