* Posts by PNGuinn

1415 posts • joined 18 Mar 2014

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China launches aircraft carrier the length of 2.1 brontosaurs

PNGuinn
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Headmaster

Shurely the length should measured in double-decker buses?

Shirly not.

Maritime use rules please. Oak smoked kippers.

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Super-secure Pi-stuffed nomx email server box given a good probing

PNGuinn
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Holmes

BS detector red linning.

MY bullshit detector's got a SILVER lining.

MY bullshit detector's more SHINY than your bullshit detector.

MY bullshit detector's MORE SECURE than your bullshit detector ...

NO, you can't play with MY bullshit detector. I don't want your sticky dabs on it's shiny ...

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PNGuinn
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Joke

Any buzzwords I missed?

Unicorn Bumfluf?

Pureed Leprechaun livers?

Systemd?

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Intel redesigns flawed Atom CPUs to stave off premature chip death

PNGuinn
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FAIL

So what exactly have they done inside and what will be the consequences?

Has anyone any idea what exactly have Intel done here? It sounds like a horrible frig.

It sure looks like some kind of cheapest / least effort fix. I wonder what the time / cost implications were to doing it properly?

Which raises the question "What's the expected time to failure now, Intel?"

And, assuming the brute isn't soldered in, "May I have my replacement chip now, please?"

In reality, I presume in almost all cases it will be, so it will be down to the device manufacturers.

So its not likely to be "We'd like n new chips, please." Rather "ARRRAGH - you barstewards - you've borked the pinouts. We'll need n new boards as well"

I suspect Intel'll have to cut some *very* good deals to keep their customers sweet, let alone keep 'em at all long term.

Diddums.

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Don't install our buggy Windows 10 Creators Update, begs Microsoft

PNGuinn
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Happy

Re: How do you abort the update? @ Updraft102

"Microsoft has blessed"

Oh, look - a new meaning for the word bless ....

You really do learn something precious every day.

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Lyrebird steals your voice to make you say things you didn't – and we hate this future

PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: And some banks are starting to use

The Inland Revenue are trialling voice recognition as an "additional" security.

I put it off last time by making the most 'orrible distressed animal noises. Computer probably thought I was from the north east or Luvverpule and eventually gave up.

"Any bank offering this will become very quickly my ex-bank !!!"

Can I make the IR my ex IR?

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PC sales are up across Europe. You read that right. PC sales are up

PNGuinn
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There you go - @ anthonyhegedus

--- corbynista ---

May I have a small prize?

>> I presume you'll need yours.

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systemd-free Devuan Linux hits version 1.0.0

PNGuinn
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Unhappy

Why do you _NOT WANT SYSTEMD_ out of interest?

"It's an elegant system" ...

"Elegant" is not a description I'd use personally.

"Cancerous octopus" springs to mind.

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PNGuinn
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Thumb Up

Y'know I STILL hope Devuan withers and dies, the sooner the better ... But the prospect of the Debian project eating some crow and seeing sense seems further away than ever.

So great work guys - I grabbed the relevant downloads last night just before I saw this this morning.

My production box is running Old Stable - so I'll need to upgrade shortly _AND I DON'T WANT SYSTEMD_ so I'll have a serious play with this.

Hopefully, unless things change elsewhere, this project will gain momentum and become the hub of a new distribution ecosytstem (like the way Mint sits/sat on Umbongo which sits on Debian). With so much of the heavy lifting to get this far done the nest release will hopefully follow on next Debian a bit more quickly and the team will be able to take a long look at a few other issues they're bothered about. Including everything pottering is trying to suck into systemd.

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Shooting org demands answers from Met Police over gun owner blab

PNGuinn
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Black Helicopters

... promoting the products of a private company?

That depends very much what kind of "private" company.

If it was your or my company - (hopefully) oohh no sorry can't do - security, data protection, abuse of a public office etc.

If, hypothetically, it was a "private" company owned / run by one of their mates / ex colleagues then (hopefully not) "Sure thing, Harry, I'll get the list copied off for you right away. Buy us a drink down the Lodge tonight, eh? Drop you the pendrive then ok?

But we all know that the Met are whiter than white, so impossible. Move along, nothing to see here.

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Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Re: Good on Jim Re dog

Are you sure it was the dog?

After all the guy admitted getting home pissed ......

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Farewell Unity, you challenged desktop Linux. Oh well, here's Ubuntu 17.04

PNGuinn
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Coat

Re: My thoughts on this ...

