* Posts by Spasticus Autisticus

127 posts • joined 11 Jan 2014


Password managers may leave your online crown jewels 'exposed in RAM' to malware – but hey, they're still better than the alternative

Spasticus Autisticus

Stopped reading at ....

.... on a Windows machine ..... - sorry.

Icon for Windows in its current POS form -------------------->

Facebook didn't care if your kids ran up gigantic credit card bills – lawsuit

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: This is similar...

Stevie, like it. Cunts is also one of the few single words that sum up Fuckbook, and in the singular - Fuckerberg.

Did I read somewhere that US companies have rights like a person or something similar? Well, if found guilty, jail FB for 20 years. Owners, directors, management, working from the top down do 1 month each of stir - and not in a cushy executive prison, but not necessarily in a top security hell hole, just a normal mid-range offender prison. A month of that is enough to get people's attention.

Icon for what can't happen soon enough to FB

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

Spasticus Autisticus

Slightly OT

When using the wise monkeys it would be great to use all of them - all 4 - https://crissov.github.io/unicode-proposals/fourth-monkey.html - especially when its El Goog that is the subject of the story :-)

TripTank Stump the Goog - https://vimeo.com/96767671 - NSFW

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: New old song

Get fuel, dear Henry, dear Henry

Get fuel, dear Henry, dear Henry, get fuel

How to get fuel dear Lisa, dear Lisa

How to get fuel dear Lisa, dear Lisa, how?

With a Soyuz dear Henry, dear Henry

With a Soyuz dear Henry, dear Henry, a Soyuz

There’s a hole in my Soyuz ……..

Just had to finish the loop off.

Apologies for change in title too - the 'dead rats' is automatically inserted in my replies and I forgot to change it. Might be something to do with NoScript.

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: "as much value as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"

Well, warm it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Well, warm it, dear Henry, dear Henry, and hope!

Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off

Spasticus Autisticus

Much prefer get schwifty - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ctK1aoWuqY - not particularly NSFW

Supreme Court raises eyebrows at Google's cozy $8.5m legal deal

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

Psst - Kieren, your bias is showing. Tuck it back in out of sight like good journalists do.

Paris, as she likes to let it all hang out too :-)

Congrats from 123-Reg! You can now pay us an extra £6 or £12 a year for basically nothing

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: I want to move away

Express Hosting

Facebook: Up to 90 million addicts' accounts slurped by hackers, no thanks to crappy code

Spasticus Autisticus

To my shame, I have a FB account. I haven't used it for ages and haven't agreed to the new terms post GDPR, so its sort of dormant.

What I'd like to do is delete my FB account but first have FB give me ALL the info they have on me. I've never given them my mobile number but suspect they have it. FB is almost certain to have more info about me then shows on my account which I can delete (deletefacebook).

Is there somewhere that details how to go about getting FB to tell me everything they hold on me? I know it would be pretty much impossible to know they have complied but I would at least like to try.

Oldest swinger in town, Slackware, notches up a quarter of a century

Spasticus Autisticus

I looked out my February 1996 PCW Interactive CD that has Slackware Professional Linux on it (v2.0 I think), the CD still runs but I doubt I'll try to make two install floppies to try and install it. This was my introduction to Linux and the start of my move away from Windows, which is at least 99% complete.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled

Spasticus Autisticus

Werepires - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE80Mdv7eTs

Not particularly NSFW - depends where you work :-)

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: "Norwegians are not good at using condoms."


giggity :-)

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

Mmmm, tasty bit of 'Atlantic' salmon for ocean day lunch, bet it was reared in a cage in the Atlantic somewhere just off the British coast.

PETA are brilliant! We need nutters to laugh at. Paris because its a bit fishy.

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Reliability?

Four were due, 5 take off, no problems with the 4 due to make the crossing so the spare turned back.

Microsoft sinks another data centre with Natick 2

Spasticus Autisticus

Are ya ready kids?

Aye, Aye captain!

I can't heeeaaar yooouuu!



Who lives in a datapod under the sea?

Gunge Bob Server Pants!


A pathetic attempt I know but I'm not a creative type, may be someone cleverer can do the whole song?

Apologies to Stephen Hillenburg & Derek Drymon

Chief EU negotiator tells UK to let souped-up data adequacy dream die

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Irish abortion referendum.

EEC, I think - before my time. Economic partnership, great idea, all the rest of the United States of Europe shit was where it went wrong.

Icon for the EU - which is were its heading, unfortunately, unless the EU 'leaders' get their shit together.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Spasticus Autisticus

Brilliant! I'm out fishing with a young person (17) today, he has no idea about anything. Too much fun sometimes.

Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

Spasticus Autisticus

17:13 BST

Installed and updates in - just shy of an hour, beat that Windows!

A few tweaks and other packages to go in, perhaps half-an-hour and it'll be ready to go back to its owner.

Spasticus Autisticus

"Busy with factory reinstall of a Win10 Lenovo laptop - it got bogged down for some reason. Slow to start, slow to get the desktop ready for user interaction."

