* Posts by DustyP

11 posts • joined 4 Oct 2014

Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

DustyP

Re: Remember the Zanzibar Fallacy

Redefining two standards at the same time (I'm certain that they haven't)

The Zanzibar Fallacy

There was once an explorer who came to the tropical island of Zanzibar. Now, it happens that the island of Zanzibar is much longer than it is wide, so that the opposite ends of the island are separated by many miles of hilly jungle country.

This traveller was a naval man by profession, and he had not been long on the island before he was told of a retired naval officer, a countryman of his, who lived at the extreme western end of the island, in a wooden house built high up on the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

The explorer thought that he would like to visit his fellow expatriate, so he journeyed to the man's house, taking but one porter with him, for he preferred to travel light and, anyway, was not an excessively wealthy man. The journey took two days, or maybe it was three, but apart from the expected privations of crossing jungle terrain there was nothing remarkable about his trip. Nothing, that is, except that at noon each day he heard the sound of a naval gun, booming out from beyond the hills to the west and scattering the brightly-coloured tropical birds about his head.

When he reached the ex-officer's house he was made very welcome. All morning they sat together on the veranda overlooking the sea, drank chukka pegs, and talked of home and their lives in the navy. As the time approached midday, the owner asked to be excused. He walked to the far end of the veranda, where there was a quarter-pound cannon, and, consulting his watch, fired a single shot at precisely twelve o'clock. 'I do that every day,' he said to the traveller, who understood perfectly his host's desire to observe naval tradition. 'Tell me,' he asked him. 'How do you ensure that you always fire your gun at exactly midday? Do you take sightings?'

'No need,' he other replied. I kept the ship's chronometer from the old Arethusa and I set my own watch to it every morning.'

'Ah,' said the first. 'But how do you know that the chronometer is correct?'

'That is simple. At the other end of the island there is a clockmaker of great renown who keeps all his timepieces in perfect order. Twice a year I send my chronometer to him and he regulates it for me.'

The traveller spent several enjoyable days at the naval officer's house and they became great friends. 'Give my regards to Mister Jones the clockmaker, won't you?' the old seaman said as they parted. 'I will,' the explorer replied, and they shook hands warmly.

Two weeks later, the traveller reached the far eastern end of Zanzibar and there, in a small town nestling under a ridge of green trees and grey rocks, he found Mr Jones' shop. It was a shop such as you may find anywhere there are clocks and watches to be made or mended – dim and cool, filled with the soft sounds of ticking and chiming. Our explorer introduced himself to the clockmaker and, noticing how well all the watches and clocks in his shop were synchronised, asked him how he made sure that they were all keeping the right time.

'That is simple,' the clockmaker responded. 'At the other end of the island there is a retired naval officer who, every day at twelve o'clock precisely, fires a gun. I set all my clocks by him.'

DustyP

Remember the Zanzibar Fallacy

Redefining two standards at the same time (I'm certain that they haven't)

The Zanzibar Fallacy

There was once an explorer who came to the tropical island of Zanzibar. Now, it happens that the island of Zanzibar is much longer than it is wide, so that the opposite ends of the island are separated by many miles of hilly jungle country.

This traveller was a naval man by profession, and he had not been long on the island before he was told of a retired naval officer, a countryman of his, who lived at the extreme western end of the island, in a wooden house built high up on the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

The explorer thought that he would like to visit his fellow expatriate, so he journeyed to the man's house, taking but one porter with him, for he preferred to travel light and, anyway, was not an excessively wealthy man. The journey took two days, or maybe it was three, but apart from the expected privations of crossing jungle terrain there was nothing remarkable about his trip. Nothing, that is, except that at noon each day he heard the sound of a naval gun, booming out from beyond the hills to the west and scattering the brightly-coloured tropical birds about his head.

When he reached the ex-officer's house he was made very welcome. All morning they sat together on the veranda overlooking the sea, drank chukka pegs, and talked of home and their lives in the navy. As the time approached midday, the owner asked to be excused. He walked to the far end of the veranda, where there was a quarter-pound cannon, and, consulting his watch, fired a single shot at precisely twelve o'clock. 'I do that every day,' he said to the traveller, who understood perfectly his host's desire to observe naval tradition. 'Tell me,' he asked him. 'How do you ensure that you always fire your gun at exactly midday? Do you take sightings?'

'No need,' he other replied. I kept the ship's chronometer from the old Arethusa and I set my own watch to it every morning.'

'Ah,' said the first. 'But how do you know that the chronometer is correct?'

