* Posts by choleric

325 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

Page:

Huge ice blades on Jupiter’s Europa will make it a right pain in the ASCII to land on

choleric

It's not ROCKET science

So we need to invent something that sprays copious volumes of very hot gases out of its underside as it comes in to land, thereby melting any ice spears and creating a smooth surface for eventual touchdown? It'll transform space-flight when that's invented.

12
0

Convenient switch hides an inconvenient truth

choleric

Re: Barrel Bottoms

Shome shuggestions:

*Someone* once crashed a mainframe and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

IT workers of the world. Our hands on your emergency power buttons.

I eat script kiddies for breakfast. Snap, >kzert<, ping.

I press kill-switches for a living.

:~$whoami

El Reg "Who Me?" Outstanding Sysadmin Skills award winner.

11
0

Microsoft: OK, we have no phones, but look how much we love Android

choleric

Re: 3 Words

Following the "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely" maxim you don't add or multiply, you raise it to a power. This gives

Microsoft to the power of a Google

or

(Microsoft) ^ (Google)

which is a very large amount of evil indeed. Note that "the don't be evil" safeguard doesn't apply here because we are dealing with absolute amounts.

3
1

Intel boss admits chips in short supply, lobs cash into the quagmire

choleric

The old block layers problem

"36nm metal pitches with self-aligned quadruple patterning and multiple block layers is probably the problem."

I hadn't, myself, yet identified this as being the particular problem, but I'm sure I would have got there in the end ... Maybe around the time Intel got round to implementing a 3pm plasma pitch with ai-aligned nontuple tessalating and dancing block layers system.

5
1
choleric

Re: A record $15bn in capex this year

That's just going to give other people a chance to get at stuff you'd rather keep to yourself.

1
0

Check out this link! It's not like it'll crash your iPhone or anything (Hint: Of course it will)

choleric

WebKit shmebkit

Firefox on Android 8 is ok here.

1
0

Namecheap users rage at domain transfer pain, but their supplier Enom blames... er, GDPR?

choleric

Re: not just transfers

Eventually fixed, two months later.

0
0
choleric

Re: not just transfers

A month later and still waiting...

Namecheap customer service: "To our regret, we cannot provide an ETA."

0
0
choleric

Re: not just transfers

This is still an issue 2 weeks later!

0
0
choleric

not just transfers

It's affecting domain registrations too. I've had a domain stuck in limbo since registering it in the first half of June. No word on when it will be sorted yet...

Not sure yet whether to blame Namecheap, Enom, or Nominet.

0
0

Time to party like it's 2005! Palm is coming BAAAA-ACK

choleric

I'm still waiting for a 3-D printer to print me a stylus strong enough to let me chisel stone tablets like I used to. It's the original Word processing device.

5
0

Hmm, there's something fishy about this graph charting AMD's push into Intel's server turf

choleric

Re: What a load of carp!

I, however, am getting very annoyed with all this click bait and am about to open a can of woopbass.

0
0

Brits whinging less? About ISPs, networks and TV? It's gotta be a glitch in the Matrix

choleric

Re: Vodafone suck

I see where you're coming from, but that's what people thought about TalkTalk. And then a job lot of their personal data got shared with the world, cheaply.

0
0
choleric

Flipped back

I think what he meant to say was, "If Donald Trump was doing backflips he'd have an 81 per cent approval rating."

3
0

TalkTalk, UK2 sitting in a tree, not T-A-L-K-I-N-G: Hosting biz cut off after ISP broadband upgrade

choleric

ONE hosting provider?!?! You were lucky!

When I were a lad TalkTalk wouldn't speak to any hosting providers, for weeks on end, and their customer service wouldn't speak to me either. High speed fibre could only be found behind t'tractor when it span it's wheels running over soggy cow pats.

2
0

Ubuntu reports 67% of users opt in to on-by-default PC specs slurp

choleric

Re: Encryption

So run a secure backup. Duplicity works well.

0
0

SUSE Linux Enterprise turns 15: Look, Ma! A common code base

choleric

It's understandable. I will never touch another product named ME after being burned by a certain Microsoft product released in the year 2000. Now that was a real y2k bug.

If Linus ever considers releasing a Linux ME version I, for one, would shoo^H^H^Hend him lots of emails asking him very politely (in Linus Standard Politeness mode) to reconsider.

4
2

♬ Finland, Finland, Finland, the country for new cloud DCs ♬

choleric

Re: Google engineers

But not from your snark.

0
0

As Tesla hits speed bump after speed bump, Elon Musk loses his mind in anti-media rant

choleric

unexpected honesty

I was about to click through to post some snark about how journalism doesn't "work", but I think you have it covered in that set of bullet points at the end there. No further questions, your honour.

If you're on a mission like Musk is then the empty vanity of modern media is inevitably frustrating. If you're just interested in what's new for some giggles then who cares whether it's right.

There's much more to this than the spectacular confrontation. "The meeja" have a case to answer, as well as Musk.

52
4

IPv6 growth is slowing and no one knows why. Let's see if El Reg can address what's going on

choleric

article suggestion

Hey Kieran,

El Reg has been known to do some brilliant articles exploring the historical development of old technologies. How about doing something similar into graphs like the one at https://www.google.com/intl/en/ipv6/statistics.html?

For example it would be good to know why there is a drop off in uptake at the start of each year. How far back does the trend extend? Is it just budgets, or is it new year hangovers, or is it universities prepping kit for the next academic year, or what? You could offer some real insight and interest to your readers into a major process the industry is going through right now. Instead of throwing mud. Or maybe as well as throwing mud.

