* Posts by macjules

1407 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

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Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

macjules
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Given the number of ex Tory staffers at the Daily Maul I might consider rephrasing that one. "something stiffer" might indeed bring tears to your eyes.

As they say at the Mail on Sunday: "Don't drop the soap and bend over in the shower".

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Elon Musk, his arch nemesis DeepMind swear off AI weapons

macjules
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Black Helicopters

Assume air of innocence ..

.. whistle, and slowly push autonomous, combination mini-gun and anti-personnel missile launcher plans under carpet.

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Will this biz be poutine up the cash? Hackers demand dosh to not leak stolen patient records

macjules
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FAIL

Re: Don't bother paying the dosh

1) https://www.google.com/?q=inurl:%2Findex.cfm

2) Follow the instructions on CVE-2016-4264

That exploit is over 2 years old, so if they didn't have an SLA in place for updates to their site then more shame upon them.

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Official: The shape of the smartphone is changing forever

macjules
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Unhappy

Wouldn't it be nice ..

... if they could all agree on one standard of fragile, glass casing so that the cost of replacing shattered screens could be reduced?

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What's in a name? For Cambridge Analytica, about a quid apparently

macjules
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Re: 'coyuldnt hear for the champaig corks bing remved round here'

Low tier staff were shit-canned.

Nope. Employed about 4 of them straight away .. no notice and could start next Monday. CamAnal paid most of them a flat £10k ex tax when they knew they were going down.

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Capita strikes again: Bug in UK-wide school info management system risks huge data breach

macjules
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Re: Crapita

Hey, at least they admit it now:

Capita

Educational

Support

Services

Professional

Infrastructure

Team

Do you really need them to actually spell it out?

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You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

macjules
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FAIL

Re: Again?

My IP is clearly identifiable as my company via a simple ARIN lookup and the Lat/Long co-ordinates pinpoint the originating office. (Well, enough to localise it)

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macjules
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Facepalm

Re: Again?

Umm, did you consider GDPR when doing this?

window.dpmPixels[0].updateUserVariable({

"country_code": "826",

"city": "london",

"latitude": "51.5154",

"ipAddress": "MYIPADDRESS",

"appnexusId": "0",

"dma": "826044",

"uuid": "63573e4609b6875bd32c1502b4328fc1db5641b5",

"longitude": "-0.092461"

});

Not really sure you should be harvesting this ..

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‘Elders of the Internet’ apologise for social media, recommend Trump filters to fix it

macjules
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Unhappy

Re: Man-"kind"

Perhaps this should be followed up by an apology from CERN for their April 1993 statement. Something along the lines of, "Yes we know we said the World Wide Web would be free to anyone, but we didn't consider that the average troll could actually use a keyboard, let alone know how to switch on their computer. Sorry about that.".

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Do you really want your kids' future in the hands of Capita? Well, too bad

macjules
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FAIL

Re: Why?

Because we have an even bigger bunch of Yahoos in charge of the contracts for Capita.

There is nothing more appealing to a "Civil Servant" than having its ego massaged by Capita contracts division saying, "let us handle all of this for you and rest assured we can do it for far, far less than you would have to pay to do it in-house"

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Former wig-wearing Twitterphobe replaces Hancock as UK.gov's Secretary of Fun

macjules
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Paris Hilton

Re: Some good news, at least

Well, we are getting there it seems. We have a Hammond and a May in the pack, and now we have a Jeremy. The fact that his surname is Hunt is, for the BBC at least, just one letter away from Clarkson.

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macjules
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The new NHS app will be in safe hands!

Which one would that be? Cypher (formerly Silent Secret) - the anonymous peer-to-peer social network?

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Vodafone emits new wearable ... kid-trackers

macjules
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Re: Life imitating art?

More creepy than that: Black Mirror Arkangel (S4 E2).

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

macjules
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I suspect that someone has a Word auto-correct problem with 'rectal' versus 'retinal'.

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macjules
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Go

Get out more?

In fact, I've been watching the little blue circle wobble around the streets for hours.

No disrespect Mr Dabbs, but you really need to get out more. You'll start spending your days watching https://www.flightradar24.com next

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Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

macjules
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Re: If only...

The trains are all delayed due to 'signal problems', yet you can still get a wifi signal on the train. Can't they put the signal boxes on the same network?

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Spidey sense is literally tingling! Arachnids detect Earth's electric field, use it to fly away

macjules
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Wonder what would happen if you used graphene as the material - how much could you lift?

