* Posts by Lazlo Woodbine

44 posts • joined 3 Feb 2014

You may not have noticed, but 'superfast' broadband is available to 94% of Blighty

Lazlo Woodbine

I'm one of the 6.1%

Annoying a fibre goes past the end of my lane, but it's not in my cabinet, so for at least the next 12 months I'm stuck with 8mbs, and at peak I don't even have a good enough connection for a single standard def iPlayer stream

Ransomware sleazeballs target UK schools

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: sleazeballs target UK schools

That's the case for Primary schools, for secondary schools there doesn't seem to be any consistency

Lazlo Woodbine

Called me twice this week

Got a call from these bastards on Wednesday.

"Hello this is Mary from Department of Education, I need to contact your IT manager, can you let me have his email address."

"If you're really from the Department for Education then the should already have our proper contact email details,"

She put the phone down.

She called back on Thursday

"Hello this is Mary from the Department of Communications, I need to contact your IT manager, can you let me have his..."

I didn't let her finish the sentence.

Note to scammers:

It's the Department For Education, not Of

There is no Department of Communications...

LibreOffice 5.0 debuts, complete with fewer German code comments

Lazlo Woodbine

"p.s. My $deity! It's full of megabytes! Two-thirds of a gigabyte, in fact. That's some digital paper-weight."

Which version did you download, the English 64bit Windows installer is 234mb and the help file is 5mb

Five data centres you can't live without

Lazlo Woodbine

Are you sure that Netflix is served from Amazon's datacentres?

Seems odd that the main competitor to Amazon's own Prime Instant Video (neé Love Film) would risk an "accidental" outage by relying on Amazon as their conduit to the world

BT to gobble EE for £12.5bn – BTEE phone home

Lazlo Woodbine

Oh shit

Was going to move to EE from O2 & Talk Talk next year, now I need to find another network that is reliable in the Lancs / Cumbria border

Cray-cray Met Office spaffs £97m on very average HPC box

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Shiny

The IBM computer currently in place was never adequate for the job in hand, which is why they've decided to buy a proper computer this time

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: 16TFlops for £97m???

I suspect they mean 16 PFlops

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Devolution?

Doesn't matter how ridiculous your procedures are, as long as they're followed to the letter you're OK

NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Ouch

The stuff Richard Ryan torture tests generally dies, usually cut in half by .50 calibre rounds, but sometimes packed with C4 or wrapped in detonation cord.

It really does make Top Gear seem sensible, but it's always fun to watch

Microsoft's SELFIE-TASTIC Nokia 830, 730: Complete with DOG SMILE WHITENER

Lazlo Woodbine

Losing the shutter button is a bad idea

The hardware shutter button was the main selling point when I opted for a Lumia 720.

Losing the button will make me think long and hard about replacing it with a 730 when my contract is due for renewal

Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Devil's advocate....

Except the song is called "Set fire to the rain", not "Fire", and any display is unlikely to just show the second word of the title, even if it's only a 4 character display it would show "Set " or "rain".

Secondly, where do you get hire or loan cars with all the options added? Most loaners I've had are the very basic model and hire cars are normally just a step up from basic

Motorola Moto E: Brill budget blower with one bothersome blunder

Lazlo Woodbine

Can't say I've ever had to use the front camera on any phone I've owned.

In fact the lack of one is a bonus, as I won't have to put up with a full screen image of myself when I accidentally hit the swap camera button instead of the effects button.

The lack of a decent rear camera & flash is a deal breaker however, which is a shame, as this would have made a very nice, inexpensive route back to android for my girlfriend, who doesn't like the Ebay & facebook apps on her Windows phone

Google Maps adds all UK public transport timetables

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: "eventuates"


"ORLY? ---> Eventuates"

And if you bothered to read the links you'd have found out what I did when I googled to check, the UK English dictionaries do not list Eventuates, just Eventuate.

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: "eventuates"

Mmmm thanks for posting a chink of the dictionary, I now what eventuate means, but eventuates, with an S, doesn't seem to exist in any dictionary, at least not a modern UK English dictionary

Lazlo Woodbine


I seriously doubt that "eventuates" is a real word

Adobe blames 'maintenance failure' for 27-hour outage

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: I feel a disturbance in the fashion world

Adobe Creative Cloud Down, High Risk of Reality


Canonical teams up with Tranquil PC to deliver Ubuntu cluster-in-a-box

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: The link says:

Seeing as the development work was carried out by Canonical, and Tranquil are only contracted to put the box together, I'd say that they probably aren't allowed to say whether it'll work with Debian or not

Stone the crows, Bouncer! BT defends TV recorder upgrade DELETION snafu

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Which box?

