* Posts by PNGuinn

1758 posts • joined 18 Mar 2014

Ex-Microsoft intern claimed one of her fellow temps raped her. Her bosses hired him

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: So what did the police say? @ hnwombat

"And, finally: it is always men saying that there are "degrees"and "grabbing an ass is not as bad as forcible rape". I doubt the difference is so apparent to the victim. They are both equally invasive, and equally wrong. Yes, I think we should charge people grabbing an ass with rape."

No No NO.

"Grabbing an ass" is generally NOT acceptable behaviour - from the context it's a sexual assault, possibly a serious sexual assault. But no way is it "invasive" in the sense that rape is "Invasive" All sexual assault should be punished severely if proven.

It's NOT rape. Rape is one of the most vile crimes a man can commit, and because of that the burden of proof is necessarily high. Some would say, and I would agree, that the ultimate penalty should be available to the courts for rape.

Rape is NOT a trivial matter. To equate it to "Grabbing as ass" IS to trivialise it, and is a vile insult to rape victims.

Sorry, downvoted.

6
0

Exploding alien bodies' space death-rays gave Earth its radiation cloak

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Boffin

I call Bu**sh&) on this

"The team used a small shoe-box sized particle telescope – which was built by undergraduate and graduate students at the university and blasted into orbit in 2014 as a CubeSat mission – to measure the flux of energetic solar protons and electrons from the radiation belt over two years."

So, reading between the lines, they gave the vital bit to a couple of undergrads, who cobbled it all together between hangovers. A bit of kit the size of a shoebox. With no time design and make a lightweight case for the bally thing.

"Doh - I know, I've got an old shoebox under the bed in my room that I keep my sneakers in - Y'know, I think it may just fit. I was thinking of chucking it out - the neighbours in the flat 2 floors down are beginning to complain ... but you know the old saying "In space no one can hear you gag" ... I'll bring it in tomorrow"

"Noooo, Luv ... just take the kit home with you and try it there ... If it fits, tape the lid on tight and wrap the whole kaboodle tightly with several layers of clingfilm to make it airtight. Bring it in tomorrow and we present it quick. All agreed?

"Ai, ai Captain."

It's well known in scientific circles that the pong from a young girl's sneakers can make a sewer smell foul. Exploding supernovae? I fart - er, I mean, I point a girl's sneakers in their general direction. El Reg had a piece on this very subject but a few months ago.

>>He'll have to do - we need a nose 'n ferrit icon.

1
0

NASA says New Horizons' next stop might have a moon

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Not again...The moon has a moon: it's called the Earth.

I'll see your moon and raise you the sun. (That way you'll save it having to get up tomorrow). Its moon(s) is the earth and all the other planetses and Pluto is still a planetses - so there!

And from where I live I see the sun go round me just like the moon, so the sun must be a moon or the sun is flat!

I'll think I'll found the flat sun society. Bound to get lots and lots of members if I do.*

Anyways, the serious thing is - *ANOTHER* ducky shaped bit of rock?? WTF is the matter with the universe these days? Does this one phart? Enquiring minds etc ...

* Sadly that bit's not a joke.

0
0

'Suspicious' BGP event routed big traffic sites through Russia

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Three minutes...

I thought they needed a special tank behind a special john in a special facility to capture that sort of thing.

Oh, and hopefully rubber gloves to do the actual packet capture.

>> thanks, it's the perfumed one on the end with the used rubber gloves sticking out of the pockets.

0
0

Google lies about click-fraud refunds and tried to destroy us – ad biz

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Angel

doubleclick

Doubleclick?

Can't say I've ever come across that. Maybe there's something amiss with my hosts file ...

0
0

New battery boffinry could 'triple range' of electric vehicles

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Mushroom

When failures do occur the Phosphorus and Sulfur could compound fire issues

Simples. Just add lots of activated carbon to absorb the fumes.

Now all I need to do is chemically justify the addition of some potassium nitrate .....

>> Well, not quite, but in maybe 3 years time ....

