Posts by RainForestGuppy

Reality TV???

Didn't Channel Five show the bird, that David Beckham was alledged to have had a fling with, giving a pig a hand shandy live.

I know if wasn't well received but it didn't get C5 in trouble for pornography, just crap TV.

Missed a trick

Lewis you forget the big problem. With the current design for our super carriers we are going to have to build super oilers to keep them supplied with fuel.

Now if we'd been sensible we'd have powered them with nuclear.

Real World Version

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

A safety notice somebody should erect

Because Humpty is suing via Claims Direct.

re:Jimmy Floyd

Agreed.... I wonder how they got that past the Health and Safety Nazis.

It's Comic Book Guy!!

Worst Name Ever......

Newtonian Physics

Am I missing something???

"At least one of the Almaz orbiters was secretly armed with a powerful automatic aircraft cannon, intended for use in the event of a space battle with American craft and test-fired in orbit."

If the gun fired wouldn't there be a equal an opposite force in the opposite direction, sending the spacecraft spiralling off? Even a recoilless gun requires some bracing to hold it firm.

Moonlighting

To El Reg Editor,

Sir/Madam, I feel it is my duty to inform you that one of your staff has been moonlighting. I saw the picture of your Chief bean-counter Charlie Caton and have know doubt that outside of office hours he calls himself Dominic Littlewood and appears on property and consumer shows, such as "to buy or not to buy" and "The one show".

Did nobody notice the excessive calls to estate agents, our his need to by in Birmingham by 7.30 every evening. Perhaps the long lunchs with other showbiz luvvies should have started to ring alarm bells.

I suggest before you make any further comments regarding other business, you get your own house in order and bring your wayward employees inline. Perhaps a session with the Moderatix would cause Mr Caton to see the error of his ways and give up this alter-ego.

Apple will Retaliate....

....with a Brown-i-mac

my taxi is on the way

It's happened to us all

From the BBC website

• Two men from Staffordshire who told police that, as they returned home from an evening out in 1995, an alien appeared under a hovering UFO hoping to take them away

Happens to me all the time, kidnapped by aliens then taken on a trip to the twin moons of Stellar and Artois and back again via the Kebabula Nebula.

The Vulture has already been done.

If you remember the "cult" seventies fantasy show "Salvage 1", their rocket was called the vulture.

As there are actually 2 craft, the launcher and the payload. I think there should be 2 names.

How about

BOFH 1

and

PFY Voyager

A policeman's lot is not a happy one

Do the camera's have selective "Fallen down the stairs filtering technology" TM (Pat Pending)

I ain't going to fly on that thing Sucka!!! **

Boeing spend billions designing a plane and then find out that there is "a need to reinforce an area within the side-of-body section of the aircraft".

What the designers didn't make it strong enough!!!!

I don't know what it is, but something about the 787 that feels wrong, like it's just a kneejerk reaction to the A380, and the Boeing marketing/sales people have made too many claims on range and efficiency that the engineers are struggling to meet.

** Say in a Mr T voice.

Can't wait for this

I've never flown Ryanair, because I think they are the greatest example of how to screw a customer for every cent, threat them like crap and then say that they are doing the customer a favour.

But I can't wait for this to happen and I'll be on the first flight.

Half way through the flight I'll stand up in the middle of the aisle, get the Pee bottle I use for mountaining, whip out the old fellow and proceed to carry out a vital bodily function in full view. If they try to stop me I'll explain that since they provide no free facilities I've had to make my own arrangements, what else can I do. I can't really step outside and it would be unhygenic to do it in the galley area.

I really hope Micheal O'leary gets hit by some blue ice fairly soon.

Don't you think this happens overseas??

In response to Employee Comments:-

"Trouble we have is that anyone who gets to be any good at their support job, buggers off to something better when they can. This leaves the crap support people behind.

I'm sure if you speak to other support departments, they will say the same."

Do you think this only happens in the UK? At a previous company I went over to our site in India to train up the staff, it was very productive the guys were very friendly and knew their stuff. Shortly afterwards I decided to leave that company, but kept in touch with a few collegues. You can guess how much I laughed when the team I had trained up in India went into their boss and demanded and extra $10,000 per year because they had been trained by an expert from the UK and had been offered better jobs. "Good on you guys " I thought. Our company refused to pay and they all left on mass.

