* Posts by Fungus Bob

1121 posts • joined 26 Jun 2014

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Secret mic in Nest gear wasn't supposed to be a secret, says Google, we just forgot to tell anyone

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Re: Don't be........

Duct tape a vibrator to the window/hard surface...

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Re: Don't be........

Tin foil has been compromised by the Trilateral Commission.

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

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Re: I hate "naming rights"

Surely someone will really clean up with all the SAPonification going on....

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

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Tucker Carlson

Barbara Streisand

the blonde girl in the "Safety Dance" video

On second thought, the third one is a good idea...

White House and FCC announce big, broken solutions to America's pitiful broadband

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snail shit?

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Re: Another Form of Attack?

salt

Sigfox cracks open IoT radio protocol specs for world+dog (+badgers?)

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Coat

Re: The Much Maligned Badger

Badgers? We don' need no steenkin' badgers...

Prez Trump orders Uncle Sam to step up AI efforts – we all know the White House knows a lot about artificial intelligence

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Re: We could replace him with a Raspberry Pi...

Oooh, downvoted by Trump and Pence...

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Re: We could replace him with a Raspberry Pi...

It's not artificial...

Uncle Sam to its friends around the world: You can buy technology the easy way, or the Huawei

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"it also makes it more difficult for America to be present"

He says that like it's a Bad Thing...

You think election meddling is bad now? Buckle up for 2020, US intel chief tells Congress

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Re: Karma

Yeah, look what happened last time.

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again

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Re: This is not good...

And the M1000 looks like it'll pee on any car under it.

Worried about Brexit food shortages? North Korean haute couture has just the thing

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Re: "Badger and fox are much more environmentally friendly ..."

It's not healthy, getting that much asshole in your diet....

Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

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Re: Taco Bell Shut Down!

Going for the Full Darwin?

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Re: Here fishy fishy

Fish aren't but hand grenades are...

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Re: Candidate failed

Is the Full Darwin anything like a Full Cleveland?

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

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Re: But...

"I'll have you know I write about toilets every other week."

....no shit

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

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Trollface

Re: Cotton, really?

" I'm sure they'd find a way to set up a sweatshop "

Will only work the first day. The Chinese don't seem to like insulation...

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

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Facepalm

"an IQ test passing grade"

What, like 70% or something? This would shut out almost everyone with IQs in the normal range.

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

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Re: One ring to rule them all?

Plagiarize the BOFH and just call it the Ring Of Fire...

IBM to kill off Watson... Workspace from end of February

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Devil

"IBM's sweaty corporate buttocks"

Citation needed...

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

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Re: LESTER

When I were a lad, we used to beat the interns with a stick until they enjoyed it.

Then we'd stop...

Huawei and Intel hype up AI hardware, TensorFlow tidbits, and more

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Re: Two down-votes.

all the upvotes were fake upvotes, of course...

If I could turn back time, I'd tell you to keep that old Radarange at home

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The birth of MTV

Microwave Time Variable

SpaceX sends Iridium-8 into space while Musk flaunts his retro rocket

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Trollface

Yeah, nothing more pathetic looking than a wrinkled Starship...

Just for EU, just for EU, just for EU: Forget about enforcing Right To Be Forgotten outside member states

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Re: The DMCA does it

Google is not actually the government of the US. Yet.

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Oh, but it would be fun to watch...

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

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Trollface

Re: the Eagle Nebula dubbed the Pillars of Creation

"I thought they were space meerkats."

No, the Space Meerkats was an impossibly stupid children's show put out by Sid and Marty Kroft....

Microsoft vows to destroy Office, er, offices: Campus to be demolished and rebuilt

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The Update of the Damned

If the folks at MS were Smart, they'd want us to remember the Update of the Damned because tacking the Phrase "of the Damned" onto anything makes it sound cooler.

Vegan Restaurant.... of the Damned

Herpes... of the Damned

Soiled underpants... of the Damned

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

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Re: The FBI paid him back in return for his services

"He'll go into witness protection and be given a new ID, etc."

Yes, he is now known as Ward Cleaver...

Mainframe brains-slurper sues IBM for 'age discrim', calls Ginny and biz 'morally bankrupt'

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Re: The downward spiral to the ground is well underway.

"To say that can be replaced with a database is absurd. Once that knowledge has left the company, it's never coming back.."

Why am I thinking of little Bobby Tables.....?

New Horizons snaps finish buffering: Ultima Thule actually two dust bunnies that got snuggly 4.5 billion years ago

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Thing 1 and Thing 2?

American bloke hauls US govt into court after border cops 'cuffed him, demanded he unlock his phone at airport'

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Re: MAGA

Yeah, but neither party could come up with anyone to beat him.

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Re: MAGA

But, because we're dumb, we elected a criminal pervert professional wrestling actor and the most popular movies in America are based on children's comic books.

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Re: 100 Miles From The Border

"And they say these searches are rare, then why do we read of so many happening?"

By rare, they mean that the searches are not well done.

Introducing 'Happy Quit', where Chinese smokers are text-spammed into nicotine abstinence

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Facepalm

oops

I meant those quitting opium cold turkey

My bad...

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What percentage of those who quit die from the withdrawl?

On the first day of Christmas, Microsoft gave to me... an emergency out-of-band security patch for IE

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Devil

Re: Really?

Only for downloading Chrome....

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Re: Here we go...

...but there aren't any vegan friendly choices!

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Re: It could work. I wonder how it tastes....

Nah, probably more like an incredible soy substitute.

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Re: 404: Bacon Not Found

"that artificially flavoured rubbish the yanks favour"

No we don't., our Corporate Overlords simply give us no choice...

Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD

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Devil

Re: About a billion years ago in internet time (call it 1986) ...

I once told my supervisor that down in Brazil, the gauchos hunted the gazebos to the verge of extinction, And he believed it.

Also around 1986....

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

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Coat

Re: 15 armed officers

Most people only have two...

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Re: It sounds like you're writing a letter...

Fortunately, it doesn't work that well. To really mess it up, use some weird language that twins make up.

.

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Re: I gotta hand it to them

They would gladly be the wipers of other people's bottoms if they could figure out how to monetize it.

The fastest, most secure browser? Microsoft Edge apparently

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Re: JAB

"On an iPhone 8 it would be less than 14 pixels high..."

I don't have a problem with that...

Home users due for a battering with Microsoft 365 subscription stick

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Re: Yes, what MS really needs now is more marketing...

"Anyway, a more "consumer" version of Office 365 I'm afraid could offer less features and somewhat simplified applications."

It's called 'Google Docs'.....

It's a, it's a, it's a SYN flood: Quick, ditch that packet

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Well, South Korea is a little behind the times - they're still using Internet Explorer 6 due to some dumb security law.

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