* Posts by macjules

834 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

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UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to ‘auto-takedown’ terror pages within 2 HOURS

macjules
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Re: Why not fuck off and sort out Brexit instead

Yeah, I'm just surprised that she has not banned the sale of Lidl carrier bags while she's at it.

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Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

macjules
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Re: So... what's the big point for slack?

Nice idea. An Indian DevOps doll perhaps? "Your S3 bucket is perfectly safe with me"

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Itching to stuff iOS 11 on your iPhone? You may want to hold off for a bit

macjules
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Re: Installed fine on all my devices. Seems a bit snappier too in operation

Me too. Then again iOS always seems faster on initial update, it is later on Apple load so much crap into it that it starts to slow down ... and then it's time for another update.

By the way, Addison Lee might want to update their iOS app to 64 bit.

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Viacom exposes crown jewels to world+dog in AWS S3 bucket blunder

macjules
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Re: What price security?

They might well be paying major-league digital agencies to run their digital services and devops, but those companies are mostly offshoring everything in order to maximise profits. The end result is that you get a contractor in Bangalore who "knows something about DevOps" and thus you end up with this situation.

Sadly this will not be the last case, has certainly not been the first and I daresay that there have been much worse (and kept hidden) cases than this which have resulted in data loss, user hijacking and fully compromised company security.

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Ofcom to crack down on telcos' handling of nuisance callers

macjules
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Re: Follow the money

"Ofcom to crack down on telcos' handling of nuisance callers"

And earlier on today it was all about how BT/EE have officially launched their legal challenge against Ofcom's spectrum proposals.

@Ofcom: you need a good PR man (James Henderson is available I hear) to explain to you how to package good news in order to deflect the bad news that you are trying to block. Press releases several hours later don't quite do it.

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Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

macjules
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Re: The silver coder version of message-passing

Ah, the Daily Mail. The only CMS with an 'Added Hatred To All People' plugin.

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macjules
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Thumb Up

Re: Came here to post a really witty comment

Came here with the same intention. Forgot it as the post was so damn well written and I (almost) spilled my Horlicks .. well .. glass of Margaux.

Thank you very much Verity for a damn good laugh.

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Samsung's Galaxy Note 8 is hot, but not much more than the S8+

macjules
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Re: Rendered irrelevant by the iPhone X...

You forgot to add that each iPhone X is lovingly caressed by Tim Cook and Jonny iVe before being packed.

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BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

macjules
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Re: In the words of Homer J Simpson:

"75% of 102 people agreed"

Actually it would more likely be "153 out of 204 people agreed" but that statistic looks like a a lot of people disagreed.

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Brit ministers jet off on a trade mission to tout our digital exports...

macjules
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We know the government’s commitment to growing the UK’s digital economy:

1) Tax everyone higher

2) Increase IR35 by another 20%

3) Make sure you can not offshore software development (bloody furriners stealing our Romanian contractors' jobs).

3) If a company is a success, we'll tax it some more.

4) If that company STILL is successful: Can I have a board job once I have fucked up the British economy?

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New HMRC IT boss to 'recuse' herself over Microsoft decisions

macjules
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Re: This stinks...

Yeah, run a Ponzi scheme for a few hundred million and you go to jail. Run a Ponzi scheme for an major economic power [stop laughing] and they give you a title.

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macjules
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Paris Hilton

Re: The words....

There can be absolutely no bad Word word that could be said about her. She has proven herself to be Excel excellent at every opportunity and we are very much looking forward to her joining our Teams teams. We can assure taxpayers that the Outlook outlook for them and for thieving scum HMRC is indeed bright.

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Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

macjules
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Err ..

By the way. The film featuring hovercraft is Die Another Day, not Tomorrow Never Dies, and they are Osprey 5 MKII hovercraft.

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User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

macjules
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By any chance ...

Would this council be Lambeth? Was called to rescue a very impressive Drupal 7 clusterf*ck some years ago which used the Color [sic] module to do exactly that - change environment theme colours. This was a council that also failed to comprehend what SSL is, as all their forms were unprotected.

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Unloved Microsoft Edge is much improved – but will anyone use it?

macjules
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Re: And its only Windows 10?

