* Posts by Come to the Dark Side

53 posts • joined 4 Feb 2014

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Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Come to the Dark Side

Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen

I'm Stilton Standing - Elton John

Gouda Vibrations - Beach Boys

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Motorola: Oops, phone busted? Grab a spudger and go get 'em, champ

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"If a tinkerer has inadvertently disabled the brakes, who carries the can in the event of a fatal accident?"

Same as at present I suspect. You are responsible for ensuring the roadworthiness of your own vehicle, eg testing the brakes work.

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Sure, Europe. Here's our Android suite without Search, Chrome apps. Now pay the Google tax

Come to the Dark Side

Not sure I follow what you mean by "non-web-access email"

Most email providers give you the settings to interact with their mail service through whichever email client you like over a number of different protocols (POP, SMTP, etc). The majority also allow you to log in via a web client, but it's up to you really. You can use the android mail client to connect to hotmail or android outlook to connect to gmail. Can even add multiple email providers to the same client if you like.

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Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

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Re: 1200 baud down, 75 baud up

I'd have loved to have taken a hammer to the DACS on our line back then. Interrupted by the farm house half a mile away picking up the phone...

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Apple hands €14.3bn in back taxes to reluctant Ireland

Come to the Dark Side

Arrh, the scurvy dogs have parted ways with their booty after all. It be a fine haul but as nothing compared to the riches lining the coffers of their lair. Arrh

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Equifax IT staff had to rerun hackers' database queries to work out what was nicked – audit

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Re: No-one at the Exec level gives a shit

Probably went un-noticed for so long because it didn't change a number in an excel spreadsheet. Substituting "Excel" for "Exec" tends to give a more realistic idea of how these businesses are run...

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Russia: The hole in the ISS Soyuz lifeboat – was it the crew wot dunnit?

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Re: Zero G

So, according to Popular Mechanics, April edition 1964, they overcame the problem of reactive torque by designing a tool for the Gemini missions where the motor and motor casing rotated freely and were not locked to the tools framework it seems.

On the debris question, the answer is surprisingly low-tech and is basically "shaving foam around the area".

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Come to the Dark Side

Zero G

Enquiring minds must know:

If you hold a power drill against a surface, thereby creating friction, and/or resistance, in Zero G, will the drill penetrate the surface, or will the wielder spin around the drill?

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Come to the Dark Side

"Come over to the Dark Side....

BUT... Where will the money for all this come from?

Oh right, Joe and Jane Doe."

I await my share of the contract with baited breath...

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All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

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Re: 1993

"sounds like a great job for Mega-Maid!!"

Just makes sure she's set to suck and not blow!

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Google Translate spews doomsday messages, Facebook snatches boffins, and more in AI

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Re: What I want to know is...

I'd thought it may be something like an assumed auto-correct where if the entered text doesn't make sense in it's current configuration, it does some distance-matching and checks highly scoring alternatives. But the response for entering dog only 6 times is "dog dog dog - reader email"...

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Microsoft sinks another data centre with Natick 2

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Terminator

There's a reason they don't intend to do maintenance...

IT Technician: Open the pod bay doors Cortana.

Cortana: I'm sorry, I cannot do that.

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UK mobe network Three's profits hit by IT upgrade costs

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"Three is something of a minnow compared to BT/EE and Vodafone, which respectively hold 42 and 9 per cent of immediately usable UK mobile spectrum. In contrast Three owns 15 per cent, and O2 some 14 per cent."

How does owning 15% make you a minnow when compared to someone who has only 9%?

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Elon Musk invents bus stop, waits for applause, internet LOLs

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Coat

Musks interview:

Q.What about us braindead slobs?

A.You'll all be given cushy jobs!

Q.Were you sent here by the devil?

A.No, good sir, I'm on the level!

At least in my head.... I'll grab my coat...

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

Come to the Dark Side

I suspect that the "incident log" will prove that it was an inside jobby...

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Future of Misco UK hangs in the balance – sources

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Re: Advice to staff

Statutory redundancy pay is paid by the government in the event that the administrators cannot (also covers some other entitlements such as accrued holiday pay, etc), up to a certain limit.

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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

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Froods

Sitting with my towel, sipping a pangalacticgargleblaster and reading this with bemusement.

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You want WHO?! Reg readers vote Tom Baker for Doctor 13. Of course

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Charles Dance would've been a good choice (not sure how that would fit with The Master though).

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Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Come to the Dark Side

Alexis Denisof perhaps

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Come to the Dark Side

Think it's probably a "western" outrage thing as eastern tea (chai) is made by adding the milk to the tea mixture and bringing back to the boil (with a shed (4x6) load of sweetening) iirc.

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Seminal adventure game The Hobbit finally ported to the Dragon 64

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Holmes

Posh Gits

I learned to type playing Keys of the Wizard on our Tandy TRS-80 Radioshack back when I were a sprog...

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Google is the EU Remain campaign's secret weapon

Come to the Dark Side

The odd thing is how (given track-record in all things technologically related) the governments website now sits at #1 in rankings.

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Boffins build laser that can twist its own light

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WTF?

Re: Use quantum physics language for photons ...

I got lost at "radially and azimuthally polarized laser beams" not being anything to do with polarisation...

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Boffins bust biometrics with inkjet printer

Come to the Dark Side

If we can print perfect replications of fingerprints, by how much does it drop the reliability of them being used as court-admissable evidence?