Busy upgrading Windows 10 Lenovo laptop to Linux Mint @ 16:16 BST - will post back when installed and fully updated (get ready for a red face when it goes horribly wrong :-) )

Car-crash television: 'Excuse me ma'am, do you speak English?' 'Yes I do,' replies AMD's CEO

Spasticus Autisticus

Who and who? 2016 WTF! Were no races exiting (sic) in 2017?

F1 - 1 race in 10 interesting?* Regular occurrence

IndyCar - 1 race in 10 boring? Sometimes

* And it doesn't matter how many times Ben or David say 'interesting' during their commentary - it mostly isn't :-)

Spasticus Autisticus

"F1 yawn. MotoGP, rally cars, sidecars or the hillbilly OZ V8s offer far more entertainment" - add IndyCar to that list. There's more excitement in the 24heurs du Mans than an F1 race - and has been for years.

After failing to find F1 highlights in Sky's EPG (a ten minute program in reality) on anything other than Sky F1 I've decided to not bother with F1 any more. Having watched the last two IndyCar races live, both with plenty of excitement, that's what I'll now watch for fast racing.

Why do French presidents of the FIA always fuck up motorsport, Jean-Marie Bastard killed Group C for a decade or so.

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

Spasticus Autisticus
Paris Hilton

This could be my fault - sorry.

I have a friend that runs a scrapyard and one day he called to say the computer he uses to inform the DVLA of cars he'd scrapped had been upgraded to Windows 10 and he couldn't access the DVLA site any more. I tried all methods I could think of to get IE, Edge, Firefox, etc. to connect to the DVLA but nothing worked so I rolled back to Win7. I was offered a window to tell MS why this PC had been rolled back, I wrote what I thought of MS and Win10 which made my scrapyard owning friend blush. I did change it to be less offensive but as we're not sure that everything we type isn't recorded by MS - even if we delete it - MS may have been subject to some obnoxious abuse from me.

Sorry again.

The first line of this song sum up MS - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtuVBPwzstM - NSFW or MS. Paris because .....

You'll like this: Facebook probed by US watchdog amid privacy storm

Spasticus Autisticus

Mobile tracking

Facebook has never been on my Android phone, I've never visited Facebook on my phone, I've never given Facebook my mobile number, but .... I visited a shop one day and later that day when checking a group facebook page a message popped up from the shop saying something along the lines of 'thank you for visiting us, if you have any questions just contact us.' I nearly fell off my chair - how the hell did Facebook link this together? My WiFi would have been on - I now try to remember to switch it off when out.

The death of Facebook cannot come quickly enough, although it is too late for our data. It would be hard to believe anyone that said 'yes, we have deleted all the data we hold on you'.

Where do we stand as regards the Data Protection Act, or whatever it's called these days, with the likes of FB, MS, Google, etc., etc.?

Farts away! Plane makes unscheduled stop after man won't stop guffing

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: it is not something you do deliberately!

Hi Steve, nearly fell off my chair at the mention of my name - different Tony M though, I have no kids.

I have Crohn's Disease and at times can fart for Britain, though by the sound of it I'd have been trounced by your Tony. Farts on 'planes is the best fun :-) Icon for when I have explosive diarrhoea - hot, hot, hot!

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Spasticus Autisticus


I couldn't eat it.

I'd take it to the Italian Embassy and suggest that Italy declare WAR on Morrisons for besmirching the virtue of the venerable pizza.

FBI slams secret Nunes memo alleging Feds spied on Team Trump for political reasons

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: This is getting fun to watch ...

I can hear those banjos again.

Are you taking the peacock? United Airlines deny flight to 'emotional support' bird

Spasticus Autisticus

My stock comment now

Why do stories like this have me hear Duelling Banjos in my head?

FYI: That Hawaii missile alert was no UI blunder. Someone really thought the islands were toast

Spasticus Autisticus

Why do so many stories coming out of the US have me hear Duelling Banjos in my head?

Danger! High voltage: German customs bods burn half-tonne of weed in power station

Spasticus Autisticus



Fresh bit o' Linux to spruce up that ancient Windows Vista box? Why not, we say...

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: boys flogging themselves

@ Colin

KDE 3.5.10 was the last good version of KDE before the abomination of 4 (don't know about 5, KDE had lost me by then). I usually upgrade to a new version of Linux by getting a new drive and retire the old drive. For a while I used to pop the old OpenSUSE drive back in just to see KDE 3.5.10 for a nostalgia trip - I don't remember what I changed to, then I found Mint Gloria and have been a very, very happy Mint with Cinnamon user ever since.

The case of the disappearing insect. Boffin tells Reg: We don't know why... but we must act

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Pedantry

You horrible man, that's sick!

But I'm sick and that made me laugh.

Essex drone snapper dealt with by police for steamy train photos

Spasticus Autisticus


Perfect handle for:

"Campdown ladies sing this song, do dah, do dah" - while on a Jigger (oh dear that's so close, 'my Gandmother was Dutch').