Even more real men just look at the headers .. curl

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

macjules
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Re: I'm waiting for the day

In the UK the judge panics and hides his stash of kiddy porn.

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Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

macjules
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Re: Did you expect anything else from Apple?

And not forgetting that Apple, very quietly I might add, just removed App functionality from iTunes. From now on you have to download apps directly onto your phone. I presume that this is to help those poor unfortunate mobile networks ...

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macjules
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Re: These "new" iPhones

Is the reason why they cost so much because each iPhoneX comes with a particle of Steve Jobs' ashes?

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Five ways Apple can fix the iPhone, but won't

macjules
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Where to start?

iOS WiFi pickup is awful.

Scenario: Travel from one stop to another on London Piccadilly line. At each stop a (relatively) cheap Honor Android phone Wifi is connecting as the train enters the station. iPhone frequently fails to connect at all.

Replacement Screens and AppleCare

Apple charge £119 per annum for AppleCare for an iPhone and then charge £25 per screen replacement .. on the presumption that you will only require one screen change per annum. The normal 'non warranty' screen replacement is £136, which means that you are probably better off not taking out AppleCare.

iOS usage and features

Try detailing every single iOS trick and feature on your own website for once. Stop making every single feature have to be 'discovered' as if by magic by MacWorld or any other fanboy websites.

iCloud Synchronisation with Windows

Yes, some people really do own a Windows computer AND an iPhone. Once they have got over the shock perhaps Apple might do something in iCloud like tell people, "Oh, by the way Two Factor Auth does not work with Windows, so your contacts and calendar might not be in sync on Outlook"

I could go on and on ad nauseam.

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Atlassian kills God, rebrands as a mountain, a structurally unsound 'A' or a high five

macjules
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Re: Money

Hmm, Actually it looks more like 2 knives being sharpened up. No doubt inspired by "What happens to developers when they dare to question their project manager"

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macjules
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Facepalm

"a mountain ready for teams to scale"

Does that mean we should be using Basecamp instead?

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Massive iPhone X leak trashes Apple's 10th anniversary circus

macjules
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Re: Is "iPhone X" the actual name?

I'm waiting for the iPhoneXIT

(actually I am waiting for the fanboy downvotes now)

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macjules
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Re: Apple has redrawn the poo emoji

Mr Pratchett would be proud of you sir.

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Capita still hasn't found what its looking for: A CEO

macjules
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LOL! Definite + for that one!

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macjules
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That job is MINE already I tell thee!

1) I have experience of working on the dark side (Capita freelancer for 3 months some years ago)

2) I have extensive knowledge of how to plummet the depths of GDS.

3) I know how to price up an MoD contract ("I know we quoted £40m but costs .. you know how it is .. £4Bn ok?")

4) I can cost-margin a webpage: "Under construction" page mate? A snip at £23.8m with £200k off*

* Yes really - data.gov Acquia Marina Drupal theme holding page, 1 logo plus some text for £23.8m billable cost.

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Boffins: 68 exoplanets in prime locations to SPY on humanity on Earth

macjules
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Re: Fait accompli, mate

Let's face it, if you were picking up stray transmission of The X Factor or Keeping up with the Kardashians wouldn't you stick a metaphorical "idiots live here" tag on your Guide to the Galaxy?

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London Tube tracking trial may make commuting less miserable

macjules
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Headline should be ..

UK public body gets it right for once. I am amazed that they got someone in who knows about ICO guidelines and data security.

Perhaps TalkTalk or even Equifax might want to ask TfL who the contractor is?

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

macjules
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I would be more worried about the on-board Kaspersky AV software ...

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Red panic: Best Buy yanks Kaspersky antivirus from shelves

macjules
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Paris Hilton

Re: National security

They just get a better class of porn.

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Atlassian releases 'Stride', because HipChat isn't hip enough to whack Slack

macjules
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Re: But....

When in doubt: uninstall and go back to Slack. I get bewildered now by the Skype/Teams/Lync combo where they all try to get you to install their chat client for conferencing and you just end up using a telephone.

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macjules
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Presumably it was going to be called " 'Strine" then.

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Mexican tax refund site left 400GB of sensitive customer info wide open

macjules
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Coat

Obviously forgot to build a (fire)wall ..

