* Posts by el_oscuro

122 posts • joined 14 May 2014

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

el_oscuro

Re: PBKAC

Back in 2008, working a new project, I encountered Office 2007 for the first time. I wanted to print the database upgrade plan and I couldn't figure out to do it with the stupid ribbon thing. So I asked the system admin how to print. He admitted he didn't know either, but the old DOS shortcut (control/P) still worked. So I used it, and continue to use it today. Those old DOS shortcuts still work in almost every program, regardless of OS or platform, so I can safely ignore shitty new UI's even today!

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Alexa, please cause the cops to raid my home

el_oscuro

Re: So is Alexa now the.....

I have a mis-remembered quote too. In Blue Thunder, the original quote was "Come on, you tub of shit". But I misremembered to "Come on, you piece of shit". Give that I work in IT, it is something I've uttered daily for 30 years and is now a full blown office meme.

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Fresh bit o' Linux to spruce up that ancient Windows Vista box? Why not, we say...

el_oscuro

Re: Um....

I always thought that 87% of all statistics are actually pulled out of ones arse.

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New phishing campaign uses 30-year-old Microsoft mess as bait

el_oscuro
FAIL

What is one of the first things you might want to do with a document that you receive? Print it maybe? Well you can't do that from the sandbox/preview mode, so you have to "enable editing" just to print.

So yes, that sandbox mode is totally useless, except for training users to click on everything,

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Bombastic boss gave insane instructions to sensible sysadmin, with client on speakerphone

el_oscuro
WTF?

Re: When it hit that limit... everything stopped until we could free up some space

I'm utterly baffled about these limits. My Oracle database hit 1TB - back in 2001 on Windows NT 4, and with no sign of getting anywhere a limit. Doesn't Outlook use SQL server as it's backend? I'm pretty sure that even back then, SQL server could go over 2TB.

And in 2012, we still had that Oracle database running on Windows 2003, then over 200TB and growing by at least 2TB a month.

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

el_oscuro

Re: I want unicorns!

You can order them now, and they are actually in stock:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e5a7/?pfm=Search&t=canned%20unicorn%20meat

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

el_oscuro
Pint

Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

You mean like beer? And you are right. Hate will fuck you up big time.

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but Microsoft's 'Ms Pac-Man beating AI' is more Automatic Idiot

el_oscuro

From the other side

Did that once, about 1981. My dad had a computer with 9.6 modem and VT100/NCURSES. So being a teenager, I had to make a pacman game. The 9.6 baud imposed severe speed limitations and I had to only have 2 monsters. I was doing this in assembly as the shitty BASIC on the computer didn't have event handlers for keystrokes.

Once I got the movement and controls sorted out, I had to do a good chase algorithm. If I just programmed the monsters to go towards the player, they could become trapped in the maze. Even if they reversed and went around, they were utterally predictable.

So with the help of my dad, I coded an RNG in assembly to make a monster take a random path every 5 moves or so. With that change, those monsters were downright nasty!

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Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

el_oscuro
Mushroom

Re: Something less conspicuous and deniable

I think they have already weaponized it.

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Squirrel sinks teeth into SAN cabling, drives Netadmin nuts

el_oscuro

Re: Best traps

Another way is to use one way traps. You have to rodent proof the place anyway, and that means finding out where they are getting in. The one way trap is some sort of pipe that they can fit in that leads down and out, but doesn't allow them back in.

The contractor that cleared up my bat infestation did this and it worked perfectly.

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el_oscuro

Re: Best traps

I had a bat infestation in the attic and called the county for advice. Nothing like having a bat fly into your bedroom at 3am!

Any the contractor devised some ingenious one-way traps to get rid of the bats - a small pipe attached to the vents which led downward and away from the house. When the bats left to go search for food, they would be able to make it out through the trap, but couldn't get back in. No more bats!

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Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

el_oscuro

Re: Microsoft time

It wasn't a progress bar, but an older POS that probably ran Windows XP. Buying about $30 dollars of stuff, and it rang up to $2,147,483,618.

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User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

el_oscuro

Re: Jammed...

Literally the first thing I thought about when I read the title:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcArnepkhv0

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el_oscuro

Re: Back in the 1990's...

I still have a model M from one of those ancient PS/2s. A good soaking of denture cleaner removed 20 years of gunk from it.

I used to think that if the zombie apocalypse comes, my model M would be a good weapon for fighting off imps. However a co-worker recently got an anodized aluminium case for a mechanical keyboard. Thing weighs 10 pounds and would be about as effective as Gordon Freeman's crowbar.

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el_oscuro
Boffin

Re: jam

You do know you can actually get those, right?

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SpaceX yoinks $96m GPS launch deal from under ULA's nose

el_oscuro
WTF?

