* Posts by Afernie

387 posts • joined 3 Dec 2014


You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files


Yeah, I'd forgotten about that as well. Amusingly, the files are copied via modem in the space of seconds and our hero's techie sidekick declares that decrypting the bad guy's files will take "a few minutes". Some things never change, and Hollywood's depiction of magical technology is one of them.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish


Re: "What are you, a fucking 8-year-old? It's a TV series for children."

Talk about taking the bait...

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans


Well, this seems like an effective and reasonable solution.

I for one am confident the torrent sites, such as Pirate Bay and its endless whack-a-mole collection of proxies will immediately comply with this legislation, like the good law-abiding little drones they are. Oh. Wait...

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found

Black Helicopters

Well, got the Brexit clusterfuck off the front page for a day or two...

But I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

Russian 'troll factory' firebombed – but still fit to fiddle with our minds


Re: You cannot troll a troll.

"No, but you can give him a cookie."

But if you give a troll a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk.

Linux kernel's Torvalds: 'I am truly sorry' for my 'unprofessional' rants, I need a break to get help


Re: That's right Linux community... bend over...

"RIP Linux... It was nice knowing you.

Mines the coat with the Microsoft logo on it. I'd be happy to help any of you escape the SJW gulag if you want."

So... are you saying that if you were to post in Microsoft-related forums with expletive-packed rants (and in your case not-particularly veiled homophobia) nobody would object? I suspect you are incorrect, and I suspect your post tells us more about you than any issue with the Code of Conduct for the Linux Community.

Could you hack your bosses without hesitation, repetition or deviation? AI says: No


"Could you hack your bosses without hesitation, repetition or deviation? AI says: No"

Mr Cotton's Parrot... same question.

Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU


Re: NATO...

"Galileo works "in combination" with GPS and is rather easy to block again not something you want in modern warfare"

No, you wouldn't want it modern warfare, because it isn't for modern or any other kind of warfare. Galileo is *interoperable* with GPS, GLONASS, etc. It does not rely on GPS, and is not, nor was it ever a military system.

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great


Re: least beleivable storyline ever

We routinely encounter people who accidentally add calendar entries to the calendar profile for a personal account on an iPhone and then insist the system is broken when it fails to materialise on their desktop Outlook. It's entirely believable.

Hmmm, we can already seize your stuff, so why can't we shoot down your drone, officials mull


Re: Is private property worth more than a human life?

Someone's clicked the wrong bookmark again. Breitbart starts with a B.

Calm your conspiracy theories, latest glimpse reveals Planet Nine may just be a pipe dream


"Scientists believe Planet Nine may have began as the core of a gas giant, "

The PGN is developing a facial tic...


Re: Eat your heart out, Copernicus - the Flat-Earthers were right!

"I know this cos my mate told me last night."

Has your mate acquired a nasal, buzzing quality to his voice and refuses to be viewed in direct light? Lots of those summer colds going round...

In a touching Monty Python tribute today, Microsoft's Office 365 makes everything spam


Nice one!

"I set myself up a gmail account specifically for work, all my internal company mail goes to O365, all external to gmail."

I'm sure it shouldn't need saying, but this is typically a gigantic no-no. If the company has a proper security policy and AUP you are violating them both. If they don't, they should and you would be violating them both.

Depending on your correspondence/job you might also be violating privacy/data protection laws in a manner that leaves you and your employer liable.

PC recycler gets 15 months in the clink for whipping up 28,000 bootleg Windows 7, XP recovery discs


Re: Microsoft isn't Adobe

"I surprised Microsoft would be quite so denigrating of their own software!"

They are when it's a version of Windows they no longer want consumers to use.

World celebrates, cyber-snoops cry as TLS 1.3 internet crypto approved


Re: Round we go again

"They're doing it wrong. "

I expect if you write them a letter telling them all about how much better you could do it, they'd hang on your every word.

Tim Berners-Lee says regulation of the web may be needed


Re: Don't let the Gummint get involved

""Gibiru is the preferred Search Engine for Patriots." and does absolutely nothing on my browser except a lot of self-praise."

It does not use a certificate - default connection is to http, so your searches are in the clear for anyone who happens to be looking.

It also appears to use the Google API for search, which is hardly reassuring in terms of privacy, and the ability of Google to literally just switch it off if they choose. Plus the site blurb makes me think it was bashed together by a collection of raging fruitloops, so there's that.

India denies breach of its billion-strong 'Aadhaar' ID system


Re: Just think. The UK could have had the "benefits" of such a system years ago.

"How foolish they were to turn down the advantages of the cradle-to-grave surveillance system that was the National Identity Card Scheme and it's infamous "National Identity Register""

Turned it down, yes. Or at least temporarily dodged the bullet until the idea is resurrected and whispered in the instinctively authoritarian ear of whichever IT illiterate twit is Home Secretary at the time.

Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks


"Who in their right mind would opt-in to porn when sharing the connection via public wifi?"

You'd be surprised. "Right mind" implies "thinking", after all.

So you're 'agile', huh? I do not think it means what you think it means


Re: Too soon?

"Certainly had all the characteristics of most "agile" delivery I've seen - blew up too soon, and incompletely."

Very agile - he was "testing from day one."

Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?


Re: Despair over Brexit and Trump?

"Despair over Brexit and Trump?

Might be the prevailing sentiment of El Reg staff or Situation Publishing, but trust me, many of us think they are the two best things to have happened in 2016."

The tedious orange tool may yet prove to be the last thing to happen in or to 2018, given his manifest mental illness and his apparent belief that first use might be fun.

Microsoft exec says ARM-powered Windows laptops have multi-day battery life


Re: Cool.

"That means a non-bloatware OS should be able to run for a couple weeks. Count me in!"

Chances of their ARM kit not being locked down in the manner of the Surface RT? Zero.

'There has never been a right to absolute privacy' – US Deputy AG slams 'warrant-proof' crypto


Re: Sounds like he wants to be able to force people to give up passwords & keys

"Sounds like he wants to be able to force people to give up passwords & keys

Not attempt the impossible trick of making secure encryption with a government backdoor."

For the last 18-odd years the government here in Blighty has had the legal means to force the surrender of encryption keys on pain of imprisonment (RIPA 2000). I'm pleased to report this has prevented all terrorism and we live a life of unfettered bliss in these Sceptred Isles, secure under the watchful gaze of Big Brother.

Twitter's 280-char blog mode can be enabled client-side. Just sayin'


Re: Double trouble

"I don't bother listing Trump's successes and successes-in-progress because every item I list as good will be denounced as bad by those who hate him. <SNIP>"

From here on out I'm going to assume Poe's Law is in effect, and you're just laying it on really thick.

Bing fling sting: Apple dumps Microsoft search engine for Google


Re: To be fair...

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk about them."

So they're like the entities of the Cthulhu Mythos, those that shall not be named? I started forewarned and repentant. Hopefully I haven't completed the summoning of that which lurks on the threshold (of mainstream computing).


Re: To be fair...

Not strictly true. As I recall Microsoft über-fanboy "Richto/TheVogon" was prone to letting those very words escape his lips. Think of him as the anti-Eadon, and for the sake of the universe, keep them separate.


Re: To be fair, it was Google search all along ...

"Bing was just a proxy with a very large cache."

But if that's true, how come I can never find any useful search results with Bing?

Bombastic boss gave insane instructions to sensible sysadmin, with client on speakerphone


Re: Note exactly dangerous, but...

"Boss: "If you're well enough to pick up a £50 note, you're well enough to work.""

I hear there are jobs involving harassing disabled people going at ATOS for guys with his "skill set".

Can GCHQ order techies to work as govt snoops? Experts fear: 'Yes'


Re: Who cares?

"I mean seriously? Other than anti-establishment SJWs and solicitors looking for their next meal ticket why would anyone give a toss about this? The chances of Mr Average IT person who hasn't signed the official secrets act ever being called up by GCHQ is so vanishingly small that its virtually non existent."

There is always a delightfully uninformed uniformity to your alt-right buzzword-packed trollograms. I'm an average IT guy at a multinational and I can certainly think of a scenario where this would be a possibility.

The clue being "multinational", the significance being the nations in question.

Forget Iran and North Korea. Now there's another uranium source


No but you are reading a tabloid - the red top is the clue. If you don't like it there are other, much stuffier IT news sites to choose from.

It’s 2017 and Hayes AT modem commands can hack luxury cars


Re: "In IT terms a 2009 product is close to end-of-life" - Does not compute!

"Love to know the rationale for this statement; having worked on IT 'products' with an intended operational life measured in decades..."

Try sticking Windows 7 on this year's Ultrabooks and let us know how you get on. You've worked on products with a intended operational life measured in decades - but most businesses now work with hardware with an intended operational life measured in single-digit numbers of years.. The key word in each case is "intended."


Re: The one domain where IoT shit cannot linger long

"Security should be the number one concern of any IT appliance, unfortunately it generally feels to be last minute, rushed and under-appreciated."

Along with the sheer lack of interest in actually providing security fixes thanks to perception of these devices as disposable commodity items.


Re: The one domain where IoT shit cannot linger long

"Babyminders, stuffed toys, surveillance cameras, nobody's life is in danger when these things get taken over."

You appear to be limiting your assessment of the possibilities.

Police officer. "We're very sorry for your loss sir. We think they used the cameras to establish that your wife was home alone..."

Look out Silicon Valley, here comes Brit bruiser Amber Rudd to lay down the (cyber) law


Re: Boris Johnson is American already

"Ooh! Hasn't he given up his USA citizenship or does he pay the annual Federal taxes on what he earns here and else where?

