* Posts by PNGuinn

1362 posts • joined 18 Mar 2014

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Our Sun's been using facial scrub: No spots for two weeks

PNGuinn
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Re: Just a reminder, everyone!

Nooo - I'd NEVER be so irresponsible to recommend that.

Any fule kno that all solar energy receptors should be shielded with at least 1 foot thick lead cover.

What really bothers me is what thickness of tinfoil hat do I need to be safe out there?

Take care on the beach, now.

>> thanks, mine's the one with the 5l drum of factor 95 sunscreen in the pocketses.

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Grab 'em by the pussy! Trump's lawyers 'send cease-and-desist letters' to a KITTEN website

PNGuinn
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Joke

Re: Fake news? Use your brain, people.

You said it. Fake News.

"Elvis flying around in a UFO" my a&se.

Any fule kno that Elvis flies around on a frikkin flying shark with frikkin lasers on.

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FYI anyone who codes outside work: GitHub has a contract to stop bosses snatching it all

PNGuinn
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This could come back to bite 'em

So, I develop a thingie in my spare time. My work comes to the attention of $Greedy Megacorp, to whom I prostitute myself to for some 35 - 40 hours a week.

Pointy headed boss at $GMcp demands that I hand over my work.

Do I

a Comply, give him the relevant files, assuming he will read them closely enough to find that the whole kaboodle is already released under the GPL?

b Remind him that all this work was done out of normal work hours, so the company now owes me $$overtime, including weekend rates, and they are getting squat all until they pay?

c. Meekly comply and hand over the code, knowing that it's little more than alpha at that stage and hasn't been properly checked yet, making the reasonable assumption that said pointy headed boss has the skill set to either do so or ensure it is done. And wait for the s**t to hit the fan?

>>Any which way, If they are going to be such barstewards, I'm likely to want one of these fairly quickly.

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PNGuinn
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"The scope of one such clause in an NZ company's ..."

Sounds good to me.

Spend the weekend taking some really interesting photos.

No, not necessarily that sort, But just make sure they're legal.

On monday, because the IP belongs to the Company, post them on the Company's internet facing servers, copyright $Megacorp, and wait ...

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Google Spanner in the NewSQL works?

PNGuinn
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Joke

Re: Relational DBs never went away.

REAL coders would do it with EMACS.

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Info Commish marks own homework, says it didn't break law over Prince Charles request

PNGuinn
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Childcatcher

" ... even when the naughty organ happens to be the ICO itself."

If you're suggesting that the ICO was out of tune with itself, all well and good.

IF not, please dispatch 1 large crate of mind bleach to Zondek towers immediately.

"The ICO later clarified that it had properly searched itself"

Ooh-er. On second thoughts, make that 2 crates.

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Now UK bans carry-on lappies, phones, slabs on flights from six nations amid bomb fears

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Re: Checked in luggage

"You're only supposed to blow the bloody hold off!"

Of course a plane in that state will always be fully air worthy, Yes siree!

As usual there's something we're not being told. I suggest either

a. Usual security theatre by idiots who wouldn't know a real threat if they fell over it and set it off in the process (of course it's possible to set a threat off, prollytitions do it all the time, don't be stupid.)

b. Think of something nasty other than spontaneous violent combustion that these larger toys could possibly be made capable of. Did anyone tell us that the threat was that the devices in question might EXPLODE?

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Shine on, you crazy Eind minds: Boffins fire out 43Gbps infrared 'Wi-Fi'

PNGuinn
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Holmes

And how long is this new idea supposed to last?

Cat videos at lightspeed - check

Pr0n at lightspeed - check

UHD pr0n at lightspeed - check

UHD 3d pr0n at lightspeed - check

Multiple simultaneous streams of holographically enhanced super UHD 4d cat pr0n at lightspeed - checking - er - er - ....

... Welcome to our new 802.11x. enhanced xray wifi overloards.

Hey, only 2 letters left. Time to develop a new standard. Anyone know the speed of a pigeon in a vacuum?

