* Posts by Deimos

31 posts • joined 2 Sep 2014

Wanted: Big iron geeks to help restore IBM 360 mainframe rescued from defunct German factory by other big iron geeks



You beat me to the Joe 90 comment.

Prepare yourselves for Windows 10 May-hem. Or is it June, no, July?


My last windows device

Is a lonely win 10 laptop that only exists to run my favourite vintage games.

It has no internet connection, so it has never updated and mucked up my carefully setup options.

Everything else is tablet based, so the Apple devices get updated but never automatically.

Our Android tablets might well upgrade but I don’t care as they don’t last that long.

I also use an Xbox one X as a hd blu ray player, it was updated once to play brand new disks that appear to have

An updated version of the blu ray standard.

In other words MS fine for niche uses but for every day use I trust it as far as you can spit pizza underwater.

UK pr0n viewers plan to circumvent smut-block measures – survey


Re: Unintended consequences

Yup should be sorted in no time like brexit, knife crime and anything current government has tried to touch.

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight


Surface in the NHS ?

In days gone by I spent many years advising the NHS buyers on IT. We would rather buy cheap efficient thin clients or repurpose ancient machines as “skinnies” than ever buy MS thickies.

As for surface kit, I suppose they might have sold 3 to the public sector since they were first launched but their local NHS BOFHs have ensured that they are buried in the same carpets as their buyers.

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour


Dear Martian

As usual your words inspired me to open the good stuff, keep keeping on bruder.

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid


All the world should celebrate thanks giving

And give Thanks we are not Americans...

Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok


Re: Gabrielle Drake

Indeed SID was the best actor in the series, like Orac in Blakes 7. But those costumes for the moonbase and skydiver Lady crew members were magnificent.

The box sets of UFO and Space 1999 are sitting next to my chair and competing with Solo for tonight’s viewing, quite a quandary.


Machine names

Ours were all from scifi machine names

So hal, orac, slave, data and many more but anyone remember sid ? Without using the internet to identify it of course.....

Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep


Re: "...hashland would sound silly."

Interrobang would be used at the end of the sentence

“You shut down the what “.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual


The best unlock ever

I’ve spent years hacking away at locks and passwords but my favourite is still the first. I was working in an old church used as a museum, we found the proverbial “old locked desk drawer”.

After much mucking round it finally gave in and contained nothing but forty year old stationery and a pair of old photo negatives. I had a quick look at the negatives “Queenstown 1912 april 11th” and two mid distance shots of a ship.

Yup, you guessed it, I was holding the last two photos of Titanic ever taken. As this was before Ballard found the wreck they were unique.

I’ve opened up lots of locks since then but only ever found crud, that day was a good day.

Citation needed: Europe claims Kaspersky wares 'confirmed as malicious'


Kaspersky got the shermans annoyed

By correctly detecting official USGOV naughty products as “spyware”, apparently due to a mistake by a USGOV human. What annoyed them most was that it sent the signature of the naughty ware back to mother Russia, as this is where Kaspersky is based.

Now (shock horror) Kaspersky products not only block this state sponsored naughty ware but also appear to be able to stop newer versions with different signatures. I doubt that they block Mr Putins patented naughty ware but neither d any other AV products.

So do you prefer Mr Putins favourite AV or Dear Donalds red, white and blue solutions?

Pity there isn’t a neutral solution? Or is there ?

Doctor, doctor! My NHS Patient Access app has gone TITSUP*



Ah yes the Excement maintenance info sys, one of several reasons for my second heart attack.

Although it would cause much screaming and pain, I would love to have one final, fully funded, fully supported try at replacing all the legacy IT crud that drags the NHS down.

It’s probably impossible but it would be a hell of a way to go. One huge team 50 % NHS human and 45 % devoted NHS loving techies, then try to find the best NHS IT Managers for the last 5%.

In my better dreams it succeeds (and I’m not old, fat or medically retired).

'Lambda and serverless is one of the worst forms of proprietary lock-in we've ever seen in the history of humanity'


Thats it

Just came to this article from the one about huge amounts of crypto currency being borked.

