* Posts by Psmo

137 posts • joined 21 May 2014

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'Hey Google, remind Greg the locks have been changed, and he should find a new place to live. Maybe ask his mistress?'

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Re: Hey Google

Even if you got one, Google wouldn't stop the adverts.

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Re: Hey Google

And ordering may be critical for some of those.

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Re: Hey Google!

OK. Who were you again?

It's Friday lunchtime on International Beer Day. Bitter hop to it, boss'll be none the weiser

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Re: 66.5 litres = 117 pints

Ah. Really letting the side down now with a crate of smalls (25ml).

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Pint

Re: 66.5 litres = 117 pints

Me too, haven't had a bottle of beer in months.

Pints and cans only.

Neuroscientist used brainhack. It's super effective! Oh, and disturbingly easy

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Flame

Re: Let them dopamine themselves to death

How is that not a win-win situation?

While it's not your loved-ones involved, sure.

We would also be making sure all the exciting people never reproduce.

Basically the future sounds like Coldplay.

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Coat

Re: Sod it, wheres my datajack?

Good news:

  • it's all available for a low low price, and the doctor will see you now

Bad news:

  • no IOUs
  • your jack connectors will be obsolete in a few so you'll have to do the operation again
  • the data is subscription only
  • let me just get my smock...

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Coat

Re: Tin foil helmet

Scramble suits have been talked about in Philip K. Dick and Harry Harrison (and probably others) to counteract camera and visual recording.

There may well be a market for an audio and radio-frequency equivalent before too long.

Maybe something to make the signal so diffuse that it merges into background ?

How to avoid getting burned at Black Hat, destroyed at DEF CON or blindsided by Bsides

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Boffin

A real flash drive.

Broadcom billionaire Henry Nicholas and pal on drugs rap cough up $1m to avoid the clink

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Re: Money Talks

I think one particular hotel is going to find a drop in their rich bastard clientele.

They won't like a tell-tale.

This is not the cloud you're looking for.... Oracle's JEDI mind tricks work as Trump forces $10bn IT project to drop out of warp

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Mushroom

I don't mind.

Just sit back, grab the popcorn and watch things explode.

And occasionally throw unpopped kernels at the conversation.

(Where's my "Where's the popcorn?" icon, el-Reg?)

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Re: a really stupid way to run a country?

I would blame Tesla if it tried to drive under a trailer and chopped my head off, yeah I'd definitely blame Tesla

I'm not sure you'd be in a state to blame anyone.

Google shores up G Suite against hapless users in the enterprise: App whitelist, physical security keys, and more

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Re: The best safeguard for employees who are dumb enough to fall for every scam

More likely a Boss.

Reminds me of a BOFH:

- Who is your superior?

- Evolutional or hierarchical

Lyft pulls its e-bike fleet from San Francisco Bay Area after exploding batteries make them the hottest seat in town

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Re: Looks like the technology hasn't been properly studied

had to look up what berk means

Look up the full meanings of Loki's insults from Avengers, then do a deep dive into Shakespearean barbs . Your enemies across the board table may be perplexed, but their bosses may love you.

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Re: Looks like the technology hasn't been properly studied

While I would agree that the power output between cooking my crotch and giving it a full English has drastically different power outputs, I would venture that One is more agreeable. YMMV.

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Re: RED HOTS ... RED HOTS ...

Red-sots-rear?

Truth in advertising can it be?

Cambridge Analytica didn't perform work for Leave.EU? Uh, not so fast, says whistleblower

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Headmaster

Re: No One Cares

people who use the term "tu quoque"?

Using Latin in real conversation means you're already there.

No use rubbing it in.

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Megaphone

Re: rewrite required

Your version would never get filmed.

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Which is irrelevant

The point is by using ad targetting tools, you can run parallel opposing campaigns; one to encourage and one to discourage.

This is usable in any situation where political opinion is largely along community lines identifiable in population sector targetting.

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

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Mushroom

Re: Just asking ....

Run for the hills!

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Go

Re: Outsourced?

With the introduction of dodgy-curry-Fridays.

Also known as asset liquidation day.

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Holmes

Re: Tracking...

The transactions are also logs.

And we're back live with the state of the smartphone market in 2019. Any hope? Yeah, nah

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Re: Only 3 years late ..

With the number of predictions, odds are that one or two will be right.

And that none of the correct ones will be mine.

Fed-up graphic design outfit dangles cash to anyone who can free infosec of hoodie pics

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Re: Moderatrix?

Or with a distressed expression while the hand above their head holds a folder?

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Terminator

Real metaphors for hacking

Someone up to their hips in crap (having evidently just gone diving) holding a set of keys

Well dressed businesswoman tailgating through a restricted access door

Businessman grabbing a notebook off a desk looking knowingly at the camera

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Windows

Re: Truth in advertising

For some of us, every day is Feeling-Old Day.

Meet ELIoT – the EU project that wants to commercialize Internet-over-lightbulb

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Alert

Re: First radio, now light...

It would avoid the problem of people pinching and damaging the cables.

You'd need more cleaning staff though.

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Re: First radio, now light...

My latest decoder has a remote that goes has the option of connecting through WiFi, so it will work through walls.

