* Posts by myhandler

177 posts • joined 8 Jan 2014


Brit Parliament online orifice overwhelmed by Brexit bashers


Re: The only conspiracy

They said it's the trending recounts crashed it - what arsewipe mofo ****** does a trending recount on live data per click? Shoot me now.

IBM so very, very sorry after jobs page casually asks hopefuls: Are you white, black... or yellow?


Re: There's A Bit Of A Slope On It

Of course he knew what it meant - it's used in Australia as well - anyone who thinks Clarkson didn't know is beng a troll racist apologist. Clarkson said it with a little girn on his face. Vile humour.

WWW = Woeful, er, winternet wendering? CERN browser rebuilt after 30 years barely recognizes modern web


Re: No https for you

The entirety of Beeb news is disappearing down the pan.

Web as above.

TV as above.

Much as it pains me I prefer Sky on Freeview TV now, plus Channel 4 of course.

Graun is very clicky baity too.

They don't realise they've shot themselves in the foot.

Why does that website take forever to load? Clues: Three syllables, starts with a J, rhymes with crock of sh...


How much of this is down to implementations where sites are put together via Node or similar, dependency mountains get bolted in routinely, and stuff gets added because it's simple to add?

Or does that only really affect the back end?

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut


Mr Haynes should have been knighted.

(but with a torque wrench obvs.)


Re: When changing bearings

Ah the drift - do people still use that word?

Got a couple of promising ones in my toolbox but not sure they'll find a use now.

'Now is the winter of our disk contents'... Decision on Lauri Love's seized gear due next week

Thumb Up

We have to wonder, is El Reg headline writer heading for greater things?

(Full of wise saws and modern instances ;-)

Amid polar vortex... Honeywell gets frosty reception after remote smart thermostat tech freezes up for a week


Re: IOT=Crap

Ah, of course, the orthodox Jews - using IoT to avert God's wrath.

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again


Re: A reminder of how crap Apple products are

Well done Mystic Megabyte for your troll nonsense.

An iMac would have no problem rotating a JPEG - you had some other problem but failed to look harder.


Re: ' by 1998 there was no actual need to buy a mac for DTP. NT4 was excellent'

In 1988/89 the Mac revolutionised the professional print and design industry.

IIx, II fx, IIcx, I remember them well - even the dinky little Classics and SE30s could do useful work for some.

Overnight commercial typesetting companies went bust.

Advertising and general publishing then got on board and by about 1994 the reprographics industry was also chewed up and spat out.

Windows was not a viable replacement till 2000, if that, and even then every design professional would laugh contemptuously.

Lisa led the way.

Disclaimer : I've not used a Mac for nearly 20 years.

Encryption? This time it'll be usable, Thunderbird promises


Thunderbird search stinks to high heaven and beyond.

Search for 'weds' and you will get weddings as well as some Wednesdays .

Stemming search I think they call it - but it can't be switched off. ASININE BEYOND BELIEF.

Filterng the results of search also stinks:

The list of recipients updates if you filter by year - but if you filter with "not involving this person" - any other people who only appear under that inital user you've filteredd out are still shown in the list, so you have to remove dozens to get a reasonalble list of possibles. It's pathetic.

But yeah a new fancy UX is more important - not.

I bet it looks like a bloody app next year.

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong


Apple Mac SE 30: user complained it kept switching off when she was working, yet stayed on fine if she wasn't using it.

So I sat down for the event she insisted would occur.

It happened and I was surprised - so I thought we'd better repeat it.

Luckily I sat a few feet away and there she was, one leg crossed over the other, pointy shoes, and her leg starts swinging as she gets into her work - and the tip of her bloody stilletto hits the mains switch on the wall, just enough to break the power.

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


Re: Environmental Protestors?

Could just be another personality profile - not everyone wants to join a gang.

If you do this as "proof of concept" you've immediately given away your method - you can be sure something will be brought in to counter it.

There must be sightings by locals outside the perimeter by now - but maybe they hate the airport.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones


Yeah well obvs I meant geostationary.


So what's the deal on surveillance satellites?

I don't know how many there are over Southern UK and if one can study Gatwick, but I believe they have enough resolution to see a big drone.

If so the military in charge can tell plod where to find the perp.

Anyone care to explain why that's fantasy?

LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing


Re: Capsule system.

The thing about buying coffee as beans or ready ground is I've got the whole world to choose from and no crap pod nonsense.

The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it


Re: Saving democracy

I wish you were right - but don't you remember the kids at school who always messed around, and the others who were certain they were right in every argument.

Former headteacher fined £700 after dumping old pupil data on server at new school


Re: Puzzling

The fact the fine is small points to it being a stupid idea on his behalf, rather than any nonsense imagined by the Daily Mail reader in our midst.

Processing data at home would be far worse though, wouldn't it?

He then lied when he realised it was a serious mistake and thought the "bumbling idiot" defence might work.

I think the lie will stop him teaching again.

This one weird trick turns your Google Home Hub into a doorstop


Plus one for the headline

Beats cling film for wrinkles

That 'Surface will die in 2019' prediction is still a goer, says soothsayer


There was a rumoured Surface phone in the works too, or was that vapo-rumo-ware?

Punkt: A minimalist Android for the paranoid


I like it but I need mapping.

I want a minimal slurp free phone - I'd pay $350 for that.

This is no better than my dumb phone.

A story of M, a failed retailer: We'll give you a clue – it rhymes with Charlie Chaplin


Re: "So you take on debt and spend dozens of years paying off the debt,"

Ah got you.. blimey.. still sounds dodgy re corporate governance.


Re: "So you take on debt and spend dozens of years paying off the debt,"

50 years ago?? It was easily done 20 years ago - bought my house for £ 140k in suburban London 22 years ago. Nearly paid off and don't ask what it's "worth" now.

And thankfully I wasn't seduced by a pension mortgage or interest only.

More to the point why did the last buyer of Maplin (or their expert accountants and advisers) fail to see they were being stiffed?

Nameless Right To Be Forgotten Google sueball man tries Court of Appeal – yet again


Re: "ABC's approach has greatly upset the legal establishment"

No - it's because he won't identify himself to the courts - that establishes unusual precedents.

How a tax form kludge gifted the world 25 joyous years of PDF


Re: Print Definition File

Print publishing houses only wanted Word for author's text - everything else was in QuarkXPress.

There's still an enormous requirement for fixed documents that always appear the same.

T-Mobile owner sends in legal heavies to lean on small Brit biz over use of 'trademarked' magenta


BP tried trademarking "BP green" about 25 years ago and were told where to go.

If you consider colour theory there is no such thing as a specific colour anyway.

Someone going to trademark black now ?

HP Ink to compensate punters for bricking third-party ink cartridges


Re: Lovin' my HP printer

Blimey - I've got one of those LaserJets (4MP to be precise) though it won't feed pages through now - I need to follow that YouTube video again on taking it to bits and checking where the pinch point is.

Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain


Re: The most amazing engineering

I live about 5 miles from Heathrow though not on the normal flight path. Concorde used to take off, do a sharp right and fly directly down our street seemingly very low - the house used to shake and I'd run out to try and catch a glimpse. My baby son called it Councoun.

And as a kid I used to see it doing the test fights high in the sky over Wiltshire. Amazing machine.

A developer always pays their technical debts – oh, every penny... but never a groat more


Re: If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand!

Nice idea but who's going to pay for all that documentation?

(not talking about comments, talking about a full description and record)

On many projects it will need to be continually updated.

Over the long run, let's say 5 years, while that cost should be justified, it does load that cost to the front of the project.

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word


Firing the guy was a bit excessive but it's NOTHING to do with whether the word exists or not.

It's called attention to detail, doing your job, PROOF READING FFS.

Cambridge Analytica seeks data protection assistant


Well if you've read any of the GDPR stuff, then yes, you need a degree.

Suspected drug dealer who refused to poo for 46 DAYS released... on bail


So how were they going to get the incriminating evidence?

Do all cells have filter trough outlets on the WCs?

Who gets to go though it - PC Stool Pigeon?

Mobile phone dealer boss faces 12 years in director limbo


Not personally liable for the debt, no, but if he broke the law he could go to prison

Who wants dynamic dancing animations and code in their emails? Everyone! says Google


Re: some people may find this appealing

Grow up - if you exclude style formatting you can't view tabular data nicely for one - design and layout are there to make things easier to read and comprehend.

Though I agree that's all that HMTL email should allow.

