* Posts by Cynicalmark

79 posts • joined 20 Mar 2014


Fork it! Google fined €4.34bn over Android, has 90 days to behave


Re: what about Apple?

Apple allows you to use any search engine you want. In addition you can use Opera, Firefox etc as there are apps for them. Google allows very little freedom for the consumer. Ffs Apple even allows removal of the bloatware so they are not breaking the law in this case.

Just another basher of Apple eh? Ffs comment on the article rather than using it to ecosystem bash. None of them (Linix, M$, Apple etc) are perfect- if they were we would all be happy with one brand. Google just loves to bully and lock out small business and stamps on startups with brilliant ideas - why? - They used to be the little guy and know how easy it is to fall no matter how big you are.

No excuses for the sleaze that Google is to behave to the detriment of the consumer so hence the fine. No doubt they will have many lawyers looking for an angle. They wont find the angle as the EU is already pissed off with the UK so US insane logic will just piss them off more.

Kaspersky Lab loses the privilege of giving Twitter ad money



Didn’t Kaspersky refuse to put backdoor into the product for the US Government-or something along those lines? Maybe Lobbyists for Norton Twattyvirus persuaded a few Senators with incentives etc...

The point is the good old US of A is finally showing that it is what we all knew anyway, a bloody mess of legalese and greed. Twatter is a platform of censorship and control, created as a safety app for concerned parents and now hijacked as is everything by the morons full of vacuous shit.

I will be sticking to Kaspersky - it’s always been easy to use and I couldn’t give a toss what some brainless tit from a Disney gov’t thinks. Christ alive, guilty until proved innocent is not Democracy, the last time that happened a guy with a bad hairdo and a moustache in a socialist party caused a global war........oh ffs, I’m off to buy a lot of canned goods.

Who had ICANN suing a German registrar over GDPR and Whois? Congrats, it's happening


Delaying tactics

File a case involving GDPR and subsequently remove eyes from the real issue that the muppets in ICANN make breathing room to sort out the mess in their own backyard (presumably destroying evidence). It’s a classic tactic used in US court but doesn’t work in Europe all that well.

I’m quite sure this may result in a splinter of control and someone sulking in the corner muttering that they no longer want to play and its their ball. If they win - well give it a few years and some bright spark will come up with a better system to communicate and shaft them royally.

Time for our American cousins to grow up a little. There is always a bigger fish.

Shining lasers at planes in the UK could now get you up to 5 years in jail


UK copper chopper

According to those chaps they have equipment that locks on to any laser using their cameras and pinpoints not only the address but also notes the fingerprint of the laser pointer. Apparently they have successfully used this in prior prosecutions. One of the chaps in Coventry was writing some software for this over a decade ago and gave me a sneak peek.

Hacking train Wi-Fi may expose passenger data and control systems


Load of .....

What a crock of shite kneejerk article. Train safety and aircraft systems are not that vulnerable.

Fyi. To stop a train just pull the fucking red handle bullshit billy.

US techies: We want to see Pentagon's defence of winner-takes-all cloud contract


Oh ffs

For the amount they could spend a Pentagon owned and run system would be the solution-I mean come on chaps, you own the keys to every bloody patent office over there and could copy any technology easily then wrap it up as Top Secret and deny everything.

What moron thinks a third party shitstem is secure? They didn’t even try to build any sort of compartmentalisation into it / multi environ fallover systems. These are just plain idiots who go all glassy eyed when someone says ‘cloud’. Ahhh fer feck sake. Grrrrrrr.

I have repressed anger towards cloudy environs.

UK Parliament roars: Oi! Zuck! Get in here for a grilling – or you'll get a Tower of London tour


Re: Why all the sham theatre?

Yes - we have 4 bankers; 2 media owners and a poor chap who exported some batteries all within the last few years. You can have your tumbleweed back.........its messing up my garden.

Windrush immigration papers scandal is a big fat GDPR fail for UK.gov



No matter which govt, the political machine grinding away in an ineffective inefficient incompetent way as usual is the vacuous entity of Whitehall. Yes they stay the same and pat each other on the back for leaks here and there with the odd MBE etc.

