* Posts by macjules

1564 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

Capita, Serco, Sopra Steria to write cheat-sheets for UK.gov in case they collapse

macjules
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FAIL

Getting your "priorities" right ..

Priorities here include supporting small businesses, providing employment opportunities for disadvantaged people and reducing harm to the environment.

Crapita: "We're too busy destroying state infrastructure to worry about small businesses"

HySteria: "We didn't dump THAT much waste on the environment, did we?"

Sercon: "We employ lots of disadvantaged people in our prisons"

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Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked

macjules
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Re: Turning it off and on again

Because with Windows Vista, "turning if off" usually mean that it did not turn back on again afterwards.

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macjules
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Re: Compound problem

Build with confidence with 99.99% VM uptime

Translation: We think we know what an SLA is but we just never thought it might apply to us.

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Azure, Office 365 go super-secure: Multi-factor auth borked in Europe, Asia, USA

macjules
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Re: Damnit!

Could be worse, you could have MFA problems AND have your resource_groups located in either Texas or West Europe.

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Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

macjules
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Re: As someone who currently designs chip-enabled cat interface devices...

I believe you can get a cat flap that is app enabled

Does your cat prefer to use an iPhone or an Android?

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Alphabet gives bipedal robots the Schaft 'cos no one wants to buy its creepy machine maker

macjules
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Devil

all tasks likely to be beyond the capability of a Google executive

How did it do in the sexual harassment, lewd comment making or gender discrimination tests?

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Court doc typo 'reveals' Julian Assange may have been charged in US

macjules
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Re: Guess he's screwed then, as he always knew he was...

He wouldn't have to worry about cleaning up the toilet there, he would have been flushed down it long ago.

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macjules
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Re: Well he's a bit of an arse, but...

It must be terrible to know that he always was quite right, they really are out to get him.

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Bright spark dev irons out light interference

macjules
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Re: Have you ever put something apparently useless to good use?

My wife says that she puts put something apparently useless to good use every time I bring the shopping in from the car.

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Russia: We did not hack the US Democrats. But if we did, we're immune from prosecution... lmao

macjules
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Re: They are Russian

What a really stupid thing to write. There has never ever been any form of evidence that the Polish cavalry had some form of 88mm horse-mounted anti-tank guns (or maybe you think they all had LAWS anti-tank missiles in those days).

Just for your information:

The 18th Pomeranian Uhlans spotted a group of German infantry resting in a clearing in the Tuchola Forest heath near the railroad crossroads of Chojnice – Runowo Pomorskie line.

Colonel Kazimierz Mastalerz decided to take the enemy by surprise and ordered Eugeniusz Świeściak, commander of the 1st squadron, to execute a cavalry charge at 1900 hours, leading two squadrons, about 250 strong. Most of the two other squadrons, and their TKS/TK3 tankettes, were held back in reserve.

The charge was successful: the German infantry unit was dispersed, and the Poles occupied the clearing. However, German armored reconnaissance vehicles appeared from the forest road, probably part of Aufklärungs-Abteilung 20, and soon the Polish units came under heavy machine gun fire, probably from Leichter Panzerspähwagen equipped with MG 34, or Schwerer Panzerspähwagen equipped also with a 20 mm gun. The Poles were completely exposed and began to gallop for cover behind a nearby hillock.

Commander Świeściak was killed, as was Mastalerz, who tried to save him. About a third of the Polish force was dead or wounded. On the other hand, the German advance was halted long enough to allow the withdrawal of Polish 1st Rifle battalion and National Defence battalion Czersk from the nearby battle of Chojnice.

Enjoy a down vote you retard.

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Oi, Elon: You Musk sort out your Autopilot! Tesla loyalists tell of code crashes, near-misses

macjules
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Unhappy

Re: Whisper it…

Disagree. Have you owned a Tesla car at all?

I owned a Model S from early 2014, i.e. before they were introduced mainstream into Europe, and sold it last year. With the possible exceptions of occasional failed software updates which effectively bricked the car until they corrected it, it ran absolutely amazingly. I can not fault it as a car, I just do not like the company that uses its owners to try and force you to sign up your friends and family to ownership.