'That is simple. At the other end of the island there is a clockmaker of great renown who keeps all his timepieces in perfect order. Twice a year I send my chronometer to him and he regulates it for me.'

The traveller spent several enjoyable days at the naval officer's house and they became great friends. 'Give my regards to Mister Jones the clockmaker, won't you?' the old seaman said as they parted. 'I will,' the explorer replied, and they shook hands warmly.

Two weeks later, the traveller reached the far eastern end of Zanzibar and there, in a small town nestling under a ridge of green trees and grey rocks, he found Mr Jones' shop. It was a shop such as you may find anywhere there are clocks and watches to be made or mended – dim and cool, filled with the soft sounds of ticking and chiming. Our explorer introduced himself to the clockmaker and, noticing how well all the watches and clocks in his shop were synchronised, asked him how he made sure that they were all keeping the right time.

'That is simple,' the clockmaker responded. 'At the other end of the island there is a retired naval officer who, every day at twelve o'clock precisely, fires a gun. I set all my clocks by him.'

The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time

DustyP

Re: "Ethernet is so much better"

...and before Token Ring was ArcNet which also worked over RG-62/U coax cables. I installed and managed a couple of networks running on Novell Netware 2.2

It's World (Terrible) Password (Advice) Day!

DustyP

Good password?

What is the strength of using the second and third lines of a favourite poem that in combination are 17 characters?

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

DustyP

Re:wierd power glitches

Cleaners unplugging essential plugs so she can plug in a vacuum cleaner...

I can beat that.

In the mid '80s, I was the senior technical engineer for a London company that sold systems that shot computer graphic slides onto 35mm film. We sold a system to a photographer in Zurich, Switzerland.

It all worked perfectly for a couple of months, shooting two or three hundred frames overnight.

One day, the customer phoned in a panic. For three nights, it had only shot a few dozen before failing overnight.

I took a flight from Heathrow with my box of spares.

The camera was kept in the owner's office which was on the first floor with a large window overlooking the main studio which was used in the evenings for photographing ladies wearing very little at most.

I measured all the voltages from the sockets, and leaving the meters connected, sat in a chair by the window while the camera clicked every few minutes while I gawked at the action below. Girls would come out of their dressing room topless or naked while the photographer took his pictures. At 3am, the entire batch of slides had completed successfully so I reprocessed the entire batch after checking the output of the UPS again. I was tired, so turned out the light in the office and sat back in the chair where I could gawk at the four lovely models downstairs fiishing their photo shoot.

I fell asleep, only to be woken by the office light coming on. It had been switched on by a naked brunette who quickly took the towel from where it was drying her hsir and wrapped it round her nether regions.

"Ich brauche, um meine Haare trocknen" she told me "I need to dry my hair."

She told me that with four girls in a dressing room with only two sockets, for the past few nights, she always came up to the office to use a socket for the hair dryer. She unplugged the main plug from where it fed a supply to the IBM AT (shows how long ago it was). "Don't worry, I'll plug it back in when I've dried my hair" she told me in German while her boobs jiggled in front of me. I was too angry to tell her off but my client ensured that his office was always securely locked at night.

'Please store the internet on this floppy disk'

DustyP

Re: Where is my office?

Back in the '70s, I had a user who was going on holiday with his girlfriend from a different company. His girlfriend had put an 'away from office' message on her email. The guy did as well before leaving for two weeks in the sun and sending an email to the girlfriend saying that he was just leaving.

When he got back, his inbox was full of 'Re:Away from office - Just leaving' messages, 'Re:Re:Re:' etc. received every few seconds.

I soon replaced the POA with one that recognised replies replies to replies anf ignored them.

DustyP

Re: Brings back bad memories

"How do you make your instructions idiot proof"

It's impossible to make instructions idiot proof because idiots can be SO ingenious.

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

DustyP

Re: Can't we get rid of May?

Only 37% of people entitled to vote voted leave.

...and this was in a referendum that was supposed to be 'advisory' to the government. Not blindly follow the decision.

The entire referendum was badly planned and the advertising by the leave group was criminally false. - In the leaflets that were delivered to every house claiming that Turkey was about to join the EU and hence Syria.

Those responsible should be prosecuted.

Apple may face $900m bill after A7 CPU in iPhones, iPads ripped off university's patent

DustyP

Re: Why not ARM?

In about 1991, Apple invested $2.5 million for a 42% interest in ARM Ltd. This was before Olivetti bought ARM from Acorn. I don't know what the current position is, but this could be an expanation.

Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

DustyP

Re: What about Windows 9?

Maybe MS are following the lead of Corel and Adobe and it will be called Windows X

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