* Posts by 2+2=5

968 posts • joined 21 Jan 2014

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You're alone in a room with the Windows 10 out-of-the-box apps. What do you do?

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Joke

Notepad...

Add vi and Emacs modes

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Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

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Re: Menu ?

Starter: "Appletizer"

Main: "Pork and Apple sauce"

Dessert: "Apples and custard"

All top notch ingredients.

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Holy macaroni! After months of number-crunching, behold the strongest material in the universe: Nuclear pasta

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Re: Units?

I wondered why the units were CGS rather than SI? Is it just convention for this area of work?

Edit: I see later an AC has helpfully provided the conversion. Ta.

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Redis does a Python, crushes 'offensive' master, slave code terms

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Re: Wow

> Thus "master chart" has become "umbrella chart" in one instance.

You'd need to be a real umbrella mind to come up with that synonym.

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The grand-plus iPhone is the new normal – this is no place for paupers

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Re: Homework

"iPhone 8 prices started at £699 or £849"

Well which is it? It a price can't "start at" two values!

It's one of those weird, quantum probablistic effects.

The phone comes with a free cat in the box. When you open the box you find out whether the cat is alive or dead. If the cat is dead then the extra £150 pays for the cat's funeral.

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Nope, the NSA isn't sitting in front of a supercomputer hooked up to a terrorist’s hard drive

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Re: How are they going to make sure the "enemy" buys back door kit?

> How are they going to make sure the "enemy" buys back door kit?

By giving the design to China to implement in everything.

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Microsoft Azure: It's getting hot in here, so shut down all your cores

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Follow the sun...

One time where 'follow the sun' isn't such a good idea!

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Archive.org's Wayback Machine is legit legal evidence, US appeals court judges rule

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> In other news...

You forgot to add: all criminals using a web site to perpetrate a scam, fraud etc will now include a check for the Way Back Machine's spider and deliver a subtly different set of pages with the intention of establishing an alibi.

The testimony from the office manager simply confirms that the Wayback Machine accurately archives what it receives - there is no guarantee that what it received is what the defendant, the prosecution or anyone else received.

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Space station springs a leak while astronauts are asleep (but don't panic)

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TITSUP ??

Tape Ingenuity Tackles Soyuz µ-meteorite Piercing

<I'll get my coat>

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Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

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Deed poll to the rescue

He can legally change his name, conduct the case and then change it back again. Or something.

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Time to party like it's 2005! Palm is coming BAAAA-ACK

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> At this rate, by 2020 we'll all be back to wearing pagers...

I'm wearing a pager as I write. It's around my ankle...

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Second-hand connected car data drama could be a GDPR minefield

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> Mind you for most RangeRovers the history would be, "owner drove to kids school and blocked up the roads around the school" x2 every school day.

And bonus points for showing they parked in the 'keep clear' / 'no waiting' zone.

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Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

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> On what grounds did the police force them to leave?

They didn't haven't their cardigans... cue Whitesnake 'In the chill (sic) of the night'

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How hack on 10,000 WordPress sites was used to launch an epic malvertising campaign

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It's incredibly difficult

The exact content users see depends on who they are, where they are, what device they're using and other variables. This makes it incredibly difficult for both publishers and ad networks to conclusively review every version of an advert for malicious content.

I don't see what the difficulty is. In the US, ad agencies are starting to be held liable for false advertising by their clients[1]. It is only a short step to hold them liable for distributing malware.

[1] https://www.retailconsumerproductslaw.com/2018/02/holding-agencies-accountable/

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Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway

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> Does it happen that your employer is either Citizen (in all caps) or Seiko?

Canon has a subsidiary that makes watches. Not sold much in Europe and US though. I have one which says, I kid you not, "sprit time" instead of "split time" on the stopwatch button.

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Shock Land Rover Discovery: Sellers could meddle with connected cars if not unbound

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GDPR to the rescue

> JLR needs a bullet-proof method for this to be automatically disconnected when the vehicle changes hands. I don't know how you do this but the current process is clearly not sufficient."

There is a bullet-proof method. It's called 'reminding' JLR that they can be fined up to 4% of global revenue because they are a data processor, processing personal information about you (your home address for starters) and allowing that information to be passed to an unknown 3rd party without your consent and without a clear business need.

If they don't act immediately you can also 'remind' them that you can start a private prosecution - no need to wait for the ICO to review and take up your case.

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Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

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clothes that bear the retailer's logo on the outside

That Peter Kay classic...

Fat girl wearing t-shirt emblazoned with logo: GUESS

PK: Thyroid problem?

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Another German state plans switch back from Linux to Windows

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Re: The problem is not Linux itself...

> Presumably also, "field workers and teleworkers" are absolutely not using unauthorised business-specific apps on their computers. So we are talking about standard office functionality, aren't we?

No, we're not necessarily talking about standard office functionality.

Consider a roads inspector out and about inspecting repairs or reporting on repairs required. Ideally he'll have a tablet (or at least a laptop) with access to mapping software showing underground utilities - pipes, power cables etc. so that he can cost-up the impact the proximity of utility infrastructure will have on the job there and then rather than later, back at the office, when there is no chance to go back and have a second look.

