* Posts by Paul Herber

324 posts • joined 28 Nov 2014

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Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse

Paul Herber Silver badge

so glad they did the test properly, shows they applied plenty of rigour ...

Oh this 2019 timeline. Finish this sentence: Austrian politico accused of spending €3,000 a month on ...

Paul Herber Silver badge

Splitters

Patch now: Published Citrix applications leave networks of 'potentially 80,000' firms at risk from attackers

Paul Herber Silver badge

Watch out for someone using a sleigh load-balancer over the next few days. Not a black-hat hacker, nor a white-hat hacker, red-hat maybe ...

Cheque out my mad metal frisbee skillz... oops. Lights out!

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Someone from Bath, goes by the name Oliver ...

Paul Herber Silver badge

Somebody once moved my cheese ...

London's Westminster Council wins appeal against phonebooth-cum-massive-digital-advert

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How about a Lovely Phonebooth competition?

Boffins find proof that yes, Carl Sagan and Joni Mitchell were right, we really are all made up of star stuff

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Re: Not right about everything

Makes a change from the usual "Earth will be destroyed and we are stuffed" - Big Yellow Taxidermist.

And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy

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Re: And All Who Sail In Her

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Nebraska_Sea

Tesla has a smashing weekend: Model 3 on Autopilot whacks cop cars, Elon's Cybertruck demolishes part of LA

Paul Herber Silver badge

Bollards to that!

David Phillips, godfather of UK tech distribution industry, dies aged 74

Paul Herber Silver badge

I bought a printer from Northamber many years ago (maybe 1980/81), went to a house in Esher to collect it! No, I don't have the invoice any more!

Two can play that game: China orders ban on US computers and software

Paul Herber Silver badge

BSD

Beijing Style Desktop

Europol wipes out 30,000+ piracy sites, three suspects cuffed to walk the legal plank

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I've had a good number of fake websites stealing content (mainly images) from my website for a while now. Many of them seem to have disappeared! Woo.

BBC tells Conservative Party to remove edited Facebook ad featuring its reporters

Paul Herber Silver badge

localhost, that's for localpeople.

If tsoHost is lecturing us on sleep hygiene, Brit outfit really does have hosting back to front

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Too often for too long...

I've moved most of my domains away now, just one to go ...

Amazon straightens up its IoT house, complete with virtual Alexa, ahead of Las Vegas shindig

Paul Herber Silver badge

Smart toilet seats

Alexa and Google and Sira etc, bog off.

Yours, Captain U-bend.

That code that could never run? Well, guess what. Now Windows thinks it's Batman

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: South Western Railway

What have I written that deserves 2 downvotes?

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South Western Railway

Is this yet another strike over who operates the doors?

At least the trains have been upgraded from 8080s.

Class 286/386/486 locos look so dated now.

From July, you better be Putin these Kremlin-approved apps on gadgets sold in Russia

Paul Herber Silver badge

Fawlty

I know,

un, dos, tress ...

or was that "on those trays"?

Questions hang over Gatwick Airport after low level drone near-miss report

Paul Herber Silver badge

Need to use the FFF units, Furlongs, Ferkin, Fortnight.

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Drones

pointed remarks

The Bloodhound Gang hits 1,010kph, retreats to lab to work on smashing the land speed record

Paul Herber Silver badge

"The speed achieved would allow you to travel from London to Edinburgh in 39 minutes."

HS3 here we come.

'Sophisticated' cyber attack on UK Labour Party platforms was probably just a DDoS, says official

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Meanwhile, over at Guido's..

"majority (conservatively 70%+)"

Is that a prediction? Ok, I won't labour this point ...

Congress to FCC: Where’s the damn report on mobile companies selling location data?

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: US Politics

Not so fast, sunshine. In this game there is an exit fee. Paiup.

Blood, snot and fear: Why the travelling lone tech reporter should always knock twice

Paul Herber Silver badge

Blood, Snot and Fears

What a good name for a band!

We're almost into the third decade of the 21st century and we're still grading security bugs out of 10 like kids. Why?

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: We're almost into the third decade of the 21st century

In a hundred years time people will look back at our times in the same way we look back at 1919.

Revealed: The new icon you'll click to download an alternative browser, and more from Microsoft

Paul Herber Silver badge

FFS - it worked. I now have a functioning laptop again.

Paul Herber Silver badge

I'd like to try this on my laptop but after the last update that has been imposed on me it is still looking very brick-like.

Maybe I should play the Fairport Convention album - Unhalfbricking.

Boffins don bad 1980s fashion to avoid being detected by object-recognizing AI cameras

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Er ...

kipper tie?

