Posts by macjules

Re: When to move abroad

Quick fix would be 650 odious scumbag MPs all mysteriously being strangled by their intestines at the same time.

Re: Not just business

Who the hell would pay £79 for a HDMI cable?

You are someone who is obviously not aware of home entertainment systems and how much they cost. To have various connections (Sky box, XBox, Apple TV etc.) in a side cupboard all linked up to an HDMI hub which then links to the TV - all concealed behind the wall - costs a lot of money. Naturally you do not want Maplin's cheapest cabling so the cables they install are fabric-sheathed gold-plated 5 metre ones. Cost per cable is way above £79.00 - more like £130.00 each.

Re: F&F discount

I used to do Virus removal for friends and family. Nowadays I tell them to throw the computer away and buy a new one: it will be cheaper than me spending 3 hours only to find that it was the ‘nice man who swore he was from BT tried to fix my computer and only charged me £200’.

Sloppy coding and deployments are run of the mill now, despite there being an abundance of security checklists for such common requirements as how to 'harden' response headers for Varnish or Cloudflare caching or how to set up SSL certificates. Lots of companies (TCS, Accenture to name just 2) often fail dismally at checking to see if a deployment from Test/UAT to production has removed development credentials etc.

This is usually coupled with a reluctance to pay the extortionate fees required for full penetration testing.

Done that so many times now that it is almost unreadable. In its latest incarnation I read it out in full to my wife, only to notice about half way through that she seemed to have dozed off.

Freelancers rarely survive on one skill. Not because there's not enough work available but because the people who hire freelancers insist on spreading out the work amongst lots of them.

That is because us freelancers are expected in this day and age to be able to do the following which is now euphemistically known as "Full Stack":

PHP SLASH .NET SLASH Python SLASH Ruby SLASH MongoDB SLASH MySQL SLASH MSSQL SLASH Kubenetes SLASH HTML/5 SLASH Make Coffee SLASH React Native SLASH ReactJS SLASH Angular SLASH VueJS SLASH Terraform SLASH AWS SLASH GCP SLASH Azure SLASH Any DevOps not included above SLASH Ability to show a broom up ones backside and clean the floor on your way out at night.

Re: "an offshore company"

No, the "address" was 9 Bollin Mews in Prestbury, near Macclesfield which was then hurriedly changed to Fleet Street, London at around 3 pm yesterday. The telephone number 020 8123 1379 seems to be a Skype number and gets answered in California.

Re: 600K

Every frothing ‘take-my-gun-from-my-cold-hand’ video has a 2 minute Jihadi ‘Join Daesh, See the world’ video preroll ad. Every Daesh ‘come and kill infidels’ video is prerolled by a 2 minute good ole bible thumping advert.

In other words, let their hate cancel each other out so that the rest of us can get on with our lives in peace.

The invoice is in the post. Bank of England bars of gold are welcome as remittance.

Re: Flaming idiot, social justice warrior and political hack

Was this a case of "NURSE, NURSE get this onto The Register NOW! No, I don't want more medication .. keep that syringe away from me."?

Re: Nice in principle..

And, most important, no Jim’ll Fix It.

Perhaps the BBC trustees should have an app that rewrites everything to say, “we are so sorry that your child was sexually abused by one of our employees”.

Re: If I make an emergency button and press it

May I echo that? Double on the mind bleach please.

Re: Look a bit closer to home

Actually I believe his Capital Management (SCM) is based in Ireland, not in the Caymans, but I understand the sentiment.

Re: Is this...

The Register might take umbrage at you comparing vultures to companies like Serco.

Even vultures have standards you know.

Is that any worse than giving 650 underpaid idiots in Westminster access to nuclear missiles?

Me too. JetBrains seem to bend backwards in order to accommodate everyone, from students to freelance developers to SME corps.

Re: Morons

Because those morons (and I'm looking at YOU TCS) do not know what security is, do not care that they do not know and even if they did would not know what to do about it.

"Other People's Money" and all that ..

Oh, and by the way has anyone looked at https://www.scotiabank.com/global/en/global-site.html and checked the response headers? Just saying, like.

Re: Apple's twin slogans

And nothing at all like "Sod the users". Come to think of it Apple are fast approaching the "doing a Ratner"* moment.

* Gerald Ratner managed to almost overnight bankrupt his nationwide chain of jewellery shops when he boasted at a public dinner that, "People say, "How can you sell this for such a low price?", I say, "because it's total crap.""

Re: So....

Nobody expects that.

Re: HS2, Crossrail, ITpfNHS

Quite so. My belief, founded upon experience of senior Whitehall cretins under secretaries, is that the standards they set are so optimistically high that they know service providers such as BT will not be able to deliver. Hence the nice job awaiting them at Ofcom, BT (and in particular their favourite which seems to be the BT Remuneration Committee .. strange that) where they will be able to 'advise' on how to work around the standards.

So it's trebles and knighthoods all round.

Re: An an Irishman

Really simple: impose an idiot tax on their products until enough idiots decide to switch to a rival product ... f**k did I say that?

I meant ‘ impose a tax above and beyond the existing Fanboi Fap Tax on their product’.

Re: Everything under control

The only time either experienced a swift, clean exit was when their wives threw them out.

Re: So...

He has famously prosecuted once in an episode, not surprisingly, called Rumple for the Prosecution

But I think it may be far more like Blackadder the Fourth and the Speckled Jim episode.

Re: A comet is what they want us to think.

Nah, It's Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B. Instead of telephone sanitisers it carries project managers, press release spokespersons and the entire marketing division of Golgafrinchanoogle.com

Be very afraid.

A vegan kebab is one where they can tell that you are completely legless so they don't put any meat in it.

Re: Taking the Trash

On the ninety-ninth floor?

Re: Yellowhammer's were nice yellow birds

It could be worse, they were going to call it "Operation National Suicide".

Re: The greatest jape

They are known as “Project Managers”. They get paid extortionate sums for organising daily stand ups, chiding developers about their ‘burn-down ratios’, creating meeting requests and not knowing how to use Jira properly.

Eventually their ability to use a computer fails and they start to use post-it notes on the first available white wall. Some can get away with this all their lives.