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Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

macjules
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Re: Only cracking I have done is

I once was given a batch of Zenith Data Systems 286 boxes to try and "recover" (auction lot, no idea of passwords). Luckily I had a very clever local sysadmin who told me to follow these steps:

1) Switch off the computer

2) Open the box

3) Unplug the floppy drive form the main board

4) Start the computer

5) You are now in the BIOS.

6) Reset the password and switch off the computer

7) Plug the floppy drive back in

8) Voila!

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Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

macjules
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Re: Pulled the emergency stop on a S/38

Sometimes they do not work. I once had to install a series of Dell servers plus a Mac server for the company's graphics artists. One of the requirements was "A great big Emergency Power Off button please", but realising that this is actually an invite to disaster (if it is there then someone will push it in error) I disconnected it from the server. So, nice big shiny red button with a cover over it, warning notice pasted on the wall above and trunking running down the wall to the power supply. In reality the EPO was a switch outside the server room right beside the Halon release button.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2007-12-06

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We might be skimming the Surface, but it looks like Microsoft's readying a wallet-friendly device

macjules
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Re: GPD Pocket

Nope.

It's a Microsoft SurfaceX.

It is made out of glass. It has a notch at the top. It has USB-C and runs Windows 10 Pro Mobile version.

Unlike the rather similar-sounding device from a popular Microsoft rival this one only costs $500 and less than $100 to replace the glass every time you stick it in your back pocket.

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macjules
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Re: A Microsoft spokesperson told El Reg: "We have nothing to share on this."

... it's not Apple.

Some of us thank God for it.

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IBM wins five-year whole-of-government deal with Australia

macjules
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FAIL

“significant savings"

Australia’s government is also spinning it as a win, citing “significant savings over the next five years”.

Bet they won't be saying that in 5 years time.

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Apple is Mac-ing on enterprise: Plans strategic B2B alliance with HPE

macjules
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Devil

Translation Required:

1) track record as a Strategic Partner Manager - but not for Microsoft, Google or Facebook please.

2) be an “expert at presenting” - you know PowerPoint well

3) bring “integrity, honesty and accountability in all that you do, every day. - see 1 above, that's why we don't want anyone from Facebook

4) You are a trusted advisor who does what you say you’ll do - and always do what is best for Apple - Do what we say, when we say it ... or else.

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Who fancies a six-core, 128GB RAM, 8TB NVMe … laptop?

macjules
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Re: What does it run?

Multiple drives, multiple bootable OS types ergo no need for VMWare.

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IBM fired me because I'm not a millennial, says axed cloud sales star in age discrim court row

macjules
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No, they gave her a helicopter instead.

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We just love small firms, screams UK.gov after palming AWS UK £4.1m

macjules
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Not me. According to AWS I am now a part of AWS Europe and not AWS UK. I believe that this has something to do with GDPR and AWS' obligations, or responsibilities, as a provider of hosting. By breaking the monolith into country branches they can presumably only be hit for a percentage of turnover for that branch.

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'Coding' cockup blamed for NHS cough-up of confidential info against patients' wishes

macjules
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GDPR?

More like "Generously Donating Patient Records to anyone who asks".

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The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

macjules
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Re: Notch isn't so bad

I have an iPhone X (lovely phone squire, lovely. Look at the plumage). Why does it need a notch? Why couldn't the camera be on one side and the speaker integrated into the top of the phone?

Oh, and the screen cracked. Not a great problem as I have AppleCare, but if I didn't it is a whopping £286 each time to have it replaced. And there was me believing the hype that sapphire glass was stronger than normal glass.

I feel so stupid sometimes for trusting a company that sells you a phone made out of glass and then convinces you that it will never break.

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A £1.3m prize for a plunging share price at BT? Not so fast...

macjules
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Re: Performance targets

“BT’s Remuneration Committee always seeks to ensure that pay is aligned with performance. It is firmly of the view that decisions taken this year around pay are fair and appropriate."

MRDA, or Mandy Rice Davies Applies: When James Burge, the defence counsel, pointed out that Lord Astor denied an affair or having even met her, Mandy Rice Davies dismissed the denial by stating, "Well he would say that, wouldn't he?"

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When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

macjules
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Re: If its mission critical

Totally agree. If something is that mission critical then you should being a Platform as a Service provider cloud and not just one single 'supplier', such as Google or AWS. A good PaaS provider is spread over all platforms, such as Azure, AWS, Google or even the mobile providers.

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Flipping 'ell, Dell! IT giant preps to go public again, files its homework

macjules
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Re: Capitalism

Can we possibly say that this is a Dell floating in the deep?

Geddit?

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Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

macjules
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Re: A leading zero? Wow! Never thought of that.