"Xubuntu (XFCE) is also pretty good. I wonder why they don't make that the standard desktop."

Common bloody sense that's why.

> Thanks - its the one hanging over the zimmer frame.

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Cuffing Assange a 'priority' for the USA says attorney-general

PNGuinn
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Go

Just don't tag the expense as a duck house..

I wonder what a creative type could put a long holiday in <ahem> fact finding tour of the Ecuadorian Embassy as?

Ker -Ching!

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PNGuinn
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Facepalm

Official Secrets Act

"Signing" the OFA is utterly meanlingless.

You get a dirty dogeared card shoved in front of you with one tiny verselet of the act.

You're asked to read it, in front of some human resorces dweeb, and sign a bit of paper to say that you've done so.

You never get to see the bloody act, let alone get given a copy. You're none the wiser.

Anyways, we're ALL bound by the act, regardless of whether we've read or signed it.

Just security theatre.

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PNGuinn
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Flame

Re: Is an Australian even allowed to run for Parliament?

"Also he'd have trouble doing any of the usual duties an MP"

Since when has that stopped any of 'em in the past??

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PNGuinn
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Boffin

Re: Ah, yes, I nearly forgot about him

What's all this guff about press outfits being neutral?

Either you or me are living in some sort of infinitely improbable universe.

What's the probability of one of us finding out who's the lucky bastard?

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Accept for a second that robot surgeons exist. Who will check they're up to the job – and how?

PNGuinn
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Trollface

00. No Labotomy

6. Full Labotomy

FIFY.

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Ambient light sensors can steal data, says security researcher

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

I think you may all have missed the point ...

W3C mulling over whether websites should be able to access the light sensor? Why?

Well if a website can access the sensor, they can presumably get access to the brightness controls ...

ADZ AT NEWCKLEAR BRIGHTNESS LEVELZ??

No, the wouldn't would they?

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Mastercard launches card that replaces PIN with fingerprint sensor

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Right, first off ...

The fingerprint is stored on the card ....

Really - NO WAY Mastercard. You can stick that one sideways where the sun don't shine for a start. and then insert your finger to operate the reader.

How easy will it be to clone a few dozen of these cards, with modified fingerprints?

As an additional relatively low security ADDITION to chip and pin, with some kind of stored hash, possibly.

But before you go any further, let me have a card WITHOUT WIRELESS you morons.

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Can you make a warzone delivery drone? UK.gov wants to give you cash

PNGuinn
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Holmes

Obligatory

Hey, Sarge - what's that drone just brought us?

Three and fourpence and a couple of dance tickets lad.

D'oh.

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PNGuinn
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Joke

Re: When you think about it, isn't there a lot of obvious work to be done here?

@ Martin Milan

Where's the Samsung fridge and the toaster come into this then? I mean, someone's got to discuss the requirements ...

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Oh snap! UK Prime Minister Theresa May calls June election

PNGuinn
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FAIL

I guess that's alright then?

No.

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PNGuinn
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Megaphone

Sorry to p&ss on your parade, but the economic crisis was the work of Bair and his sidekick Brown, both vying with each other to micro control the crash.

It was obvious to anyone with any sense that the "economics" being followed was unsustainable. In the end I suspect even Prudence knew the game was up and was just desperately trying to wangle his filthy hands onto another 5 years of power. What he planned to do if he managed it I couldn't say. But he never did have much foresight.

Look at your history and you'll see that whenever Liebour get in the economy goes pfht down the crapper.

Yes, I'm bitter - I've spent all my working life with the red albatross and its effects round my neck.

If you want to know what the Corbinistas have to offer us just look at Venezuela. I'm told they've just hit 1000 percent inflation.

I've often wondered what would happen if voting was public at the hustings once more - Vote Labour - when it all goes pear shaped YOU pay. No, I'm not serious about public voting - the info would be to useful to lizards in power - of any colour - but we need to consider our responsibilities when we vote. There are no free lunches. Is it morally right to put in a bunch of nutters whose ideas have been shown time and again all over the world to be an utter failure and expect a magic bailout from those who new better?

Q the downvotes.

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NASA agent faces heat for 'degrading' moon rock sting during which grandmother wet herself

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re: Why does the US care if people own bits of the Moon?

"Because they don't want the sample ending up in the hands of someone who'll test it and find out they got it off the beach at Skegness and the whole moon thing is a fake..."

Knicked off the beach at Skeggy??

Shirly that's a crime??

Perhaps Skeggy council should send a few of its nicer summer visitors over to NASA to give 'em a right ... er, talking to.