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Norfolk County Council sent filing cabinet filled with kids' info to a second-hand shop

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Unimaginable had someone been fallen asleep in there...

Nah - by then they'd be fully dehydrated and all smell dissipated. Light as a fevver, m'lud.

Probably still drawing their salery / pension though. Although they might have been missed at their office retirement bash ...

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PNGuinn
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Disposal of filing cabinets

""Steve Eckersley, ICO Head of Enforcement, said: “The council had disposed of some furniture as part of an office move but had failed to ensure that the cabinets were empty before disposal.""

Everywhere I've ever worked filing cabinets were like hens teeth. I'll bet the first thing the department did after their move was ...

Followed a few weeks months later by ... " has anyone seen the files on little Alice, Joan, Harry ....? (NB fictitious names.)

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PNGuinn
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Trollface

All that's missing is a sign saying : "Beware of the leopard"...

No, that's now in a second hand shop in Lowestoft where they sent it in error ....

NFN.

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Beijing deploys facial scanners to counter public toilet abuse

PNGuinn
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Stop

Re: _"squeaky clean even if you have a asscrack like a sasquatch."

Mindbleach. NOW

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PNGuinn
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Black Helicopters

IZAL

Wonderful waterproof splash guard over the water in the pan, though. Just don't put in more than 2 squares,

Can you still get it?

>>for our Aussie readers. Beware of 'ol redback!

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Hell freezes over: We wrote an El Reg chatbot using Microsoft's AI

PNGuinn
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Facepalm

Re: So relatively easy to set up basic functionality

"> But a right b**ger to anything more complex out of it?

Not an uncommon experience with new MS products.

Then they gradually sink under the ever growing amount of cruft that gets heaped on them.

Then they mature."

Like manure.

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PNGuinn
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Trollface

Re: If you're truly brave...

AH! so Eadon was simply the Vulture's first attempt at Tay!

I claim my five pounds.

NOW the real question. Now you have the production version - what's its name andmay we play with it?

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

PNGuinn
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Pint

Re: New technical terms. @TRT

Utter Bollocks.

Have one of these!

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Microsoft kills Windows Vista on April 11: No security patches, no hot fixes, no support, nada

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re: ME Hated? What have I forgotten? @AMBxx

Windows 98.

>> for slurp, not you.

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Spammy Google Home spouts audio ads without warning – now throw yours in the trash

PNGuinn
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Childcatcher

Re: A company

Hmmm ...

What would you get if you crossed Google with Amazon?

Seriously.

They are beginning to tread on each other's turf already.

Uugh.

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NASA finds India's missing lunar orbiter with Earth-bound radar

PNGuinn
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Flame

@ Zmodem

Don't forget, you'll need some megagausshour Lithium Ion batteries to power those magnets!

May the repelling force be with you ....

>> For the batteries

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UK to block Kodi pirates in real-time: Saturday kick-off

PNGuinn
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Trollface

Re: I discern a few more things from this.

"1. Football is definitely a business, not a sport."

Correct. And it makes far too much money. Proof? Those ridiculous transfer fees.

Answer? Tax it into oblivion. Should make it possible to fund social care AND abolish self employed NI to boot. Sorry, feets.

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Headphone batteries flame out mid-flight, ignite new Li-Ion fears

PNGuinn
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Re: Recall? @Andy The Hat

Which is why all my battery power tools power tools still use Nicads, not Lion. I certainly DON'T want Lion in a device which is likely to get a lot of knocks and drops, do you?

OK, I'll also use Nimh, but I've discovered the Nicads last longer, and for most purposes the capacity is adequate.

BTW, memory effect is not a problem for me - topping up partly discharged Nicads has never been a n issue - the cells get completely flattened in use often enough to prevent it.

Problem is getting replacement batteries at a decent price - it's usually cheaper to buy a new tool and 3 batteries with charger for less than a couple of replacement cells. And most power tools these days seem to be Lion.

I'll probably have to investigate re-celling some old batteries.