Supposed to launch in 2024?

SpaceX is doing it now. By 2024, they will probably strap 5 Falcon 9's around a centre one, call it the "Falcon 42" and have single stage to moon. :)

Even if ULA does launch, I would hate to be that helicopter pilot who tries to catch it. I mean what could possibly go wrong?

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FBI boss: 'Memories are not absolutely private in America'

el_oscuro

Re: failing at your job

"It’s the wild colour scheme that freaks me out. Every time you try and operate these weird black controls that are labeled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up in black to let you know you’ve done it."

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User rats out IT team for playing games at work, gets them all fired

el_oscuro

Re: Yes. He was.

While on shift, we used to play Axis and Allies (the original Milton Bradley one), with full battle sets, little plastic planes taking off from little plastic aircraft carries, lots of die to roll to determine battle results, etc. If we didn't set up the board that day, you better believe a good game of Spades or Bid Whist was in action. But our backups were always good, our jobs checked, and everything was dress-right-dress. When it wasn't nobody was even thinking about a game. The shit had to be done.

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Finally proof that Apple copies Samsung: iPhone 7 Plus halts, catches fire like a Galaxy Note 7

el_oscuro
Mushroom

GTA mod

I wonder if they have come out with a GTA mod for it yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GhODn4FRoE

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Blundering Boeing bod blabbed spreadsheet of 36,000 coworkers' personal details in email

el_oscuro

It's all shitty. Besides the obvious WTF that this employee had all this info, why the fuck is Boeing even selling an IT security product (that they didn't even use), when their business is making aeroplanes? Who thinks of Boeing when evaluating IT security products?

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Brilliant phishing attack probes sent mail, sends fake attachments

el_oscuro

Re: Hide extensions for known file types

The dangers of this option have been known for at least 20 years. Why it is still even a thing is beyond me.

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Folders return to Windows 10's Start Thing

el_oscuro

Re: Windows 10 can F*CK right off...

1984 called. DOS 3.1 wants its folders back

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How Rogue One's Imperial stormtroopers SAVED Star Wars and restored order

el_oscuro
Unhappy

I found out about an hour before seeing the movie. I didn't even realize the scene at the end was CG.

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Dear hackers, Ubuntu's app crash reporter will happily execute your evil code on a victim's box

el_oscuro
FAIL

Apport

That shit has been such a pain in the ass that removing it is the very first thing I do with a new ubuntu installation for years:

$ sudo apt-get remove apport

Doesn't everyone else do this? How can they actually live with the system if they don't?

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Microsoft's cmd.exe deposed by PowerShell in Windows 10 preview

el_oscuro

Re: TCC

TCC == Take Command (4NT/4DOS)

http://www.jpsoft.com

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el_oscuro

Re: Yet another Windows 10 annoyance

CMD.EXE is also quite powerful if somewhat kludgey. It even has excellent man pages with detailed usage examples that can be accessed by typing in "help"

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el_oscuro

Re: "a script that will output the IP of the current machine"

4NT has a lot of builtin environment variables for stuff like this, i.e: %_IPADDRESS

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BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

el_oscuro

Re: I generally prefer hand tools,

Sometimes if you don't have access to wolves, standard office supplies like security forms and HVAC systems will do the job:

http://dilbert.com/strip/2010-02-03

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Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

el_oscuro

Re: OK time for some fact-based info

Over here in northern VA, the local Dicks sporting goods has a complete section with hunting rifles and shotguns. They are behind the counter but not locked.

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Half! a! billion! Yahoo! email! accounts! raided! by! 'state! hackers!'

el_oscuro

Re: An observation - it is possible the passwords have been cracked

Most websites handle websites wrong. Unless they are using a correct password has with a random per record salt, they can be cracked. If they are using any type of encryption or an unsalted hash, they might as well be plaintext.

So if a website you use is breached, consider everything (passwords, email, security questions, etc) you used there compromised.

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el_oscuro

Re: A bit elitist aren't you El Reg?

Gmail has full imap support too. I use it with thunderbird. Instructions for setting up most clients can be found here:

https://support.google.com/mail/answer/78892?hl=en

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You call it 'hacking.' I call it 'investigation'

el_oscuro
Alert

Re: Security questions

Those "security questions" aren't. They are really just passwords that are usually stored in the database in clear text. Hackers don't look your mums name from public records, as they probably don't know who you actually are. They just get SQLi on some crappy website and dump the database. Then they know what answers you use for those questions and can pwn you on other websites.

For anything important,, I use keepassx to manage my passwords and have a script to generate answers for those questions from /dev/random. I store the answers in keepass along with the questions so I never have to remember anything.

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el_oscuro

"I can't recall the last time my bank called me, it has been at least a decade."

