* Posts by 2+2=5

758 posts • joined 21 Jan 2014

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Disgraced Entatech founder Jason Tsai tossed in the clink for contempt of court

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Joke

Re: A Taiwanese law firm calling itself “Just Good Lawers”

> Maybe Trump could hire these guys ?

Yeah, on a no-win, no covfefe basis

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Expect the Note 8 to break the bank (and your wallet)

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Facepalm

Re: Extra buttons

Of the functions I would like to assign to an extra hard-button, a digital assistant wouldn't make the list. The humble flashlight would probably be top. Camera. Dictaphone.

"Hey Siri, turn on the torch"

"Sorry, but I'm not able to change that setting"

Sigh. It's like playing Poohsticks with stones.

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Volterman 'super wallet': The worst crowdsource video pitch of all time?

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Coat

Amazing.

I can't believe some numb nuts have backed this. They must think owning one gives you 45 minute sex skills.

Numb nuts is probably how he manages 45 minutes.

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Feature snatcher Microsoft tweaks OneDrive

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Unhappy

Re: Sharepoint and OneDrive

> One is structured so that once something is put in it, you are guaranteed never to find it again while the other one is not. The latter is called OneDrive.

One is structured so that every time someone in the office needs to set up a new site, they do so in a slightly different way to all other sites that your organisation might have.

Also, the structured one is fully searchable: results come back 10 at a time though so paging through a couple of thousand hits is impossible.

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UK mobile number porting creaks: Arcane system shows its age

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Re: Why oh why etc.

Surely it's time for the UK to have a Mobile "Transco/Network Rail" that owns all the infrastructure and data and the "carriers" could just be billing agents? As well as sorting this load of old b*ll*cks it'd mean that we'd have consistent carriage over networks and could plan future enhancements in a meaningful way.

Yes, a good idea. It would help if this new organisation covered fixed-line porting as well, so we shouldn't use the word 'mobile' in their name. Perhaps it should be named something like the General Call Handling and Querying company or GCHQ for short?

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China's 'future-proof' crypto: We talk to firm behind crazy quantum key distribution network

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Re: Shared key?

@g0rg0r - thanks for taking the trouble to respond

If I understand you right, you are saying that the 'system' will know if the message has been intercepted. This may well be true - I can't tell from the article. But re-reading it, I know I am even more confused!

Firstly it's not clear if the quantum bit only applies to the transmission of the keys as opposed to the transmission of the subsequently encrypted message. I think it is keys only and the message can, in theory, be sent by any means.

Secondly, it didn't dawn on me until later that this is NOT a public key system. It's shared keys:

Alice then sends the K1-encrypted message and K3-encrypted checksum to Bob. Bob uses K1 to decrypt the message, and verifies it came from Alice by decrypting the checksum with K3 and recomputing it using the random number N they'd shared previously.

If Alice uses K1 and K3 to encrypt and Bob uses K1 and K3 to decrypt then this is nothing more than a fancy shared-key scheme.

It also means there is a backdoor because the control centre also knows K1, K3 and N so they can decrypt any message at any time. (Providing they can get a copy, of course.)

[Disclaimer: this is all based on the info in the article which may well be wrong. :-) ]

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WTF?

Shared key?

For our classic crypto couple Alice and Bob to communicate, they first must receive a secret random number, N, that will be used to help authenticate their interaction via any one of the control centres.

Erm. I might be missing something here but if the whole system relies on a securely delivered, shared random number N then you might just as well distribute a shared key, or a shared one-time pad.

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Stop all news – it's time for us plebs to be told about BBC paycheques!

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Talent

I find it odd the way these people are all referred to as 'talent': Graham Norton has talent whereas Huw Edwards is just a news reader.

A more useful metric might be to divide the salary by the viewing figures to get an idea of who's earning their keep or not.

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School of card knocks: Russophone criminals offered online courses in credit card fraud

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Joke

Sounds great...

> "In exchange for RUB 45,000 (£575, plus £150 for course fees),

Can I pay by credit card?

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Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

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Re: @Michael H.F. Wilkinson: Your thinking about it wrong...

not even close matey, can you imagine how boring it must be to have the job of sitting in front of a microphone all day and having to say "mind the doors" EXACTLY the same way just before the doors on the lift are about to close???

I can imagine...

Sheesh...

What! ... And you have to make the door closing noise as well? Bloody hell.

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

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Happy

Bootnotes?

El Reg, you're slipping! You should have put this one under 'transformation' rather than 'bootnotes'.

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Re: Overstated importance of fans

Indeed . I was raised in Canada and the CBC imported those early Dr. Who's. I grew up with those funky B&W cardboard Dialects

Geordie Daleks?