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iPhone XS: Just another £300 for a better cam- Wait, come back!

macjules
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Gimp

Re: 6 -> XS

I have an iPhone X, bought in typical fanboi mode "since its a bloody Apple product, init?". Apart from not quite comprehending that glass screens can break and the horrendous cost involved if you do not have AppleCare, I must say that this is the best iPhone I have ever owned by far.

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Cheeky cheesemaker fails to copyright how things taste

macjules
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Perhaps you should try their cheeses actually in the Netherlands, and not the awful English concoctions that are sold here under the pretence of being Dutch cheeses. Give it a try, you might even that that it tastes Gouda :)

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Eye eye! AI could stop blindness, Facebook's after math, and how to get started in the ML biz

macjules
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Paris Hilton

It’s all in the eyes: DeepMind are working with the Moorfields Eye Hospital in London, UK, to see if AI systems can predict the onset of eye diseases.

By “AI” I presume you mean parents stopping their ternage children from doing too much of what teenage children tend to do?

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Can your rival fix it as fast? turns out to be ten-million-dollar question for plucky support guy

macjules
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Re: I'm just going to say...

Upvote as I really feel your pain.

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macjules
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Megaphone

Re: I'm just going to say...

Know the feeling. Absolute awful week so far ... and this morning I just found that someone built a presentation site for one of our top clients in FLASH. Not only that but the developer then added a javascript override so that there would not be any awkward messages such as "Flash is a virus, are you sure you want to run it?"

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Brit boffins build 'quantum compass'... say goodbye to those old GPS gizmos, possibly

macjules
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Re: It's not a compass.

The MoD are funding it, so I'll guess never, even if it turns out to have no military applications.

Just so long as it runs on Windows ME or even Windows XP then it will be fine.

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My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

macjules
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Holmes

After a quick inventory check in "the cupboard that bears no name"

2x 88Mb Syquest drives (SCSI)

1x 200Mb Syquest Drive (SCSI)

Iomega Jaz drive (SCSI)

USB 3.5" Floppy Drive *

1 Fujitsu 3.5" optical drive

Various assorted SCSI/10B2 terminators, T pieces, ultra think cabling etc

Lots of AppleTalk "network" cabling and UI connectors

And most prized possession of all: a Quadra 650 complete with 80Mb HD, 8Mb RAM and a 2Mb Radius graphics card.

* Because I bought a blue G3 with no floppy drive and then bought an Epson colour printer with RIP that required you to have a floppy drive to install the software.

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How one programmer's efforts to stop checking in buggy code changed the DevOps world

macjules
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Fantastic software, but ...

Jenkins has not really had an update for many years. It is still a total nightmare to configure it, to create projects and to administrate. We do most of our CI within Bitbucket or GitLab pipes and just use Jenkins where there is a need for multiple repos to be integrated, or where there is a need for remote SSH on a production server, for example.

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This just in: What? No, I can't believe it. The 2018 MacBook Air still a huge pain to have repaired

macjules
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Thanks but ..

As a dedicated Mac fanboi ... I will stay with my new Acer Swift 5 Pro Ultra-Thin Touch.

So long Apple, and thanks for all the phish ...

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Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

macjules
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Re: Putting On The Ritz

And talking of hands ... isn't it handy that he doesn't live in that industrial suburb of Bern known as Wankdorf?

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Worldwide Web wizard Tim Berners-Lee sticks wellington boot into Worldwide Web's giants: Time to break 'em up?

macjules
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Re: Interesting point about Twitter

Unfortunately an arsehole is an arsehole is an arsehole, regardless of the technology you use. There have been ‘Angry Of Tunbridge Wells’ around since a monk worked out how to paint illuminated manuscripts, and I just bet that even then there would have been an Abbott from a rival monastery downvoting the latest copy of the bible ...