I've got a Talk Talk Youview box and it does the same thing. Last night it recorded NCIS on Ch 5+1, did the same thing a couple of weeks ago.

Probably down to Ch5 rather than You View as it doesn't seem to happen on any other channel

Microsoft puffs up OneDrive, now with 1TB per head for biz users

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Meaningless hype

I do real work, but in my first year in this job I've generated less than a gig of files, I image the vast majority of office based staff are the same as me, working in Word & Excel using the compress xml files.

By the way, @ between 5 & 15gb a month you'll still take between 5 & 16 years to fill a terabyte, so my point is still valid...

Lazlo Woodbine

Meaningless hype

Which business user will need 1tb of storage for documents?

Yeah, if you're into media creation then that storage would be handy, but you'd want faster access than offered by OneDrive which is pedestrian at best.

UK bank heist-by-KVM gang sent down for 24 years after nicking £1.2m

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Canny crooks..........

"Canny crooks.......... .............and they bought Macs?*"

They bought exclusively shiny expensive stuff, showing all the taste of a magpie...

Lost artworks by Andy Warhol found on 80s-era FLOPPY DISKS

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Sorry Neil McAllister.

Both PCs were in clean rooms, so dust wasn't the issue, and when I dug out some old disks they worked fine, hence my feeling that Imation branded floppy discs manufactured post 2002 were crap...

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: 880 KiB on the 3.5'' floppy

72KiB on a single sided 5 1/4" floppy, Verbatim brand, RM 380z, 1982

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Sorry Neil McAllister.

The old floppies keep their data well, but later floppies were cheap shite.

Up to about 10 years ago I worked in a place that had two very old PCs that weren't on the network, but I had to take a manifest off one & put it on the other. As they were ancient NT 3.1 machines there were no USB ports, so 3.5" floppies were the only available option.

The PCs were about 200 metres apart, and I'd say about 50% of the time I'd have CRC errors on the floppies when I tried to read them back in the second PC, and these were brand new, straight from the box discs

TalkTalk's catch-up telly fib silenced by ad watchdog

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Hang on.

You View only has access to BBC iPlayer (BBC 1,2,3 & 4), ITV Player (ITV 1, 2,3 & 4), 4OD (Ch 4 and limited shows from More 4 & E4, not Film 4) & Demand 5 (Ch 5 and some of 5* and 5 USA).

Pretty much all BBC output is available on iPlayer straight after broadcast except MOTD, the commercial channels don't always have streaming rights to US shows so really there's nothing You View or anyone else can do about this, perhaps they need to make their small print a bit bigger with regards to lack of availability for some shows

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Hang on.

That's exactly what it does do, but if a program isn't made available on catch-up TV by the broadcaster then there's bugger all that You View / Talk Talk / BT Vision can do about it

UK.gov chucks £28m at F1 tech for buses and diggers plan

Lazlo Woodbine

This has absolutely nothing to do with JCB Research being one of the biggest corporate donors to the Tory party

Chrome makes new password grab in version 34

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: @article author: reading comprehension FAIL

Also, does Chrome store your passwords in the cloud so you can access them from anywhere? While I certainly hope they don't, nothing would surprise me.

If you have browser sync enabled Chrome copies your favourites, and autocomplete to a hidden file in your Google Drive, then if you log into Chrome from a different computer your settings are copied to that browser.

I knew it did the favourites, but I wasn't aware it synced autocomplete until I installed Chrome on a new PC at the weekend.

I'm not sure if I like this idea or not, depends who secure the encryption is on Google Drive

Amazon stuffs games into Fire TV box: Soz, rivals... WE don't need to make cash on hardware

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: "but all of your video is stored in the Amazon cloud."

Depends on the speed of your broadband.

I've got 8mbits and I can stream HD from lovefilm on one TV and SD iPlayer through a Roku box on another TV and do general surfing on my phone via wifi usually without any problems.

I should add that I'm two miles from the exchange and most of my neighbours use the same telco (talk talk unfortunately as they're the only unbundled ISP on our exchange)

Driver drama delays deep desert XP upgrade

Lazlo Woodbine

"After years of installing Linux on all sorts of hardware I've never had any problems such as you describe - just install a mainstream distro.!"

mmm, Ubuntu, Mint, Debian, OpenSuSE, Red Hat, Puppy - many of those are mainstream, and not one of them would allow the install of the Broadcom driver for the WiFi card in my netbook. OpenSuSE and Debian wouldn't even find the driver, that's probably because it's not open source, but I thought the open source community was the answer to all our problems and stuff would "Just Work"...

