* Posts by matthewdjb

24 posts • joined 29 Oct 2014

AI has automated everything including this headline curly bracket semicolon


Re: TOO REAL - YouTube Link broken Mr Dabbs

But not available where I live.


Re: "don't start a sentence with a conjunction"

That's ending a sentence with a preposition


A later edition of the Eye, says that twitter is 90% journalists and other media types taking to other media types. It does not reflect society's views abs newspapers should stop presenting it as such

If the thing you were doing earlier is 'drop table' commands, ctrl-c, ctrl-v is not your friend


One weekend we were doing a system upgrade. I was told I'd be called Saturday to do my task; dropping an index of the general ledger, running some task, reinstating the index.

I didn't get the call.

Sunday at about 8pm, and after a couple of bottles of wine, the call came. I explained the deal was that the call me Saturday. Today is Sunday and I'm pissed.

I think the guy at the other end of phone was maybe a yank, as he persuaded me, eventually, to do my part.

I came within a "confirm y/n" of dropping the table rather than the index..

A day in the life of London seen through spam and weak Wi-Fi


" I've experienced stronger throughput on 1200 baud dial-up."

You're as old as me then.


It seems appropriate since your job is to regularly vent it.

Personality quiz for all you IT bods: Are you a chameleon or an outlaw? A diplomat or a high flier? Vote right here


"It also confirms our suspicion that millennials are not interested in earthly possessions:"

That's because they don't have any. The losers.

Out-of-office email ping-pong fills server after server over festive break


And from the subcontinent

The comments on this blog https://blogs.sap.com/2014/02/21/why-faking-your-cv-would-hunt-you-for-life/ indicate that many of our off-shore colleagues consider lying, faking and cheating to be perfectly moral and justified.

We've read the Mueller report. Here's what you need to know: ██ ██ ███ ███████ █████ ███ ██ █████ ████████ █████


Re: The Mueller report was one big nothingburger

Thanks for your comments, Ivan.

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?


Re: Then there is the "send me a copy"

"Especially when they take a screenshot of terminal output, embed the image in a Word doc and email"

You missed a step. "Especially when they take a screenshot of terminal output, embed the image in a Word doc, save it as a pdf, and email"

Chap joins elite support team, solves what no one else can. Is he invited back? Is he f**k


Re: not neccessarily very good at brown-nosing...

"" I resent him the original email informing him"

And in turn, he began to resent you.

Netflix wants to choose its own adventure where Bandersnatch trademark case magically vanishes


"It added that every ending in Bandersnatch "turns out horribly" for the main character"

Hey. I've not seen it yet. How about a spoiler warning?

(Actually, I might watch it now)

Blighty's most trusted brand? Yeah, you wish, judge tells Post Office in Horizon IT system ruling


Re: Credit where it's due

Presumably "94" is a call-out to the Eye.

How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb?


Re: Long way around the barn!

My smartwatch (a Pebble) has a backlight with just enough brightness to safely navigate the most trap laden bedroom. And 4 days battery life.

Secret mic in Nest gear wasn't supposed to be a secret, says Google, we just forgot to tell anyone


Re: Don't be........

But are you paranoid enough?

Solder and Lego required: The Register builds glorious Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa


Duh. You go to the effort because its there.

Take your pick: Linux on Windows 10 hardware, or Windows 10 on Linux hardware


Re: Neither, please

Because it's there.

Use an 8-char Windows NTLM password? Don't. Every single one can be cracked in under 2.5hrs


Re: Up to a point


Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s


Re: Not sure...

In the early 90s we switch over from IBM 3270 Terminals to herds of Vaxen and VT100 keyboards. The network guys had a washing line strung over their area with keyboards hanging from it, drying out from user spillage.

Apparently, diet coke was fine, but anything with sugar in - like full fat coke - made the keyboards unrecoverable.

How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?


Two fond memories from pre 1993.

Working for a company based in Bath, one of the field engineers calls up, and in a delightful Zummerzet accent (which I won't try to emulate in text), begins this conversation:

Him: I've got this new laptop, and I've switched it on, and I don't know what to do next.

Me: So, can you tell me what you can see on the screen?

Him:Er.. . "Welcome to <company name's> computer network. Press key 'A' to continue".

Me: Can you press the A key on the keyboard please?

Him; <click> Oh, yes, that's done it. Thank-you very much.

And then near Newcastle, we had a chap with two different accounts (on a Amdahl mainframe, running VM), who kept forgetting the passwords. Password change was 3rd level support (2nd level was user support, 1st level the helpdesk). The call came through - Mr so-and-so has forgotten his passwords again, can you reset it? The rather grumpy team lead grins and adopts his most pleasant manner:

'yep, no problem, doing it now. Ok, the first account, the password is "head". Second account... that'll be "dick". Be sure to tell him in the right order.'

TalkTalk attackers stole 'incomplete' customer bank data, ISP confirms


Re: Yes, exactly that

Through a support call where the id was verified by the last four digits of his credit card number.

Manhattan-sized iceberg splits from glacier – and spotted FROM SPACE


Armageddon out of here.

The end is neigh, as the horsemen of the apocalypse ride out.

Crowdfunded ZX Spectrum revival just days from shipment


Re: As a BBC owner...

By switching between FAST mode and SLOW modes in different combinations you could generate tones through the TV speaker, as noted here: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2011/03/04/sinclair_zx81_anniversary/#c_1003189



Even with cheap labour, my experience is that the cheapest way to outsource is to pay the money to the service provider, but do all the actual work yourself.

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