* Posts by sqlartist

14 posts • joined 14 Aug 2014

Ask your data anything, says data viz biz Tableau as it flings 'patent-pending' tech at natural language tool


Not quite sure what the patent is for?

I used the English Language Query tool in SQL Server 7.0 in 1999.

Its been updated since then and exists in Power BI as anatural language way to interface with Power BI models.

If only they had announced it was using AI then we would know for sure its new thinking ;)

Pain in the brain! Kaspersky warns of hackable brain implants


Re: Sqlartist

I am convinced that I affect wireless networks in the 5ghz range - no proof and I realise I have a heightened awareness but they do seem to have an unfair share of glitches when I'm about.

I also seem to attract insects due to the electrical signals - again no hard evidence but its ridiculous how I am attacked by wasps and other things. I did read a paper that showed ants were attracted to stimulating effects of the device.

So yes a tin foil hat would work, unless of course it acted as a booster!

I did ask someone if they could use wireshark to see what the device was emitting but decided it probably be left best to leave it alone given that it has saved me from 13 years of pain/hell


I have one of these

I have one of these implants and whilst I'm really not concerned it is true that if a hacker were to get access they could cause me to have a stroke. I have a setting range of 2.2 - 6.6 and currently set to 4.4 because of the level of pain I am currently in. When I went into Oxford for reprogramming last time they could not set the upper bounds therefore my patient programmer device could allow me to increase it to 6.0+ which is instant stroke time.

I have one of the devices that is charged up by wireless charging but it has to be sitting on my chest to activate.

SAP cofounder admits: Biz goofed on branding, confused customers, depressed staff


How do you pronounce C/4HANA ?

Is it C Slash 4 HANA?

Is it C Four HANA?

Shocking. Lightning strike knocks out neuro patient's brain implant


Re: That's the problem - It isn't.

I got the ability to read faster and go crossed eyed the wrong way with the implant.

not the best superpower but hey we are the first


Re: I have a DBS installed

A surge protector is the least of my worries, I also have to sleep with a water tank on the bed, a four way power supply to plug everything in :(

When I turn the implant up I do seem to attract an unfair amount of insects - there has been some research on the fact that ants are attracted to the electrical signal - so at least it indicates I'm not completely crazy.


I have a DBS installed

well i have a Deep Brain Simulator and this is not good news at all. I have already had the thing replaced due to firmware problems - twice. Worldwide product recall of the charging devices except no-one told anyone in the UK - I was two hours away from having to have it surgically removed. Luckily I took the device apart and pressed the hidden reset button.

Its already a ball ache charging myself up, charging the device up - to introduce a surge protector would be another thing.

having said all this - the device is awesome and takes 13 years of level 10 pain, 12 hours a day completely away.

Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse


I cant help but worry about wheelchair users, people that hate the cold (rules out any accounts teams), insect haters and people that hate the sun reflecting off their screen, otherwise all good.

oh and it rains a lot in Seattle so could be an issue.

Why does it cost 20 times as much to protect Mark Zuckerberg as Tim Cook?


notice BillG isn't on the list. I met with him a few times he just drove himself and was always on his own. That was always in USA. Steve Ballmer was pretty much the same and that was the UK

Rackspace to resell and support Microsoft's Azure


Fanatical Support - Yes really

Yes but the article missed the best bit - their branding for this stuff - I mean its the worst I ever seen

...Fanatical Support® for Microsoft® Azure™.

and they don't even mention SQL Server in the press release, despite mentioning all other MS Products

Got a 4King big TV? Ready to stream lots of awesome video? Yeah, about that…


Just got a 4K....

I have to say that what I have seen I have been blown away with the TV I got at Christmas. I was sort of lucky to get the Bang & Olufsen Avant 55 - 4k TV - and surround setup. It hasn't got the HDEC chip but other than that its jaw-dropping. The first thing I watched was the ULTRA HD 4k transformers youtube trailer and everyone that has seen it was very impressed. I haven't seen anything so good in a long time and have always had the home cinema bug. I brought 8000 DVD and about 1000 blu-rays. I have started to rewatch the blue-rays as the TV does a very good job of upscaling the 1080P.

I am pissed at the lack of 4k content as watching some GoPro videos or rain drops over a wonderful sunset does tend to be boring. Christmas morning was a 4k fireplace :)

The TV (it also moves every time it turns off) makes me smile every single time I turn it on or off and a piece of technology that does that before I have even started to watch anything is a good purchase.

Cameron Diaz covers top boffins in gold at Breakthrough Prizes


Anyone know if.....?

•Alim-Louis Benabid, Joseph Fourier University, for the discovery and pioneering work on the development of high-frequency deep brain stimulation (DBS), which has revolutionized the treatment of Parkinson’s disease.

does this work also apply for Cluster Headaches. I am currently waiting for DBS but it remains un funded.

NHS quango fatcats spend £2m tax dosh on iPads and iPhones


My Wife is one of those....

Hi Jasper, my wife is one of those getting the iPhone and iPads working for the NHS and I can't even get a bloody life changing brain operation due to funding.

One good thing is the external attached keyboard they give with the iPad is quite simply the heaviest, most clunky thing I have seen in 20 years of IT. I get some pleasure from seeing her carry it around.

Intel launches Internet of Stuff Parkinson's research project


Brain pacemaker

I have had two of the devices that are used to treat Parkinson's implanted in my brain for the past 8 years. Its currently been removed in favour of the deep brain stimulator which is also used for Parkinson's treatment. I suffer from cluster Headaches and am in pain 12 hours of the day and when the implant is switched on the pain goes away. Its the same for Parkinson's - switch the device on and the tremors disappear. I met someone with Tourette's who switched it on for the first time and to see them stop ticking was amazing.

One problem is something called Neuroplasticity - where the brain is clever enough to route around the implanted electrodes and thus return the original symptoms.

Some interesting things used to happen - I could bring down Wi-Fi networks by walking into a room, I used to set off those shop security detectors and all sorts of weird stuff I couldn't prove was the device but it was too much of a coincidence to dismiss. The device manufacturer was always disinterested ijn any feedback.

The later models had their own IP Address which was a way to get the data off remotely rather than by the Neuro programmer which had to sit on the patient's skin. This was a concern and was how the heart pacemaker was hacked in the TV Show Homeland. The brain version wasn't producing anything that could kill someone so was only a minor security issue.

I am waiting for the deep brain version - approved for past 3 years but NHS have run out of money.


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