"EH UP EX-TER-MIN-ATE"

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Want to kill your IT security team? Put the top hacker in charge

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Speaking as a manager...

No one disputes that most of the readers of this website are techies rather than managers so many of the comments come from a techy point of view, that is from those subjected to management rather than practising it.

As a manager therefore, I feel that I can offer practical advice to you all ...

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GET BACK TO WORK NOW!!

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AI vans are real – but they'll make us suck at driving, warn boffins

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Re: The future:

> Much like people will spout vitriol in a forum or email (and even on social media, which has their name attached) that they would never consider saying in person, people will discard food/drinks/garbage in the floorboard of an autocab, and you will have people who take advantage of the "privacy" and leave behind traces of a more bodily type.

After each journey the cab will take itself off to a automatic car wash before picking up the next passenger. And if the outside of the cab is washed as well, then so much the better.

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Japan joins quantum space race with microsatellite demo

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Re: "space-to-ground entanglement" ?

> It's not really my area of expertise, but is this really "space-to-ground entanglement"?

No it's not, AFAICT. Reading the linked article, they seem to be (a) using the term quantum to mean that they can receive a signal so weak that only a single photon out of the burst sent for each data bit need be received in order to determine the value of that bit and (b) throwing in a reference to entanglement as science researcher click bait. What they are NOT doing is using entanglement to transmit / receive the signal.

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Microsoft drops Office 365 for biz. Now it's just Microsoft 365. Word

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Re: As if they didn't have enough

> "Subscription Katalogue Units"

> I read that as "Subscription Kafkesque Units".

Subscription Kellogg Units - nice and crisp to start but they soon turn into a soggy mess as MS milks them

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Bloke takes over every .io domain by snapping up crucial name servers

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It was predicted by Arthur C. Clarke...

ALL THESE WORLDS NAME SERVERS ARE YOURS—EXCEPT .EUROPA

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European MPs push for right to repair rules

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Joke

> A smartphone should be as fixable as a refrigerator

Oh great, now Samsung have started glueing the lamp inside the fridge into place.

/Be careful what you wish for

Other way around: smartphones will be fixable but they'll be the size of a refrigerator.

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Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

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Re: Missing matter

> I keep hoping we can get rid of "Dark Energy" and replace it with a new theory of gravitation.

Yep, and I name that new theory "Dark Gravitation".

Fame is now mine - just need someone else to work out the small details. I thank-you.

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Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

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WTF?

Shirley...

Surely Microsoft's product management people have realised that Skype is a comms engine behind a user interface? And that they could easily release two versions of the app, perhaps with development code names 'youth' and 'business' that use the same comms engine but provide different features.

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Brit prosecutors ask IT suppliers to fight over £3 USB cable tender

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Thumb Up

Re: Whose name is on it?

> Whose name is on it?

> Name, shame and fire.

No, quite the opposite. The person who raised this is clearly frustrated at being prevented from doing their job by the mass of petty bureaucratic rules being taken to the extreme, and has done so as a protest.

There needs to be some citizen awarded gongs - the anti-Queen's Honours perhaps - that can be given to people like this.

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One thought equivalent to less than a single proton in mass

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Boffin

Re: Confused units

The Register wonders how many Katie Hopkins columns it would take to amass a single unit?

The units are indeed confused. Katie Hopkins columns are so insubstantial they actually have no mass at all. The appropriate unit to use therefore is the 'nat' from Shannon information theory, as her columns convey precisely zero information.[1]

[1] Although they may leak information about herself.

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Robots will enable a sustainable grey economy

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Unhappy

Re: Dumb yanks

It might be dirty and slow, but at least London has viable public transport. In Bristol we only have buses, and they're bloody terrible. They're expensive (more than London), slow (slower than walking a lot of the time), infrequent, dangerous, and rarely go where you need.

You think Bristol's busses are dangerous? Try Reading's.

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How to avoid getting hoodwinked by a DevOps hustler

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Re: If they’re a 'DevOps Expert', they probably aren’t

> Has anyone figured out what devops is yet?

Yes.[1]

Before devops, whenever developers completed a new app, it was put into Live by a process formally known as "throwing it over the wall". Occasionally you heard a howl of pain as it landed on someone and that was the only way you knew it had gone live (save for the bug reports!).

After devops, developers were kindly requested to shout "look out!" before throwing the app over the wall. In some really advanced companies, the ops guys come through a gate in the wall and collect the app. Maybe even hang around a bit to sit in on a stand up and hear how wonderful the app is from the developers themselves.

[1] Warning, may contain factually inaccurate statements, wild assumptions and some channeling of Verity Stob

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Virus (cough, cough, Petya) goes postal at FedEx, shares halted

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Unhappy

Re: Well, MAYBE this will get their attention

> Well, I can dream, can't I?