3
0

User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: It's all black

"Anybody still remember the "Hotdog Stand" color scheme from Windows 3.1?"

No, but I do remember a screensaver from back in the days when microshaft could still write an os, all 16 bits of it.

Someone correct me if they remember it and I'm wrong, but I think it was called "Leaking Roof" or somesuch. When it kicked in drops of condensation appeared inside the crt and ran down inside, slowly smudging the desktop.

7
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: @Teiwaz

No good, my old fruit. Fits a cd rom slot. I guess it'll have (a) rounded corner.

Someone'll sue the &^$% out of you for that.

Make a 5 1/4 inch razor sharp brush cutter type blade, preferably out of something like depleted Unobtanium, rev her up and then FIRE! Rotary LART.

Bullseye!

>>We need a rotary LART icon.

4
0

Foil snack food bags make a decent Faraday cage, judge finds

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Cheetohs? @Dabooka

Don't you mean crumbs up?

6
0

Can't wait for 5G? Don't then, Gigabit LTE will be around for ages

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Using old BT phoneboxes

Shirly there aren't that many left.

0
0

The End of Abandondroid? Treble might rescue Google from OTA Hell

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: Does it really matter? @fishman

Hey! Speak for yourself!

Some of us on here are tech savvy, butt ugly and proud of it.

2
0

US intelligence blabs classified Linux VM to world via leaky S3 silo

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

What about the GPL?

So, TFA is not clear.

This is a "classified" linux system. OK, so far so so good. It's private. No need to release the source code.

But now it's been "published". Presumably GPL. So, where can we download it?

4
0

Rolls-Royce, Airbus, Siemens tease electric flight engine project

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Joke

@ Christoph

"Is this actually practical? Can they power electric aircraft over a reasonable range without either too much weight of batteries or a really long extension cord?"

That's the advantage of hydrogen powered aircraft. The supply hose would be self levitating.

Patent it. Form a company to develop it. Sell it to a gullible VC. KER-CHING!

0
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Advantages "I take it they'll be using Duracells." @AC

So, only for short hops then.

>> We need a wabbit icon.

0
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Advantages

"you need run only a single generator rather than two or more engines"

= single point of failure. Just sayin'.

And where do the passengers sit?

>>Thanks, it's the long silk one neatly packed up on the shelf above the hook.

0
0

Three useless UK.gov 'catapults' put in Last Chance Saloon

PNGuinn
Silver badge
IT Angle

" Maybe Plank's constant is different in the UK for some reason."

It is.

Our grubbymint has some of the biggest planks in the world. Haven't you noticed?

>> We need a SFW plank icon.

0
0

156K spam text-sending firm to ICO: It wasn't us, Commissioner

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Devil

Re: @ RE: Kenny

While +1 for putting the spuds in the freezer first, the old ways were best ... and odure from the slaughterhouse ...

A few barrels of rancid dromedary giblets, for example ... Perhaps we could repurpose a jet engine frozen chicken trebuchet ...

Just make it part of the sentence that they have to return the giblets to the barrels and clean up by hand afterwards ...

Yes, I know I'm too nice to the lowlife scum.

>> we need a barrel of rancid dromedary giblets icon.

1
1

Baaa-d moooo-ve: Debian Linux depicts intimate cow-sheep action in ASCII artwork

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Headmaster

Missionary position seems tame

Re British Museum -

It's a sculpture - did you mean "masonry position"?

4
0

Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: So how do you heat it?

Software update, natch. Teach it to do lots of wheelies.

OTOH. What alien life will make of all those patterns in the Arizona desert is anyone's guess.

Guess they’re strapped for cash if they can't get a tyre change truck out that far ....

4
0

Crewless dinghy signs to UK Ship Register for Middle East mission

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Megaphone

Re: Am I the only one ...

Hopefully, yes.

It should've been called something more traditional along the lines of "Pipey mcPipeface.

Shirly?

8
2

New UK aircraft carrier to be commissioned on Pearl Harbor anniversary

PNGuinn
Silver badge
IT Angle

Whelpy McWhelpface.

+1 for Whelpy McWhelpface.