>> if they've got any teeth left afterwards, that is.

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PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: iMoon

Nope. Prior art.

So sue the ar*e off google for showing ar*e on street view ...

Popcorn!

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Boffins fabricate the 'most complex bendy microprocessor yet'

PNGuinn
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Pirate

Re: Molybendium

I'm sure we Brits could agree to misspell some other random element in exchange if the Merkins would agree to molybendium!

Sulfur indeed - coloUr me disgusted!

Perhaps the elReg standards soviet could negotiate the deal? For Blighty, natch.

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Half-baked security: Hackers can hijack your smart Aga oven 'with a text message'

PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: Presumably there's no way to fix this other than a recall...

Just pull the bloody SIM. Job done.

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PNGuinn
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Coat

Re: AGA do

AGA Can't.

Well, somebody had to.

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Parcel bods Hermes become latest London drone delivery droogs

PNGuinn
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FAIL

Re: Seriously? Cameras?

Mmmm --- One wonders at the kind of selfies (and wet robots) the company will get in some parts of London, especially if they extend this to after - pub delivery hours?

Methinks I'd rather NOT have my parcels delivered this way! 'Specially not food.

Technical question: Given the height of that thing, what is its swift manoeuvring capability v that of the average eyeballglued smartphone luser? Just asking. For a friend.

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Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

PNGuinn
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Trollface

Computers hidden in the ceiling void ...

So, difficult to access.

3 guesses what os they were not using ....

I wonder where they hid the keyboard and mouse? OUCH.

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T-Mobile US CEO offers kid a year's supply of chicken nuggets for switching from AT&T

PNGuinn
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Trollface

Obligatory

"The web address was registered by what appears to be an Australian private citizen – and there's nothing wrong with that"

Sure thing, Bruce, Nothing wrong with that. No Poofters!

El Reg - we need a hat with corks icon, sport.

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PNGuinn
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Coat

Re: Short Term Strategy

Stleoyc.

Does that accurately describe the effect of scoffing a year's supply of ...?

Thanks, it's the one with the extremely greasy pocketses.

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Broadband providers almost double prices after deals end

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re 3 week nightmare

"Or you can have the new provider installed before switching off the old one..."

Yeah, right.

When Skive took over BE they swapped me over to their network. And borked the router in the process. Their "Customer Service" were best described an the Emperor's new Underpants. Absolutely no technical understanding whatsoever. At least they sent me a new router by return. Ugly bloody great thing but at least I was back online. My rock solid 6 megs doubled with Skive ... but soon it was taking longer and longer to resolve websites.

I could have fiddled but ... Tough luck twats, 2 strikes and all that.

Jumped ship to Pussnet. Took a package with the phone included (that bit was just a smidgeon cheaper than Big Thief - go figure).

Changeover date agreed - check.

Might be without BB for an hour or so - check.

Paranoid me topped up a GiffGaff sim with 3 Gb for a month for the 3g dongle just in case.

Skive pulled the plug a week or so before changeover day. INCOMPETENT EVIL BASTARDS.

I NEEDED BROADBAND FOR WORK THAT WEEK YOU TWATS!

Did I call you incompetent evil bastards? I was being FAR too generous! Go rot.

Glad to be rid of the *(*&&$%%s.

The new service from Pussnet, for over a year so far, has been excellent. Mind you, the price increase after the "introductory year" was astronomical. How would the CAB put a free for the first year offer into their figures? Infinite price hike? (Btw it's still WAY below what Skive were skimming me.)

May the cloud eat the mushrooms skiving in the cloud >>

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Toshiba conglomerate: Can we keep going? We don't know

PNGuinn
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Trollface

“The company also said ... considering an initial public offering for smart meter group Landis+Gyr"

Smart meter group, eh? Ooh - now THAT looks like a good investment for someone ...

No thanks, Tosh - I'd rather look at that old bridge you're selling ...

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Boeing-backed US upstart reckons it'll be building electric airliners

PNGuinn
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Mushroom

Re: Just a matter of timing

"So, ya wanna fly on THAT plane? Heh heh heh."

Personally I'd rather sit in a confined space in front of / on top of / behind a wacking great nuclear power plant than a B****y great pile of unstable lithium batteries ....

Come back Hindenberg = all is forgiven.

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Printer blown to bits by compressed air

PNGuinn
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Re: I did this - and I got away with it

Anyone old enough to remember the old Tektronix valved scopes?

the ones that ate half a kilowatt or more, and were much prized when the heating failed?

