Posts by DNTP

Re: Selling printer ink- HP's new business model

"What, make genuine HP ink ourselves? No, we just price it as if it were liquid diamonds so no one buys it; the real money is in suing other people for making knockoff cartridges and refill kits, and for reverse-engineering the cheat chips in our printers that force users to waste ink on 'test' pages and replace our cartridges when they are still half-full. We fired all our production workers and leased the factory out as a chemical waste storage dump, and diverted that money to the patent lawyers."

360 degrees of review

And end up right back where they started: dedicated to Theatrical Security.

Re: Step 3

"After reviewing your CV and interviewing you for this position that we advertised at an entry level compensation at least, we'd like to offer you this job as an unpaid internship. You'd be performing exactly the duties of a paid employee at least fifty hours a week, without anyone here being bothered to specifically contribute to your education, and we promise not to act as a useful work reference if you leave the company. We will be reporting to the tax authority that you are in fact being compensated, but between us there will be an understanding that all 'compensation' you receive from this company will be in the form of educational experience, which you will be solely responsible for paying the appropriate income tax upon."

Re: OUTSIDE the Earth

My dudes, all that stuff coming from outside is like, the Earth Mother's gravity field hugging it and bringing it in. Its like, she's ordering us space pizza for after we smoke all that awesome stuff.

Re: I've, umm... done most of that stuff

I justify it to myself that I'm acting in good faith in the interests of my company, department, and users, and often that's actually my prime motive. Sometimes though it's just plain fun to get a new billing system in place and then put a bullet through the hard disk of our last (in 2015, for fuck's sake) WinXP PC.

Re: list yer porn

Mine's gonna be that site where cute women in lab coats try to sell me computers and lab equipment. Hold on the boss is hammering my officer door:

"For the last time, those are sales brochures, not pornography! Keep your damn door open!"

Re: Important message from IBM upper management!

"Beatings will continue until morale improves. Support staff layoffs will continue until customer support improves. Employee shredding will continue until people stop posting the '...to shreds, you say?' meme."

Re: Yes, but ..

Who will pay the drone registration on Ashit Pie, Verizon or Comcast?

Re: Finland

No one seriously believes Finland isn't real.

Except Reddit.

Why would a company waste actual money on people who are so disloyal that they'd VOLUNTEER to not work there any more? /sarcasm

Aww yeah free drones and I get to climb a tree.

Who needs planes

Who needs planes, it already has at least one droneUAV (which is apparently so stealth tech that even the people on the carrier can't detect it coming and going), under the command of a brass-balled Scotsman.

Re: In the Science section?

People love stories about scientists and engineers taking the stuffing out of of marketing types. Well maybe marketing doesn't like those stories so much.

Re: All these accusations about him looking at pron...

His lawyer states he is "determined to erect a turgid defense".

Re: "Android Wear hardware boss bails"

"Bail out of the plane before the impact" vs "Bales and bales of unsold smartwatches and wearables".

Verb vs noun, practical action vs useless object, etc.

Re: He got 8 years....

Be careful, if your courts keep handing out disproportionate sentences for computer crimes, you might get mistaken for the 51st United State.

Re: MS forgets domain expiration

-and some random guy with sharp eyes snaps it up, tenderly holds it like an abandoned baby in his strong yet gentle arms, then turns it back over to the authorities. Here's the a link you were looking for (edit: wow, apparently they did this more than once?).

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2003/11/06/microsoft_forgets_to_renew_hotmail/

Re: Someone has to...

Hey there, we see you're trying to install Linux on hardware that's very slightly nonstandard and you're struggling to find working drivers for everything and your IT skill level is below 'OCD 'nix Fanboy'. Feeling Suicidal? Get help at www.microsoft.com.

Re: He's a lawyer...

He's supposed to be: The judge, impartially deciding the best public policy direction for the FCC.

He imagines himself as: A cable industry shill, heroically fighting the interests of the public.

He is actually: The Trump cabal's asshole of the moment, who for some reason still gets Supreme Judge powers.

Re: Thanks for the pre-holiday downer, Chairman Pai

If Verizon peed in his stuffing, he'd eat every bite with a grin on his face and love it. Slavery is supposed to be illegal now and here he is, gleefully selling his corrupt body and soul and responsibility to the people.

Re: Just make sure the damn thing is grounded properly

BTW the movie I'm satirizing here is the stupidest movie featuring an AI that I ever remember seeing. I won't say the name here, but since it featured a drone plane, if they made a sequel about a robot boat, it might be called "Swell-th".