* Posts by Jos V

182 posts • joined 6 Jun 2014


National Enquirer's big Pecker tried to shaft me – but I wouldn't give him an inch, says Jeff Bezos after dick pic leak threat

Jos V


Let me get this straight..

So Bezos, whose company is hosting Pecker's, sent Gavin Becker to investigate Pecker, and Pecker tried to stop Gavin Becker by exposing Bezos' pecker, but instead Bezos exposed Pecker?

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...

Jos V


Don't want to sound pedantic, but in 1990 I think it was Cat-3, 10BaseT. Cat-4 and Cat-5 were introduced in 1991.

I guess it would have worked if it said "it was the 90's".

Only from the mid '90s did 100BaseT arrive as well.

Impressed with a 386 downloading 20MB. I'm not sure my HDD was much bigger at that time :-)

NASA's Chandra probe suddenly becomes an EX-ray space telescope (for now, anyway)

Jos V

Re: Windows 10 ?

I know right? It really fascinates me how this is done. I know it's all technically possible with our current technology, but I'd love to be that fly on the wall and see how.

Technology is beautiful in its complexity. Bravo to the engineers making it all work!

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work

Jos V

Re: Monitor

Lee, this is more prevalent than I wish it to be. I keep trying to educate my techies to work from the lowest layer up (including the layer between chair and keyboard), instead of having them do turn-off turn-on stuff and "see if it works now". To no avail, mostly.

I remember a callout at 2am Saturday morning where "the hub has failed, we replaced it, but systems are still down." Strange, as we don't have any hubs in the complex.

So, I go over there, even after enjoying a good Friday "activity", which is a 2km walk, driving was out of the question...

Only to find the "hub" being a c3650, which they slapped in without thinking of configuring.

Even if you think you've covered it all, things like that will make you go.. hmmmm

Assumption is your enemy when troubleshooting.

Oh, systems were back up and working in 15 minutes. Is configuring-while-intoxicated a crime?

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit

Jos V

Re: earthing stories ...

You can also find out if grounding in your setup is done proper when you try to measure the 80V/16hz ringer circuit output (as in telephone ring voltage), by hooking your 1:1 oscilloscope probe to ground and touch the ouput with the probe. It's very effective, and capacitors give of nasty smoke when they blow. Can be expensive too.. (it wasn't me, ex-boss, I swear)

Jos V

Re: It happened to colour TVs, too....

Truth that. I usually carried a magnet with me from a decommissioned subwoofer. You could "smear" the blot on the screen back out by expertly waving it over the screen. Magic! Usually tv sets that alligned north-south a long time would get that.

More fun with people putting plant pots on top of the set and watering all the time too heavily. And heavy plants would sometimes even break the circuit boards underneath, requiring a lot of trace resoldering. Extra points for fixing TV's by vacuuming the interior cob-webs and dustballs out.

Jos V

Ah, cleaning crews

Sometimes they can actually be helpful, unwittingly.

We had a team running bit error rate tests on an STM-64 test setup in our labs, only to find out that every morning there were a high number or errors over the line, which is not really acceptable in a 5-nines setup.

So, a crew was assigned to monitor the equipment over-night, and for a week they sat there, with nothing happening. 0 bits fell over.

That is, until one of the guys left the DC for a break, and while walking out in a half-zombie mode, switched off the lights, said sorry, and switched them back on. Bang: errors.

Turned out that every night, the cleaning crew would come in, and then upon leaving switched off the lights. First person in the next morning would turn the lights back on.. and there you go. It was a faulty starter in one of the overhead tube-light pair causing it.... While the guys were monitoring for a week, the light always stayed on.

(It did demonstrate a bit of a over-sensitivity to EMC in the equipment though.)

Boffins bash Google Translate for sexism

Jos V

Re: My hovercraft is full of eels

Well, if we're starting to quote Monty Python now, I think this one is fitting:


Keep your hands on the f*cking wheel! New Tesla update like being taught to drive by your dad

Jos V

Re: The autopilot is not an autopilot ?

A bit OT there, but "Because it was dark, had no visual confirmation" means your flying on Instrument Flight Rules. Key word being INSTRUMENT there.

The first officer was pilot flying and interpreted the situation wrong, and pulled the aircraft into a stall.

It also didn't help that the Captain tried to control the situation, but resulting in both pilots trying to to do opposite actions, which in an Airbus of the type, just cancels each out (one nose down, the other nose up, resulting in a neutral position, which was already up). You do get an aural warning "Dual input", and a red light saying the same on the glareshield, but both ignored it, for the most part of the way down. In other words, CRM was part to blame.

The aircraft was perfectly flyable otherwise...

Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

Jos V

Re: A career in television?

Spot on JassMan. I was wondering about that part.