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More Brits' IDs stolen than ever before

PNGuinn
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Joke

Nope, I'm Richard IV and so's my wife.

Yeah, and your son's name is Bran ...

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BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

PNGuinn
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Windows

Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Okay, you have successfully lost your manhood.

There - fify.

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PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re: "...picked up radiation doses that make them a very dangerous meal."

It would probably do all the Japanese a favour if someone could persuade them that their scheming greenie poilticos were dangerously radioactive...

Tell them the proof is that they all glow black against a black background in pitch black darkness should do it ...

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

PNGuinn
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Coat

No, Deluxe Paint.

No, Dulux paint.

FIFU

Thanks, it's the one with the sugar soap and white spirit in the pockets.

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PNGuinn
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Joke

l33t user

Hardcore?

REAL l33t users use EMACS.

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Iconic Land Rover Defender may make a comeback by 2019

PNGuinn
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Holmes

Re: Needling me? @ Alan Brown

"I spent many years working for an outfit where the job required spending lots of time IN (and driving to the top of) New Zealand's many mountains."

Do you have a white cat?

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UK Home Office spy powers unit pretended it was a private citizen in Ofcom consultation

PNGuinn
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Megaphone

Re: Trust

Oh c'mon - nobody could describe the current Tory lot as right wing. It just shows how far to the extreme left most of uk politics has moved.

Just listen to Corbin's baltherings and try to parse them. And those of his acolytes.

Remember that the Tories have had a "far left" of their own since at least the 1950's. The risk of an internal civil war with an election approaching when Supermac woke up one day and found he couldn't pee (prostate problem), thought he was more seriously ill than it turned out and resigned as leader led directly to the choice of the compromise candidate Alec Douglas Hume - and let that idiot Wilson into power.

One wrecked economy later, in desperation the sheeple voted Tory and put Fred Teeth in - and he was another of the wets and took us into yurrup.

Totally lost his bottle after calling a "who governs Britain" election over a miners' strike and put labour back. Another wrecked economy. Believe me - I spent almost every evening out on the streets that cold february. And until the last couple of days or so of the campaign the Tories were romping home with a landslide. Until the great leader showed his green underbelly. The electorate voted him out.

It took Thatcher to bring some leadership to the party and win a decent majority. Her biggest error was to fail to deal with the Heseltinies and their ilk before the splits and divisions they caused destroyed her.

Ultimately they gave us fascist Blair, Prudence the innumerate, and another economic disaster we haven't yet fully recovered from.

With no clear leadership the Tories floundered like a barrel of dead fish. In the end, when Labour ought to have been reduced to less than 50 seats the best the Tories could do was a coalition with the liberals.

And here we are now. Theresa - I KNOW WHAT BLOODY BREXIT MEANS - I VOTED FOR IT. I'd dearly like to know what YOU think it means. Woman - I DON'T TRUST YOU. Please prove me wrong.

Cue the downvotes ...

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If we must have an IoT bog roll holder, can we at least make it secure?

PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: Just A Thought

"At least if your security gets compromised and you panic, you're fully equipped to deal with the fallout."

Only if your kharzy is equipped with an internet connected fan ...

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PNGuinn
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Re: "maybe even IoT could be eventually useful?"

@ Ledswinger.

"... toilet roll makers are preparing a smear campaign ..."

Comment of the week, I'd say. Upvoted.

BTW, how DID you get the name Ledswinger? EMNTK etc.

Thanks, it's the one with the bulk centre pull roll in the pockets ...

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Euro Patent Office puts itself on Interpol's level, demands access to staff phones and laptops

PNGuinn
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Joke

Battistelli crazy is the new batshit crazy

If this daft dictator really thinks he has diplomatic immunity the answer's simple. Threaten to break off diplomatic relations and expel everyone from his offices.

If that doesn't work - declare war.

If the threat of war doesn't bring him to his senses, threaten to give his job to CRAPITA - and in true Trump style make him pay for it.