Yes please, milk and two sugars.

Microsoft welcomes ancient Project app to the 365 family, meaning bleak future for on-prem

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Plan 9?

but the "up to 11" is a very important concept ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Up_to_eleven

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Information density

If you need more than 10 tasks then you need to redesign your tasks to suit our software!

Are you as handy with privacy certs as you are with a screwdriver? Ikea has the perfect vacancy

Paul Herber Silver badge

CIPM

I've got CP/M 1.4 and 2.2 on my CV. Is that good enough?

The eagle has handed.... scientists a serious text message bill after flying through Iran, Pakistan

Paul Herber Silver badge

what a journey!

I know where they were going. Morrrrrdorrrrr!

How do we stop filling the oceans with Lego? By being a BaaS-tard, toy maker suggests

Paul Herber Silver badge

Girl bricks

Girls, drink, feck, I love my lego brick!

TalkTalk says WalkWalk if you've got a mouldy Tiscali email address, or pay £50 a year to keep it

Paul Herber Silver badge

TANSTAAFEA

Don't ask Why Not?

Watch out! Andromeda, the giant spiral galaxy colliding with our own Milky Way, has devoured several galaxies before

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Let me get this straight ....

Has your star or planet been flung out its galaxy for no justifiable reason? See how much your star may be able to claim in compensation! Talk to one of our Sol-icitors now! Maybe you were a victim of a game of inter-galactic bar billiards. If the player was pished then health and safety laws may have been broken. You may have a sense of loyalty to the rest of creation. Forget that, you can make good money from this. We do! Give us a call on Spiral Galaxy 28948. Don't delay. Call today. All calls will be charged at extortionate rates.

Oracle demands $12K from network biz that doesn't use its software

Paul Herber Silver badge

i placed a softwâre on the xxx video clips (Orâckle) web site ând guess whât, you vīsīted this website to hâve dâtâbâse fűn (you know whât i mean). While you were viewing trânsâctions, yoűr web brőwser initīatd őprating âs a RDP having a keylőgger which gav me âccessibility to your scrn and câm. Right after that, my software collectd all of yőűr contacts from yőur Orcâle, âs wll as -mail . and then ī mâde a doubl-screen vīdeo. 1st part shows the tâbl;es yoű wer watching (yoű hâve a nice tâste in bârgepőlis lől . . .), and nxt part shows the view of yőur webcâm, & it īs u.

Can you code a way to foil online terrorist vids? The Home Office might just have £600K for you

Paul Herber Silver badge

600K

and it would all have been mine if it hadn't been for those pesky vids!

Better Bluetooth in Windows 10 and more local Azure toys via Docker containers

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Microsoft and Ball

but Ball & Gates might have worked. Or was that Cow & Gate? I forget.

Emergency button saves gamers from sudden death... of starvation

Paul Herber Silver badge

That joke was old when Not The Nine O'Clock News did it!

UK.gov's smart meter cost-benefit analysis for 2019 goes big on cost, easy on the benefits

Paul Herber Silver badge

SMETS2

More like SMEGS2

Treating us like gimboids.

Full of beans? Sadly not as fellow cracks open tin at dinner to find just one

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Re: Beenz

Has beenz.

<queue canned laughter>

Paul Herber Silver badge

Even the bean counters are being dumbed-down. One bean, many beans.

Cortana makes your PC's heart beat faster: Windows 10 update leaves some processors hot under the cooler

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Re: Agile !

I think that needs a flowchart.

Paul Herber Silver badge

Fragile !

good album, that.

Maltese browser game biz flings €1m sueball at Google over Adsense kerfuffle

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Re: puns

Next they'll be selling Bounty bars on Coconut Airways.

Paul Herber Silver badge

puns

Chocolate Factory - Maltese. No, can't see any scope for puns in this article at all.

Hong Kong ISPs beg Chinese govt not to impose Great Firewall on them

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: The Chinese Government not used to handling an informed population ...

You'll Roo the day you said that!

UK.gov: Huge mobile masts coming to a grassy hill near you soon

Paul Herber Silver badge

Re: Can someone explain...

Do Amazon not sell swan necks? In packs of 50? What is one to do?

Paul Herber Silver badge

complaints about masts

I tried to complain about a local mast once, but couldn't get a decent signal!

Eight-hour comms lags and shock discoveries: 30 years after Voyager 2 visited gas giant Neptune

Paul Herber Silver badge
Trollface

I don't know why they didn't just use more power to get the signals back quicker! Laws of physics? Pah!

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