After having to learn several languages while meandering around the globe, I've only ever considered having a decent grasp of the local language, when I could actually not just understand what was being said, but able to understand the jokes, with all the local contexts, and laugh about it.

Japanese humour is by far not the same as US, or British humour in this case.

Also, if anyone could develop an AI chatbot, that would recognise where a person was from, and then switch the conversation to match the cultural limits, and courtesy rules of that person's locale, now that would be impressive. If neigh-on impossible. Even humans seem mostly incapable of it.

F-35B Block 4 software upgrades will cost Britain £345m

Jos V

Re: "...it's booted into IOC, says there's a driver issue"

And 'round here where I work, Airbus pilots are called bus drivers :-)

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

Jos V

Re: Lost count...

Oh boy. HQ in Tel-Aviv.. Could I please fly out for a meeting in Sydney planned for the next morning, as "I'm in the country next to it". I wished sometimes HQ owned a globe (Jakarta-Sydney is about the same as London-NY).

Of course it didn't beat the rush job in Seattle that needed attention, while working in Melbourne, subsequently changed to LA, then Dallas (all east-bound), with a flight back to Melbourne through Dublin and Amsterdam.

Round-the-world trips are sooo romantic and adventurous :-)

(I have some news for you flat-Earthers around there)

Cyborg fined for riding train without valid ticket

Jos V

Re: Did he pay the appropriate fare for the journey?

I think the Ts & Cs are pretty clear on what you can and can't do with an Opal card.

If you get one, and use one, you agree to these, cyborg or not:


A good start is reading item 40.

IANAL, but point 82 seems pretty clear:

Acceptance of terms:

By using your Device as a ticket on a public passenger service you agree to be bound by the Terms of Use in force at that time. If you do not agree to be bound, you must refrain from using your Device.

What I (might have) missed from the article is whether or not his "card" was topped up, or if he was indeed traveling without paying. If you want to use PT, pay up.

More money than sense? Saudi Arabia invests $400m in Magic Leap

Jos V


A short search turned up this one:


Still though...

FBI chief asks tech industry to build crypto-busting not-a-backdoor

Jos V

Re: Have you ever done that thing...

Bastards! I'm was trying to erase that stupid song from my head. Now you've done it again.

May you walk around with "shine like a diamond" in your head for eternity!

Java EE renamed 'Jakarta EE' after Big Red brand spat

Jos V

Re: Krakatoa East Of Java

Well, yeah. And no. Krakatoa is more or less the Portuguese spelling of it, and the Indonesian name is Krakatau, but technically if you go far enough east of Java, you would end up at (now anak-)Krakatau. You'd hit Zanzibar before that actually.

It's not helpful when giving people directions though.

(Oh, and there is also a Zanzibar in the greater Jakarta region.)

Jos V

Re: Unsurprising outcome

Well, to be honest, if you would know Jakarta a bit, you'd probably know there is a bar called EP in Jakarta.

Stands for Eastern Promise, but I guess that would be a fitting name too.

Ex-Google recruiter: I was fired for opposing hiring caps on white, Asian male nerds

Jos V

Re: The art of discrimination

I'll explain "merit" and how I "discriminated". Every applicant that had his/her CV land on my desk would get the same 10 question survey emailed to them. Emailed for a purpose. That being, if it took more than a day to reply, it would automatically end in the bin, and second, if I copy-paste your answer in google and it is a copy-paste from a Cisco manual only one of two things could happen... First, you don't know the answer, but manage to find out. Bravo. Second, if more than 2 answers were copied from some source or another without showing any signs of actual knowledge, the bin.

The opening was mostly for pretty complicated work (well, no), lots of travel, and no "office hours".

1: Explain the difference between a hub, a switch, and a router



10: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Between those, I "discriminated" a lot.

I needed to have a team that could both work together as a team, and be able to sit in a crap, remote, smelly, cold, devoid of any communications (even working in a telco) by themselves and do the job without help. As many of us commentards probably know, data-centers are never really in prime real-estate areas.(Thank you Sunshine, Brimbank with your abattoir next to the A/C intakes)

Coincidentally, the team I worked with was more diverse than you would find in most companies, but everyone could work alone, or as a well-oiled team together.

I think there is a definition of discrimination that calls it something like separating bad from good.

If I start judging people on race/religion/gender/gender-identity, you may kill me. Well, knowing Monty Python was just a bit of icing.

Jos V

Re: ticking the boxes...

yeah, I get company surveys too, which say it will be totally anonymous. Then again I'm the only employee in the country here on my cost center...

I guess it would be fun to read the outcome of country X evaluation though.

As for race... After half my life as an expat.. I'm not so sure anymore :-)

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Jos V

Re: Funny but contrived

You've never worked in IT, have you?