So it's time to admit that an IT career that started in 1980 is Over, I can no longer stand by watching things repeat themselves.

I am retired due to multiple crippling heart attacks but I do help out the odd charity case, got a nice little job today - no money of course but nice to leave the house.

But its time to admit that I don't want to do this anymore, it hurts too much.

The generation before mine went to the moon, my generation made the PlayStation then Facebook.

I hope to reincarnate as a Spaniel.

Good luck boys and girls, it has been quite fun and always funny.

BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss


Re: Why

I think the dead robot was twofer, it stopped the first batch of "stupidlivesmatter" candidates and hopefully landed on/close to someone who needed a gentle / less than lethal reminder.

Being a great BOFH isn't all about thinning the herd by fatal means, you need variety to avoid getting

careless or worse caught.

A scared workforce is far easier to control with constantly needing to terrify new staff, remember you need people to sign your invoices and purchase orders.

Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders


Japanese motorbikes

For every story of successful evolution there are many stories of failure, I'm thinking of the glorious Eastern European bikes like the MZ50. Not all newborns survive and that's without their massive death cult (I may have misspelled that) mentality and thousands of drone operating uber nerds that oppose them. Add in all the Russian cyber nutters, Anonymous keyboard killers and western intelligence agency geeks.....

I hate tp daesh their hopes but I think most will be collecting their virgins fairly soon.

PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet


The broken projector

My personal favourite and I used it as an interview question for years after.

Back in 2000 l worked as IT bod in a typical little gov.uk place, lovely staff and a joy to support.

Got a call from top floor, big meeting, projector not focusing, tried everything, help!

Sensing panic we sent up our pfy, five minutes later HELP ! Big guest just arrived, projector still bad.

Sent our junior bofh, no joy, big guest now grumbling.

Grabbed spare projector and ran upstairs, then removed red hot lens cover and quietly left the room.

Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update


I suspect the dark side is showing

I think the win 10 phone version and many other M$ products are actually the output of a huge misery producing AI. After trying to setup my first personal M$ crud in five years (a laptop and Xbox one s), I finally reached the conclusion that M$ are actually fuelled entirely by pain and suffering.

Obviously mainstream products have dedicated teams of pain goblins to cause enough horror to feed the dark lord bill but what of rarer products? How can you ensure that every tiny bit of Redmond crud reduces people to gibbering insanity?

Thus was born the super pain AI, itself entirely powered by people's despair at trying to not crap-grade to win 10. An AI designed to do nothing but hurt people, so entirely undistinguishable from actual interaction with M$.

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you


Alas no

Moriarty or to be exact Artie Murray (the bastard contractor from hell) met a nasty end in 1999. I seem to remember some reichenbach fallers being involved. The incident was so traumatic that the Bastard took many months to reboot.

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me


I do love scam calls

Mine are all from India and contain truly horrible mispronounced names, mostly because I gave a "survey which will never pass on your details" a name of someone who has been dead for 45 years.

So far my very dead ancestor has been involved in all sorts of adventures and ordered all sorts of stuff. The most fun is explaining to superstitious scammers that they were talking to the house poltergeist, which normally causes death by fear (pinched that plot from various Ring movies). Always get a kick from asking them (very seriously) how tortured the ghost sounded.

Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good


The book is superb

I read the book in the year before the film was made and still think its one of the greatest sci

fi novels ever. The film and tv series are both excellent in different ways, but I think the

actual novel is almost unfilmable. I also put "hardwired" and "the forever war" into the same category.

Great but almost impossible to film. Read all three of those novels asap, your life will be better for it.

Don't read Dianetics unless you have a real need to punish yourself and if you've been that evil recently- then goodbye Mr President.

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample


BOFH plus kids =

I foolishly let my eldest child read my BOFH archive plus "The Prince" and Kevin Mitnick..

She now works at a nice admin job managing real rocket scientists and sending stuff to crash on Mars. I was worried that my library might be a bad influence so I didn't give her siblings access, they all work in retail.