Anyway Microsoft Outlook won't adopt any of this for at least 20 years.

Web searching died the day they invented SEO


Don't you lot use Google's "verbatim" option?

Hidden under tools > 'all results' dropdown> verbatim

I used to have a plug in that got Firefox to always do that, but sodding Quantum scuppered that

Verbatim is good .. but can you combine it with date range filter .?. No.

It's pathetic that the evil bastard Google shits on us from on high, just to prove they are the fuckers who don't give a shit about end users.

Software that predicts whether crims will break the law again is no better than you or me


So is The Register now US centric?

The article implies "all" courts till you get down to paragraph 4.

Even if it is US centric the Reg writers should remember the US is not the only country in the world.

Amount of pixels needed to make VR less crap may set your PC on fire


Re: Glasses anyone?

Um - not going to work until they can project the image directly onto the retina.

Hold on to your aaSes: Yup, Windows 10 'as a service' is incoming


Re: Innovation is what's needed...

Yes but Apple tend to tie in their software with OS updates - so if the OS is updated you *have* to update Logic Pro to run the latest version and that's not free.

Proposed Brit law to ban b**tards brandishing bots to bulk-buy tickets


Doesn't work for tickets as gifts or for parents buying tickets for their kids.

Do you want your teenage progeny taking your credit card to a gig where they will no doubt lose it?

Kids will also optimistically buy tickets but then find their friends can't go (or their parents won't let them) and have to sell them all. I speak from experience. (But easily sold via Gumtree not the bastard agents)

Microsoft Surface Book 2: Electric Boogaloo. Bigger, badder, better


Re: Real alternatives?

CAD/CGI calls for a desktop machine, loads of RAM, high power graphics, a normal Wacom and ideally two monitors.

If you need portable with touch screen as well this seems a bargain.

Microsoft's 'Surface Phone' is the ghost of Courier laughing mockingly at fanbois


Re: Mechanical hinge

Well there's the nylon hinge made of a bendy piece of nylon - no moving parts anyway.

Why dont they make one out of a zip.. that should work. Let me call my patent lawyer.

Hackers' delight: Mobile bank app security flaw could have smacked millions


Banks will usually push blame back onto users - see recent reports of students getting scammed out of their funds.

London mayor: Self-driving cars? Not without jacked-up taxes, you don't!


The problem with Singapore's car tax model is that it relies on having poor neighbours where cars past their use by date can be dumped. It's a very eco-unfriendly use of resources.

Anyway there's no opposition in Singapore so government can do whatever the hell it likes. (The opposition is a symbolic pantomime.)

Here it would be political suicide, not that they need much help on that score...

I think Khan has been wilfully misrepresented here.

Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood


Re: @DougS Wait, the dragons are dead?

Pussy Willow surely?

If your websites use WordPress, put down that coffee and upgrade to 4.8.3. Thank us later


Only just spotted this - upgraded the personal WP site I maintain.

Looking at Mr Ferrara's post it seems that WP still uses the mysql database driver, not PDO (or mysqli).

How long has it been deprecated ? Six years? That's inexcusable.

But I still don't see why fixing it properly should break plugins?

39 episodes of 'CSI' used to build AI's natural language model


Re: visuals?

It's essential it knows that humans take their sunglasses off to think.

Can you get from 'dog' to 'car' with one pixel? Japanese AI boffins can


So is the general rule that AI pattern recognition works off perceptual hashing?

There must be more to it - that seems fundamentally not AI but just massive statistical guesswork.

They should be converting to vectors, like SVG etc, then looking for patterns.

AI bot rips off human eyes, easily cracks web CAPTCHA codes. Ouch


Re: Tell the website authors

If you cc the message back to the sender you deserve to be penalised.

Email verify and then allow posting.

In forum posts filter out all html, or just the links, until user is marked as genuine.

Tories spared fine after being told off by ICO for election telemarketing


I live in a marginal lib/con area. Got phoned by a Lib Dem canvasser the day before the vote, but he was in Canada - FFS if they can't use local companies they won't get my vote.

OTOH the young conservatives at my front door, accompanied by an obnoxious Aussie bastard who said a vote for the lib dems was a vote for Corbyn, made the choice very simple.

How to make your HTML apps suck less, actually make some money


Can't they use SVGs for 90% of the use cases?


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