Historically that kind of software was Windows only - whether on a laptop or back in the office. Ironically for Lower Saxony, the ready availability of powerful tablets means that type of capability is now becoming tablet only, i.e. iOS and Android!

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Re: Lots of companies run Linux including Google

> Haven't heard "best of breed" in a while.

Best of breed is terminology taken from the dog show world. I think it means: if your software runs like a dog then it's in with a chance of being declared best of breed.

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From toothbrushes to coffee makers to computers: Europe fines Asus, Pioneer, Philips for rigging prices of kit

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Re: ?WTF?

> If a reseller is selling at a lower price, that is surely coming from the resellers cut, not from the manufacturers. So why should the manufacturer care?

It's easy to spring up a box-shifter company overnight on the web, sell until the market is saturated and profits collapse, then fuck off. By then, any reputable supplier online has gone out of business and the manufacturer no longer has any sales outlets online, let alone reputable ones.

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Form an orderly queue, people: 31,000 BT staff go to Openreach in October

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> BTW what's the point of giving 10 minutes for edits when the post doesn't appear for a lot longer than that?

They appear in 'my posts' immediately so you can always check there.

Thanks for the explanation about the IR enforced payment holiday - I hadn't heard that one before. I rather suspect though that the change in tax relief dealt the main blow - the low interest rates making it impossible to recover the situation (in a meaningful period of time).

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

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Happy

Re: IoT

> Ah, so you're a waffle man!

Waffles are the same as pancakes but ribbed for added pleasure.

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Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder

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Re: Bureaucracy fines bureaucracy, nothing changes

> It would be nice to think that somebody who was genuinely accountable had been held personally to account

It won't help because these kinds of mistake are too easy to make. Government departments (and companies, really) should be required to deploy email clients/servers/relays that refuse to send if there are more than 5 external addresses in either the To or cc fields.

Clearly there are people who need to send to more than 5 legitimately, but the software can have white lists for sending out (just as there are blacklists/junk lists for spam) so that a positive action is required to circumvent the idiot check.

Microsoft could, dare I say it, voluntarily provide such a facility as a corporate social responsibility thing.

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Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

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TITSUP

> The equipment was stored in two locked, unmarked Pelican brand cases. One case contained two Ludlum 3030 alpha/beta sample counters, one plutonium 239 check source, and one cesium 137 check source.

Total Inability To Secure Unmarked Plutonium

/Mine's the lead-lined one

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Geoboffins spot hundreds of ghost dunes on Mars

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Re: Someone's dangled their modifier!

> How big was the US Capitol Building billions of years ago?

The Capitol Building existed on Mars billions of years ago ?!?

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I see you're trying to leak a file! US military seeks Clippy-like AI to stop future Snowdens

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TOP SECRET

TOP SECRET

The pic of the GI holding the file... it needs a bit of photoshopping to add another sticker at the bottom, saying:

BOTTOM SECRET

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Open plan offices flop – you talk less, IM more, if forced to flee a cubicle

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Re: What about disturbing others?

> I would happily shoot the sociopaths who think they have the right to share their conversations, thoughts and phone calls with the whole damn floor...

Do you take contracts? There's a 'foghorn leghorn' in my office that needs dealing with. I'd send you the address but you can probably hear him anyway...

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Who fancies a six-core, 32GB RAM, 4TB NVME ... convertible tablet?

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Re: Interesting times

> I routinely gather 250-300 GB of uncompressed 6Mpixel resolution video data, which I then reduce to a single 100+ Mpixel lunar image.

So you're the one who keeps those NASA fake moon landing conspiracies running...

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Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

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Re: Red button woes

> Whats do you know our "Pisshy wee windows boxes" startup and run perfectly when power on.

An early aberration, soon corrected by Microsoft. ;-)

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Micro Focus offloads Linux-wrangler SUSE for a cool $2.5bn

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Re: Makes no sense

> The buyers might take the view that Red Hat being 18 times SUSE's size represents growth potential for SUSE.

And, as we all know, 2018 is the year of the Linux desktop so big opportunities await.

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RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

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I am read that if you wrote to the BBC back when the Clangers first aired, they'd send you a Xerox of the knitting pattern Peter Firmin's wife used to create the real ones. My Mum actually knitted me a Clanger earlierthus year from a hardback book based on the original patterns. I am 46 years old and not ashamed :-D

I (we - siblings) had a knitted Clanger as a child but I never found out where it came from. Now I wonder if an aunt knitted it!

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In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to slurp folks' location data

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Re: Gorsuch's dissent FTW.

> justices who will overturn Roe v Made.

You just wade that up!

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Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

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Re: "Norwegians are not good at using condoms."

Perhaps it's the cost that's the problem? They just need to be more afjordable.

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Intel CEO Brian Krzanich quits biz after fling with coworker rumbled

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Re: CV

> Have you been caught in flagante too?