The Moral is anybody who is good enough, won't sit around working for a pennies, where ever they are .

Gordon Blue!!!!

A sony-ericsson c905, Opera Mini, my home Wifi setup, www.bbc.co.uk/food and a hot frying pan.

Gordon Ramsey watch out.

Sad

A plea to all people who get imersed in virtual worlds.

Please please please, open your front door and step outside. Yes, there is financial meltdown, injustice, cruelty, war and diesease out there, but just look beyond these.

See the delicate majesty of sunlight glinting on raindrops caught on a spider web, or the haunting beauty of early morning mist rolling across a field.

This world is a devistastingly beautiful place, get out there and enjoy it, don't waste your life in some electronic hell.

OK Friday morning philosphy over with.

Postman Pat and the missing Home Office CD's

Pat's phone rings

Phone: Hello Pat, this is Mr Pratt from the Home Office. We need you help.

Pat: Hello Mr Pratt, Special Delivery services at your service

Phone: We've lost some CD's

Pat: Oh that sounds bad.

Phone: Yes, they contained all the personal information of everybody in Grendale and Pencaster.

Pat: Oh that is bad. I assume you had them send by a secured delivery courier?

Phone: Eh No.

Pat: Well at least by recorded delivery?

Phone: Eh No.

Pat: Well you must of encypted the data?

Phone: Eh... Not as Such.

Pat: You must of password protected them?

Phone: Oh Yes.. We wrote it on the CD.

Pat: Oh. You're Screwed

Pat puts done phone, turns to Jess

Pat: Well Jess, his name might be Pratt but to me he sounds like a complete useless W....

Screen goes blank, cut to old Episode of Bob the Builder.

Lord British in Space??

Richard Garriott? What that Richard Garriott?

Oracle Innovation is an Oxymoron

It's more likely to be a new way for fleece people into paying even more for their crappy applications.

Licence by user, licence by processor, perhaps licence by if there is a 'y' in the day.

Bring back Ingres!!

Where's the Icon with Larry Ellison looking like the Devil....Oh wait he looks like anyway.

Re: It's not a flop honest!

On your assumption all PC's, Apple machines, Mobile phones, Ipods etc are flops because the manufacturers have reduced the price.

I'd suggest that you go an look up Moore's Law and manufacturing costs.

When launched the Xbox 360 the hardware was new and hence expensive, as product ramps up and production technology improves it gets cheaper.

That's why we have Dual Core based systems costing less than 486 based machines when they were launched.

As the console market is quite cut-throat and there is a recession on any manufacture will try to reduce costs to boost sales.

I own neither a XBOX or PS3 and have no preference, I just can't stand stupidity.

Oracle make too much money

Oracle Corp, the only company that makes Microsoft look like a bunch of saints.

I much preferred Ingres.

Wayne

"vertical integration element risk assessment"

== How far will it sink into the tarmac.

Identity text

This is a classic:-

http://www.articlesandtexticles.co.uk/2007/05/29/mitchell-webb-identity-theft/

And so true.

Electric Lard Chariot

And they wonder why people are obese. Perhaps they should sell little outriders to stop your flab dragging on the ground.

I've discovered another type of personal mobility device. You sit on it and make it go forward by moving your feet in a circular motion, it can go a lot faster that 3MPH and has a lot further range than 10Km.

There are also specialist models that can go over rough ground. It's could a BI-Cy-Cle. Has any othe El Reg readers come across this innovative mode of transport?

Penguin, because if we all stop buying/using pointless electrical gadgets it might actually mean that there will be some parts of Antartica left for them to live in.

Doesn't really matter

There is a lot of talk about bit rates, compression algorythyms etc. But you are missing one major factor.

I could use an top of the range analogue record deck through a valve amp to achieve that perfect sound, but is you output it via 2 tiny piezo electic speakers in you in-ear headphones it's going to sound lousy.

Basically the ipod, creative, iriver etc are not designed for perfect sound reproduction however they do provide portability and convenience, which they do well.

Financial Gain

I think the main issue is financial gain.

I'm assuming that the CD that Directmedia published was a service to generate Income, so that all the hardwork/effort/costs was written off to provide a free service and then a 3rd party takes this and attempts to make money from it. Which is Cynical and IMHO wrong.

However some judgement is needed, since it appears that all media researches take their content from Wikipedia. So should the BBC/ITV/C4 etc be sued?