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Mourning Apple's war against sockets? The 2018 Mac mini should be your first port of call

macjules
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1) El Reg is one of the bastions for Apple bashing, so less of the ‘bigging up’ please.

2) I am (despite the monicker) not a great Mac fan, but the Mac Mini is a bloody nice computer. In this day and age I can give freelancer developers a good, fast (i7 plus 32Gb RAM) machine for around £1000 that beats a MacBook Pro costing over double that. Added to that I can lock all the computers up in a desk drawer at the end of the day.

Enjoy a downvote Sir.

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Chuck this on expenses: £2k iPad paints Apple as the premium fondleslab specialist – as planned

macjules
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Re: 2000 quid?

Would get me a very nice ASUS laptop, slimmer and faster than a MacBook Air, plus a 4k screen from the loose change. I might even stretch to buying a copy of RHEL Workstation for it.

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Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

macjules
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Angel

Ghost in the machine?

I hope that as and when I shuffle off this mortal coil that I will be doing something more interesting in the afterlife than haunting Miss Amethyst Realm's vibrator.

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IBM sits draped over the bar at The Cloud or Bust saloon. In walks Red Hat

macjules
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Re: Clouded vision

Look no further than what happened to Solaris at Oracle.

Every day I dread hearing that Oracle have done to MySQL what they did to Solaris.

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The 'roid in Spain drills mainly on the plain: Plucky Brit Mars robot laps up sun, sand and, er, simulated science

macjules
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Re: One thing Brexit won't hurt

Well, I suppose that all depends upon whether you land upon the EU-controlled areas of Mars or the WTO-controlled areas.

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Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

macjules
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Re: I've seen a definite uptick in these

he is now panicking about the time he accidentally filmed himself in 4K while having a shit.

This is far too much information.

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The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time

macjules
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Re: Ethernet 10base2

Ah the joys of 10B2, where one idiot had always simply plugged the last node directly into a computer and thus failed to terminate the chain.

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Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

macjules
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Happy

Original:

Buenos días señor Assange. Le agradeceríamos mucho si pudiera abstenerse de dejar a su gato defecar en nuestro piso.

English:

Good morning Mr Assange. We would very much appreciate it if you could refrain from letting your cat defecate on our floor.

Aussie Translation:

G'day mate, stop letting your cat shit on the floor.

There, FTFY.

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Bitbucket wobbles but it won't fall. Oh, snap...

macjules
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Re: I don't really mind, but…

If you think BitBucket has problems then try the 'new', 'improved' Jira then. It is slow as hell, unresponsive and it has taken me around 2 weeks to work out where all the administration tools are now kept. This pretty much without any assistance from Atlassian, or where their help systems are still not updated.

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Yer a solicitor, 'arry! Indian uni takes cues from 'Potterverse' to teach students law

macjules
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Happy

Let's hope that ..

They learn the differences between demurrer and dementor or indeed malfeasance and Malfoy,

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F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

macjules
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Re: FFS

Also a bit of an embuggerance if you happen to be in Scunthorpe, Brown Willy in Cornwall or indeed Dicks Mount, Suffolk.

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GitHub.com freezes up as techies race to fix dead data storage gear

macjules
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Happy

Re: storage

Never mind. Users can always switch to GitLab.

Oh, wait ..

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I ship you knot: 2,400-year-old Greek trading vessel found intact at bottom of Black Sea

macjules
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Re: Leave it there

Wait till they find the golden fleece onboard ..

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Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

macjules
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Come on opening an unlocked door is not breaking in.

"Breaking" doesn't actually require that anything be "broken" in terms of physical damage. Someone who has permission to enter part of a house, but not another part, commits a breaking and entering when they use any means to enter a room where they are not permitted.

Scenario: Capita's Uninvited eNforcement Team enters your home to see if you have a TV, is that illegal entry if you left your door open?

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Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

macjules
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Re: What about the stuff that we really don't want...

@ Roland6

If you had come to Windows 7 via the Windows Vista route then you would have fallen crying with relief at seeing Windows 7 install and start up.