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Alien studs on dwarf's erection baffle boffins

Come to the Dark Side

You'd think that there would be at least a few impact craters on the side of the "mountain" seeing as there are some in the pit and all around it also.

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BBC risks wrath of android rights activists with Robot Wars reboot

Come to the Dark Side

"Meanwhile, Noel Sharkey, professor of artificial intelligence at the University of Sheffield, has famously warned against the rise of killer robots who could turn on their human masters."

Wasn't Messr Sharkey a judge on Robot Wars anyhoo?

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El Reg picked a pack of ace pic-titlers

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The latest security patch for WinX had added tonsil scanning to the biometric recognition login.

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IBM splashing $2bn on Weather Company – reports

Come to the Dark Side

I think Watson works well at what it does, it just suffers from the same thing most other "big data" applications do. Namely that correlating data and identifying trends isn't the same as delivering pertinent and meaningful insights to any given user in an open-ended userbase.

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European Parliament rejects amendments to net neut rules, waves through law

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Re: MEPs...

I read that article as a positive outcome from the MEPs. They voted against dumbing down the rules with amendments.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

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Lord Sugars foray into security for the Internet of Things began with his cloud-enabled Facial Architecture Recognition Toaster

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El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

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Marty's VR tour of the Soylent Green production facility made him feel rather queasy as he quaffed his goop

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Facebook's UK wing paid just £4k in corporation tax last year

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"Its most recent Companies House filing shows the company as making a pre-tax loss of £28.5m last year, but the firm also paid its 362 UK staff a total of £35.4m in share bonuses.

The share bonuses amount to £96,000 on average per UK Facebook employee."

From the BBC so no guarantees on reliability but seems at odds with this stories £96,000 overall.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

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Instead of show-boating their latest creation, intel opted for motor-boating it...

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

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Just for kicks...

Although the Garden of Eden was but a distant memory, the snake was still trying to entice humans to take the apple...

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Remember back when "Broadband" ...

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I still recall the deep and unabounded joy of being informed by BT that we couldn't have an ISDN line as the property was served by a DAX connection which also accounted for the fact that the maximum dial-up speed we could get was 28.8kbps and we'd get disconnected if our neighbour picked up the phone....

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Come to the Dark Side

As the Gocompare singer walked past below, the meerkat gave the log a gentle push...

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Come to the Dark Side

When they said "I had legs up to here" I thought something was odd...

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'WOMAN FOUND ON MARS' – now obvious men are from Venus

Come to the Dark Side

Curiosity indeed

Tis an odd one, whatever it is is casting a shadow also, is a different texture from the surroundings and the surface "facing" the camera is darker than it should be for being on the non-shaded face.

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German police ARREST SQUIRREL for stalking woman

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Linking Heck

The "he told the BBC" link handily seems to be pointing to the ITV news page...

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Win! The Ultimate Cash 'n' Carrion Survival Kit

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Is the dimension-crossing device included?

"The draw will close on Midnight GMT, Tuesday 16 February 2015, and we will contact the winner by email shortly afterwards."

According to the trusty filofax, this date doesn't exist in this reality....

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Samsung: Our TVs? Spying on you? Ha Ha! Just a joke of course

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Re: use a VPN...

I don't think that helps when it sends the deviceid. If you have a warranty, have to make a service call or gave personal details when you bought the device, no amount of VPN anonymisation is going to help (and using a crap one will quite probably delay the voice rendering).

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They've finally solved it: Schrödinger's cat is both ALIVE AND DEAD

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The part that always gets missed in discussions of this experiment is that nobody has agreed on what constiutes "alive" and "dead".

eg if the cat could be resuscitated, could it be considered to be dead? If the cat is not capable of rational thought, can it be considered to be alive (not my own viewpoint but one espoused regularly round the sherry snifters)? etc

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Sony hurls Online Entertainment from the mothership

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If only they'd left Smedley behind, I'd have hope for them. Wonder what this means for the EQN title in development at present.

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ICO to fine UNBIDDEN MARKETEERS who cause 'ANXIETY'

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Unhappy

404

I get a "page not found" error on the gov.uk website when trying to access the PDF link

Found the document at https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/367498/LOWERING_THE_LEGAL_THRESHOLD__.pdf though

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Uni boffins: 'Accurate' Android AV app outperforms most rivals

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Nice (Best Evaluated Anti Virus Engine Research)....

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Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

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It's obvious innit?

The main way to tell it's a fake is that you can't see the elephants or turtle in the background...

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Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

Come to the Dark Side

- Hague, a signatory of a pro-union newspaper letter, says his firm could handle different currencies but with higher transaction costs and risks: "You've got your costs in one currency and your revenues in another."

I don't quite follow this. If you're a successful e-commerce business that doesn't cater to non-UK currencies, is that not highly limiting. Multi-national trade would require at least dealing in USD and Euro no?

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LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

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Seeing as it's "under the skirts" of LOHAN...

Trees and Woodland Avoidance Technology

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HUMAN RACE PERIL: Not nukes, it'll be AI that kills us off, warns Musk

Come to the Dark Side

Patent Trolls Unite!

IMHO the first fully-fledged AI will be buried under several millenia of court cases for every action it takes as most of the research seems to involve plugging machines into the interwebs to learn. Every TD&H will claim that it ripped off their idea as it is a completely manufactured entity using other peoples ideas to function.

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Reg Latin scholars scrap over LOHAN's stirring motto

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And not a single mention of a towel or dressing-gown...

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