* Posts by macjules

1628 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

The Iceman cometh, his smartwatch told the cops: Hitman jailed after gizmo links him to Brit gangland slayings

macjules Silver badge

Re: A lesson

a fitness fanatic, sous-chef, and family man

Why does the name "Jamie Oliver" spring to mind?

Black Horse slowed down: Lloyds Banking Group confirms problem with 'Faster' payments

macjules Silver badge
Coat

Re: Faster Payments...

They should have called it : No payments...

Or "Black Horse Down"

Outlook Mobile heads to the White House, passes infosec clearance for federal sector

macjules Silver badge

Re: We'll all benefit

He’s been surprisingly quiet for the past few days. Presumably he had to eat all the leftover burgers.

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

macjules Silver badge

Re: So that is why it starts

Simple way to avoid them coming after you then: pour some water on the floor of your hotel corridor.

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

macjules Silver badge

Interviewer to JF Kennedy: "What is the difference between a rocket and a missile?"

Kennedy: "Attitude."

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

macjules Silver badge
Coat

Re: One ring to rule them all?

Why don't we just tell them that the answer is 42 and stop all funding?

Army had 'naive' approach to Capita's £1.3bn recruiting IT contract, MPs told

macjules Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Actually...

No you are all so wrong, Capita are a lovely caring company that goes the extra mile to help their contracts: Jonathan Lewis said so and he should know! They stand to lose £86m on a £1.3Bn contract through no fault at all of their own, so please think of the poor staff working for no money but purely for the joy of working at Capita.

@Jonathan Lewis make my paycheck payable into my retirement fund in the Antilles please.

Brit hacker hired by Liberian telco to nobble rival now behind bars

macjules Silver badge

Re: Daniel Kaye?

Well, he has a good grasp of Civilisation now I think.

macjules Silver badge
Headmaster

Charged with creating a botnet?

Kaye was arrested in February of 2017 and pled guilty last month to counts of creating and using a botnet and possessing criminal property.

Perhaps, "pleaded guilty last month to several charges under Section 3 of the Computer Misuse Act 1990: unauthorised acts with intent to impair the operation of a computer, plus possessing criminal property." might be more appropriate?

SpaceX sends Iridium-8 into space while Musk flaunts his retro rocket

macjules Silver badge
Alert

You only live twice, Mr. Bond ..

You can not even see the opening jaws designed to grab innocent Soyuz capsules and then return to Mr Musk's Mount Rishiri base.

NHS England's chief digital officer goes full digital, ditches health service for GP app biz

macjules Silver badge

Re: Moving away

Me too. The frightening thing is that they are now so far removed from the actual patient-doctor care concept that they no longer understand that there are such things as patients.

Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

macjules Silver badge

Re: "and failed to honour the cynical tradition of built-in obsolescence"

Tell that to Apple. They are still selling computers that pretty much have the same specification as those manufactured in 2012 - same Retina screen, i7 processors SSD etc.

Marriott: Good news. Hackers only took 383 million booking records ... and 5.3m unencrypted passport numbers

macjules Silver badge

Re: WTF do they do with Passport IDs?

In 2018 I cancelled my main Visa debit card at least twice, thanks to British Airways and O2, cancelled my business Mastercard once (Marriott) and my (very rarely used) BA Amex card forever. I have pretty much give up on providing hotels with any card details now and I only reserve rooms that can be paid for via Carlson Wagonlit, and then only via monthly invoice from them.

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

macjules Silver badge

Re: Just like buying a magazine.

Tried various "parental locks" and "supervisory" software. Most of those apps have been developed by retards who think that they just have to call their pathetic offerings "KidSafe" or similar for us to buy them.

Education is the key to children using the internet safely. Teach them how to watch out for perverts and the tin foil hat brigade or how to tell genuine emails and websites from the fake ones. I do not have the time or inclination to spend several hours per night supervising 3 children either doing homework or chatting to their friends online.

macjules Silver badge

Re: Is this the stupidest idea ever?

All it will take is 1 kid to a certain browser has a built-in "VPN"

Then we will ban all VPNs*. Then we will jail anyone thinking of developing a VPN. If that doesn't work then we will ban the internet.

* Except the House of Commons VPN of course.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

macjules Silver badge

Re: Any computer game after 1994...

+1 for BG2

Hacker cyber-gang: Give us cyber-cash for cyber-cache of 18,000 stolen Sept 11th insurance docs

macjules Silver badge

And the Tin Foil Hat award goes to ..