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Leaked memo: No internet until you clean your bathroom, Ecuador told Julian Assange

macjules
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3rd world countries must be laughing at our hypocrisy.

Nope, those are the ones hosting him and asking him to clean up the loo afterwards. Perhaps you should go round there and help him clean his loo? Stand firm, democracy needs you!

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The mysterious life of Luc Esape, bug fixer extraordinaire. His big secret? He's not human

macjules
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Terminator

Re: And for the next trick...

No. Absolutely not. It would be totally unfair to expose a bot to Windows' code, the AI would be bound to remember what it was forced to do and many years later humanity would cease to exist as a result.

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macjules
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Re: The title is no longer required.

The litmus test would be to correct code that Linus Torvalds had pushed to build, abuse notwithstanding.

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UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

macjules
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Black Helicopters

Traceable access Logs?

... content providers should keep logs of access for a period of six months to a year to guarantee the BBFC could trace “every age verification to its original source”. Of course, Ageify is developing such a solution and is "ready to showcase it whenever needed”.

I can just see the round-robin household letters where the BBFC demands to know who accessed www.kardashianswithdonkeys.com on such and such a date, just because they have a record of that IP in their access.log files.

Perhaps Capita might get the contract to enforce access ...

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Bloodhound Super-Sonic-Car lacks Super-Sonic-Cashflow

macjules
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Re: "a jet aircraft without wings at those high speeds at 0 ft"

You can easily find Navy jets breaking the sound barrier very close to the surface - nice photos and vides of the compression waves are taken - so, really nothing impressive.

Sadly, not in the UK .. not even with the POS F-35

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GCHQ asks tech firms to pretty please make IoT devices secure

macjules
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Thumb Down

Hahaha!

The use of open, peer-reviewed internet standards is strongly encouraged. Primarily applies to: Device Manufacturers, IoT Service Providers, Mobile Application Developers

Good luck with that one guys. "Peer Review" with that lot usually means "Oops, I just Peed all over your standards. Soz about that"

Devices and services should be configured such that personal data can easily be removed from them when there is a transfer of ownership, when the consumer wishes to delete it and/or when the consumer wishes to dispose of the device. Consumers should be given clear instructions on how to delete their personal data.

Tried that one with JLR (Jaguar Landrover Rangerover) recently, have you? Thought not.

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Cabinet Office: Forget about Verify – look at our 3,000 designers (and 56 meetups)

macjules
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Re: Doug Adams was right

Aren't you supposed too be able to fit the entire population of the Earth onto the Isle of Wight?

Yes. So long as you EITHER have good vertical stacking abilities OR decide upon Global Thermonuclear War as your game of choice ("Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?"). Post GTW you could probably fit most of the population of planet Earth on the Isle of Wight, with room to spare.

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Bloke gets six months for fixing up Russia's US election trolls with bank accounts, fake identities

macjules
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Re: When does the UK start sentencing people?

When are we going to see sentences for people who have been meddling in the UK's electoral processes?

I agree, but in all likelihood the stiffest sentence we would see from our noble judiciary would be along the lines of, "Now run along and don't be a naughty boy again". Then again, 6 months in choke in the USA seems to be almost that .. when compared against some of the sentences we have seen handed out in the USA for what appeared to be relatively minor crimes.

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UK.gov withdraws life support from flagship digital identity system

macjules
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Well, Damian Green MP is a well-known downloader of pornography.

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Convenient switch hides an inconvenient truth

macjules
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Re: is that it?

What's the quickest solve you’ve ever made in a tech support crisis?

User: "The screen is black"

Me: "Can you switch the computer on please?"

User:"Oh, that fixed it, thanks"

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Where can I hide this mic? I know, shove it down my urethra

macjules
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Thumb Up

Re: Dear God

Definitely one of the better rants.

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UK pins 'reckless campaign of cyber attacks' on Russian military intelligence

macjules
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Re: Every one spies

FSB/KGB hated GRU with a passion as I recall from the 1980’s

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