* Posts by Glenturret Single Malt

245 posts • joined 30 Apr 2014


Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Not sure...

My (ancient) keyboard has a non-detachable cable. Would that go in the dishwasher too?1

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: The room doll was removed

That is actually the first time in the many years of my chemical life that I have seen that spelling mistake that way round. Does this mean that computers and their inside bits are now more commonly encountered than furniture polish?

Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Don't believe ANY of it

Re Gene Cash

You state a view that I have often observed myself. I have frequently been shocked/appalled/disappointed by the inaccuracy of detail in newspaper articles about a familiar scientific subject (in my case, chemistry). As a consequence, I now mistrust any articles on other areas of science with which I am less familiar.

What happens when a Royal Navy warship sees a NATO task force headed straight for it? A crash course in Morse

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: After you. No, after you!

When walking towards someone on a pavement just wide enough for two people to pass, my tendency is to pass on the left (must be the Scottish Country Dancing experience). Unfortunately, an awful lot of people seem to have the opposite tendency leading to the "Shall we dance?" moments as described, if not actual collision.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Great article


LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

The Americans have a lot to answer for with span (spun), dove (dived) and fit (fitted) among those I can immediately think of.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

In a similar vein: I was once in a pub where the gents facility was just to one side of the bar.Which led to the scribbled inscription on the wall saying "the beer in this pub is the next thing to piss".

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Glenturret Single Malt

Whoops, difluoride.

Second most common spelling mistake I ever met in school chemistry (after "seperate").

The lead/led confusion (see an earlier post) I find funny.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Alternatively...

This discussion reminds me of the time when, as a final year undergraduate studying chemistry, I set out to read the venerable professor's book on Crystallography. The first paragraph consisted of a sequence of words that I could recognise as English but I had no idea what they meant collectively.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: It's 2018

In older, simpler days, the one question I always used to ask when hiring a car was how to put it into reverse as that was the one thing that seemed to vary from one type to another. More recently, I discovered on a trip to Thailand to see my son that, in his car, the control stalks behind the steering wheel were the exact opposite way round from my car in UK. Much potentially dangerous confusion there until I got used to it and then again on my return home while I readjusted to "normal".

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Incompetance

You've been saying it wrong. It's incompetence.

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Lighting

I am happy to say that in my lifetime of over 70 years, there has never been a Christmas tree in any house where I have lived. Decorations, cards etc but no tree.

'He must be stopped': Missouri candidate's children tell voters he's basically an asshat

Glenturret Single Malt

Steve West post script

Did not get elected. His opponent got about twice as many votes as he did.

Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Milk in Bags?

Many years ago, I recall laughing at the Goons plans to export water to Brazil in brown paper bags.

SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Christian Berger

As also in Cristiano Ronaldo

Zip it! 3 more reasons to be glad you didn't jump on Windows 10 1809

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Regressions

Hey. Hey with the Monkies........? Monkees..........? Monkeys !

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

Glenturret Single Malt

Anyone who has ever taken a bottle of cold liquid out of the fridge at breakfast time will know that the condensation forms when it is brought out into the room and not overnight in the fridge.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Connect!!!!!

I removed Mail with no problem just to see if it worked. I had to use Powershell (Run as Admin).

Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Terrance

My wife's stepfather's parents couldn't agree on what to call him so both registered him separately and he had two birth certificates. Consequently he was Thomas/Tom to some people and Henry to others.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Silly first name.

I have just sent an email this afternoon to my friend Stewart (in Perthshire). I must send a follow up to let him know he has a silly name.

Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: And then billed 3 extra hours?

I know for a fact that I am not the first to put the wrong fuel in the tank soon after changing cars. On this occasion, I realised almost immediately that I was putting petrol in a diesel tank (not as bad as the other way round, thankfully). Since the tank was pretty low, I was able to fill it with about 50 litres of diesel and the subsequent receipt showed I had put in about 450 ml of petrol which turned out to to have no discernable effect on the car's performance which subsequently gave me 150,000 miles of sterling service.

Facebook: Up to 90 million addicts' accounts slurped by hackers, no thanks to crappy code

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: They've had so many cockups, this is not news.

It is my understanding that hooking and handjobs are two different things. Perhaps the handjob could be seen as the free try before you buy?

2-bit punks' weak 40-bit crypto didn't help Tesla keyless fobs one bit

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Problem-solution dichotomy

"the fob was still laying on her drive"

No problem then. There would soon be lots of little foblets hatching out which would grow up into full grown replacement fobs.

Samsung Galaxy Note 9: A steep price to pay

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: The one thing I wholeheartedly agree with Jobs on ...

Stylii, the plural of stylius?

I have posted before about mock-Latin plurals of words that end in -us. The generally correct way of forming the plural is to add es. Thus we get viruses, campuses, grampuses, octopuses, omnibuses (buses), calluses, cactuses (yes!) and styluses. But the plural of opus is opera.

Google Spectre whizz kicked out of Caesars, blocked from DEF CON over hack 'attack' tweet

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Hum

Who not whom.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: It's to be hoped that the conference organizers vote with their dollars...