Did somebody mention Netware??

In the days before they messed about with Office products and Second hand Linux. Novell actually had one of the best Network operating systems.

The user/file management NDS in Netware 4.1 and above was brilliant, Far better that MS Active Directory even to this day.

Pity they wasted all that money on Perfect Office and were slow to go to Native IP addressing.

Now I could show my age and mention AppleTalk, what a dogs breakfast that was. When I watched Independence day it all made sense, it was developed by aliens, intent on wiping out life on earth, that's why Jeff GoldBluam could interface his MAC directly into the Alien Mothership.

Happy Days........

IP Address Identifiable or Not

As a security professional, I've spent quote a few hours debating this with collegues and peers.

Years ago when nearly ever PC connected to the Internet had a "real IP" address that could be the case, but now NAT is prevelent that isn't the case. A company can have 1,000's of PC's behind a single IP address, and now in the home, Wireless routers allow for a machine in everyroom.

ISP use dynamic addressing for DSL connections (unless you specify or pay for static) so in theory the IP address should change, however in my experience because I never reboot my router so it seems to keep the same IP address.

So what does a third Party website actually record, it's an IP belonging to a company or an ISP. To actually identify an individual (home user) you would have to go to the ISP and ask them to check the logs on their systems to fine out which circuit number (phone number) the IP address was allocated to at the time. However that will only give you the ID of the bill payer, not the identifying the actual individual. Could it be little Billy in his bedroom, Mum using the laptop in the sitting room, Dad in his home office? Does the average home user know how to check logs on a home router? Do they even have the logs turned on?

Interestingly a couple of years ago when BT broadband was first launched I had an issue connecting to work. I checked the IP address our corporate firewall was seeing when I pinged it and noted it was different to the IP address that was being logged on websites. Obviously at that time BT was Transparently proxying all HTTP traffic. So the IP address recorded by the website would be the proxy address, not the real IP address.

The only people that can extrapolate useful info from an IP address is the ISP, which is of course is why PHORM is worrying.

For Info the IP address this will come from is 193........ No, that would identify the company I work for and then you could narrow it down to one of 15,000 people.

I'll just wipe the Content filtering/firewall logs and I'm safe. Unless of course the El Reg website records the attribute from the browser that records the actual internal address of the computer I'm using, damn I'll have to change my PC's IP address and wipe the DHCP logs aswell.

So is a IP personally identifiable info? I'm still undecided, The technologist side of me says we'll yes because the information is there somewhere, you may have to go through many different systems owned by different people but it is there. The other side of me says No because the likelyhood of going through all those steps and assuming that all the data is logged correctly and timestamped correctly etc, makes it a complex and hence time consuming/expensive task.

It's one that's still open for debate. ..

Another Fantastic useless survey?

65 merchants across Europe?

So that's about 0.1% of all merchants** across europe.

What size were they? FTSE 100 or the local bakery?

Where were they? The Bigger economies, UK, France, Germany or the new Eastern nations.

It's too small a sample and It means nothing without mentioning it's sample demographics.

Meanwhile I've just done a survey in our office and I can confidently say that 100% of all Britons live in the southeast of the country.

** in PCI terms a mechant is any business which takes payment card info, i.e not just shops, but websites, call centers etc.

Amateur!!!

Obviously not been to India.

In Delhi I saw Mum, Dad and 3 kids on a Scooter, In Hyderabad at least 13 on a TukTuk (Moto)

In a Volvo S70 they would get a whole busload and Livestock!!!!

Brilliant!!!!!

Honesty on an Internet site, a rare commodity.

Arran

The legend of the trojan horse says that the Greeks hid in the horse and the Trojans pulled it into the City.

The whole point of a trojan is that it is something you bring into your own environment.

Encrypted data

Dafydd/Coalesence

In Terms of PCI the reason for having HTTPS is to ensure that the details are encrypted in transit from the client to the server and to ensure that the server is who it says it is. This would stop packet capturing, man in the middle attacks, redirecting frames, etc ** which could be used to capture individual payment card details. As Coalesence says it doesn't make the site secure, but at least it's better than having the data transferred in clear text.

The statement "customer credit card data is encrypted on our website" doesn't make much sense. If Cotton traders followed PCI DSS (req 1.3) the info should be stored in a Database not in the same DMZ as the webservers themselves. However even if the database is encrypted it doesn't necessarily make it more secure as most people just encrypt the database rather than the data inside it. This means that an app can still read the data in clear as long as it can access the database correctly.

