* Posts by Glenturret Single Malt

246 posts • joined 30 Apr 2014


Sophos Windows users face black screens after false positive snafu

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I don't think RedHat, Mint or Linux are AV Software are they?

Viruses is the plural of virus, like omnibus (bus), callus, grampus etc. etc.

Super Cali goes ballistic, IT school is hopeless: Tech boot camp ITT frozen by edu officials

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: The title is no longer required

Not sure if this was the first such example of a spoof on Supercalifragilistic....etc. but on 8th February 2000, Inverness Caledonian Thistle (then a second tier club) beat Celtic in Glasgow in the Scottish Cup. Next day, The Scottish Sun splashed the following headline: SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS.

Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Anyone who puts the milk in tea whilst the bag is still in the cup

I like the idea of a callus attack on a working man. Would he be a horny-handed son of the soil by any chance?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Agree completely. Mind you, stuff like Yorkshire Tea, Tetley's, Typhoo is such shite that putting milk in it is the only way to make it remeotely palatable.

Microsoft adds useful feature to PowerPoint. Seriously

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: "add any other overly fancy use of language and management terms at will"

I have often found members of the armed forces to be very fond of unexplained acronyms.

Question: What's missing in Microsoft's data science professional degree?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Is this..

Like product placement in television programmes.

Lindsay Lohan ‘happy’ to turn on Kettering

Glenturret Single Malt

Tut, tut. Women in this profession are called actors nowadays.

Amazon's AWS cash machine embiggens, breezes past $2bn-a-quarter mark

Glenturret Single Malt


That's two headlines in the same issue with the word "embiggens".

Docker hired private detectives to pursue woman engineer's rape, death threat trolls

Glenturret Single Malt

My son, when a student, had to give up a catering job after just a few days for exactly that reason (about 25 years ago).

Trouble at t'spinning rust mill: Disk drive production is about to head south

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: t' glottal stop

au contraire to au contraire.

There are plenty of examples in the vdeo where the glottal stop is used as I recall it from my time spent living in the north of England. I would say that the occasions it is not used are when the performers are forcing the words to fit the rhythm of the music.

Obama to admit Moon landing was faked?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: in his 80's, with half a lung

Even though he's a left-footer?

Pothole campaigner sprays Surrey street with phallic paintings

Glenturret Single Malt

Here in Perthshire, the council has responded to the pothole problem by changing the definition of a pothole from minimum 40cm diameter to minimum 60cm.

German lodges todger in 13 steel rings

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Did they first try using a thread?

Reminds me of the old medical joke about the attractive young female sudent carrying out dissection of the male genitalia in anatomy class. After a while, she calls over the demonstrator saying, "I can't find the bone."

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: What a nob!


David Cameron is a nob (and possibly also a knob, but that is a matter of opinion).

More and more Brits are using ad-blockers, says survey

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: How do people use the web without an ad blocker?

I buy the actual paper edition of the Times each Saturday. First job is to run the mechanical adblock filter by going through it, taking out all the advertising supplements and binning them, unlooked at and unloved. Then, when reading the paper itself, my heart leaps with delight when I see a full page ad, knowing that I can ignore that page completely; even more so if it is a double page spread - I can turn over to the next page without even giving it a glance. The advertisers' "expensively created content" serves a good purpose - in the recycling bin - and has had minimal influence on my purchasing intentions.

Humans – 1 Robots – 0: Mercedes deautomates production lines

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I heard a rumor

Nothing so complicated. They were drinking and sleeping on night shifts when they should have been working.

Patch ASAP: Tons of Linux apps can be hijacked by evil DNS servers, man-in-the-middle miscreants

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I'll bet...

If we use double negatives, "I could care less" becomes "I couldn't care more". Doesn't it?

Or we read it as "I COULD care less (but I won't)"

This is why copy'n'paste should be banned from developers' IDEs

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I had a user-written script for a National Instrument's interface box...

The full abbreviation C.U. was presumably used by Glasgow accountancy companies.

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: 'Faulty Router'

@ Anthony Hegedus

That's funny.

I have a collection of BT-supplied routers going back about a dozen years to when I switched to wireless. All of them are still in perfect working order and the only lengthy hiccup I have experienced in that time (2 days out) was tracked down to a problem at the local exchange. The comment sounds like those that I see about Windows 10 - I hate BT because they are BT.

Police Scotland will have direct access to disabled parking badge database

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Safeguards? Pff, what an old-fashioned notion

Exactly. The blue badge goes with the individual not the car. I sometimes feel the same way as you mention when parking my car to go and collect my son from the swimming pool etc.

It's 2016 and idiots still use '123456' as their password

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Nothing wrong with insecure passwords

Horse sauasge would be even more memorable.

Bloke sues dad who shot down his drone – and why it may decide who owns the skies

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: More Drone Hysteria

Is gimble = gimbal?

Brit cuffed for Kyrgyz 'horse penis' sausage quip

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: No big deal

As a Scot, I am trying hard to decide whether that remark was meant as a joke or is simply gratuitously offensive.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: No big deal

Amidst all this talk of grammar, it should be "....WHO takes offence...." not "whom".

Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

Glenturret Single Malt

I suppose

that in the right light and from a suitable angle, his bicycle pump could have looked a bit like an erection. Not sure why he would have it stuffed down his pants, though.

The Infamous Eight: 2015's memes, themes and big pieces

Glenturret Single Malt

Breach not breech.

No, Kim Kardashian's plump posterior's pixels did not break the App Store – just this El Reg man's mind

Glenturret Single Malt


Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

Glenturret Single Malt

Windows for warships?

I thought they were called portholes.

'Powerful blast' at Glasgow City Council data centre prompts IT meltdown

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: If the amount of kit in your data centre changes significantly


3x3x3 = 27 by my reckoning.

Man faces 37 years for sarcastic post insulting royal dog

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Could it be...

Bit difficult to become king as the dog is female.

Windows Phone won't ever succeed, says IDC

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Why do people pay these people

AC is talking about the PC World article, not the Reg article.

German ex-pat jailed for smearing own pat all over Cork apartment

Glenturret Single Malt

ex-pat = ex-patriot (commonly used spelling error for the following);

expat = expatriate (which is what I think is intended here).

Spanish town trumpets 'Clitoris Festival' thanks to Google snafu

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Galician to Spanish?

You jist watch yer lip, Jimmy.

Windows 10 is an antique (and you might be too) says Google man

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Awful

I have frequently used apps (like Kodi) on the taskbar. One click and it is open.

FATTIES have most SUCCESS with opposite SEX! Have some pies and SCORE

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: That is one angle

Just what I was thinking. As I read it, the people surveyed were all in a relationship at the time and no account was taken of any changes since that relationship was formed.

Google literally dangles its new dongle in front of gasping TV audiences

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: hmnn

"The device itself feels a bit heavier in my palm as a result, but it's still just 39.1g or 0.086 lbs. Given the superior antenna, I'm okay with that - it won't weigh down my television mount."

From a review I read online.

Robber loses heist case after 'evil twin' defence, gets 60 years

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Not my idea of fun

Yet another who appears to be misled by the verb "hoist" in the phrase "hoist with one's own petard". A petard is (according to Chambers Dictionary) a case containing explosive used for example for blowing in doors.

Police Scotland fingered for breaching RIPA code 'multiple' times

Glenturret Single Malt

Helmets etc.

Scottish police don't wear helmets like those in the photograph. Isn't that a Gay Pride march anyway?

SAP CEO McDermott loses AN EYE, almost his life in horror plunge

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: One wonders ...

Most of us have an empty plastic container for water by the bedside?

Viper sinks fangs into unwary Indian farmer's todger

Glenturret Single Malt

Caption competition

Is that the same snake last seen reclining on the keyboard of a laptop?

Don't bother buying computers for schools, says OECD report

Glenturret Single Malt

Most of us may indeed use a narrow set of knowledge in our daily activities but everyone has their own different narrow set. When a teacher is confronted with, say, 30 pupils in a class, that teacher has no idea what specific knowledge each pupil is going to need in the future. Most of the pupils will have no idea what they plan to do in later life and part of the work of teachers is to present a range, some of which may attract the interest and enthusiasm of just one individual. The entire class therefore has to be taught a broad range of ideas. I am also sufficiently old-fashioned enough (and retired!) to think that the ability to learn facts is a skill that can be learned and that pupils may actually be assisted by being made to learn something that has little use in future. In my case, French vocabulary.

Ex-HP top aide in the clink for racking up $1m on company credit cards

Glenturret Single Malt

They've got the wrong person!

That's a man behind bars in the photograph.

So unfair! Teachers know what’s happening on students' fondleslabs

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: "Just a thought"

but are actually reading email

Or playing Candy Crush.

Feeling a physical present: Ten summer games and gadgets

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Ten summer Games when summer's 2/3 over?

Why not look on the bright side? If it's winter where you are at present then it won't be long till summer comes.

Apple goes to crapple in stock plunge kerfaffle: $113bn wiped off in days

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Apple goes to crapple in stock plunge kerfaffle: $113bn wiped off in days

The problem for a company in that situation is then to keep on producing the next new fashionable item.

Email apparently from Home Office warns of emails apparently from Home Office

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Aiiee!

All India Industrial Engineering Entrance Exam, surely.

Or, onomatopoiea.

John McAfee: Ashley Madison hack may ‘destabilise society’

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Hyperbole

I don't think the final syllable is pronounced -lee. It is more like -ley or -lay.

The last bit is like the Spanish word ole!

Apple Watch is such a flop it's the world's top-selling wearable

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Who actually wears a watch anymore? And why?

Amorous Cowherder.

You have clearly never been in the centre of Perth (Scotland).

Lawyer brands client 'small penis asshole' before challenging him to a DUEL

Glenturret Single Malt


Why is asshole given in full in the headline but bowdlerised to a**hole in the article?

The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: How does the barrier defend against heavy rains?

The last Goon Show I listened to, they were bringing water from Brazil in brown paper bags.

I'm not sure if the Thames Barrier could act as a defence against such madness.


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