Hah. The bean counters are probably admiring the speed at which the virus was 'delivered' around the world and wishing they could somehow copy it to make Fedex just as fast!

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Ever wondered why the universe only has black holes in S or XXXL? No? Boffins have an answer

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Re: Black Holes are just like grocery stores...

> Can corner shops grow by accreting customers?

Yes. Accreted customers are often seen in Walmart, ergo corner shops grow into Walmarts. QED!!

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Hot news! Combustible Galaxy Note 7 to return as 'Galaxy Note FE'

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WTF?

"reFurb Edition" ??

Since Samsung had a worldwide recall, is the FE simply a recalled phone refurbished with a replacement battery (slightly smaller to avoid the stress that caused them to go bang previously)?

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Tanks for the memories: Building a post-Microsoft Office cloud suite

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Re: I miss the days when it was just email!

> I now need Slack, Skype, WhatsApp all setup on every PC. I'm sure I've missed something.

https://xkcd.com/1810/

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Northern Ireland bags £150m for broadband pipes in £1bn Tory bribe

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Re: What a Muck Up...

> This situation seems to becoming more farcical by the week.

Not at all. These negotiations between the Government and the DUP have provided useful practice and now a hard, determined, steely woman will be going to Brussels to fight the UK's cause. Congratulations, Arlene, on your forthcoming appointment as Chief UK Brexit Negotiator.

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Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

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Happy

There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

I get a 'brave boy' sticker each time I go to the dentist and it definitely helps!

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WikiLeaks doc dump reveals CIA tools for infecting air-gapped PCs

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Re: Hacked the snack machine and stole $4K of goodies.

> How many times was the thing restocked without adequate income from it?

How many times were decent, hard-working service technicians sacked on suspicion of theft because the CIA office staff were, of course, above suspicion?

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Queen's speech announces laws to protect personal data

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Re: "And what about being offline and not risking to die in a building that caught fire?"

> ie is cladding a cheap alternative to getting rid of eyesores or is it actually useful as external insulation?

Yes, it does have a benefit as insulation - both heating in Winter and cooling in Summer as it is more reflective than the original pebble-dash on concrete. Putting it over 'rockwool' [1] would provide even more insulation, as has been done to some other towers.

[1] There is both 'rockwool' and 'rockwall' available and the pronunciation of various UK newsreaders is not clear enough to be sure which they are referring to.

My gut feel is that the 'rockwool' towers are going to be just as fire prone as Grenfell though, *if* there are also polyethylene panels fitted over the top.

I expect the outcome of the official inquiry will be to recommend that similar cladding on other towers be removed/replaced but not to insist on retro-fitting of sprinklers. (It is already mandatory for new build towers to have sprinklers.)

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Unhappy

Re: WHat I want to see in a digital rights bill

> I'd like to see actual laws that clearly state what people get when they buy a license.

It's a good idea. The only problem with it is that you are proposing it at least 20 years too early. It takes that long for an understanding of how technology is used by the great unwashed to sink into our elected representatives.

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Microsoft admits to disabling third-party antivirus code if Win 10 doesn't like it

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Re: Linux "pushers" again

> None of the software you've listed has all the functionality of MS Office in one package.

Very true. Equally true is that I've never yet met a company that uses all the functionality of MS Office.

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Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver THOUSANDS of grocery orders

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I detect a sixth sense

I suppose you're in seventh heaven now?

No - no After Eights delivered.

[After Eights - so called because after eight of them you feel sick.]

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The Internet of Flying Thing: Reg man returns with explicit shots

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Re: Spot the part modified for modern times!

There appear to be two modern parts. And if you can tell black from beige then they're pretty easy to spot.

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Brit uni blabs students' confidential information to 298 undergrads

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> Save it, examine it, act on it. What else?

Get infected by the virus, of course. :-)

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Scottish govt mulled scrapping £178m car-crash IT system

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Re: "the programme has not delivered value for money"

> See also Scottish Parliament and Edinburgh Trams.

At least 5 years ago, I was in Edinburgh just before the Festival and saw a poster for a fringe comedy show called "The Silence of the Trams"

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Virtual reality audiences stare straight ahead 75% of the time

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Re: The problem with 360 VR

> It seems like eg. an on-foot chase scene would be exceedingly tiresome to watch - having to keep glancing back to see where the chaser is, instead of having the camera keep doing that cut automatically for you as they do now...