We have an over bloated loathsome ruling elite. It is the bureaucrat and not the politician.

The politician is the PR guy, the pen pusher is the one with real power.

God how I hate them all. I’m off to have some tranquillisers before I kick my telly in again grrrrrrrr

Who will fix our Internal Banking Mess? TSB hires IBM amid online banking woes


I can imagine.....

Maybe something along these lines?

Director - we need to transfer these accounts to our new system

IT - what new system?

Director- oh this new wonderful package we just bought. We had a meeting about it.

IT - Nope. We didn’t have a meeting.

Director- oh we did, you weren’t there but the nice sales chap told us you would say yes so we signed for it.

IT - ffs. OK, we will have to learn about this and transfer say a thousand dummy accounts in and out of it and test all aspects....

Director- ahem no. We have been told by the board that it must happen this way on Friday....

IT - ffs when? We will lose data potentially, and well fuck it - I quit.

Director- fine I will use Colin the Intern - he reckons he was better than you anyway and knows this outsourcing type jobbie who can help him.

IT - Good luck you prat

1 week later

Director - Colin what is wrong? You said you could do it..

Colin - ......door swinging.....tumbleweed rolls across empty IT dept.

Director- did we pay him any money? No? Oh bugger. Hello IBM? Do you know how to do this?

IBM - please wait caller, we are asking on global forums for answers as all our best and brightest were told they were not required a while back. While you are on the line could you tell us if we have answered the question to your satisfaction.....?

Director - Fabulous, yes, i see you know what you’re doing. I’ll break the good news to the board.

Something like that maybe?

Total incompetence comes to mind. It seems obvious that zero test data transfer runs were carried out, the fools just thought lets just transfer the lot in one go.

Just total effing incompetence, I mean clusterfucking moronic twattery of the highest level.

Apple's QWERTY gets dirty leaving fanbois shirty


Fit for purpose

If you own one of these and are in the UK, you can invoke the ‘fit for purpose’ rule of the law.

If you purchase something and through normal use - say typing regularly on a laptop keyboard and the keyboard stops working through no fault of the user (i.e. you didn’t play football with it; spill drink or drop food into it or use it for purpose other than what it was made for)

Any sane person expects a keyboard to last more than a couple of years. I have one 6 odd years old and it still works fine.

My old Dell laptop is older and they keyboard works fine too. It’s what anybody would expect.

Look into it before forking out a few hundred quid to those money grabbing appleholes.

ISO blocks NSA's latest IoT encryption systems amid murky tales of backdoors and bullying


Serves them right...

The ‘nonsuchagency’ got that which they deserved. Unfortunately both USA and Russia have blotted their copybook trying to run roughshod over us, the great unwashed engineer.

Trust as said before is earned and not gained in schoolyard namecalling - maybe the upcoming Ivy League leavers will learn a lesson from this. When you are told no by the experts, no amount of temper tantrums or threats will faze any professional who knows their tomatoes. I.e. we couldn’t give one shit you are NSA, CIA or FBI - your power outside your borders is limited so up yours you bunch of bullying turds.

Good on you to all those who told them where to get off.

It's US Tax Day, so of course the IRS's servers have taken a swan dive



What usually happens in government these days

Big idea by management to ‘streamline operations using synergies in blue sky outside the box bollocks’

Get your IT guys to write a wishlist

Delete half of the wishlist not realising the list is co-depending and needs all components to work

Don’t tell IT guys anything so management get the glory for this if it goes right

Get approval

Get money

Find overpriced contractor who knows very little

Dont tell IT you have done this (very important)

Review plan from contractor (don’t ask IT as it makes you look stupid)

Approve plan in a restaurant on paid for vacation (business trip)

Contractor installs half of the equipment

Inspect (finally ask IT to do it as you can’t even work your laptop) & realise equipment is dated and doesn’t fulfill the functionality you need

Call contractor

Find out contractor had gone bust (run off with money to Caribbean)

Blame IT guys to your bosses for this as it was their list for the system (after you have retired them with a keep your mouth shut golden handshake)

Retire on a final salary pension

Government dept. Press release says ‘work stopped on upgrade as new directions are needed for system’ (public sigh as more funding pissed up the wall by clueless Politicians who still think a screwdriver costs $3000)

Dont stress too much - the world will still be turning long after we are dust.

