* Posts by 2+2=5

706 posts • joined 21 Jan 2014

Page:

Capita payments service Pay360 goes TITSUP

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: Double whammy.

>Incident affecting the payment of fines - CHECK

I bet the system for sending out threatening letters for late payment still works perfectly.

:-(

16
0

IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

2+2=5
Silver badge

We are experiencing unexpected call volumes at the moment

"We are experiencing unexpected call volumes at the moment."

Aaaaarggh! I so hate that particular lie.

0
0

Man sues date for cinema texting fiasco, demands $17.31

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: This guy is about to become a legend

> I predict Brandon will have great difficulty getting dates in the future, once word of his "high standards" gets around.

He could always change his name to Sheldon Cooper.

4
0

Newbies Komprise hope to krush data sprawl

2+2=5
Silver badge
Thumb Down

> If those savings numbers are real this will have legs

The figures in the costs table don't make sense.

The 'primary storage' entry has vanished from the Komprise column. Does that mean they are proposing that servers have no local SAN storage and it all comes over an Internet connection from Amazon? Interesting latency challenge if so.

And no backup storage costs? If there is no 'primary' storage cost any more then the implication is that there is no longer an on-prem copy of the data, just a single copy of the data in the cloud. A single copy is a single copy with all the risk that entails: I wouldn't trust the cloud provider not to go bankrupt or screw up.

More answers required from them, I feel.

0
0

Robot lands a 737 by hand, on a dare from DARPA

2+2=5
Silver badge
Facepalm

Recursive piloting

How long before this robot is sat on the ground 'flying' a machine that is 'flying' a drone?

3
0

Microsoft's Windows 10 ARM-twist comes closer with first demonstration

2+2=5
Silver badge

Business case

Imagine for a moment, that you are a first year business studies student being asked to write an essay on the business logic behind this move. You might start by thinking "MS must have a master plan - this will somehow turn into a super profitable business unit that restores the company's fortunes." And then you start thinking as to what that business unit might be. And you wonder a bit more... and a bit more... and a bit more.

Bluntly, what possible benefit does MS get by being able to run Windows on ARM? So they can ditch Intel at some point? Why would they do that? Chip performance is a pendulum: Intel might not be the best at the moment but in a few years the situation could be reversed and they'll want to move off ARM.

It seems like another case of "because we can" and "because we can't think of anything better".

1
2
2+2=5
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Microsoft's Windows 10 ARM-twist comes closer with first demonstration

> Those of us with memories longer than the current crop of MS management will remember MS showing Windows 7 + Office + an Epson printer driver recompiled for ARM running perfectly well

And before that, in the mid-90's, MS had NT4.0 running on PowerPC and DEC Alpha. In fact the reference to NTDLL immediately made me think they had dusted-off the original code and replaced the PowerPC code with ARM assembly.

1
0

Beeb hands £560m IT deal to Atos. Again

2+2=5
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Fun with statistics

> You've never been through one of atos's "medical fitness for work exams have you ?

Neither had many of the people Atos found fit for work.

8
0

$6,000 for tours of apocalyptic post-Brexit London? WTF, NYT?

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: For a real post brexit apocalypses

> Send them to Liverpool though I can't see much changing pre and post brexit.

I'm sorry, but Americans are only allowed to visit Liverpool as part of tours that have the words "The Beatles" or "Beatlemania" in their titles. "Post Brexit Apocalypse" doesn't count.

11
0

US Air Force networks F-15 and F-22 fighters – in flight!

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: "That's a huge pod. In a day when cellphones are a couple of ounces, why is that so big?"

> Good question. Possible explanations would be.

> 1)Chose a standard size pod and

I'm guessing it's still a test system so a standard pod is being used. The requirement to use a standard pod is not the size but the known aerodynamic behaviour.

Once the tests are done, they'll make a decision on what to throw out internally to make space and it will be mounted internally. (Presumably what will go is the existing radio which the new system will replace as well as providing networking.)

6
0

IBM: Remote working is great! ... For everyone except us

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Coffee Shops?

> time flie by and you suddenly find that several hours have passed.

That often happens to me whenever I lean back in the chair and close my eyes briefly to better concentrate on my response to that important email.

[Joke icon just in case my employer should ever get the impression that it might happen for real. Which it doesn't. Not at all.]