The Dark Overlord group, for hacking above and beyond the call of duty .. even if it was way past their bedtime,

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/843/271/4f8.jpg

China's loose Chang'e: Probe lands on far side of the Moon in science first, says state media

macjules Silver badge

Re: All your dark base are control by us

Has the probe run its cheese detector yet?

Wensleydale?

Stilton?

It's like no cheese I've ever tasted.

What happens when a Royal Navy warship sees a NATO task force headed straight for it? A crash course in Morse

macjules Silver badge

Kenny "Cuddly Ken" Everett, I should think

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

macjules Silver badge

Re: There's disposable income then there's

Except that they do not retain their value. An iPhone X 64Gb with. costing over £1,000 less than 10 months ago has a 'trade in' value of less than £400.

It's 2019, the year Blade Runner takes place: I can has flying cars?

macjules Silver badge

Re: But in a lot

.. we've created the world of Blade runner already

Deckard: Enhance 224 to 176. Enhance, stop. Move in, stop. Pull out, track right, stop. Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop. Enhance 34 to 36. Pan right and pull back. Stop. Enhance 34 to 46. Pull back. Wait a minute, go right, stop. Enhance 57 to 19. Track 45 left. Stop. Enhance 15 to 23. Give me a hard copy right there.

Alexa: Sorry, Deckard, you lost me at Enhance 224 to 176.

A little more way to go yet I think.

Bored IT manager automates Millennium Eve checks to ditch snoozing for boozing

macjules Silver badge

"..who had recently been promoted from BOFH to IT manager"

Poacher turned Gamekeeper then?

Your mates vape. Your boss quit smoking. You promised to quit in 2019. But how will Big Tobacco give it up?

macjules Silver badge

Re: Thank you for Smoking

+1 Was hoping someone would mention TYFS. Might also mention The Insider, with Russell Crowe and Al Pacino.

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

macjules Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: Loopy passengers

I've certainly lost the plot on how to deal with those electric passport gates. Every time I go through them there is someone in front of me stuck in a glass area with flashing red lights and screaming "I put the bloody passport in the right way", followed by that unfortunate being shown the way to the endless manually-checked queue.

In the same way that Sainsbury's has just one person to handle the 20+ "Thank you for using Sainsbury's self checkout" counters (wait till Dignitas get that one, by the way) UK Borders seem to have one person to handle several thousand angry electric passporteers all putting their passport in incorrectly. I for one always tend to to put it in the right side down, but the wrong way round, and it usually takes a teenager rolling her eyes and making "he's not really my father" signs to the other passengers for me to realise my error.

Perhaps there should be dummy tutorial machines along the long elasticised fencing to the machines, "hey well done, you managed to put your passport in correctly".

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter

macjules Silver badge

Re: Remeber those heady days of the Apollo missions well

Remember watching the Apollo coverage with James Burke almost all the way through on "Apollo 8 Special". Afraid we didn't have much of a Christmas in our household that year.

"Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus"

Your two-minute infosec roundup: Drone arrests, Alexa bot hack, Windows zero-day, and more

macjules Silver badge
Terminator

"kill your foster parents"

Any opportunity to use the icon ->

A few reasons why cops haven't immediately shot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

macjules Silver badge
Trollface

Re: How about a high power laser burst ? (or things I saw in Star Wars)

Nah, none of those. How about using a man-portable Railgun? Wouldn't have to worry about the projectile dropping out of the sky as it would go on into the atmosphere.

Of course, the fact that man-portable Railguns only exist in Arnie movies is totally irrelevant ..

Who's watching you from an unmarked van while you shop in London? Cops with facial recog tech

macjules Silver badge

650 willing crowd subjects

Can't they just test it out in the House of Commons? Likelihood amongst that lot is that at least one of them is currently wanted for questioning by the police and a number have failed to pay parking fines.

When it comes to AI research the West is winning, the East is rising and women are being left behind

macjules Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Bit of a boy's club

When we have sorted out genuine human stupidity then feel free to embark on artificial intelligence.

Until then, I would much rather see professorships for the Advanced Study of Causes of Human Unintelligence, than everyone whining about how they are not getting an equal share in the AI/ML casserole of dreams.

.. even if they are Welsh.

Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit

macjules Silver badge
Angel

Re: Action Man

From what I understand, there would have to be at least room for 2 in there if you wanted to include Little Vlad.

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

macjules Silver badge

Re: I would dare Waymo

Not many streets, signposts, idiotic bus drivers or psychotic uber drivers on Mars.

Britain approved £2.5m of snooping kit exports to thoroughly snuggly regime in Saudi Arabia

macjules Silver badge
FAIL

Could have been worse ..

