* Posts by Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

88 posts • joined 9 Jan 2014

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Apple hands keys for retail to HR boss amid flagging iPhone sales

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Put HR person in charge of sales

What could go wrong?

Euro eggheads call it: Facebook political ads do change voters' minds – and they worked rather well for Trump in 2016

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Trump was elected...

because the alternative was a thousand times worse.....

A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I concur

I was once accused by an underling of suffering from sperm retention headaches which caused my continuously foul moods. Looking back I think she was right.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: HMSO

Sounds like a 6 month gig my son had just after leaving school. His job was to set up iPads for use in various schools around the country. Since this was accomplished in bulk by a suitably equipped computer, he managed to get halfway through his 6 month allocation of iPads in about 1 month. His boss told him to slow down or else he would end up finishing long before the end of the contract period and would only get paid for the time he worked. Needless to say he took the advice and stretched the job out to its required maximum.

Alaskan borough dusts off the typewriters after ransomware crims pwn entire network

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: 1st rule of an IT system...

It must have been fun watching Millennials try to figure out how to use a typewriter....

Your phone may be able to clean up snaps – but our AI is much better at touching up, say boffins

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Am I the only one...

At least they didn't choose to call it "nanotechnology". That one has been done to death.

The strange tale of an energy biz that suddenly became a blockchain upstart – and $1.4m now forfeited in sold shares

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Where have we seen this before?

The people throwing money at anything with blockchain in the name are probably the descendants of the ones who, 20 years ago, threw money at anything with dotcom in the name.

Google kills AdWords!

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Be thankful for the lack of symbolic explanation

Humans can be exposed only to so many paragraphs containing words such as SYNERGY and MATRIX and ENGAGEMENT and TOP OF MIND and PARADIGM and GOING FORWARD before their cerebral cortex shuts down and they die.

Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

@Elmer Phud

Really? You make this into a race issue? How about you go eff yourself?

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Ah FUBAR

A boss i had long ago accused me of suffering from CRAFT disease. Can't Remember A F@#$ing Thing"

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

My first experience with a circular saw

saw me end up slicing right through the power cable. Thankfully tripped the house power but there was a loud bang.

‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

And that, children, is how your grandpa started the war in Afghanistan.

39 episodes of 'CSI' used to build AI's natural language model

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

"I'll create a GUI interface...

...using visual basic to track the killers IP address". I half expected them to include this priceless quote from CSI NY.

Microsoft's foray into phones was a bumbling, half-hearted fiasco, and Nadella always knew it

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Had a Samsung phone running Windows Mobile 6

Freakin' awful piece of crap that was unresponsive and equipped with a brain fart version of IE. Not sure if I should blame Microsoft or Samsung for that piece 'o shite but it put me off Windows phones permanently.

Monkey selfie case settles for a quarter of future royalties

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

People Extorting Toonies for Apes

I leave now, eh?

Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

The Gilligan's Island Theme

+1 for that

Google diversity memo: Web giant repudiates staffer's screed for 'incorrect assumptions about gender'

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

We all know "diversity" is bollocks

“A diverse mix of voices leads to better discussions, decisions, and outcomes for everyone.” Actually they lead to the censorship of those with alternative but equally valid viewpoints. You just have to observe 3rd Wave feminists and BLM in action to know that this is true.

Uber wants your top tips to mend its rotten image

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Tips

Never play cards with a man called Doc

Never eat at a place called Mom's

Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own

Teen girl who texted boyfriend to kill himself guilty of manslaughter

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Stupid but? @Version 1.0

- "In the USA, color (sic) has everything to do with it - we just pretend that it doesn't." -

No, in the USA, colour has nothing to do with it and you just pretend that it does.

Sharp claims Hisense reverse-ferreted its US telly licence deal

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

So has every other "name" brand

I can't think of a formerly high quality "name" brand that hasn't sold its soul to the cheap knock offs. Pioneer? Sansui? Akai? Oh how you have fallen....

US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Lawyers arguing for money over sound and light waves

I suffered through that lump of crap not knowing that it was directed by M Night Iamasham. That detail alone would have stopped me from wasting precious hours watching what must have been an April Fools joke that got out of hand.

User loses half of a CD-ROM in his boss's PC

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Copywriter as IT Support

It was faster but the data didn't always reach the intended target.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Copywriter as IT Support

Way way back in my younger days as an ad agency copywriter (sometime in the very early '90s), I made the mistake of mentioning my hobby of working on PCs (or rather PC; being my personal one at home that I regularly upgraded and modded as needed for the purposes of gaming and such). Management saw this as a way of getting IT support without the hassle of actually hiring an IT person so somehow the job of regularly telling people to hit reboot; asking them if they actually turned their PC on when they complain that their machine is not doing anything; asking them if they turned the printer on when they complain that the printer is not doing anything; and refilling the ink tanks of the inkjet printer until the cartridges fell to pieces because management was too cheap to buy replacements, fell on me.

The printer was shared using a print sharing dongle which rarely worked properly. More often than not it was easier to copy the file to stiffy and take it to the accounting department where the kind bookkeeping lady, who had a dedicated printer, would print the files out.