6
0

Of mice and migrations: How a rodent's DNA maps to architectural complexity

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: More complex than a mouse...?

> A group of humans built that IT system. I think it might be a while before a similarly-sized group of humans manages to build a complex, multi-cellular organism like a mouse.

The IT system wasn't built, it was more likely thrown together more or less randomly, evolving over time according to the demands of the business. The mouse genome, on the other hand...

8
0

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

The red pill

Doesn't taking the red pill mean that you've decided to buy Oracle?

5
0

iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

> Are trademark applications expensive?

I rather like the idea of trying to register the original pear logo but with the words "Utter shit" underneath just for the pleasure of watching Apple's lawyers having to claim that people might confuse "Apple" and "Utter Shit".

22
0
2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Does anyone remember ...

> They discoloured quickly though. The beige plastic would brown up after a year or so. Dread to think what they'd look like in a smokers house.

Less brown?

1
1

LinkedIn U-turns on Bluetooth-enabled 'Tinder for marketers'

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Update

> an update that billed itself as only offering "general bug fixes and performance improvements".

Perfectly true. They just 'forgot' to mention that the 'performance' in question is LinkedIn's financial performance.

FWIW, 99.9% of all the spam that I'm receiving at the moment comes to the address I used for LinkedIn.

2
0

Shooting org demands answers from Met Police over gun owner blab

2+2=5
Silver badge

> 2) [...] The the criminals would presumably prefer to obtain semi-automatic handguns.

The criminals would presumably prefer nuclear bombs as then they could just blackmail the Government for billions? But, in the mean time, I expect they'll settle for whatever they can get.

> 3) The guns will probably be locked in a safe anyway.

Phew, good thing that criminals can't open safes then.

> You don't often hear about legally held guns being stolen - even from gun shops or shooting clubs, the location of which is widely advertised.

Members of gun clubs don't always store their guns at the club. Also, the security requirements for guns stored in unattended premises are very strict. Much easier to steal a gun from a gun owner's house.

3
0

Silicon Valley tech CEO admits beating software engineer wife, offered just 13 days in the clink

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Cuberon

> What was the name of that company he's currently CEO of?

There's no point sacking him - Uber will welcome him with open arms.

5
0

'Nobody's got to use the internet,' argues idiot congressman in row over ISP privacy rules

2+2=5
Silver badge

Senator shows his savvy.

The Senator has just given a master class in savvy. Not tech savvy, but political savvy.

He's asked a tough question on privacy. He 'non-answers' it by making a semi-random, nonsense statement regarding the Internet to which there's an entirely predictable reaction and the original question - plus his evasiveness - gets forgotten. A perfect example of how to manipulate an audience.

Go back and ask him when he will be starting public tours of his house, and can you visit just before he goes to the loo in case it smells a bit afterwards?

1
0

How their GDPR ignorance could protect you from your denial

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: Conflict of legal requirements ?

> Which takes priority - legal requirements to keep records or legal requirements to delete records ?

Where there is existing legislation that introduces a legal requirement to retain data, some of which may count as personal, then the GDPR will be cognizant of it: either it will specifically remove or amend the relevant clauses in the previous legislation; or it will state that the GDPR does not apply in those circumstances.

Often, companies introduce a *policy* of retaining data for N years, which gets corrupted into "It's a legal requirement to retain this data for N years" as old staff leave and new staff join. As always, the correct course of action is to make it your manager's problem by letting them know. :-)

HTH

4
0

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

2+2=5
Silver badge
Pint

Seven pints

Is no one going to challenge the 7 pints figure?

:-)

3
0

Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

2+2=5
Silver badge

Choice of parts

> or a member of the baying crowd

Welease Bwian!

3
0

Steppe thugs pacified by the love of stone age women

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

An interesting education article

An interesting, educational article requires a sensible response ... from someone other than me.

> amnaya warriors belonging to raiding parties married local Stone Age women in Neolithic Europe, settling and adopting an agrarian lifestyle. During this process a Proto-Germanic language and the Corded Ware Culture was formed.

Corduroy jackets and trousers were invented in the Neolithic!! Who knew!

3
0

Alabama man gets electrocuted after sleeping with iPhone

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: ...make him mentally oblong.