Maybe the only thing that will really shift him is deliberate official mockery. Or phenolphthalein in his tea.

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PNGuinn
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Headmaster

Re: Benoit - The new Italian Dictator

They bury the bodies with berries?

What kind of berries? Yew? African American? Raspberry? (....mmmm .... raspberry pie ...)

EMNTN etc etc

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BONG! Lasers crack Big Ben frequency riddle BONG! No idea what to do with this info BONG!

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Re badgers and rhinososasososheges

We need some el Reg units of time, and we need them ... er ....

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Li-ion king Goodenough creates battery he says really is... good enough

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

The pea sized lump of fizzing sodium wasn't all consumed by that point.

Aww, c'mon.

Potassium's much more fun. The flame's prettier too ...

We need a purple flame icon. Moytle.

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Japan's Venus probe power plight panacea: Turn it off and on again ...and again and again...

PNGuinn
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Trollface

five years after it was due to get there ...

Well, all I can say is that's a good thing it wasn't made by Southern Rail ...

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Intel's dying Atom chips strike again: Netgear recalls four ReadyNAS, Wi-Fi management lines

PNGuinn
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Joke

Re: Inquiring mind would like to know...

"How soon should an Atom processor fail?"

"How often should an Atom processor fail?"

FIFY

Answer: 1.0432 times.

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Smart meter firm EDMI asked UK for £7m to change a single component

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re: ...nope ... @JamesPond

So - If they really get that nasty, lets see the B****y thing work reliably in a Faraday cage.

The earthed tin foil is absolutely necessary for my right to enjoy a normal secure family life, m'lud.

That should do it.

Can I charge them several squillion for the development costs?

KerChing.

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Fireball in Tasmania: Possible CubeSat re-entry sparks alien panic

PNGuinn
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OK - explain this

Many years ago (a little over 40?) I was cycling home one night about midnight from, if I remember rightly, a Mayor's Charity Function.

I was stone cold sober - I don't drink. The road (and the entire area) was well lit in low pressure orange sodium light.

Getting on for a mile to the north was a block of flats in the middle of a small low rise council housing estate, farmland behind that.

Above and I think possibly behind the block of flats, some way above it, I saw a neon red evenly illuminated circular disk, falling slowly.

There was no sound. The disk could have been spherical, but all I could see was a disk. At the time I guessed that, if it was as far away as the flats it would be some 30 - 40 feet in diameter. At the time I got the impression that it was further away. It certainly wasn't nearer. As I approached northwards (remember I was getting on for a mile away) I had a clear view. I watched for getting on for a minute or so and then deliberately looked down for a good few seconds. (was I seeing things?) When I looked up again the thing was still there, it appeared to be on the same trajectory. It suddenly disappeared, and reappeared a couple of seconds later as two smaller circular disks / spheres, still on the same trajectory. A few seconds later both disappeared, just as suddenly, and did not reappear. They had not fallen behind any obstruction. That was it.

My original impression was of spheres, but when I thought about what I had seen I realised that that was assumption - 2d object(s) just seemed implausible.

Now I mention the lp sodium street lighting because these things were clearly a neon red, so it could not have been reflected light. The illumination was very even.

My route took me to the left out of sight of scene, to traffic lights over the A12. I backtracked to a road skirting the farmland on the far side of the flats and estate. All calm, horses in field calm etc. Went home to bed and sleep.

I was not that tired, was cycling, so wide awake. I am not prone to seeing things. My first thought was some kind of balloon, but why so evenly illuminated, and how could a balloon disappear and then reappear as 2 balloons?

Weather was good.

No other reports in the news etc. But it was late.

I've never forgotten the event and I'd dearly like to know what I saw. I'm not a "UFO freak".

Anyone any ideas?

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PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: Swamp Gas!

"There were recent supply problems."

In Tasmania, with all them opium poppies?

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This ferry is said to weigh 250 cows. We say that is actually 20,600 Lindisfarne Gospels

PNGuinn
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Pirate

@ Mark 85

So, are you suggesting that this is the IOW's new Aircraft Carrier? Has the Council detailed it's compliment of aircraft and when it is due to get them?