Lazlo Woodbine

"Clearly not, because Linux would have "just worked". :)"

You sure about that, I've tried half a dozen flavours of Linux and have yet to find one that will install the driver for the wi-fi card in my Dell netbook. This is really annoying because the netbook is dog slow with XP and Windows 7, but is quite nippy with the LXDE versions of Linux, but without a functioning wi-fi card it's useless

Dimwit hackers use security camera DVRs as SUPER-SLOW Bitcoin-mining rig

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Surprise!

Pretty much every embedded DVR I've ever worked with runs on Linux of one kind or another. There were some early Honeywell models that ran something that looked like Windows CE, but I only ever saw a couple of these units.

Most of the higher end server based DVR systems do use Windows Server. If they're running Milestone Corporate or Genetec software they'll be dual CPU units with quad or 8-core Xeons and upwards of 16gb RAM. Hijacking one of these beasts would be useful...

Gr8, it's the new M8! Ideal for that celebrity funeral selfie

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Another shiny HTC, another poor camera

It's not all about megapixels you know. Use the same size sensor with 4mp & 20mp and I'm willing to bet the 4mp sensor will give a better image quality.

Besides, just how big an image do you want to upload to Instagram & Facebook, considering both services downsample all images.

The Reg's desert XP-ocalypse aversion plan revealed

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: An e-mail client?

Not so sure about the email client, these are public access computers so surely all email would be web-based.

+1 for paint.net, it's a brilliant little image editor

+1 for notepad++

QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

Lazlo Woodbine

Never mind the cost of upgrading vending machines, who's going to pay for my new trolly token?

China's annual TV smear segment drags Nikon's name through the mud

Lazlo Woodbine

I thought Nikon had solved the dust on the D600 sensor problem by rush releasing the D610 in the hope that people forgot about the old model.

John Lewis to respray with coat of Oracle ERP: Don't worry, we won't be 'wall to wall' Larry

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Colour me dubious

"incompatible schemas between legacy system 1..N and the destination system"

I worked one place were we installed Red Prairie WMS on an Oracle DB, that was to interface with an existing Syspro OMS. Syspro refused to allow Red Prairie to directly interface with their database, so the only way we could get orders out of Syspro into Red Praire was to have Syspro drop a text file of the order into a shared folder and have Red Prairie check every 30 seconds for new text files.

That system did work eventually, but we had 6 months of pain before it was in any way reliable

Lazlo Woodbine

Good luck to them

At my last place we had a 20 year old software system that had first been used in a timber merchants, had then been customised for the spares department of a car dealership round the corner, then we used it to manage warehouse &nationwide branch stocks for a distribution sompany.

Everything ran well, but slowly, with maybe a requirement for 15-20% additional monthly stocks to cover for poor forecasting in the software.

Then we were bought by a US Globocorp who decided we absolutely had to use their SAP software, which was built for a manufacturing division of the corporation, not for warehousing & distribution, but blind to our objections it was shoehorned into place, and on 1st Jan 2011 the switch was flicked and we started to run SAP.

We had to pretty much right-off January that year, as customers left us in droves in favour of suppliers who could process orders and deliver goods.

Customers who stayed found that once goods arrived, if they were lucky in the same week as they ordered, rather than the normal next day, they didn't see any invoices for months, which was nice for a while, but a bugger when 6 months worth arrived all at once.

Over all I'd say that SAP was a total failure, and the business still hasn't recovered

Office Online rises from ashes of 'confusing' Office Web Apps

Lazlo Woodbine

They gave me an extra 3tb with the rebrand, so that's 28tb I've got so far.

You need a Microsoft account, but they don't seem to be too upset about me using a Gmail address to set it up

NASA's orbiting space-broadband probe LADEE beams back Moon snaps

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: @ Lesley Woodlouse

I am on a rooftop, using Hugo's Windows 28 tablet that Barry brought back from the 24th Century

Lazlo Woodbine

I wonder if the "Kamikaze dive" will be aimed at the Jade Rabbit

This THREESOME is a HANDFUL: It’s the Asus Transformer Book Trio

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Linux

"Ever wonder how all those netbooks got new distos installed - LiveUSB"

Yep, I know of those things, and I've got a couple of laptops running Linux off them, but I've also got a sense of humour, which you obviously haven't...

Lazlo Woodbine

Re: Linux

On a purely practical point, there's no optical drive on these babies, so where's the LiveCD going to fit?

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