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FBI probing Uber over use of 'Hell' spyware to track rival biz Lyft

macjules
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Re: RICO

And obviously drug dealing as well. There is a definite subliminal message there that arrests were made in Portland, Oregon, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and Austin. I hope they get all the Poppas.

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House Reps grease the wheels for hundreds of thousands of robo-cars on America's streets

macjules
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Coat

Once the Safely Ensuring Lives Future Deployment and Research In Vehicle Evolution Act has been read it will undoubtedly move up to the SENile Association of Tax Evaders and then it will be sent to the WHy am I this signing this shiTE when I sHould be on the golf cOUrSE?

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Brit aviation regulator is hiring a space 'n' drones manager

macjules
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Re: citing space flight, unmanned aircraft and cybersecurity

"What's David Cameron doing these days?"

Sitting at home, licking his wounds as per doctor's Rupert Murdoch's orders.

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macjules
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Preferred experience:

1) Must have own drone

2) Ability to demonstrate working knowledge of LOHAN

3) Should not burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter when a minister mentions the "British Space Exploration Programme".

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What's your flava? Ooo, tell me what's your flava... of Ubuntu

macjules
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Facepalm

If I pirate a copy of Ubuntu 17.10 ... am I a budgie smuggler?

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15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

macjules
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"Well if it is an alien communication beacon or propulsion system, they've fucked up. I imagine they have cooked themselves with it quite nicely, along with everything else in their galaxy."

You have obviously never been to a Hotblack Desato gig then.

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macjules
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Re: But sadly...

It's all because of this bloody planet that keeps wanting to leave the Empire. They sent their chief negotiator D'dvd Dvi|es to try and blackmail the Emperor so it has been necessary to teach the planet 'a lesson'.

D'dvd Dvi|es: "I didn't know we had an extra moon"

Imperial negotiator: "That's no moon"

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China crackdown: VPN vendor gets prison

macjules
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" ... in line with its policy of adhering to local laws."

Those would include the 'normal' 12 hour days x 6 day weeks, double security checks, low wages, working environments that make McDonalds look benevolent, anti-suicide precautions (but only to prevent depressed workers falling into the machinery) and so on.

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Paris Hilton inflates crypto bubble some more, backs Initial Coin Offering

macjules
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Paris Hilton

.. she will back an Initial Coin Offering ..

"Paris Hilton has announced she will back an Initial Coin Offering venture."

Does she actually understand that? Icon .. well, you have to don't you?

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UK.gov unveils six areas to pilot full-fat fibre, and London ain't on the list

macjules
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Re: Two Britains?

Don't forget that London mostly voted to remain in Europe. Naughty, naughty London: no fibre for you. Second richest area on the planet (Holland Park) and average broadband speeds are 4mbit max..

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Well, whad'ya know? 'No evidence' that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower

macjules
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Re: Twitler lied?

Or more like "You let Dougal do a funeral?"

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80% of IT projects in public sector delayed due to IR35 – report

macjules
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How could this possibly end up not costing them more than the amount 'raised'?

You missed the government calculations for "Amount Saved". It works something like this:

Year 1 savings: -100%

Year 2 savings: -99%

Year 3 savings: -98%

Year 4 savings following Capita review and increase in contract value as 3% saved: -150%

Year 5: General Election year so Amount Saved revised to "100% saved"

(BTW, this really does happen)

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Big Tech slams Trump on plan to deport kids

macjules
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W.H.Auden summed this up in just 2 lines:

When he laughed, respectable senators burst with laughter,

And when he cried the little children died in the streets.

Curiously appropriate with Donald Trump.

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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

macjules
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Re: Hipsters

"Remember when good products didn't need a "mission"?"

Now you just stick the adjective 'smart' in front of anything. I am quite thankful that they did not progress to level 2 and use 'intelligent'

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

macjules
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Re: Obession with (free) Wi-Fi

VyprVPN does it all for you for under $50 per annum.

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

macjules
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Re: I wonder

Oh dear, The Wheel of Time was one of the HBO considerations for a Game of Thrones replacement until Sony snapped it up. I suppose one should be thankful that at least the books are finished, and even then only just.

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