Don't forget that the foot chase as featured in most 70's detective stories inevitably features a lithe, 19yo perp, more than able to give Usain Bolt a run for his money, versus a lardy detective - typically Frank Cannon[1]. Invariably the perp would set off at an enormous speed, build a huge lead, only to mysteriously lose it all simply by turning into a side alley[2] as the next edit would show the detective having nearly caught up.

[1] Cannon regularly did this. But even Ironside had one episode where he gave chase in his wheelchair.

[2] Said side-alley is also required to contain a pile of empty cardboard boxes to crash into and trash cans to pull over in front of the pursuers.

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Fighter pilot shot down laptops with a flick of his copper-plated wrist

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Re: not necessarily

> Placebo effect - Better results from ingestion of two sugar pills compared to one

There's an equivalent for opera lovers: it's called the Placebo Domingo effect.

<I'm here all week and I'm thinking of making a Carreras out of this>

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ICO fines Morrisons for emailing customers who didn't want to be emailed

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Happy

Re: Sainsbury's did worse

> I considered getting heavy with them, but instead I set an email filter to forward all Sainbury's emails back to Sainsbury's, with the hope that they would automatically acknowledge receiving each one.

I think a 'modern' equivalent would be to auto-tweet @Sainsburys: "Congratulations Sainsburys. You've just committed a breach of Regulation 22 of The Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations, 2003. Enjoy your fine.

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BAE accused of flogging mass-spying toolkits to assh*le autocrats

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Big Brother

Re: "It works with keywords"

> By 'eck, but that's a bloody clever bit of software! So I just type in "Ali bin Mohammed" and it not only knows which one I mean, but can link it to his El Reg user account where he calls himself "Princess Alice", and his Facebook a/c where he's "Mad Gordon III"

Yes, more or less. It will initially show many Ali bin Mohammed's but for each of them, it will show a network of connectivity to people emailed, people who viewed his social media sites and so on. It won't take long to work out which one is the the one they are interested in.

If you have just two friends who know that you are 'Pen-y-gors' here and 'Princess Alice' elsewhere, the fact that they periodically check both sites creates a link between the two. The more people that know, the stronger the link becomes. Just half-a-dozen in the know creates a situation where it becomes extremely unlikely that Pen-yGors and Princess Alice are not related, and the most likely relationship is that the author is the same, or at least there is the same editorial controller for both pseudonyms.

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Sorry to burst your bubble, but Microsoft's 'Ms Pac-Man beating AI' is more Automatic Idiot

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Joke

Re: I don't see problem with hard-coded knowldge

> Even human babies(more so in animal babies) come with a large collection of knowledge hard-coded in their DNAs, what's wrong with that?

Babies come with remarkably few 'hard-coded' or instinctive responses. From observation of my own son, I remember only 4 behaviours that were there from birth and not learnt. They were: the ability to laugh or giggle, sneeze, cry and twist his mum around his little finger.

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French firm notches up 50km unmanned drone inspection flight

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Flame

Re: Flight Corridor

> Electricity Network operators seem to be creative geniuses.

Creative geniuses or completely mad as in this case.

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Oh snap! Election's made Brexit uncertainty worse for biz, says BT CEO

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Re: Stability, certainty?

> 4) preferably buy next Wednesday.

I'd quite like to own Wednesday too. I'd declare 'Wexit' and negotiate a trading alliance with the weekend.

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From landslide to buried alive: Why 2017 election forecasts weren't wrong

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> I've never been canvassed for an opinion either when exiting a polling station or at any time beforehand

Neither have I. But then I live in a constituency with a large Tory majority so there is little point - a 30% swing against the Tories would be required to unseat him.

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Cabinet Office minister Gummer loses seat as Tory gamble backfires

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Trollface

Re: What a mess...

> How could May have got it so wrong? Idiot.

...

> At least Corbyn isn't PM. But he is still a liability.

Idiots and liabilities the lot of 'em. Please would you come out from behind your cloak of anonymity, stand for election yourself and save us.

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Russian hackers and Britney Spears in one story. Are you OK, Reg?

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Happy

There is a silver lining...

Presumably any outbreak of this malware could be stopped simply by taking down Britney's Instagram account?

Ob. quote of appropriate song title: Til It's Gone

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

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Re: SlaveMart

'on the way home' would be illegal in the UK regarding driver working hours - you can't work an 8 hour shift and then become a delivery driver without the required break. (The break has to be non-work, not just non-driving).

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UK trigger-happy over fines for data breaches compared with Europe

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Can someone please clarify...

> However, under the the General Data Protection Regulation, which will come into force in May 2018, the penalties for a data breach will either be €20m (£17m) or 4 per cent of global annual revenue, whichever is highest.

I keep seeing this stated unchallenged. Does the GDPR really say that if a small one man band organisation leaks just one customer's private information then they will be fined 20m Euro?

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