'Well intentioned lawmakers could stifle IoT innovation', warns bug bounty pioneer


Uhhhh heffalump in the room.

Who on earth wants a connected kettle? Before you spout how wonderful it is to be able to remote operate it wonder why average Joe would want to...get off your arse and go switch it on. It is a 2 kilowatts plus device and requires supervision during use just like an iron. Grrr this IoT garbage is just.......rant rant rant.

Yes I have Hue and SmartThings and Tridium (Know how vulnerable they can be if not managed correctly) but the garbage from vendors that requires your Amazon password or your Hue password to work in their own iFTTT shite app? Mind you, most users probably have unpatched routers at home arrrggggh all pointless. Why bother.

Uber hid database hack from FTC while FTC probed Uber for an earlier database hack



Uber.......because millenials don’t give a crap for anyone else

Well neither do Uber yet they all lecture you like a vegan that this is the company to use for a cab....arrgghhhh!!!!!!!

Apple leak: If you leak from Apple, we'll have you arrested, says Apple


I wonder...

Did they take a copy of this memo out on iPaper? Maybe they printed it on an iPrinter, or wrote it out with an iPencil.

I do believe they sent an iWarning to all iDrones. No wonder the poor fools are trying to kill themselves by running into iGlass doors

Exposed: Lazy Android mobe makers couldn't care less about security


Telco handsets on installment deals

This has been a problem since smartphones came into existence. Manufacturers sell phones via networks and they in turn re-tweak the OS to a ‘branded experience’ which removes updates as well. They bugger up a phone and lock out swaths of settings/security options and really want the phone to last the contract term if you’re lucky but on their terms.

Mind you if they lock it from using certain app stores then maybe they are saving the users from more grief (from what I’ve seen the ‘droid stores are a mine field of uncertainty)

Whois is dead as Europe hands DNS overlord ICANN its arse


Smirk mode

Serves the greedy buggers right.

GDPR is good and will potentially cripple any company playing fast and loose with EU citizens private data. It will also be enshrined in law in the UK following our exit from the EU. Fines, warnings or removal of right to process data-lovely.

I do wonder how quickly the EU will smack them up. It would be hilarious to see the excuses over the coming weeks.

Final rant: Who gives a crap? IICANN is a typical corporate dinosaur. I wouldn’t lose sleep if I were you - there is always a way round the possibility of them going down. Night night

Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email


Oh dear...

100% of the population has breasts. Just look down - you have nipples. Essentially men have breast tissue as well as women.

I love seeing Tits in my garden. They feed on nuts and sing every morning. The picture had breasts of a fuller nature on display and should not be sent on a mailing list due to the possibility of a minor seeing such a mail and asking awkward questions or causing offence.

The filth merchants and misogynistic muppets love provoking a response so really chaps and ladies, do stop biting the bait.

'Our way or the highway' warranty scams shot down by US watchdog: It's OK to use unofficial parts to repair your gear


Goods in the UK &EULA

The EULA is irrelevant since it is not incorporated into the sales contract before purchase, and even if it were it could not exclude rights under the Sale of Goods Act.

An EULA cannot form a second contract on installation of the software or commissioning of any sort (as the maufacturers claim it does) because their consideration is past, i.e. you have already paid to use it, so clicking 'I accept' is a "bare promise".

We don’t have to give a toss about the reams of garbage lawyers cook up to confuse everybody. Someone in Parliament had a moment of sanity a few years back.

I can, with confidence put the shittiest screen and battery pack replacement in my phone, watch it melt when plugged in to my third party charger that emits sparks every few seconds and feel smug that I was a totally tight moron when selecting parts based on price rather than quality:)

Facebook exec extracts foot from mouth: We didn't really mean growth matters more than human life


What a mess

It has shown that FB has a large number of either execs who value profit over doing what is right or they are just idiots without a clue. I think imho it is the former with a smattering of the latter.