I'm sorry, I'll go for some correction now.

The bigger the drone, the bigger the impact

Spasticus Autisticus


How many minutes are these drones expected to fly for? That's out and back, and how fast are these things? Where will they land in a city? So much pie in the sky - mmmm pie delivered by drone - probably not.

Violent moon mishap will tear Uranus a new ring or two

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Entrianglement

'It's intelligent life calling to tell us they want more Dangerman:'

Dangerman? Nah, Danger Mouse - just lost an hour on Youtube and Wikipedia

It's official: Users navigate flat UI designs 22 per cent slower

Spasticus Autisticus


Dead things




What next? Windows 10? the last ever Windows - oh yes please!

70% of Windows 10 users are totally happy with our big telemetry slurp, beams Microsoft

Spasticus Autisticus

Isn't every version going to be "the best Windows ever"?

Microsoft make me sick.

Virgin Media's profanity warning triggered by chief exec's name

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Ok ok...

Back in the late 70's I used to get contract work from Marconi in Writtle with the drawings sent from W. Anker (thought he was a William), never met or spoke to him though.

Also worked with Will Drown at Pumpkin Marine in London, nearly fell off my chair when he got a mention on QI by Sandi Toksvig, when he fitted her with a buoyancy aid at Crewsaver. Was very ill in his loo at a party!

Sweden leaked every car owners' details last year, then tried to hush it up

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: "as much value as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory"

Tampons - furry things with a tail.

Dead rats - furry things with a tail.

That's how I saw it. Made me laugh, but I'm sick.

Rik had fun with a 'mousey' found in a girl's handbag, The Young Ones party episode - a very good one.

America's mystery X-37B space drone lands after two years in orbit

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: it is unlikely that it carries any weapons... cough... cough...

Upvote from me - I look but don't see! Made me laugh :-)

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: it is unlikely that it carries any weapons... cough... cough...


Rifling through my rifles....

My 1930's vintage BSA Light Pattern 'A' series springer air rifle has a rifled barrel - http://www.network54.com/Forum/670443

My Webley Tempest air pistol even has a rifled barrel.

I'm pretty sure my Air Arms S400 MPR PCP 10m competition air rifle has a rifled barrel

Otherwise I agree on what you say may, or may not, work in a vacuum.

When going in to pendant mode it pays to check you know everything about what your talking about :-)

Linux kernel security gurus Grsecurity oust freeloaders from castle

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: I don't care about Grsecurity or Linux

or perhaps a pink shirted Tux with some taramasalata, or tzatziki made with lactose free yoghurt - keeping it Greek :-) Use Kalamata olives for big penguins (the best tasting olives anyway!).

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: I don't care about Grsecurity or Linux

Hi Arthur

Try these two, I'm sure there are others


All Recipes

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Incriminating Evidence

We added airborne troops to Risk, forget which card was used to enable that move, probably the all three 'joker' card. Oh the howls and tantrums when you attacked a place with just a few armies on it and took someone's continent bonus away.

Firefox 52 kills plugins – except Flash – and runs up a red flag for HTTP

Spasticus Autisticus

'I actually use BOTH uBlock and Ghostery.'

Those two plus Privacy Badger - and NoScript

As Microsoft touts Windows Insider for biz, let's take a look at W10's broken 2FA logins

Spasticus Autisticus

Lets turn that PR guff around - 'IT Professionals recognise that Windows is a critical pain in the ass to any organisation.'

The Life and Times of Lester Haines

Spasticus Autisticus

Manningtree - my neck of the woods! After 50+ years I'm nearly accepted here now :-)

Action Outdoors!! Run by two friends of mine.

I feel famous by association.

RIP Lester

CERT tells Microsoft to keep EMET alive because it's better than Win 10's own security

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Mint!

+100 - more and more of my customers are moving to Mint when they see how much faster, familiar and easier it is over W, w, w, w, w, w - I can't bring myself to say it, don't want to make my mouth dirty :-)

-100 for the MS dead donkey floggers that down vote negative (to MS) - but often funny - comments.

BSODs from around the world, from the wrist-job to public art

Spasticus Autisticus

Re: Two images missing

Thank you El Khaptain - it is NoScript's doing, the lowres image thing only started a couple of weeks or so ago, perhaps permissions got reset and I didn't realise.

Had my porridge with honey (from Shropshire) this morning thank you - still disappointed in direction El Reg has gone recently.

Spasticus Autisticus

Two images missing

I couldn't see two of the images, and I don't click twitlinks.

Seen the super low res images on the right? A sign that El Reg is hurting financially (even more?) since its dreadful changes, plus just including a link instead of the image saves storage space, saves money? Makes sense when you're down on your uppers. Too late for a subscription service, many of the good guys and girls have gone - reporters and 'tards.

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky .....

Microsoft promises free terrible coffee every month you use Edge

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