Suffice to say that I'm leaving my library to my grandchildren and seeding the books with fivers to encourage reading them.

Sony Pictures in IT lock-down after alleged hacker hosing


Re: Predictable and not going away

Yup I am also very fond of the castle / bastion approach, it is also a great image to have on the screen when doing security awareness training.

My fear isn't the Nation-state grade tools, it's the tools inside the walls who effectively tunnel under the walls, leave the gates open at night and store all our crown jewels in a shed in the middle of town labelled "Jewels - keep out please".

I do wonder though why Sony appear to get hit so often, bad at Security or a campaign by MS to make XBOX dominant in the marketplace.

London police chief: City bankers, prepare for a terrorist cyber attack. Again


Jolly alert !!

He was originally handed a bit of paper saying

"We have managed to get a couple of our chaps on continuous holiday in New York !!. All you have to do is host a couple of Yank holidaymakers in London and find a way to explain it to the great unwashed. Something to do with criminal bearded types or protecting children. Use your best judgement and you get to go to regular review meetings over there."

Hide your Macs, iPhones and iPads: WireLurker nasty 'heralds new era'


Re: " trojanise " !

Yes it is, see my fine example below.

Under new laws in California, all male performers in the sex industry must use condoms.

A spokesman was quoted as saying "Guys have got to Trojanise or no work".


Re: so once again

Probably right there, all my apple toys are IOS fondleslabs and I haven't really used desktop version since 1980's.

So it's not Apple, the bad guys are those naughty men from a certain non-democratic etc..


so once again

We have malware that only infects those who leave the Apple walled garden (for the first infection that is).

Only effects those who used a dodgy Chinese site I believe, also sophisticated code and appears to only monitor the user. Hmmmm looks like a certain non-democratic Government doesn't it me old China ? Or could it be Apple making sure we never leave the walled garden ?

Sorry I'm going out now, I may be gone some time.

One Windows? How does that work... and WTF is a Universal App?


the same O/S on everything

actually I don't think this will be a problem.

How many windows phones and surface pro tablets will still be around by the end of 2015 ?

Now subtract all the older than 2015 devices as they won't be upgradable.

Finally subtract the 99% of users who aren't daft enough to pay for a new O/S.

We are left with 2000 corporate users all based in Redmond or Nokialand and a couple of dozen seriously mad folks.

the only universal apps needed for Windows phone and Surface Pro will be Maps for finding Microsoft offices and a practical guide to muttering on trains whilst dribbling.

Don't buy that phone! It ATTRACTS CRIMINALS, UK.gov will tell people


Re: And meanwhile in the real world

The not very bright

Drug addicts

The very impulsive

Grandiose narcissists who think they are cleverer and more important than anybody else

Psychopaths who think everybody else is a stupid sheep who only exists to be exploited.

You will readily work out that most of these people are poor at evaluating risk.

You had me until you got to narcissists and Psychopaths, you mean managers and BOFH's ?

While managers are lousy at evaluating risk, BOFH's are master at calculating Risk - then making sure the resultant risk comes true for the manager.

NUDE SELFIE CLOUD PERV menace: Apple 2FA? Sweet FA, more like


Re: Deleted data stolen?

Let Me translate.

Picture taken on Phone A.

Deleted on iPad B.

still in photo stream.


so it's finally arrived

The Internet of Thingies.

Sorry, couldn't resist it. going now.

Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?


list of suspects

So - long time-frame, multiple devices, multiple O/S and quite a small group of prime clickbait.

1. was it a "free WiFi" access point at the Emmy or Oscar awards ?

2. someone in the NSA cloud monitoring team just got his prize swag stash onto a USB stick and out of the building ?

3. it really was that simple password vulnerability on the "find my iPhone app" plus said celebs moving photos from other sources to their icloud (or getting them sent from people with other devices) ?

4. a cynical attempt to either sell a security service or discredit Apple ?

just my very non comprehensive list, any better suspects ? but please remember "Investigating or commenting on any high profile leak is like trying to hug a hedgehog, the harder you try the more pricks you encounter" and I'm just the first....

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