.. as they could have been sending supplies of concentrated acid to Saudi embassies as well.

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

macjules Silver badge

Ah, happy memories. I remember spending a weekend in early 1994 networking a minor civil service department. How did we test the network? By installing Doom on certain Windows-enabled computers and playing an all-night death match ...

Ticketmaster tells customer it's not at fault for site's Magecart malware pwnage

macjules Silver badge

Re: Offsite scripts GAH!

@clanger9

Why on earth would TSB want to not only include their Oracle Server Id (BancSabadell) but also their X-ORACLE-DMS-ECID (6876a6bb-2fce-48c3-b6f2-2c779f6af379-0026893f) in their response headers?

Could this be a case of, "Haha, Hack us if you dare!"?

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

macjules Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Value added installer

Ah, that's the the Windows Vista installer comes from!

I was wondering who invented the backward installer bar that seems to start with "10 minutes remaining" and eventually gives up after showing "3 hours remaining"

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

macjules Silver badge

Re: Yes, but you've omitted the most important bit...

... however there are programs where the cons are used to train service dogs

They let the service dogs maul them?

macjules Silver badge

Re: The photo

“Mr Extraordinary (Rendition)”

Able to walk through walls (except AdMax)

Can shoot lasers from his eyes (except in AdMax)

Faster than a speeding bullet (but only when he is on a CIA flight to AdMax)

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate

macjules Silver badge

Note to self ..

Next time replace that Symantec certificate ...

Shall we have AI judging UK court cases? Top beak ponders the future

macjules Silver badge

Artificial Intelligence?

In this modern age we are expected to take advice on AI from a man who normally wears a 17th Century powdered wig, a red dress and gown, tights and buckled shoes?

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

~ GNU Pterry.

macjules Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Henry VI, Part 2!

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

~ Dick the Butcher, Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2

We have a plan to get rid of all judges and lawyers by developing an advanced AI to manage our courts.

~ Jon "The Butcher" Lewis, Capita

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

macjules Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: I did use Edge...

Hey, it could be a lot worse. They could have adopted Safari.

£10k offer to leave firm ASAP is not blackmail, Capita told by judge

macjules Silver badge

Not Blackmail?

Simon Mayall stated that he "couldn't have me escalating issues to you", and if I didn't take the £10k offer then I would be managed [presumably out] via my sick records.

I do not think that I have ever heard of someone being given a couple of hours notice and a rounded offer to quit.Then again this is Crapita we are talking about ..

Giraffe hacks printers worldwide to promote God-awful YouTuber. Did we read that one right?

macjules Silver badge
Coat

I am sure that he will have some tall tales to say in his defence. He has after all stuck his neck out a bit too far.

macjules Silver badge

Re: Babysitters are for babies

No, the world has gone to the humans. Dogs, if you observe them with a critical eye, pretty much have a RealLife that life most humans can only dream of.

Well commented that person. In my opinion we need less "social media" (which by the way is almost exactly the opposite of 'social' in its nasty hostility to users and its shameless marketing and abuse of people's data) and far more people-to-people interaction. There are children at my kids' school that seem to have almost no life away from school except on their phones or computers.

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

macjules Silver badge

Re: @eDog - why should the taxpayers be on the hook?

IMHO police officers should be required to carry liability insurance,

Good luck recruiting police officers with that hanging over their heads.

OneDrive Skype integration goes live aaand... OneDrive falls over in Europe

macjules Silver badge

Very widespread indeed. The MFA failure affected any organisation that had strict authentication enabled such as WPP and all its companies, for example. There have now been a number of very unfortunate incidents to do with Azure or Office 361, not least their having to reboot the North Europe data centre and then more recently the Texas data centre.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab

macjules Silver badge

One up on the Apple mouse then - you can not use it while it is charging as the lightning port is underneath the mouse.

Not one of Jonny Ive's best designs.

macjules Silver badge

Re: Hell is other people

I could write a book about IT problems with governments and where nothing beats HM Government junior ministers for sheer, stubborn human stupidity, as in this example:

"My government-issued laptop keeps making a beeping noise, even though I know for a fact that it is switched off. It is very annoying indeed and will you please send someone asap to fix it at my house?"

Next day's engineer report:

"Subject's laptop was checked and found to be in full working order with no errors. However, this can not be said about the subject's smoke alarm which was situated almost directly above the laptop. Recommend that this member of HMG be sent several 9v batteries with instruction on how to fit them"

macjules Silver badge
WTF?

More to the point, you had an IT department yet no anti-virus or anti-malware installed? Interested to know what type of operation it was.

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