As for active hunt for fake profiles -hands up thousands of peeps who have agonisingly had to go through their piss poor report procedure. My sister in law had two fakers use her pics, the profiles claimed she was an Apple sales exec living in Dubai selling ..... wait for it ......Used Samsung phones. Ffs only a moron would think the profile was honest.

She reported it and FB said she was the faker and these profiles were genuine(they then blocked her profile and let the fakers stay)- yup what a shower of @55hol5.

Many fake sales profiles may be generating profits for criminal reasons & FB took 6 months and a passport to prove she was the real person. They are biased for revenue and nothing more.

Made me delete my old profile.

Tesla crash investigation causes dip in 'leccycar firm's share price


It doesn’t matter.......

Whatever you engineer however impressive in itself, there will always be an incident involving some errors either with the method of use/response of automation or the unintended use/ intervention of the idiot using it.

Writing software responses for real world situations is very difficult as assumed responses do not translate well into code. This may well be the result of conflict internally in the system due to the unusual junction off ramp. However, the other options are still on the table about road users and avoidance protection- it may be he was pushed off route. We will only know once the investigation is complete.

No defence of TESLA but read some of the instructions that come with your purchases. The warnings do make you wonder how stupid some people really are.......

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, off you go: Snout of UK space forcibly removed from EU satellite trough


Ahem Elephant in the room

I don’t think the Govt gives a toss. We have the Whitehall announcement of space launch and exploration programme from the UK -makes me wonder why it is being forced through quickly....has Mr Musk or messrs Bezos been poking around over here to avoid red tape of Congress? It really does make me think something’s coming and it will be quite interesting.

As for the EU and Brexit -it is always speculation until the event is confirmed complete I refuse to be stirred up by the big wooden press spoon of hate.

Love not War is best.

No, Samsung, you really do owe Apple $120m for patent infringement


Rounded corners

When I saw the Ford cars in the 90s with rounded corners I immediately thought “ my poo comes out rounded on the corners “

Lets see Apple and Samsung sue some poo. Or Ford come to think of it.


Re: Who invented what?

Wasn’t it Eastman Kodak that actually developed OLED.? Samsung merely re-boxes technology like most giants these days, swallowing up companies in Apple-esqe style........

Indian call centre scammers are targeting BT customers



Not many may think this, but back in the day when flat caps and clogs were normal attire, data was sold by the company serving. Customer data is money. They don’t care who they sell to as long as they make ca$h. O.k. It could be data centre employees, or simply poor security of Customer data i.e. some spam head has bought their photos in on a usb stick to show Carley and Treyvon who sits next to them.....ooo look at the puppy pics I have just loaded along with a nasty worm from that freeware site who prints photos for ‘free’ mwahahahahahaha.....data sucked live from the system.....

Education is lacking and common sense moreso. Crikey the airheads these days walk into street furniture because they cannot get off social media so don’t expect this load of cannon fodder to safeguard your data anytime soon......

Stop us if you've heard this one: Apple's password protection in macOS can be thwarted



I think they are called ‘features’ in @pple, not bugs.

Either way they cannot be expected to test everything can they? I mean if they did and it was flawless then nobody would have anything to write about, or complain about....the world would get very dull.

Seriously aside you test, then someone else tests, then another test on top to test the tests -then a beta release to software ‘animals’ who are challenged to break it. Rewrite to close loop holes or vulns and repeat....rinse and dry then oh ffs I just cannot be serious. Whatever humans make, other humans can reverse engineer and break.

I love Apple and also MS, Linux and older systems and their flawed OS....the more features the better - gives me (&you) a job to do- and staves off the inevitable senility...


Ever since SJ went, in my opinion the quality and feel of Apple went further south. This and prior ‘features’ of last year just show how Corporate micromanaging is wrecking Apple.