Chilly willies: Swedish nudie nightclub opens in -11°C to disgust of locals

Jos V

Re: Swedish Winter..

FWIW, many moons ago, a bunch of my friends went to Mosquito Lagoon, FL. They found out why it carries that name. One of them had to be hospitalised for anaphylactic shock treatment.

What's in a name, eh?

Jos V

Re: IT?

"Come naked. Come as you are. Do whatever you want. Everything stays here," the club promo stated. Apparently, there are areas where guests can "do what you feel right now and then".

Sounds like the your typical night-shift in a data center to me. Even the part where you freeze your nuts off because it's so darn cold...

Edit: Someone beat me to it already. We really have cool jobs, don't we?

That terrifying 'unfixable' Microsoft Skype security flaw: THE TRUTH

Jos V

yeah... but but but..

"Far be it from us to run to Microsoft's rescue, but the vulnerability is present in Skype for Windows versions 7.40 and lower. In October 2017, Microsoft released version 8 without the flaw, so if you kept up to date, you're fine. If you're running version 7 for some reason, get version 8."

Ok, going to Help->about:

Skype Version

Right, so let's go help-> Check for updates:

"You already have the latest version of Skype installed"

So... it seems not to automatically update.

If the now brand new download from the MS site doesn't work, I'll be right angry.

What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

Jos V

Speeding ticket...

Did El-Reg miss the part where WA police send Elon Musk a speeding ticket? :-)


Tech biz boss slipped Detroit's IT chief bungs in restaurant bathrooms to bag software deals, prosecutors claim

Jos V


Better not try getting business in certain Asian countries (and probably elsewhere around the globe). Taking your customers out to certain establishments for a night of entertainment will set you back a bit more than a measly $400...

Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

Jos V


Many moons ago I was put in the lead for putting a newly acquired company's product line through QA testing (the company I work for was a big global corp).

The company paid muchos dineros for said company+product, so they wanted it in their active product line as soon as possible.

The only problem was, that even though it was a reasonably good product, for 6 months it kept failing my tests on the sometimes smallest of details (a fix in the T1 protocol would introduce a bug in E1 mode, things like that).

Every change meant I did a full regression test.

In the mean time all the PMs, AMs, and direct managers were hammering on me to release the product. I kept wondering for how long I would keep my job...

6 months was the end of it. Not my job though. The newly acquired company and their product were canned.

It was one of those rare companies where in the end, QA/QC was taken very serious..

Not anonymous, as the company doesn't exist anymore, or speaks French now.

Jos V

Re: Oh, the irony!


This is not necessarily caused by mis-configuration on ElReg. There are a number of other reasons for this to happen, like a corporate network monitoring product intercepting secure traffic and replacing certificates, Microsoft safe "Family" settings, which replace the certificates with a MS certificate so they can do monitor/filter traffic, or your local security software doing much the same (ESET, AVAST, BitDefender, etc.)....

Here we go again... UK Prime Minister urges nerds to come up with magic crypto backdoors

Jos V

Re: You want a back door?

And then, years later, the new supercomputer will just spew out one answer: 42

New phishing campaign uses 30-year-old Microsoft mess as bait

Jos V

Outlook crap

This is an issue of two steaming piles of crap. The first being the idiot accountants/procurement ppl, the second being Outlook.

I handle POs and invoices a plenty, but never in my world do I open one if I didn't ask for one, or didn't expect one. And even if I do, I double check with the vendor directly. Only aardvarks with less of an IQ than a demented hamster open these malicious attachments and the only equipment they should be allowed to work with is a stapler and an unconnected copy machine.

Just last week I received one of these "invoices" from a company unknown, and here's where Microsoft falls on it's face. The attachment was in the form of "invoice.doc.jar". Does Outlook mark it as a jar file? NO. It shows a nice Word icon, as it doesn't look beyond the first extension name. My explorer settings are set to show all extensions and hidden files. Outlook happily does not comply. And why the hell does Outlook not flag a .jar file in an email attachment (why it even punches through corporate mail filters is equally questionable)?

There is just no excuse for anyone employed by any company for opening these kind of attachments, but Microsoft sure is not helping!

Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

Jos V

Re: So much for digital

Well, it might be because we have 10 fingers, but in the older days, trades folks used their thumbs to count the phalanx bones of the fingers. 12 on each hand, for a total of 12 x 12 =144.

Hell desk to user: 'I know you're wrong. I wrote the software. And the protocol it runs on'

Jos V

Re: Lotus cc:Mail

Andy 28, similar maybe to me having to find out that the new piece of hardware from the US marked the transmission headers as SDH, but kept the rest of the payload as SONET? :-)

NASA lights humongous rocket that goes nowhere ... until 2019

Jos V

Re: Lawn-laying instructions?