In the north you have the Telepass system for petrol, parking and autostrada. Can’t speak for the rest of the country as I do not really go further south than Firenze.

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macjules
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Re: English?

My eldest is now in Tokyo doing a year’s exchange. Absolutely loves being there: non-existent crime, flawless transport and everything actually works!

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Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

macjules
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Re: Missed the obvious one

Clippy McGitface?

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IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

macjules
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2 words: Potemkin Village

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Amazon’s Snowball snowballs as Google's clone gets real and IBM's comes to Europe

macjules
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Devil

Xbox?

Microsoft also has a Snowball clone in the form of the Azure Data Box.

Knew there was a use for all this warehoused Xbox and Surface rejects.

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A year after devastating NotPetya outbreak, what have we learnt? Er, not a lot, says BlackBerry bod

macjules
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Coat

Re: Bollocks

Quite apt ..

. Reckitt Benckiser – the firm behind the Dettol and Durex brands – said the attack cost it £100m ($136m)

Then again, they bounced back ok.

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Hipster horror! Slack has gone TITSUP: Total inability to support user procrastination

macjules
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WTF?

You means Slack doesn't run on Azure??

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Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU

macjules
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Re: Brexit means Brexit

"Minister for Defence Procurement Guto Bebb"

Has someone in the House of Commons started using Star Wars names for ministers, by any chance? I think that we should be told.

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

macjules
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Re: Many things but not a traitor to the US

That never prevented American-born Irish William Joyce (Lord Haw-Haw) being executed as a traitor by Britain, despite never having been British.

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UK taxman has amassed voice profiles of 5.1 million taxpayers

macjules
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That is the golden rule of Capita and (we don't give) ATOS: we don't want to screw people who might actually attack us, so we'll just take all the benefits away from those too meek to argue.

Looking after someone who has gone through a truly awful back injury and was judged 'fit to work' by ATOS, trust me: I f*cking celebrate every time I hear another Capita employee has been made redundant or another Capita contract has failed. The world is a better place without these bastards.

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macjules
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"For your continued security please provide us with the answers to these 2 simple questions:

1) What do fish breathe through? (Gill)

2) What is Britain's favourite drink (Tea)

Now, in regards to the outstanding £5000 on your tax account how do you wish to plead?

I have recorded your response of Gill Tea, is that correct?"

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macjules
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"HMRC ... is developing a new process which will be operated on the basis of the explicit consent of the customer."

That means exactly the opposite. By the time Brexit has happened any 'civil rights' (oxymoron warning) of UK citizens subjects HMRC, along with most other departments, will have been able to exempt themselves from any liability.

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GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep

macjules
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Re: How?

3 steps

1) git clone git@github.com:capita/anotherproject.git

2) cd anotherproject.git

3) git remote add upstream https://USER@bitbucket.org/USER/PROJECT.git

I mention BB since we are now transitioning everything away from both GitLab and (self hosted) Github. Not at all surprised to hear GitLab was hosted on Azure after the complete fiasco last year.

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So you're doing an IoT project. Cute. Let's start with the basics: Security

macjules
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Re: Am I the only person....who wants to smack IoT developers over the head with a large brick ?

I prefer "npm users".

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macjules
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Re: Am I the only person...

Make sure it's an IoT-enabled brick,

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Amazon, eBay and pals agree to Europe's other GDPR: Generally Dangerous Products Removed from websites

macjules
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Black Helicopters

Consumers should be just as safe when they buy online, as when they buy in a shop. I welcome the Product Safety Pledge which will further improve consumer safety.

I suppose that if we want to make in-store shopping like online shopping we should place cameras right over where the point where you enter your PIN number, have sales assistants that nag you with, "hey you bought that: how about buying this as well?" and promises to deliver your purchases at a time and date guaranteed to not suit you.

Oh, and the store has no security at all, leaves its doors unlocked at night and keeps your credit card details in a bucket marked 'S3' in the basement.

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It's getting more and more Azure'd: For Microsoft, sorry seems to be the hardest word

macjules
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Curse you global warming!

Microsoft announced an additional two data centre regions in Norway – one in Oslo and one in the Stavanger region.

Based upon what happened when the temperature soared in Ireland, what happens when a heatwave strikes Southern Norway then? Why not just go for broke and create a data centre in Tromsø?

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El Reg works with Byte Night to put techies out on the streets

macjules
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No, Jenny Agutter is smiling and looks aline. Theresa May can not smile and the permanent grey skin tone implies that she has long been deceased.

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Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

macjules
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Re: I'm not sure I trust health advice from Sally Hawkins

IIRC 'sleeping with the fishes" didn't work too well with Luca Brasi in The Godfather.

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