CV = coitus volante = (I don't give) a flying fuck

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National ID cards might not mean much when up against incompetence of the UK Home Office

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> NI Number is already created (if not formally "issued") at birth, as anyone with children who have "Child Trust Funds" will no doubt have spotted that their child's unique reference number follows a suspiciously familiar alphanumeric pattern...

Yes. All children born in hospital get an NI created. As you say, 'they' try to tell you it doesn't happen until age 16 though. Which might be true for the <1% born at home.

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Re: UK Passports abroad are not that much fun either

> Oh and they delivered a passport with the wrong photograph in it.

That was meant to be delivered to Israel.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/mar/24/fco-british-visitors-israel-passport-warning

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UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

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> In addition, the CMA said it had sent warning letters to 14 other leading dating websites ...

They immediately got replies back saying that there are 5 other competition authorities in their area keen to meet them.

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Devuan ships second stable cut of its systemd-free Linux

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Re: Full name of the release

> No, UTF-8 is a encoding format, not a character set. For your joke to work you'd have to say you were waiting for the Unicode version. (And there would have to be an asteroid called Unicode).

D'oh. Now I feel a right EBCDIC-head!

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Full name of the release

> Devuan GNU+Linux 2.0 ASCII Stable

I think I'll wait for the UTF-8 version.

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At last: Magic Leap reveals its revolutionary techno-goggles – but wait, there's a catch

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Re: I have a question...

> No, that's teeth. Teeth will be provided.

Hen's teeth, no less. Two free with every shipping device.

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Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

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Blockchain - a future proofed bandwagon

The most remarkable thing about Blockchain in the fast moving world of IT bandwagons, is that its inventors had the foresight to incorporate a then future IT bandwagon - AI - into its very name. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: BlockchAIn

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Sysadmin's PC-scrub script gave machines a virus, not a wash

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Re: Should I be admitting to this?

> Should I be admitting to this? Well it was over 20 years ago in the 90s, surely nothing can come of it now.

> Was on an IT course back then and enjoyed it.

Pervert!

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Military brainboxes ponder 'UK needs you' list of AI boffins

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> Do you think it won't be used to target people based on ethnicity in the middle east?

I think the down vote was because there is quite a high likelihood of lasting peace in the Middle East long before a large, MoD-led weapons procurement project of this nature could be delivered.

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Good news: It's still legal for Apple to keep its MacBook, iPhone batteries from melting

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> The 'fix' is to find some non-lengthy-court-battle way for patents to be reviewed

A much quicker fix would be for the head of the patent office to forfeit a portion of his bonus for each patent overturned by a court. The more scathing the language used by the judge the bigger the forfeit. When (if) the bonus is exhausted then start on the next rung of management.

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You've got to be kitten: Vet recruiter told to pay £1k after pinching info from ex-employer

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Sheepish

> The recruiter, no doubt feeling rather sheepish

Yeah, but until he got caught he was puffin out his chest about successfully aping his previous employers.

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Astronaut took camera on spacewalk, but forgot SD memory card

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Re: For those little things you forget, when you need them fast

> This is just screaming to be used in a tv advert for certain online retailers who offer (supposedly) same day delivery.

In space, no one can hear you scream.

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Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

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Headmaster

Re: The importance of backups...

> I always assume the Grammar Nazis are able to put a good looking sentence together, but don't actually understand the words they are writing.,

Oh, I'm sure they understand the words they are writing down, just not the sentence that results. :-)

Which is the perfect excuse to segue into a reminiscence: my first IT job was a student placement working for the Civil Service where one of the managers, a former chemistry teacher[*], so not especially versed in English, was able to write memoranda that were really quite beautiful in their prose and construction. Not overly long or flowery - just precise sentences that contained all that was required, smoothly flowing from one to the next. I was never able to achieve anything remotely so stylish back then, and certainly not now, where writing - proper writing - skills are no longer needed in IT.

[*] I once asked him why he gave up teaching and he said that the final straw was when a pupil asked him if urea was soluble.

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Greenwich uni fined £120k: Hole in computing school site leaked 20k people's data

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Cheapest stock photo ever...

Personal data lost, it's dreadful, no security, GDPR, should know better, yadda, yadda ... now on to the important bit.

That picture. It looks like the cheapest stock photo ever - no not the price that El Reg stumped up to use it - but the photographer / studio in setting it up. The gowns are made of such thin material I have to wonder if they came from Anne Summers' The Graduate Collection [*]

* No, I'm not going to search to see if such a thing really exists.

[icon: a proper coat ->]

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UK has rejected over 1,000 skilled IT bod visa applications this year

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Re: Use local

> I'm looking for two python developers of varying skill levels, and its impossible

What salary are you offering and what location, please?

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Software development slow because 'Most of our ideas suck'

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Over the past 20 years, he explained, "the lead time for delivering software has come down significantly. It used to take years. Now it's more like weeks. We have the opportunity to bring this lead time down further to days or hours."

My emphasis. So there you are: all waterfall developers from 20 years ago were incompetent; and all current Agile developers are lazy bastards because you're taking weeks when days are all that is required.

It must be true - Mike Roberts said so.

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