* Posts by Zog_but_not_the_first

1633 posts • joined 18 Feb 2014

Tech to solve post-Brexit customs woes doesn't exist yet, peers say

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Try to be positive...

For example, Tesco have opened a new class of shop for Brexiteers. Full of Union Jacks. And shit.

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What's Big and Blue – and makes its veteran staff sue? Yep, it's IBM

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Mushroom

First kill...

... all the accountants.

Sorry, Shakesy.

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Revealed: The billionaire baron who’ll ride Elon’s thrusting erection to the Moon and back

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Capricorn One set

Time to pull off the dust sheets?

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Microsoft tells volume customers they can stay on Windows 7... for a bit longer... for a fee

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Some grounds for optimism?

Maybe we can have a referendum on Windows 10 and ALL go back to Windows 7.

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Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer's odd question

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Happy

I find it heartening...

... that human ingenuity will always find a way to defeat bureaucracy.

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Huawei's Alexa-powered AI Cube wants to squat in your living room too

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Will...

...no one rid me of this turbulent priest these turbulent spybots?

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Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Oooooo Matron

{fnar, fnar}

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AI image recognition systems can be tricked by copying and pasting random objects

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Re: The elephant in the room!

Absolutely! I'm enough of a techno-optimist to believe that we will develop reliable systems for these kind of tasks ONE DAY, but the headlong rush into "autonomous" vehicles troubles me.

It has the feel of a bubble, with technology companies and car manufacturers falling over themselves and each other to be the next best tulip/web company/sub-prime mortgage supplier.

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Everybody dance now: Watch this AI code fool friends into thinking you can cut a rug like a pro

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Days of Wonder

So I can't believe what I read and now I can't believe what I see.

Thumbs up for the Nap D reference though.

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Southport: Come for a round of golf, stay for the flesh-eating STIs

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Devil

El Reg's HR department???

WTF?

You MONSTERS.

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Whoa, is it Patch Tuesday already? No, just an unexpected critical Photoshop fix

Zog_but_not_the_first
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IT Angle

Just wondering...

Why image processing needs Internet access?

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The future of humanity: A Bluetooth ball hitting your face – forever

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Well..

At least this will stop people walking along the pavement with a phone stuck to their face.

Oh, wait...!

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Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Unhappy

Re: "It's a synthetic digital model of the real world,"

When I'm a pedestrian or cyclist, do I get three lives then another go?

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What happens to your online accounts when you die?

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Devil

IMHO

"That’s because you’re buying into a licence to use a thing, as opposed to buying the thing itself."

This is the Devil's work of the 21C

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EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Boffin

Re: £750m for the NHS per week

"Get your facts right - it's £350M per week ;-)"

To be fair, it was never a fact.

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Capita still squats on top of the UK's software and IT services heap

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Shirley...

"Capita still clung to its status as the top UK supplier of software and IT services (SITS) for 2017 "

Missing an "H"?

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All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

"Well, I guess a Hoover is out of the question to clean the place up."

Nah! Roomba Rover.

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Microsoft still longs to be a 'lifestyle' brand, but the cupboard looks bare

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Mushroom

Huh!

"Software and subscription access."

Not for me.

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Wearable hybrids prove the bloated smartwatch is one of Silly Valley's biggest mistakes

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Coat

The smartest watch of all...

Of course

Mine's the coat with a piece of paper in the pocket.

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You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Windows

Again?

It only seems five minutes since you last did it. That said, everything seems like that to me now.

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Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Happy

Re: Videos Of You Having A Wank

Dan Lob!!!

Priceless

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Evil third-party screens on smartphones are able to see all that you poke

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Happy

So Poke...

... then Peek.

Thanks for that nostalgia hit.

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Nissan 'fesses up to fudging emissions data

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

So....

"Unauthorised technicians" break into car plants, design and plan "cheating modifications", install these on production vehicles (under cover of darkness???) and then tiptoe quietly away.

And we're expected to believe this bullshit?

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Chrome, Firefox pull very unstylish Stylish invasive browser plugin

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Windows

Re: Problem when software changes hands

Stop complaining and keep using the "cloud".

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ZX Spectrum reboot firm boss delays director vote date again

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Vaseline...

And not on the edge connector.

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As far as the gender pay gap in Britain goes, IBM could do much worse

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Boffin

For your consideration...

I'll just leave this here.

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RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Unhappy

RIP Peter

Your creations had more soul in a knitted sock than much of the CGI in Hollywood.

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HP Ink's UK profits tumble nearly 85% – of course Brexit to blame

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Boffin

Er...

Why not buy a colour laser?

Just asking.