> What shape does he normally think he is?

Sausage

2
0

Power plant cyber threat: Lock up your ICSs and SCADAs

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Product placement

> Intel agencies are warning that ...

I see your product placement. ;-)

2
0

Yee-hacked! Fired Texan sysadmin goes rogue, trashes boot business

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: "Given the boot"

I wonder if he'd had previous spats with his employers?

14
0

How to leak data from an air-gapped PC – using, er, a humble scanner

2+2=5
Silver badge

> Over the course of less than half a day we figured out the code for the door...

Interesting as the sister-in-law worked for a bank at one of their cheque processing centres and not only was the door code an individual pin (linked to a badge that had to be swiped as well), but the code only worked during your shift times. While super-secure, it had the unfortunate side-effect when staff swapped shifts and the team lead forgot to inform 'the system', you could go out for a fag break and not be able to get back in again. :-)

1
0

Your internet history on sale to highest bidder: US Congress votes to shred ISP privacy rules

2+2=5
Silver badge
Pirate

Re: Scramble

Agreed. Most fun might be a variation on those bullshit-bingo generators from a few years back. Start with a list of pharmaceutical companies, then a list of their drugs and lastly a list of a few hundred medical conditions. Then issue searches for random combinations of the three.

1
0

As of today, iThings are even harder for police to probe

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: No Siri, I said 'googly'

> A cricket-savvy digital PA? I'll believe it when I hear it.

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey.

5
0

UK Home Sec: Give us a snoop-around for WhatApp encryption. Don't worry, we won't go into the cloud

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: EU tender rules

> I'll put a tender in to manage the hashtags and because of inherent efficiencies of my organisation which commercial confidentiality precludes me from disclosing here I can offer to manage the hashtags for £1.5m a month.

I'll counter-bid with £15m per month, with a promise to reduce costs in a year's time to just £10m per month.

My bid will win because, in a year's time, a minister will be able to say that he's 'saved' £5m a month.

7
0

Dishwasher has directory traversal bug

2+2=5
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Bewildered. (That's grown-up speak for "wtf")

> I already have a THINGS VLAN and a SEWER VLAN for devices

Upvote for the vLAN names.

I'm thinking [1] of writing a firewall module for OpenWRT or similar that can be configured with the details of IoT devices and selectively buggers with their packets. So a connected telly will find that it can download the program guide perfectly, but when it tries to upload viewing statistics the packet contents get randomised, or sent in the wrong order etc.

[1] Which means I'll never find the time to learn how to do it, but I throw the idea out here in case anyone else wants to have a go. :-)

5
0

UK.gov confirms it won't be buying V-22 Ospreys for new aircraft carriers

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: 'two helicopter-style fans mounted on the ends of its wings'

> I have no idea what you mean. Ahem. There were never any fans here.

Obligatory XKCD.

2
0

MPs slam 'dismal' cost savings of government procurement body

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Why am I not surprised?

> calls into question exactly how willing government departments are to accept the authority of the Cabinet Office in this area

Procurement in Government is a bureaucratic nightmare at the best of times. Adding another layer just adds, well, another layer. :-)

Order 20,000 BIC biros at 0.5p each and 8 weeks later a helpful someone from purchasing will send an email saying they managed to source 18,000 EWIs ('equivalent writing implements', aka goose feather quills) at 0.4999p each. But you'll have to buy your own ink. And a farm for the geese.

14
0

TRAPPIST-1's planets are quiet. Quiet as the grave, in fact

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: "tidal locking" seems like a pretty big problem if you want to live there.

> Or at all. They are 40 light years away and Star Trek isn't a reality TV series.

But just imagine: if Star Trek tech were a reality, not only could we go there but they would speak English as well.

11
0

Calling your redundancy programme Baccarat? Immense Bummer, Management

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

They called it Baccarat...

They called it Baccarat because senior management told HR to sack a load of people and HR replied "Yes Sir, I can boogie..."

10
0

Hutch's Three UK users ripping through over 6GB a month

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: The fixed line ISP is going the way of the fixed line telephone

BT announced last year that PSTN (and ISDN) lines will cease by 2025. I would expect any mobile operator worth its salt to use FUD around that announcement to persuade people to become cable-cutters. So in answer to your question: yes, I think it is very likely that landlines have plateaued.