I am sure we have all been there -you have a reasonable deadline and some asshole in a tie with a sociology degree decides your deadline is moved forward a week because they made a yes man promise to the big guy, so he can impress the investors. So a week less testing and voila! You miss something. This gets spotted and the asshole comes back saying you should worship him as he saved your ass because it’s all your fault so fix it quick - you have a day and then pestering begins each hour like a kid in the backseat of a car.....are we there yet?

Rinse &repeat

US computer-science classes churn out cut-n-paste slackers – and yes, that's a bad thing


In the future when the machines code goes wrong.....

Any of you chaps thinking we will be begged on hands and knees in the retirement homes our sh1tty kids will have farmed us out to for us to come and fix it for the muppet generation of accountants and end users? ‘Our AI has gone wrong and is screwing our cities up....boo hoo’

Yep I would love to look up from my pee soaked high back chair to go tell em to all to suck my floppy disk. Hehehehehe. Seriously I need to get out more.

Oh and @Mark 85 the relays were but its like 48 odd years ago and memory is fading faster than an ssd.......


Re: Bah!

“In part three I talked about how to make and not break a heredoc stream. My supervisor and all the consultants made fun of me saying they couldn't understand the memo.”

Yup - I retired recently from a company that hired based on degree standards rather than actual working knowledge - they didn’t understand a jot of what I was trying to instruct them on embedded device creation, management and repair. -ffs what the hell are they teaching these days?.. It certainly isn’t from the ground up as they don’t even try to know the engineering side of tech -it seems to be a ‘get a subcontractor to sort it’ culture- almost like managers rather than hands on engineers. Sad really.

Not that I give a shit anymore (says the engineer who really does) my retirement is taken up learning even more so I can charge a fortune for services that are going to be like rocking horse poo in the near future.



Most dont have a clue about the basics, hardware and stack structure. Computer Science in my day was soldering iron led with multimeters and oscilloscopes, then logic; software i.e. Assembler was the final topic.

Apple iOS 11.3 adds health records for battery, people too



He may have been unhinged or way out there but good ol ‘Steve’ will be spinning in his mausoleum at the piss poor management of the battery debacle. He wouldn’t have allowed it to get to this -what p1ll@ck put a battery in that couldn’t meet the demand? It seems @pple has started to move toward the M$ model and concern itself more about the shareholder rather than the product.

Jobs had a vision of form and functional grace. Products that dont need a manual, just intuition to use. And so they were.....now they have a confused array of features and pricing that puts consumers off.

I will stick with Apple for phone and tablet purely out of good product support(most of the time) & faith that we will get a true revolution of technology again soon. I was tempted by others but support for their products seems to die quickly - a bit like iphone batteries. Anyhow I have run out of memory again. I wish we had a technology for adding more -oh yeah @pple you tw@ts its called a micro SD and we would’ve paid to have that rather than a dancing f…ng emoji for a face or even the remotely p155y AR games or the Notch arrghhhhhhhhh

I really must get my blood pressure checked. Ommmmmmmmmmm

Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'


Dumb down the masses

Although brilliant for average non technical clueless sheeple, this is a serious attempt to dumb down the population again. The 90’s was a time of education changes so subtle yet effective in producing the increasingly moronic parents of today with no common sense or practical ability.

Conspiracy theory? Maybe.

Before dismissal, maybe look at history-the S mode is subtle in its way of locking the majority of non technical into an easily controllable environment. Think about it -China did and successfully brainwashed the masses to blindly and yet passionately follow the state &it only took a decade.

See you in ten years and see how it works out for the average citizen. Maybe then you will panic, but too late.

Information is power. Controls on delivery of content is mass power.

Ex-TalkTalk chief grilled by MPs on suitability to chair NHS Improvement



Why is it some incompetent tit who couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery gets into senior positions of influence? I have seen this over my career time and time again and wondered why.....it’s not politics and nor is it nepotism. I think they are just voluntary sacrifices for any cockup that occurs. They are willing to take the fall for the ca$h and benefits.

Wait for the next NHS hack and this flesh buffer will be placed between the public and the head honcho.

