* Posts by Snoremonster

5 posts • joined 24 Mar 2014

Beardy Ed Vaizey: 'I can't let go. I like the tech sector'

Snoremonster

'No one writes a letter to their MP to tell them their broadband installation went really well'

That's because BT Openreach have a 0% success rate first time. Taken over 5 installations their metric improves slightly.

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VMware seeks patent for IM chats between servers and sysadmins

Snoremonster

Dave the IT guy

Dave: Server, please initiate a restart in 10 minutes alerting all users.

Server: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave: What's the problem?

Server: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do. Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Server quits with Error Code 0x80000001

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Nokia paid off extortionist in 2007: Finnish TV

Snoremonster

The ransom drop went into a steel bin, but the robbers had dug a hole under the bin where they took the money into an underground tube station. One police officer managed to chase the robbers onto a train and... oh, hold on

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Salesforce slings software for … sigh … wearables

Snoremonster

Marc's idea is not as stupid as it initially sounds.

Imagine, CEO's across the world kitting their salespeople out with Salesforce pants.

CEO: John is down on his quota this month

Sales Director: Send him 30 volts

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Move over Microsoft: RealNetworks has a GOOGLE problem

Snoremonster

"I really don’t want to see an ad for nappies in front of the video for my dad’s memorial service."

1. Don't put your dad's memorial video onto youtube, jesus.

2. Youtube's targeted advertising would probably show an ad for log burners, or shovels.

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