You might not have heard about them, but Kulula Air has all kinds of funny livery:


They also have a "this side up" livery. Google images will show more.

Have a good weekend all.

'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

Jos V

Re: Scuh-zee IS the official pronunciation in some circles

Truth that. In my telecoms days in one US office they kept asking me to "please set their misdun."

(MSISDN for those who not familiar). It took me a while to figure out what they were on about...

Lexmark patent racket busted by Supremes

Jos V

Re: Epson extortion

True that. A friend bought an Epson printer a while back, and it has refillable containers. Just squeeze the refill into the tanks on the side.

Only too bad the heads took only about 4 months to develop stripes and were unable to clean. Took the repair shop to tell him it was bust.

BA CEO blames messaging and networks for grounding

Jos V

No more?

"Cruz has also promised never again have such an experience with BA"

Why, because soon he will be "pursuing different opportunities?"

It's Russian hackers, FBI and Wikileaks wot won it – Hillary Clinton on her devastating election loss

Jos V

Re: Hillary is having trouble "getting it"

Well, at least she was insured then I suppose :-p

Trump's govt hiring freeze means there's no US Privacy Shield chief: We tracked down the woman filling in for now

Jos V


" if he reads the Register article for instance,"

He reads?

Printer blown to bits by compressed air

Jos V

Re: Dangerous

Basic tenets of work: If it 1) makes more noise than you can make, or 2) goes faster than you could achieve, or 3) can go higher than you can jump, treat it with respect.

I'm inclined to add 4) if it blows more wind than you can...

We know what you're thinking: Where the hell is all the antimatter?

Jos V

Re: The thing about anti-matter

Yeah true, or...

So close no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

And nothing else matters

Jos V

Re: Mexit, of course

LeeE, were you looking for this to illustrate the point?


Robots are killing jobs after all, apparently: One droid equals 5.6 workers

Jos V

Robot jobs

I think the best job to replace with robots would be beancounters. Just feed it data, and it gives back computed output. In that way we can take away from them the only thing they were sneakingly allowed to have over time more and more, which is making business decisions, which they should never have been allowed to have any sort of power over in the first place.

Coffee time.

Linux-using mates gone AWOL? Netflix just added Linux support

Jos V


That's a lie. I just installed mint 18 while reading through this comment thread, on a second laptop. So it's at least 4 now. :-p

Huawei's P10 breathing on Samsung's shoulder

Jos V


Someone please tell me when there's a decent cheap bugger of a replacement for my Moto-G (2nd gen).

I can't be arsed about all the menu swipe squirly wirly stuff.

Or maybe I'm just grumpy today.

Shock report: 92 per cent of US government websites totally suck

Jos V

El Reg

You killed one of my favourite time killers, the reg app. With all it's shortcomings, it was still good to peruse through sitting in the pub trying to ignore annoying people, waiting for friends to come in (why am I always early to pub meetings?) m.theregister doesn't cut it for me.

Oh well.

Look! Up in the sky! Is it a drone? Is it a car? It's both, crossed with Uber

Jos V

not new...

I think they might be late to the game as Dubai is launching the service in July..


It looks cool, but I'll wait a bit to let the wrinkles to be ironed out.

Is your child a hacker? Liverpudlian parents get warning signs checklist

Jos V

Re: sidetopic

Oh well, vote me down. Guess a side topic like this makes me a hacker too. Arrest me!

(Does it help when I say I spent a lot of time focused on the ZX81 as my first real computery thingy?)

I'm off to program snakes now.

Jos V

Re: Being a criminal has little to do with the list as given.

P. Lee. Just as a helper here (side topic), most sites accept when you enter your email as <yourMail+siteName@domain.com>

Using the + there to add the site you're filling the email box on. This way, any emails you receive through their sharing of it will contain the culprit.

Just saying...

US Homeland Security is so secure even its own staff can't log in

Jos V


Can we roll over to 2018 already? 2017 has worn me out

US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

Jos V

Sod facebook

As if timing it, i received a mail from facebook today (legit email source too) saying someone had been trying to my account.

I closed my account in 2009 after tinkering with it for a couple of weeks, but only did a deactivate action in the settings and forgot about the whole thing.

My hosts file directs all facebook links to, and I don't have the app, was a bit surprised.

So, I checked it out, and it turns out my account came back from life as was in 2009. The cheeky bastards. I heard about this, but you'd think that after 8 years it would have been cleared...

Anyways, if you really want to get rid of the bloody thing, they promise they will remove all your data and your account when going here, after no further login for 2 weeks:


Just need to log in one last time.

Now, as for the US asking for my account details though... We'll just see.

Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Jos V

Re: Don't let Trump speak officially in the UK.

2017, the year of Windows 10 and Trump..

Tongue in cheek :-p


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019