It adds a new dimension to the football report which said that Manchester City's most effective attacks came through the middle of the Arsenal defence.

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: This is normal in every human endeavor.

The golf club where I play has no external windows in the men's locker room toilet. It also has movement activated lights. So, if you come in after playing on a quiet winter afternoon when it gets dark not long after 4.00 and disappear into a toilet cubicle for too long, you can find yourself caught with your pants down plunged into almost complete blackness.

Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Just to mudddy the waters a trifle ...

As all primary school children learned, three (old) pennies weigh an ounce. A pound's worth of old pennies (240) therefore weighs 80 ounces or 5 pounds (lbs). Which explains why in my first week of Christmas post work in 1963, two of us were sent to collect a basket containing £10 in old pennies.

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Glenturret Single Malt



No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Glenturret Single Malt

What happens when (as often occurs), the people involved in the call make a series of short comments in reply to each other. I would guess that the phone slips out of your hand and down the toilet.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Only cracking I have done is

Making holes in castle walls is also the place where that much misused or misunderstood word, a petard, would be used appropriately.

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Re:beans that are not suitably roasted.

Years ago, when living in Malaysia, my wife occasionally bought fresh coffee beans and roasted them herself. The smell of roasting coffee was fine in the later stages of the process but, during the initial stages of heating, a lot of very unpleasant smelling substances were released. Fortunately, as is common in the tropics, much cooking could be done outside.

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: We need some ...

The squatting position is adopted by those who normally use squatting (rather than sitting) toilets. I ubderstand it is a much more efficient way of defecating. I have gone to sitting toilets in Thailand and other Asian countries and found foot marks on the seat.

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: We need some ...

Unless it has been through you first?

Huawei Honor 10: At £399, plenty of bang for buck – it's a pity about the snaps

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: What did the Roman's ever do for us?

The Roman's. That's Chelsea FC isn't it?

It's World (Terrible) Password (Advice) Day!

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I might be wrong, because I don't know

You can also rotate the words one letter at a time to give variants:





The capitals may or may not indicate the start of words if you don't know how long the words are.

No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I don't 'Binge ' drink.

"I'm a cereal drinker.."

In Marks and Spencer this morning, I saw bottles labelled "Oat Drtink". Looks like just the thing for you.

'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Is you fridge running, Are there any walls in the house at all

I have had exactly the same argument with a representative of a large investment company with whom I have an account after he called me and then wanted me to establish my identity. Neither of us could prove convincingly who we were without revealing important details. In the end, we agreed that he would send me a letter which did indeed arrive.

Autonomous vehicle claims are just a load of hot air… and here's why

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Autopilot fun

Impedimenta means luggage or baggage (originally military). You may have intended to say impediments?

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Validation Vs verification

My PhD thesis contained many mentions of cobalt carbonyl, Co2(CO)8 (don't know how to do subscripts here) and numerous others with combinations of capital C + lower case o and Capital C + capital O. In those far-off days, one hired a typist to do a professional job. Lots of fun was had proofreading the first draft of the typed version.

There are 10 types of people in the world, but there is only one Melvyn

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: If you press litmus paper to Jim Al-Khalili, does it go blue?

Only if the limus paper is damp (and not blue already).

It's Pi day: Care to stuff a brand new Raspberry one in your wallet?

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Dates

Re "meet up": see the article by Oliver Kamm (The Pedant) in the Times of last Saturday (10th March).

Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Mess

Does anyone have a dual band wifi adapter that works with Mint on the 5GHz band?

Britain ignores booze guidelines – heads for the pub

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: I stopped listening...

In which case (presumably too hard to work out), why was the drink advice not given originally in terms of pints per (say) 20 kg of body weight?

Mobile World Congress: 5 buzzwords, an homage to Windows XP and a smartphone snorefest

Glenturret Single Malt

Hooray, the title has homage spelled correctly (one m). Boo, the use of "an homage" signifies that the author has the pretentious pronuciation "omage" or, even worse, "ommaj" in mind.

Apple's top-secret iBoot firmware source code spills onto GitHub for some insane reason

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: "the right to prevent your access to the store"

Apple may be using some kind of restrictive practice but it is not "monopolizing" because you have the option of using other operating systems.

As Facebook pushes yet more fake articles, one news editor tells Mark to get a grip – or Zuck off

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: WTF?

And your pet dog, the Slush Puppy.

Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

Glenturret Single Malt

Not just mail order. I once bought a white shirt in M&S to wear with my dinner suit. When I unwrapped it at home, it was stinking of cigarette smoke.

Dodgy parking firms to be denied access to Brit driver database

Glenturret Single Malt

Re: Petty Speeding

Ah, the Illiterate Apostrophe. Do you mean cameras as the plural of camera?

F-35 'incomparable' to Harrier jump jet, top test pilot tells El Reg

Glenturret Single Malt

I thought the headline meant that the newer aircraft was vastly inferior to the older one.


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