Incidentally, if you had published this article a month or two ago it would have seemed more accurate, but as it is now the IPv6 graph is ticking up again which undermines much of the speculation.

1
0

Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash

choleric

Re: A similar tale that's full of --it

That's a really manure way to deal with things.

10
0
choleric

No, it was completely sterile.

8
0

Drama brews on high seas as Playmobil ship running out of steam

choleric

moniker

The Trans-Atlantic Yatch Live Online Reports by Satelite, With Interaction From Trawlers (and other nearby ocean going vessels), or TAYLOR SWIFT, for short (ish).

Surely someone can do better than this?

8
0

Wanna work for El Reg? Developers needed for headline-writing AI bots

choleric

Re: Clearly something wrong here

Something something something I think that's quite atrocious.

18
0

US Congress quietly slips cloud-spying powers into page 2,201 of spending mega-bill

choleric

Re: Paperweight

I was basing my initial assessment on my frequent experience of dealing with boxes of 2,500 sheets of paper. The pile in his arms looks bigger than such a box but it should only be 2,232 sheets max.

However, on a second look this afternoon, I think I could be persuaded that the way the paper droops down at the front of the stack (paper in a box does not do that), and the way the perspective functions in the photo (he's holding it out in front of him while the camera is quite close by) make the stack look larger, while not actually massaging the number of pages in the stack.

Nice point about duplex. That might slow down the already slow printing process a bit more though.

1
0
choleric

Paperweight

Methinks there might be a few "This page intentionally left blank" insertions into that stack of paper held by the honourable politician. Perhaps he printed out onto rolled polystyrene?

1
3

Breaking up is hard to do: Airbus, new bae Google and clinging on to Microsoft's 'solutions'

choleric

Re: Did you really just put 'bae' in an article headline?

It might not be de rigueur, but it is punny. BAE Systems (a successor to British Aerospace, aka BAe) has had its own association with Airbus. The reference in the headline implies that this software migration might be similarly messy.

4
0

Your mouse can't reach that Excel cell? Buy a 'desk extender' said help desk bluffer

choleric

He should be Arrested and sent for professional Development training.

13
0

Java EE renamed 'Jakarta EE' after Big Red brand spat

choleric

That'll be an island with more population than any other island you've ever been to. "Tourist island" is not an accurate label.

2
0

Capita data centres hit by buttload of outages

choleric

Re: Data centres...

If you publish your address like that you'll get a flood of emails.

5
0

Sorry, I can't hear you, the line's VoLTE

choleric

re-VoLTE

If at first you don't succeed, dial, dial again?

8
0

Iran: We have defeated evil nuclear-sensing Western lizards!

choleric

help please

Can they send their experts over? My Apache server logs are infested with geckos.

22
0

Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant

choleric

The box

Funny how something so basic can save so much bacon. Sometimes the old hacks are the best hacks.

11
0

No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

choleric

If he goes will he be cleared of all chargers?

12
0

Elon Musk's Tesla burns $675.3m in largest ever quarterly loss

choleric

Apogee or perigee?

See title

3
0

Intel alerted Chinese cloud giants 'before US govt' about CPU bugs

choleric

Re: Possible word to wise...

Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I'm not saying I think that El Reg is small fry, just pointing out that WSJ wasn't above belittling it, which wasn't big of them.

4
0
choleric

Re: Possible word to wise...

Yes, but El Reg is only noted with faint praise. Did you see how WSJ only said that the news became widespread the day AFTER El Reg broke it? The point being that our beloved IT Red Top is small fry.

6
0

What do you press when flaws in Bluetooth panic buttons are exposed?

choleric

You call Hawaii

I hear they have a very effective panic button.

7
0

'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

choleric

Re: All this talk of breadboards...

I'm board now.

4
0

Frenchman comes eye to eye with horror toilet python

choleric

Re: Bah!

Simon? Est ce c'est vous?

1
0
choleric

killall -9 python

An encounter with a python, no matter how brief, or even in your briefs, is no choking matter.

Loved the detail about descaling products. Next time the kettle needs a clean I think I'll ask for some reptilian exfoliant. Think I'd have been scared out of my skin.

5
0

Airbus warns it could quit A380 production

choleric

Re: 380b?

Datsun -> Nissan. Basically. Branding for different international markets makes the story a bit more complicated.

8
1

UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

choleric

a meeellion

"contracts for organic undersea weaponisation"

I see what you did there. Needs a natty acronym though. What about Seagoing High Art and Research by Kids?

12
0

DNS resolver 9.9.9.9 will check requests against IBM threat database

choleric

Silent single point of failure

Just one DNS server IP address? Single point of failure.

And the instructions tell you to simply add 9.9.9.9 to the list of DNS servers already configured on your device, albeit as the first entry. This configuration offers no warning in the case that 9.9.9.9 has been blocked and malicious sites are now being accessed.

IPv6 is good to have, but again, only one, and sadly not as memorable. What about 2001:c001::a1d?

3
26

WPA2 KRACK attack smacks Wi-Fi security: Fundamental crypto crapto

choleric

Why do we still only have WPA2?

Shirley we should have had WPA3 released by now? WPA2 was signed off in 2004 back when the earth was young. Did we really learn nothing from the sorry saga of playing catch-up with SSL and TLS vulnerabilities?

1
1

What does Elon Musk really need? A personal theme tune, of course!

choleric

Didn't he release that "Sorry" track already?

6
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018