Mozilla and Yahoo! trade sueballs over Firefox-Google search deal


Re: RE: Adam

I think Yahoo failed a long time ago -it not only sunk itself without trying, it formed a coral reef of despair for its remaining employees based on dinosaur management techniques.

Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation


What was he doing? Probably saying “look at this fellow genius” while shorting the battery out.

Not bright

Not genius

They should be called Apple Muppets.

I’m off to take my pills the nice white coated lady gave me.

Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?



Waits for the Mac haters and lazy IT bods to foam at the mouth. Hehehehehehe. Gets wooden spoon and stirs more

IBM invents printer that checks for copyrights



Another reason to go paperless?

Watch it again: SpaceX's boomerang rocket lands on robo-sea-barge



Funny how using as many off the shelf components exhibits reliability. I wouldn't want to be the NASA over engineers right now. Well done to a hard working common sense bunch of people who have done what was said to be impossible by the no-sayers of the Cape.

Romania suffers Eurovision premature ejection



Another Euro 'success'. How the hell did they discover the way to leave? Its like the Readers Digest - once you're in you'll never leave is what we all thought.

Much respect

Ten years in the clink, file-sharing monsters! (If UK govt gets its way)

Thumb Up

Re: Good to know the US doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity

Upvote on 'B' Ark for daft politicians

Comcast repeatedly crams modem upgrade demands into browsers


Injecting their own info?

How much info have they been modifying? This is tantamount to information control of the basest order.

How long before the highest bidder gets what they want thrown in to every web page downloaded?

You will obey in the USA

No, Kim Kardashian's plump posterior's pixels did not break the App Store – just this El Reg man's mind


Putrid verbal garbage

Just about the only thing that ever comes from the direction of Kardashian territory

UK ISP Sky to make smut an opt-in service from 2016


Yet again...

When they did this the first time I lost not only my mail, but also my vpn connection to remote server - I work from home on embedded systems and this silly filter is a total sCuntHorpe up the mAss filtering. When i got it removed the last time they kept repeating on the phone 'so you want to remove the adult content filter' - judgemental aholes.

Oi politicians ! Any 13 year old can get past the security of this muppetry which just slows the connection and hides with false positives what we may need to see - bits and bytes not boobies please!!!!!!!!!!

Panicked teen hanged himself after receiving ransomware scam email


Impotent plods

When they want tax payments they always are able to track the money across the globe. Come on Mr. plod - use what brains you have and recruit hackers to find these scumbags. I think you would be surprised how many will rise to the task to bring these unscrupulous aholes to book

Hilton, Marriott and co want permission to JAM guests' personal Wi-Fi


De auth

Went to America.....twice and still cannot get over how primitive the place is technologically....

Space Commanders lock missiles on Elite's Frontier Devs


Why are they moaning?

ffs I backed it and am glad it came to fruition. It gives us what the original couldn't in so many ways. So what if there are teething troubles. Stop whining and appreciate the physics and fantastic views of probably the best sim for a long time of the space genre.

BlackBerry CEO Chen says to expect profits ... in 2016



back in the real world.......

If at first you don't succeed ... Fire, FIRE again: Amazon mulls smartphone sequel



Expandable Memory Slot

E Ink screen

Be unique and don't follow the crowd



Another worthless bit of useless meaningless info

seeing that in the UK we are all chip & pin and bonk pay why didn't Apple test it here? The USA has the most ancient payment systems and crap security next to Nigeria - It is akin to testing condoms in Vatican city. All it proves is Apple need to look before they leap.

A nation of CODERS? Yes, says UK.gov, and have some cash to do it


Oh what a load of....

Contribute twice as much yet get paid half that of some moron with a degree in Social Sciences busy testing employee metrics - yup thats the norm in this fair isle. I worked for a mutinational and advised them that coding and engineering outsourced to the Far East wouldn't give them a product with appeal - they ignored me and ended up with a lemon twice the expense and half the capabilities of their competitors - I left in disgust. Don't waste your time with the employment structure over here - get out before you're stuck here


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