I get calls all the time - one from "Dept of Justice" with the guy being very threatening, saying I could be prosecuted if I didn't pay the fine. Official looking caller ID and all, scary as shit. I looked up the number and it was a Majic Jack number from San Bernadino. Somehow I didn't think it was the real DOJ.

The government doesn't call you anyway, they send mail. And if it is really nasty, the summons is delivered by the sheriff. But scammers use mail too. I once got something official from the "Department of Commerce" with a return address of 2000 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC NW, about 4 blocks from the White House. So I looked it up and it was a shopping center.

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BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

el_oscuro

Re: Window?

Acme now has an online catalog. You can purchase this and many other useful office supplies here:

http://acme.com/catalog/acme.html

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Forget Khan and Klingons, Star Trek's greatest trick was simply surviving

el_oscuro

Martin Luther King was number one fan

In the 1960's, TV in the US was lilly white - nothing like it is now. The only black people you saw on TV was maids. And Star Trek comes along and a black woman was a lead character and 4th in command of a fricking starship!

Anyway, Nichelle Nichols was ready to quit the show to pursue a Broadway career, but at a Beverly Hills fund raiser, she was supposed to meet her "number one Star Trek fan".

It was MLK.

“This man says, ‘Yes, Ms. Nichols, I am that fan. I am your best, greatest fan, and my family are your greatest fans. As a matter of fact, this is the only show that my wife Corretta and I will allow our little children to watch, to stay up late to watch because it’s past their bedtime.'”

King said he admired Nichols’s work and the role Roddenberry had created for her, one with dignity.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/09/08/why-star-trek-was-so-important-to-martin-luther-king-jr/

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Excel abuse hits new heights as dev uses VBA to code spreadsheet messaging app

el_oscuro

Re: @Gene Cash

I once wrote a full assembler with the complete 6502 instruction set in Commodore 64 basic - because I didn't have the $30 for the official one from Commodore.

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NASA sets the date for Martian robot drilling rig to lift off

el_oscuro

Re: Opportunity

Obligatory XKCD:

https://xkcd.com/1504/

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My Microsoft Office 365 woes: Constant crashes, malware macros – and settings from Hell

el_oscuro

Re: "Lots of people want network diagrams..."

I used to use Visio for designing kitchen cabinets and floor plans, something it was extremely useful for. Then it was bought out by Microsoft and everything has went down hill since.

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el_oscuro

Re: Maybe

I thought Microsoft bought out Sirius Cybernectics corporation about 20 years ago. I think their first release was https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Bob

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Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

el_oscuro

Re: Be advised: Doors in Star Wars may close prematurely or not at all.

Maybe they accidentally installed the doors from the garbage compacter on the Death Star instead?

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

el_oscuro

Re: Nahh, the old Star Trek was for nerds...

And the brawl we be started by Scotty when the Klingon's talk shit about the Enterprise.

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How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

el_oscuro

Re: Article picture

That's one thing El Reg needs, the ability to upload a picture like ARS has.

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How to scam $750,000 out of Microsoft Office: Two-factor auth calls to premium-rate numbers

el_oscuro

Didn't Ford Prefect do that by phoning up the time service from Alpha Centauri or somewhere like that?

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Microsoft's Windows 10 nagware goes FULL SCREEN in final push

el_oscuro

Re: A final throw of the M$ dice before?

M$ dose seem a bit dated now. Some bloke came up with a clever new one:

Micros~1

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Countdown to Jupiter: Juno just seven days from orbit

el_oscuro

Re: ...when it will get dropped onto the planet.

Didn't we try that with Jupiter about 6 years ago? IIRC, the planet kindof... exploded.

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Ransomware scum build weapon from JavaScript

el_oscuro

Of course in *nix based systems, files must be explicitly marked as executable by the user before they can run. An the the current directory is not in the path, making accidentally executing something difficult.

Windows on the other hand seems to make it as easy as possible to execute malicious code, with that stupid "hide extensions of known file types", *everything* being executable and the random directory you are in being the first entry in your path.

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Sophos U-turns on lack of .bat file blocking after El Reg intervenes

el_oscuro

Re: So...

.com, .pif, and .bin are also oldies but goodies.

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The 'new' Microsoft? I still wouldn't touch them with a barge pole

el_oscuro

Re: Seriously!

Oh, yes, that patent from Micros~1. I wonder if they have also patented "Hide extensions of known file types" and the "Microsoft sort"

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The least stressful job in the US? Information security analyst, duh

el_oscuro

Re: What a coincidence!

I didn't see propane/propane accessories salesman in that list.

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Password reuse bot steals creds from weak sites, logs in to banks

el_oscuro

Obligatory XKCD

So this guy is writing bots now?

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