12
7

Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Interesting

Stick the batteries into a container and swap it out at the "petrol station" for a fully charged one.

Stick the freight under the driver's seat.

See, driverless trucks - room for more freight. You know it makes sense.

And you read it on el Reg first.

6
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Fnar, fnar

I wonder if there's any market for electric bridges?

>> He'd like one.

4
1
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Tesla semi?

Zog, this is a truck. Plenty of room in the back for all those batteries.

Freight, who mentioned freight?

21
0

Intel drags Xeon Phi Knights Hill chips out back... two shots heard

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Go

Re: 2+2=?

4.3333333

This is chipzilla, remember.

5
0

Crap London broadband gets the sewer treatment

PNGuinn
Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Access @Lee D

"unlike electricity and metal gas pipes that already run through there."

I sincerely hope not. Metal gas pipes down there are going to corrode quite quickly and then leak. (And using yellow pe is just adding more rat food). Bear in mind that the sewer system is not just smallish pipes. This is Victorian Engineering at its best. There's some cathedral like spaces down there, and the system connects with the fresh water sewers, other tunnel systems and even the Underground. Get to the lower flammability limit, one naughty spark (did I mention the Tube?) and it'll do more that blow the bloody manholes off. Come to think of it, I don't like the idea of Leccy down there either. But then, I'm an engineer not a beancounter - a spreadsheet and a bonus for some deskbound excel jockey is more important than the lives of sewer workers after all - out of sight out of mind.

3
0

Thousand-dollar iPhone X's Face ID wrecked by '$150 3D-printed mask'

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Big Brother

Hmmm...

When I was a kid I had a potato man kit (Q lots of tut tutting and cries of miss spent youth and all that)

ISTR that the, blue if I remember correctly (ok - its a fair cop - a miss spent childhood - I admit it - I must have played with it at least a dozen times, cruelty to spuds and all that) nose was extremely large compared to the other plastic bits.

Now, with all the wisdom of advancing years, I wonder if those bits of plastic landfill plus a suitable tuber might be used for something useful after all?

>> we need a potato man icon. perfectly round and with frikkin lasers of course - it's got to be a grownups icon, natch, this is el Reg.

1
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Go

Re: Nothing to worry about @scubadynamo

You're assuming that you need all that hitech malarky to crack it.

Has anyone tried a paper mache mockup instead?

Or an enlarged selfie piccie of someone looking vaguely like the ex owner not even taken with an ithing?

or ...

Q lots of people competing to find the simplest crack.

1
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: When will they learn (@ AC) @Gnasher 739

But if you DO have the phone and the owner ... serious jail time only if your name isn't TLA ... and have an automated motorised silicone mask computer linked to the camera that just took the 3d photo of the owner ... so much less messy that "Traditional" methods.

"And a phone in a faraday cage can’t make phone calls, can’t get on the internet, and is quite useless."

You need an internet connected "Smart Michael" (TM). Make sure it's pwned, and then download all that tasty data off the 'Hintertoobz. Simples.

>> only half in jest.

0
1

Boffins on alert: Brace yourselves for huge gravitational wave coming within a decade

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Holmes

The 100% certainty is certainly mathematically uncertain.

The bistromathics of it all eludes me.

4
0

Munich council: To hell with Linux, we're going full Windows in 2020

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Win10 still a crap pile of excrement @Madge

I'd say it's a a excrement pile of crap, but there you go.

Perhaps we're both right.

4
1

Metal 3D printing at 100 times the speed and a twentieth of the cost

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Just a thought here...@defiler

Take my advice, mate. Stick to badgers' holes, Them rabbits is dangerous.

Or if you like vacuums, sheep holes. they tend to be rounder.

>> Thanks, it's the stiff white one with the long arms.

0
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Happy

I wonder if it could print replacement cabinet ministers?

C'mon - there's a lot of other bits they never use too - not to mention the bits they seem to use to excess and would be far better without.

Hitech custom eunuchs. Go for it I say.

Not as satisfying as the traditional method though, progress always spoils someone's fun.