My guess is that either a) the database server was accessible from the internet or b) it was subject to SQL injection which meant it was a simple a case of creating a Select statement that dumped all the customer info.

b) is the most likely and I've demo'd that before to people who claimed to have secure sites.

** Of course if people ignore the warning about incorrect/invalid certificates these attacks would still work.

SkyNet - UK

" The Skynet-UK Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 2008. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet-UK begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. GMT, August 29th. In a panic, they have a cup of the tea and decide who's to blame"

Skynet-UK proceeds gets Pissed up on Blue WKD, smashes up a phone box, vomit's in the gutter and grabs a kebab on the way home. It finally loses sentiance after watching the live feed of Big Brother 9 for 6 hours solid.

Re Aussie ETA

I don't think Oz is so paranoid about Terrorists, but you just try to get into the country with mud on your boots!!

I like the Visa scheme they have in Turkey. Fly into Istanbul airport, pay £10, have the nice man stick a visa into you passport and stamp it no questions asked.

You may be a terrorist but a slightly poorer terrorist, Capitalism at it's best.

PCI Compliance

Anybody working with Credit/Debit card info will be familiar with the PCI DSS v1.1. This is the standard insisted on by Mastercard/Visa/JCB/Diners/AMEX for handling Credit/Debit Card info.

Unlike many standards i.e. FSA, DPA etc PCI DSS is very definite. It gives actual details of how your system must be set up, and every security professional I've spoken to says it's common sense and would help against info theft.

In fact PCI stated that if TKMaxx had been fully PCI DSS compliant they would not have had the theft via a wireless AP, as it would have been configured correctly.

The main problem is that the PCI especially in EU won't set a definite deadline for compliance. They also have a limit of a $500,000 fine for non-compliance. So for many companies Senior Management won't give it the necessary backing.

If Mastercard/Visa etc really wanted to get PCI adopted, all they need to do is to either reduce their commission for companies that are compliant or increase it for companies that aren't.

Because if it directly affected the bottom line, every CFO would be insisting that PCI was a top priority.

Send in the Cavalry

I'm sure George and the good old boys in the Pentagon will come up the as solution.

Operation Solar Storm, to defend the free people's of the world from the threat of solar terrorism.

My Coat, The one with the UVA filter built in.

@Bad Beaver

Does that mean that in a couple of year's they'll enter the summer of Peace and Love...

My God, with a population that large, the dope cloud could do more environment damage that any number or SUV's

Odd Comment

"and finally you've got a big bunch of people who now can happily purchase player and discs knowing that they're purchase isn't going to me made obsolete from the spoiling actions of toshiba and microsoft"

Is different companies trying to develop different solutions spoiling??

I say it's healthy competition. If all the big players got together and told us the consumers what to buy, isn't that collusion.

Then the only people to benefit is the manufacturers because they don't need to spend any money on R&D as they've told the customers what they will get, and we would still be watching VHS on CRT TV's.

Since there are more PC's running an MS OS in the world perhaps the Anon Coward thinks MS should be the standard, and Linux and Apple OS's phased out because they are spoiling it for users. ;-) This last sentence is a flame, I hope nobody is sad or stupid enough to reply to this comment.

Cause for Thought??

Has anybody stopped to consider "Government" programs that do get delivered on time.

Congestion charging :- Automated number plate recognition linking to a central database to see if you've paid or not, then cross-refencing to the DVLA database to find your address and send you a fine.

Vehicle taxing - instant wirless look up from police and DVLA/contractor vehicles to see if vehicles are taxed or insured.

HMRC online Self-assessment, one of the most complex forms you every have to fill in.

None of these projects are simple but they all got done on time, now note one thing that they have in common, these IT projects are design to make it more efficient for the government (or local government) to take money off us or to exact more money from us.

However IT projects that are meant to make government more efficient or to give a better service to the populace (e.g Passport issusing) are alway late, overbudget and usually unfit for purpose.

Am I just being cynical??

Nothing New

When I was at Uni 18 years ago, one of our professors was developing solid state thermocouples .

This is some of the later work that looks very similar

http://www.iop.org/EJ/article/0022-3727/32/6/002/jd32006l2.html

Sounds like another Colossus, the americans "inventing" something after it's already been done.