Weird to have a remote that needs software updates though.

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Re: So we are going to have flickering streetlights everywhere

That's going to be prohibitively expensive for Councils.

If they can get the mobile operators to support the rollout and lease the infrastructure it could be interesting, though.

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Boffin

There's a modern invention calling the zoetrope that would probably help.

Or waving your hands really fast in front of the light.

And ask a mate to thump the wall to add ambience.

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Alien

Re: Eliot..

Oooouuuuuuuuch......

Dot-org price-cap scrap latest: Now ICANN accused of snubbing registrars with 'sham' public comment process

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Angel

Re: Question...

I think there was a best practice meeting

Emotional abusers and dictators seem to follow a code of practice too. CS Lewis had it right:

“How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different the saints.”

The interesting part is how they don't actually seem to know one another...

For heaven's sake: Japan boffins fail to release paper planes in space after rice wine added to rocket fuel

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Paris Hilton

LMGFY : 89,591ft = 27,3km so double what this launch managed, though only a quarter of what the third launch (113.4km) managed.

For PARIS as far as I recall release was not manual or timed, but was dependent on a pressure release to ensure that premature ejection did not occur. This went through a lot of variations as it proved quite tricky.

Maybe the guy with the manual release got his sums on the rise rate wrong?

Stones, meet glass house: Mind behind Windows 8 GUI disses Windows 10 over leak

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Pint

Temp Office

As for the change, we'd suggest something like "Orifice Online", or "are we too cheap to just have the proper Office apps?"

Office Where-did-the-wifi-go

Office Shit-who-reset-the-router

Always-on Office (lies in advertising)

Office 359 (truth in advertising!)

Can't we just have Office (soon to be heard in offices : "<Can't>'s offline again")

Online Office ConnectionLost (putting the "Off" into Office)

Nevermind-there's-always-LibreOffice (marketing campaign "grasp the NETAL" ?)

Our sales were to genuine customers, Autonomy ex-CEO Mike Lynch insists in court

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Re: Ahh, it's Friday...

Well inverted cow is traditional, but porcine aviation could really disrupt the market.

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Boffin

Re: Ahh, it's Friday...

HP : Ahh yes, about that.. we have this giant badger...

Ah, so either the Bedevere defense, or the Bodger defense.

Unfortunately the former is weak against aerial mammals, and the latter against mashed potatoes.

Somebody is working on a $600m data center in Lincoln, Nebraska, could rhyme with schmoogle

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Holmes

I can see a few reasons:

1. If the contractors know that they're working for big-$$-corp, rather than small-$$-corp they might put their quotes together differently?

2. Direct competitor big-$$-corp might try and slow-down the project

3. Hiding facilities from prying eyes and hands is a good thing; as we all know security is nearly impossible against someone with access to the bare metal.

There's probably more...

Braking bad? Van with £112m worth of crystal meth in back hits cop car at police station

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Stop

Re: Always remember the first rule....

Or just brake before the first law, man.

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Windows

Et Tu Commentards?

Half a page of comments, and not one comment with the guy's name?

A bad dealer blames his Tu-s?

Simon says "lose your stash!"

I know it's the end of the day, but I expect better from my free entertainment.

When you play the game of Big Spendy Thrones, nobody wins – your crap chair just goes missing

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Pint

Re: A more satisfying outcome ...

Hey, I'd probably watch it when it turned up on Syfy.

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Re: A more satisfying outcome ...

Not among that other crap...

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Circular argument, though, Shirley?

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Re: ... 'Are you the BOFH's understudy?'

And certainly more permanent.

Pair programming? That's so 2017. Try out this deep-learning AI bot that autocompletes lines of source code for you

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Mushroom

Re: Faster train wrecks

Nah, train wrecks is so two years ago.

We're into plane wrecks now.

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Re: No, just....no!

Yup, it's got to the stage where cancelling autocomplete is in muscle-memory.

From time to time, I have to redo the line for the 20% of the time it comes out with something useful.

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Coat

Re: Non sequitur

"I ate up his liver with some NetBeans and a nice Apache deployment" ?

The one with the straps, ta. No trolley, I can walk.

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"I see you have used a regex. Which two problems would like to add to your code?"

TypeScript is now a 'top 10' language – just in time for the 'feature complete' 3.6 beta

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Paris Hilton

Re: PHP at number 4, maybe it's time...

Well, I'd say that's more JS-less; the html and server-side scripting are doing all the heavy-lifting.

Without any actions or real nouns I have trouble defining CSS as a language.

You're right, though; with pagination header and footer descriptors CSS is starting to look more like one, so it may get there eventually.

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Boffin

PHP at number 4, maybe it's time...

Nope, still would rather debug my defective eyes with a logic probe.

On a less gouging note: Sure you can write a little logic in CSS, but as it's just descriptors I wouldn't say that it was Turing-complete without an html page to act on.

So what's that doing there?

Rust in peace: Memory bugs in C and C++ code cause security issues so Microsoft is considering alternatives once again

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Re: Hummmmm

https://tiobe.com/tiobe-index/

RUST not even in the top 20. Neither is Kotlin, I might add...

So RUST is just behind... LOGO ?

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