0
0

Murder in space: NASA orders astronauts to KILL cripples – then fire bodies back to Earth

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Most expensive pointless biology experiment ever?

> And yes, there was/is a control group on the ground, being kept in the same conditions except for the gravity.

But did the poor buggers on the ground have to listen to Tim Peake's broadcasts as well?

0
0

Airplane bomb fears spark America's laptop, tablet carry-on ban

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: or stowed in the hold

> "Targeting with electronic devices" could mean a lot of things. Like trying to figure out ways to meddle with relevant on-board system by either using vulnerabilities or modified devices that emit ridiculous electromagnetic radiation.

I agree with you 100%. The only problem is that there is no need to fly to the US in order to test out this kind of device. Any route with the same kind of aircraft would work equally well.

1
1

Google promises policy review after several big brands pull YouTube ads

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: The interesting part is the matching algo

> Curious minds would like to know, what idiot coded an algorithm which matched an ISIS rant and Guardian membership advert in anything but in jest

You forget that all advertising algorithms, no matter how clever, ultimately fall back on "as a last resort we'll push any old ad rather than none at all" when they can't target more accurately.

[Missing a dollar signs icon]

2
0

US military's latest toy set: Record-breaking laser death star, er, truck

2+2=5
Silver badge

> Imagine 100+ drones each with 10 pounds of C4 converting on one of these targets. We'd have nothing that could respond in time (that I know of).

If these laser weapons were deployed as you suggest then the adversary would simply need to send 100+ drones covered with small mirrors. No actual weaponry required for people on the ground to be randomly blinded by their own military.

3
2

Judge issues search warrant for anyone who Googled a victim's name

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

> What numpty uses Google when planning crimes? It's all about duduckgo or yandex over tor.

It's part of a cunning plan by the cops. They know full well that the originating IP address of any searcher is likely to be registered to a local coffee shop but... hey - they've all got to be checked out and they might as well stop for donuts at the same time.

12
0

Germany to Facebook, Twitter: We are *this* close to fining you €50m unless you delete fake news within 24 hours

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: "Free Speech" is not a "Safe Place"

> Its simple really, if you dont turn up for the argument then you lose.

And if you do turn up for the argument you give credence to every idea, no matter how ludicrous.

0
1

Watt the f... Dim smart meters caught simply making up readings

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Re: campaigners pdeudoscience

@AC

> Nil illegitimorum carborundum, as they say.

Your knowledge of Greek marks you out as an Arts graduate. ;-)

2
0

Video intercom firm Doorbird wants $80 for device password resets

2+2=5
Silver badge
Facepalm

Logic fail

> My bank doesn't charge me $80 for a password reset!

In other news, Ferrari owners complain that the cost of a service and oil change is more than for a Ford.

19
0

Facebook shopped BBC hacks to National Crime Agency over child abuse images probe

2+2=5
Silver badge

Re: Why *should* Facebook act?

> Why *should* Facebook act?

Because Facebook have taken it upon themselves to do so in the past.

http://adage.com/article/digital/controversy-mounts-facebook-napalm-girl-censorship/305792/

1
0

'Baby, I know your database needs upgrades tonight'

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

Any moment...

Any moment James Corden will be along to do a "Storage Pool Karaoke" version.

I thank you.

2
0

Ex penetrated us almost 700 times through secret backdoor, biz alleges

2+2=5
Silver badge
Joke

> Not the most advanced backdoor is it?

No, but what's the betting the only reason they found it was because they subsequently hired a Jeff Manning and wondered why he already had an account?

21
0

One IP address, multiple SSL sites? Beating the great IPv4 squeeze

2+2=5
Silver badge

> El Reg is a great place for IT news and opinion. I'm not sure it's the place to have a hand-holding tutorial on how to configure something.

It was like reading a hobbyist computer magazine from the 1980s - interesting article, turn the page and suddenly reams of Basic to type in. :-)

27
0

Revealed: UK councils shrug at privacy worries, strap on body cams

2+2=5
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Well I think....

> You sir are in the view of some a Paedo because you have video of the kiddies in your posession.

And if he was driving fast at the time the dashcam recorded these children he'd be a spaedo.

(Coat. Me. Leaving now.)

3
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017