1
0

Boffins: We can identify you by your typing, and we're gonna sell the tech to biz, govt – yay!

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Accelerometer data

Why did I misread that last l? Maybe I've been reading elReg for too long ...

0
0

Firefox 57: Good news? It's nippy. Bad news? It'll also trash your add-ons

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Such is life. Have a look around - it's a constant race of arms.

"If you had a leaded gasoline car, you'd be out of luck, unless you did whatever you need to do to keep them running on modern gas.

If you had bought lots of cassette tapes, you'd not have them working on any recent equipment.

If your light fixtures for some reason insists on incandescents..."

For most cars the mods to the engine to cope with unleaded are fairly easy. Making it run as well on the unleaded carcinogenic hooch that passes for petrol is another matter. You may need to adjust the timing curves (distributor mods) and carburation as well as fittting hardened seats to the exhaust ports and probably new valves. Hint : these may already have been fitted from new eg in any ally head.

Or you can add an additive to the petrol. There are at least a couple that have been tested thoroughly and are proven to work. Or, in the UK add your own lead tetra ethyl. Be careful though, organic lead is nasty stuff.

My beef though is that you pay through the nozzle for the extra cost of manufacturing the new sh&t and then have to pay again to get it to work safely / properly.

If you don't use your old classic much and drive it carefully you may be ok for 10,000 - 15,000

miles or more with lead memory - the coating of metallic lead on the valve seats can last a long time. Just watch the valve clearances carefully.

Be careful though, the bastards reduced the lead levels in 4 star to way below the levels needed to protect the engine long before we went "Unleaded". You may have less lead memory than you think, And don't do a decoke.

Cassettes? making a comeback, I'm told - just like gramophone records!

If your light fixtures for some reason insists on incandescents..

Well, the technology's slowly getting there. Compact mercury vapour fluorescents were a dead loss from he beginning, but fluorescent leds are showing promise, Apart from the lousy colour rendering and eye strain caused by peaky line spectra. Largely curable but at a serious loss in efficiency.

The only light fixtures having problems with leds at the moment seem to be 12V dichroic tungsten replacements, where it's really the "fault" of the transformers being asked to operate outside their ratings on too low a wattage, led lamps to replace 150W and 200W gls lamps and replacements for 300W 500W and 1000W linear Halogens.

It's interesting to see the marketing landgrab here. Fittings without replacable lamps. Factor in the cost of a new fitting and the sparks to change it and cost savings don't look so rosy.

Progress - Bah. We need an internet connected digital candle icon. Spherical, of course, with a B22 base. None of yer Edison Screwups.

11
2
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Headmaster

"My amp still works on the mains 240V,,,"

<pedant> They changed the voltage a while back to 230V so as to be in line with the rest of the EU. </pedant>

<pedantic pedant> Not quite. They opened up the voltage tolerance so that there was "compatability" throughout the eu. I'm not aware that anything in the UK actually changed. (Yet).

More of a problem some years ago when places like Holland and Frogland moved off 110v to something more civilised. At least all the eu were humming from the same frequency hymn sheet ... if not synchronised to the UK.

>> He'll do. </pedantic pedant>

20
0

Jet packs are REAL – and inventor just broke world speed record in it

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Go

Re: Flying is the easy bit...

It has been said the the art of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

How much fuel does that take?

Quaint try, but way to yet, go lads.

3
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Flame

Re:Search and rescue

I thought the object was to rescue the casualty alive - not undertake a premature cremation.

8
0

This could be our favorite gadget of 2017: A portable projector

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Flame

FRICKIN BRIGHTNESS????

Nowhere in the review does it mention the frikkin shark, nor the frikkin brightness of its frikkin lasers!

Real commentards need to know!

0
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Good lord. @AC

Portable toilets have been around for ages - from the humble bucket with seat to fully sealed units with flush.

For varying definitions of portable. AFAIK no one's made one that would fit in a rucksack, but that's just an engineering (and emptying) exercise.