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Science fiction legend Harlan Ellison ends his short time on Earth

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Alien

Re: Minor pedant

Wasn't he credited as "a roaming agent of chaos" for his B5 stint?

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Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Boffin

Comparative Risk

I'd like to see the corresponding "hazard rates" for other activities on the same axis as the alcohol-related risk.

E.g. driving, rock climbing, crossing the road, ordering a phall from an unfamiliar Indian restaurant etc....

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Don't panic, but your baby monitor can be hacked into a spycam

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Holmes

See icon

See title

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Are your IoT gizmos, music boxes, smart home kit vulnerable to DNS rebinding attacks? Here's how to check

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Er,

Google Home IPs finished/started: {{googleHome.finishedIps.length}}/{{googleHome.startedIps.length}}

Roku IPs finished/started: {{roku.finishedIps.length}}/{{roku.startedIps.length}}

Radio Thermostat IPs finished/started: {{radioThermostat.finishedIps.length}}/{{radioThermostat.startedIps.length}}

Phillips Hue bridge IPs finished/started: {{phillips.finishedIps.length}}/{{phillips.startedIps.length}}

Sonos speaker IPs finished/started: {{sonos.finishedIps.length}}/{{sonos.startedIps.length}}

Nope.

Continue the research.

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Would you rather health data or finance data in the cloud?

Zog_but_not_the_first
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IT Angle

The proper question is...

Would you rather health data or finance data in the cloud stored on other people's servers?

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Keep your hands on the f*cking wheel! New Tesla update like being taught to drive by your dad

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Could someone please tell the press?

Only this morning I heard a matter-of-fact by-the-by on Radio 4 - "Now that self-driving cars are commonplace".

They aren't.

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Shock: Google advises UK peers against more legislation

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Mushroom

Corporate wars begun...

... they have.

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'Tesco probably knows more about me than GCHQ': Infosec boffins on surveillance capitalism

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Devil

@iron

"getting people off Facebook isn't a terribly good idea because not being able to volunteer a social media profile can make someone the subject of suspicion in countries such as the US"

That this is insanity is obvious. Has anyone run into problems from not having an account?

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Russian battery ambitions see a 10x increase in power from smaller, denser nukes

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

So...

Mister Fusion may turn out to be Comrade Fusion....

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The ice must flow: Dunes of frozen gas spotted on alien dwarf

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Back to the topic in hand...

Brilliant, brilliant science and technology.

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'Autopilot' Tesla crashed into our parked patrol car, say SoCal cops

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Self driving cars?

Bollocks!

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Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Coat

Re: Some men do get periods ...

Pregnancy = "putting meat on in the barbie."

Coat, obviously. For decency's sake.

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'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Big Brother

Once again, it's NOT YOUR PHONE

It's their phone.

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IP freely? What a wind-up! If only Trevor Baylis had patent protections inventors enjoy today

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Holmes

Money wins

T'was ever thus.

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Decades-old data reveals shows Jupiter’s moon sprayed alien juice over Galileo probe

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Re: "Decades old data"

{rushes to filing cabinet}

"I'll just get the Saturn Five plans..."

"Oh, wait..."

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You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Trollface

Alternatively...

Hedge-net.

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Mobileye's autonomous cars are heading to California. But they're not going to kill anyone. At least not on purpose

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Days of the Space Race

Reading this reminds me of the explanations and assertions that the Apollo missions were carefully designed to eliminate risk with failure events vanishingly rare etc. Privately, the astronauts reckoned the chances of coming home safely were about 50:50 (and I'm glad they made it).

See also nuclear power's one-in-ten-thousand-years critical event record...

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App devs bewildered by last-minute Google GDPR klaxon

Zog_but_not_the_first
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IT Angle

Can't...

... they just assume consent and carry on slurping? They're Google, after all.

Not evil, or anything like that.

Maybe.

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So when can you get in the first self-driving car? GM says 2019. Mobileye says 2021. Waymo says 2018 – yes, this year

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Meanwhile

"Ordinary" BMW cars can fail unpredictability and dangerously.

Someone really wants to get us all into those pods, don't they?

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Time to ditch the Facebook login: If customers' data should be protected, why hand it over to Zuckerberg?

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Devil

Burke updated...

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men people to do nothing continue posting about every activity, every meal, every bowel movement and encourage their family and friends to do likewise.”

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Blighty: If EU won't let us play at Galileo, we're going home and taking encryption tech with us

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Facepalm

Fucking Brexit

Sorry. It's just how I feel about it.

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No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Zog_but_not_the_first
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Pint

The older you get...

The more you realise what's really going on and then reach for one of these.

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