Mark, you may be getting dangerously close to endangering the island's National Security.

Careless Talk etc etc.

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PNGuinn
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Go

Fixed at both ends

Consider a chain ferry where the chains, hopefully connected to each shore, float.

Could this be considered as a special case of pontoon bridge?

Enquiring minds etc ......

For simplicity, in your answer you may ignore all considerations as to whether the ferry or chains are frictionless or spherical ...

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Uber: Please don't give our London drivers English tests. You can work out the reason why

PNGuinn
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Trollface

Re: @Prst. V.Jeltz

In Blighty these days GCSE "English" is a joke.

Make 'em do the Australian test. Followed by an Aussie to English Conversion Course. And test.

At Uber's expense.

Then ban 'em from the Earls Court area.

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Germany, France lobby hard for terror-busting encryption backdoors – Europe seems to agree

PNGuinn
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Childcatcher

Re: Fascism is on the rise...

"Of course the Stasi need to invade your privacy for the benefit of the state.

Thats what Totalitarian regimes do."

In other news ... Here in Blighty some "security" dweeb has been blathering on about the increased dangers of a terrorist attack.

Why was my first reaction "Security theatre again ... I wonder which of my few remaining freedoms does Teresa Mayhem want to steal now?

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PNGuinn
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Devil

Re: Just look at where and what the two ministers studied....

Might I humbly suggest a geometrically simpler model they might be better able to understand?

Consider a piece of rough hewn timber with 3 holes bored in it, split down the middle, and securely mounted horizontally to a post a few feet off the ground.

The horizontal split timber is mounted hinged at one end, with a secure clasp at the other with the holes also horizontal.

Polly's scrawny neck goes into larger centre hole, arms through outer two.

Clamp 'em shut, lock 'er up and chuck the key down the nearest cess pit.

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PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Politics is a pear

Politics may be considered as a pear. The "moderate" parties are all clustered around the wide base of the pear and up its sides. Political gravity tends to drag them all down to the bottom of the pear. (In more ways than one.)

Much time is wasted as doctorates are forged attempting to define the centre of gravity of the bottom of the pit that is at bottom of the pear.

More sincereish parties try to clamber over the sludge at the bottom / bottom feeders to present a different option. Covered with the slime of the moral compromise below they attempt to cling to various bits of the side of the pear, These reinventors of the political wheel are usually described as "fascist" by the self serving bottom feeding scum and the equally self serving media leaches, many of which totally lost all their integrity writing political theses before sliding down nose first into the trough at the bottom

Close together owards the ever narrowing top of the pear you find the real extremists. They, at least, have rejected all ideas of democracy, although many have used it as a means to get to where they now cling. They tend to divide into two essentially almost identical groups, but will claim to be totally different, and hate each other almost absolutely. Pathologically antisocial, they often have the words "democratic" and "socialist" in their names.

OK, invent a better model of political reality.

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BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

PNGuinn
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Go

Re: Right Royal Softly, Softly, ...... Catchee GCHQ and Assorted Monkeys ....

Think of him as a new form of super secure CAPTCHA.

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PNGuinn
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Go

Re: Best Line @ac

So, you put your best foot forward, trod on a blowfly and discovered you'd just put your foot in it?

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Sysadmin's sole client was his wife – and she queried his bill

PNGuinn
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Re: Use a metaphor @W4YBO

So, in that scheme of things, what would you describe a BSOD as?

An attack of the s*its?

El Reg - we need an eye of a needle icon ...

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Finally proof that Apple copies Samsung: iPhone 7 Plus halts, catches fire like a Galaxy Note 7

PNGuinn
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Pint

Next Invite

Oh, well, there go Vulture Central's next 3 invites to an apple gig ....

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PNGuinn
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Go

Re: Mechanical damage

What a good idea!

Might finally determine the true speed of a sheeple in a vacuum.

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