Standard height, seat with lid, flush water round the outside of the bowl, (pro tip: use a hand held garden sprayer - better "flush" and uses less water), pull out flush blade to seal your doings in the bottom tank, pressure release valve when you open the flush blade, 4 gal capacity waste tank. You'd be quite happy to bring it home in the back of the car part full - apart from the sloshing sound when you go round corners / over bumps you'd forget it was there.

Portable, yeah, only weighs a few pounds, Filled with 4 gal of sh*t and pi** on the other hand ... Think luggable to the nearest emptying point.

>> if you try this down under - watch out for 'ol redback.

1
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Joke

Lack of white walls

1. Go camping further north.

2. In the woods.

3. Find a constipated polar bear.

4. Make friends.

2
0

Apache OpenOffice: We're OK with not being super cool... PS: Watch out for that Mac bug

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Thumb Up

MS Works?

I phart in it's general direction.

I had that POS on a 1995 WFWG 3.11 machine. A msword addict got a new 'puter and gave me the 2 (really 1 1/2) floppies that came with it with Claris Works 1. A full integrated basic office suite, wp, db basic drawing package, spreadsheet, spell checker, super easy to use, lightening fast in 4 MB of ram .... an it'll do things that LO still cant. AND the instructions came on a couple of dead trees ....

I've managed to get Claris Works 3 (all of 5 floppies) working in wine, but no luck so far with v1 beyond the splash screen. Another retirement project.

1
0

ATM fees shake-up may push Britain towards cashless society

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Mushroom

"If the limit was higher I'd get it disabled for my cards."

Good luck with that. SnotWest agreed - with very bad grace - to replace my new cards with non contactless - with some loss in functionality.

Can't remember what - was some gismo I never used.

SnotWest Mastercard? sorry, no way - Master Bates doesn't do 'em. Looks like I'll have to cut the aerial coil on the card.

Anyone confirm that such nefarious activity won't upset the rest of the card?

3
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Go

These new plastic notes are as slippery as hell

And tend to stick together, so it's easy to pay someone £20 in 3 or 4 tenners.

So fold 'em properly.

You'll have to do them individually, and will need a flat hard surface and a strong finger nail, but it can be done,

What we need is a small round readily pocketable metal object to rub firmly down the fold.

Could make a suggestion, but some fruit'd only patent it.

3
0

Your future data-centre: servers immersed in box full of oil, in a field

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: Back to the 80's @Pete 2

It'd make security simple - Sharks with frikkin lasers in the server tank.

8
0

El Reg assesses crypto of UK banks: Who gets to wear the dunce cap?

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: "we do have a number of layers protecting the website"

"Why, yes, -- those layers would be the PR department, its 11 layers deep."

Or 11 lawyers deep, Min.

0
0

Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Curious...

And what tasted better? The rations or the bog paper?

Enquiring minds etc ...

4
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: One such trip involved “four of us sitting around a cage full of monkeys, feeding them fruit”

"They weren't relatives of the Foreign Secretary were they ?"

One would have hoped they were the Prime Sinister, the FS and the rest of the cab'init ... but one can dream ....

>> We need an icon containing, amongst other things, a cage of monkeys, some fruit and a large fan. I'm sure fellow commentards could make good use of it ....

2
0

Giza geezers' muon-geyser visor reveals Great Pyramid's hidden void surpriser

PNGuinn
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Do things the hard way...

"Yeah, miniature flying robots seems to be a technological step too far, especially since they need to invent them first."

Please sir .... The Senior Service appear to have a new prototype drone flying boat they're trialling. HMS Darlington.

>> The only wetness available. We need a tot 'O rum icon.

1
0
PNGuinn
Silver badge
Boffin

Drill a small hole ...

"Apart from the size of the space, little is known about the void. To explore this further, the team are thinking about drilling a very small hole – measuring a few centimetres across – so that a tiny robot can fly inside to reveal the hidden details of the cavity."

May have been worthwhile yesterday. The truth's out now.

Them grave robberz move fast. Especially the onez who read elReg'

>> You'll need Elf 'n safety gear to drill a hole ....

2
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017