Wacking great fan at the back?

We used to blow them out with a 90 psi airline. Just do it outside in the car park and stand upwind of the dustcloud.

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PNGuinn
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Facepalm

Re: Dangerous

I agree, but as with all compressed air jobs, use with care.

A good mantra is "You know electricity can be dangerous, right? Compressed air more so."

I do use workshop air for cleaning appropriate electronic equipment, carefully.

I've always been cautious, especially with fans. Just what kind of an emf / spike can be generated by a fan being spun at a gazillion rpm? There's bound to be some residual magnetism in there somewhere, even for an induction motor. And, if there's no moisture in the air, What about static?

Anyway, I want the dust OUT not compressed into a corner somewhere.

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PNGuinn
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Facepalm

Re: Back in the day ...

Most freons in ultrasonic baths are pretty kind to most plastics.

What they are not kind to, however, is the gunk that should NOT be removed , like switch lubricants, and delicate labelling of panels ....

Which does tend to upset the shop floor when they discover the damage done to the next production run by the contaminated bath ...

Oh - and don't ultrasonically clean anything with a vacuum device in it - like nixie tubes.

Oh well - showing my age again.

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Aviation regulator flies in face of UK.gov ban, says electronics should be stowed in cabin. Duh

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Re: re: I'm confused now,

Vasoline

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PNGuinn
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Flame

Re: Please discharge battery before entering the aircraft.

Use't 6 inch nail 'an hammer hanging on't string on't hook in't shittus.

It'll be quite safe 't bring 't onboard then.

Oop yers,

Our Dad.

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Lenovo's 2017 X1 Carbon is a mixed bag

PNGuinn
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Coat

... but there is no adaptor to fit a full-sized SD card into a microSD slot.

Er - Have you tried a large hammer?

Thanks - mine's the one with the Kango in the pocket. Aka sd card extractor.

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Honor phone for paupers goes upmarket, assails flagships

PNGuinn
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Facepalm

Re: pronunciation?

Who are we?

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Android beats Windows as most popular OS for interwebz – by 0.02%

PNGuinn
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Holmes

It's been coming a long time

It's been here for far longer than you think. The desktop's just about the last wall to start to crumble.

I suspect that overall on the computing scene even Beastie is giving MS bad dreams.

Note to self: If I ever get some time when I finally retire, get to know a bit more about the BSDs.

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PNGuinn
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Big Brother

"Google is currently working on their own kernel to replace Linux in Android. Should they ever manage to pull that off all the apps written for the Android SDK will still run on the new OS, even without Linux underneath."

So in a nutshell, Torvalds and team out, Big G in.

Why does a cold shudder go down my spine?

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PNGuinn
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Linux

Re: Well it's just counting people who do not block junk @Updraft102

" GNU/Linux only reaches about 2% on desktops... that's a lot of novices!"

I don't think you intended to imply that most Linux users are novices, but anyway I suspect that most penguinistas are not, and I equally suspect that most of 'em use blockers. As will the "novices" we've moved over from other oses. 'Cos we will have installed blockers for them as a matter of course, for our own peace if for nothing else.

I've often wondered what the real Linux desktop penetration is.

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PNGuinn
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Joke

Visual Studio

Shirley Visual Studio's just an overpriced replacement for MS Paint. Innit?

REAL coders do it in Oils. On canvas.

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Mediaeval Yorkshirefolk mutilated, burned t'dead to prevent reanimation

PNGuinn
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Coat

Re: Help a foreigner, please

"... due to various technical limitations in technology and Americans, the æ ...

There, FIFY.

Thanks, mine's the one with the complete OED and Webster's in the pocketses. >>

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PNGuinn
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Trollface

Demons - Daemons

Thanks Madge - you've just solved an 'istorical conundrum.

So they *were* evil witches in that village. Developed a new incantation, a prototype of systemd.

Well, when the truth was out, there was one possible way to save civilisation, wasn't there?

We're all doomed, I tell 'ee.

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PNGuinn
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Trollface

Obligatory

"various ways to deal with revenants, one of which was to dig up the offending corpse, decapitate and dismember it, and burn the pieces in a fire."

Pah.

Wen Ah were a lad our dad ....

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US cops, firefighters to get new emergency wireless network – AT&T to get $6.5bn

PNGuinn
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Boffin

Ask the UK

They really really need to ask the UK how to do this properly.

Perhaps the President needs to have a short technical discussion with our political expurts.

I'm sure our own Easter Bunny (T. M.) would be only too glad to give him some advice ....

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