The people need to know!"

Yes on both counts, the first earlier this year, and the latter prior to that. He didn't enjoy contributing to the US Treasury coffers, that much is clear.

AI quickly cooks malware that AV software can't spot


Re: Just link the virus checker to an AI

"Game on!"

An arms race that starts with malware AI versus detection AI and ends with... Skynet.

US Homeland Sec boss has snazzy new laptop bomb scanning tech – but admits he doesn't know what it's called


Re: I could have done without the "nerd" comment

"And I'm not a fashion whore."

You heard it here first folks. Opposition to a narcissistic crook, sexual predator, bigot, con-artist, pathological liar, possible traitor and science denier being in the White House is fashionable. Who knew? For your information I'm from Scotland and we hated him with passion and reason long before his name ever stained your ballot papers.

I'm also amused that you thought "utterly paralysed, perpetually scandal-hit global laughing stock government" would be preferable to "big government", but I guess it takes all sorts.


Re: I could have done without the "nerd" comment

"Sounds like humourless, childish but fashionable Trump-administration-bashing to me."

It's beyond irony for anyone supporting the toddler-in-chief to refer to anyone else as childish at this point.

Fan of FBI cosplay? Enjoy freaking out your neighbors? Have we got the eBay auction for you


Re: What is that smell?

LCD screens have been around for a long time, only becoming ubiquitous once prices came down - using them in a vehicle with confined space would make sense regardless of cost. DVD as a format has existed since 1995, but nobody said the van never received any upgrades during its service life, did they?

.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job


"Even a dummy like me with no interest in learning the Morse codes knows the SOS code."

Good for you. Presumably you also know the morse code for:

"Massive contamination. Do not approach without specialist equipment."

"It's a trap!"

"False alarm."

Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser


Re: Coming soon to the UK...

""Prime Minister Corbyn will sort all this nonsense out. ;)"


If you think any of the major parties are going to disassemble anything that's already in place then you're seriously delusional. Can I just remind you of Labour's National Identity Card..."

Actually, whatever his other faults may be, Corbyn opposed ID cards, saying they "will not solve crime, fraud or terrorism":


US Senators want Kaspersky shut out of military contracts


Re: Or ...

"... US Senators could push the military to switch to platforms less susceptible to virus attacks in the first place."

At which point much of the effort currently expended by the scummier denizens of the net on Windows will switch to making Linux their primary target.


"The US wan't this paranoid during the War. Sheesh! Welcome to conservative politics."

Probably because Russia wasn't interfering in America's electoral process back then, and America was way more comfortable when it was mainly them doing precisely that to other countries.

Gay Dutch vultures become dads


Re: "Gay Teutonic Vultures"

"Gay Teutonic Vultures of Glam Metal"

Works for me.

'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem


Re: Dilbert's PHB, shurely?

"Not the originator I guess but surely one of the main sources that popularised the "heavy files" thing?"

My favourite Dibert strip in that vein remains the one where he has the PHB crawling around on his hands and knees in his office all afternoon looking for the token that fell out of the token ring network...

UK.gov throws hissy fit after Twitter chokes off snoop firm's access


Re: Flameout...

"Everyone has already bought into the Snowdon Factor even though 70% of what he says is bollocks to those who really understand the technology. "

Lord Snowdon? Who knew he was in the intelligence data mining field? Or alive.


Re: depressing...

"I'm sure with comments like yours I suspect that they sometimes wonder why they bother seeking to preserve your existence on this planet."

Amber.. is that you? I didn't think you knew how to work these computer contraptions with the hash thingies.

Alaska dentist 'pulled out patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard'


Re: What's Surprising?

"And no one made sure his real name isn't Orin Scrivello!"

That's "Doctor" Orin Scrivello DDS to you...

Silicon Valley tech CEO admits beating software engineer wife, offered just 13 days in the clink


Re: @Symon

"Apparently you don't understand the difference between using a common word and quoting someone else's thoughts & ideas. Given how clueless and wet a lot of people on here seem to be doesn't that surprise me in the least."

Yes, common words in the context of only one group of people, specifically right-wing mouthbreathers. As such, when an individual uses them in any context, my respect for them drops to a level almost as low as my assessment of their intelligence.


Re: @Symon

"Ah, quoting someone else. The "I'm not smart enough to think up my own retort" retort. Never mind, keep trying, better luck next time eh? Chin up!"

Said the man who learned his favourite insults from Breitbart and "Fight Club". Unless of course you invented those first resorts of the terminally unimaginative, "snowflake" and "libtard".

Radio hackers set off Dallas emergency sirens at midnight as a prank


Re: Doesn't sound like an important newstory to me.

"I think you missed the part where my post was an obvious joke."

Or, just possibly, you missed how tone deaf your post was.


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