My favourite was the company's network, called FrisbeeNet because it consisted of copying files to a stiffy disk and hurling it across the room to the recipient.

Good times.

User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Never underestimate the foolishness of the average user. Really, don't.

Dungeons & Dragons finally going digital

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Gawd that takes me back to my teens

I am a 50 year old nerd.

User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Ah yes indeed.

Conversely, I work for a gov agency and our IT department is truly hopeless. The length of time for requests to get attended to can be measured in weeks and not a single computer in our organisation (and there are at least 400 of them) is configured correctly. The worst was out graphic designer's machine. They were supposed to upgrade Windows to 64-bit version so the whole 8 gigs of RAM could be used and 64-bit Photoshop could be installed. Requested, begged, demanded but nothing. The machine, a quad core i7 should have run well but it was a performance dog because of misconfigurations. If something in my dept needs IT attention I do it myself because its faster and I know it will be done right.

Not disparaging those IT folk who go above and beyond. I have utmost respect for them. Just saying that my particular one is as useful as the mammaries on a bull.

Jesse Jackson to Apple CEO Cook: Hire black

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Famous Race Hustler Hustles Race

Colour me surprised.

Sysadmin's sole client was his wife – and she queried his bill

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Two Rules Apply

1. Never work for someone you are related to.

2. Never do something that would risk the downgrading or overall disappearance of one's marital relations.

Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

One hell of a water slide

for the suicidally inclined

Possible reprieve for the venerable A-10 Warthog

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Money well saved?

It's a cold day in Iraq before the US DoD considers the option of saving money. As long as the US has breathing taxpayers, the DoD will have a captive, immortal cash cow.

Cheer up Samsung! You might get back $400m for copying the iPhone

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Ersatz Scamsung

"Anti-Apple people can resent Apple all they like - but they are are a dying breed."

This line alone made me realise what an idiot you are.

Sociology student gets a First for dissertation on Kardashians

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Earth Shattering Stuff...

"if you regard sociology as a joke subject, there are plenty of PR companies, media companies and "opinion formers" ..." I think you just proved how much of a joke sociology really is.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Earth Shattering Stuff...

Sociology is for the lazy and this twit proves it.

Remember those stupid hoverboards? 500,000+ recalled in the US after they started exploding

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Blatant misuse of the word "hover"

The only time these things hover is when one is about to be smashed over the head of the user.

Microsoft's cringey 'Hey bae <3' recruiter email translated by El Reg

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I can tell them how it occurred

Just open the door marked "Marketing Department". Those retards sitting at their desks are the reason it occurred. Please fire accordingly.

UN council: Seriously, nations, stop switching off the damn internet

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

South Africa a democracy?

Don't make me laugh....

Apple, Amazon and Google are screwing us, warns Elizabeth Warren

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Oh my. I'm shocked that screwing is going on!

...and get into uni on the minority ticket

If The Register made reality music TV, this is what it would look like

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

The Alan Parsons Project Parson Project

Where the 70s prog rock band gradually eliminates contestants in the quest for the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

Hillary Clinton broke law with private email server – top US govt watchdog

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Read My Lips

Presidential Pardon (In the highly unlikely event she gets convicted of anything more than being an airhead)

Hewlett Packard Enterprise hiring temps to cover for redundancies - sources

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

There's one individual who should have gotten canned

The arsehole in marketing who came up with "bestshore".

The Lonely Pirate MEP's Holocaust copyright stunt backfires

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

I thought that pic was Jarvis Cocker

or some high school snap of Bill Gates.

British booter bandit walks free after pleading guilty to malware sales

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Way too soft a sentence

There's always the possibility that his victims will sue him eight ways to Sunday, making his enjoyment of his ill gotten gains rather short.

Fake CEOs pilfer $2.3bn from US biz pockets in three years – Feds

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

That's why every company needs to update their CEO regularly

If they wish to remain completely secure, removing the CEO entirely is an even better solution.

No more Nookie for Blighty as Barnes & Noble pulls out

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: Paper books

My problem is failing eyesight. As much as I like the paper version, an e-reader has considerable advantages for those of us cursed with crappy eyeballs.

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

And "piracy" will continue to flourish

because of dumbassery like this. Far better to strip the DRM out of your books, convert your library using Calibre and tell the publishing industry to shove the latest 21 volume edition of the Oxford English Dictionary up their cloacas.

SCO vs. IBM looks like it's over for good

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

does this mean everybody gets to punch Darl McBride in the face?

He does deserve it, after all.

Eurovision Song Contest uncorks 1975 vote shocker: No 'Nul point'!

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Eurovision Songs

It's what the opposite of music sounds like.

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The gargantuan Gatsby

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

To all the Zimbos here

Remember meat?

SciFi and fantasy titan David G. Hartwell passes, aged 74

Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

Re: SciFi headed to the graveyard

Yeah, we did - and when the SJWs demand that anything written by a straight white male be banned from bookshelves, we'll stand around drinking beer, abusing women and enslaving the natives.

http://www.breitbart.com/tech/2016/01/21/sjws-politically-incorrect-purge-sci-fi/

Maybe you should acquaint yourself with how zealots work nowadays.

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