* Posts by Immenseness

87 posts • joined 30 Oct 2013

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Accenture sued over website redesign so bad it Hertz: Car hire biz demands $32m+ for 'defective' cyber-revamp

Immenseness
Coffee/keyboard

Arrgghhh!

"The team working on the project was pulled off by Accenture"

Dear God, pass the mind bleach!

Android clampdown on calls and texts access trashes bunch of apps

Immenseness

Re: The trouble is...

My own gripe regarding this is that they pushed through recent changes to wifi on the back of complaints that if an application can view the available wifi networks it can use that to pinpoint the phone's location. This a Bad Thing. So how do they fix it? By mandating that it also prompts for location permission, with a warning perhaps? Nope. Instead, if you want an application to be able view available networks, you have to give the permission to use location, but also physically turn on GPS location for all applicatons. You can then go and individually disable location access for individual applications, but if you want to view wifi networks, say to do something only if you are on the home wifi, then you can't turn off GPS, or it prompts again and won't work until you turn GPS back on again - event though the application is not using GPS. At least on my phone anyway.

Maybe I'm a cynic, but it kind of seems to me to be engineered to get those users who have chosen to have GPS turned off, to turn it back on so Google can track them, whilst claiming that it is to stop rogue applications from doing so.

Strewth! Apoplectic Aussies threaten to blast noisy Google delivery drones out of the sky

Immenseness
Flame

Re: redefining words

Redefining "We can't stand the noise, it is making us sick, please stop" as "Residents in our most recent trial area have asked that we improve the sound of our drone".

This is what pisses people off. Big corporations not listening, pushing out weasel words to make it sound like they are "listening", and the added insult of assuming we are all too dim to realise this, while ignoring those affected and carrying on regardless.

USB4: Based on Thunderbolt 3. Two times the data rate, at 40Gbps. One fewer space. Zero confusing versions

Immenseness
Devil

which way it plugs in

What fascinates me is that for those USB sticks/plugs that can only go in one way round, there are 2 possible ways to try, so why is it when I try and plug them in they *always* seem to go in on the third attempt? Enquiring minds and all that.

Long phone is loooong: Sony swipes at flagship fatigue with 21:9 tall boy

Immenseness
Pint

Re: 21:9 ratio, you say

I have a sneaking suspicion that most of the faffing about with ratios is some perceived artistic benefit/director's vanity. TV drama is the most difficult to fathom. They create stuff for broadcast TV sets, which are mostly 16:9 receivers anyway, but they seem to make their dramas with just a half inch off top and bottom for "stylistic effect". In the same vein as "ooh, let's shoot into the light for every shot so that all the poor viewer can see is silhouettes", "make sure you get the lens flare though", "oh and make sure to have a really narrow depth of field so only a fraction of the screen is in focus, and be sure to switch the focus point suddenly while the viewer is trying to work out what's going on." and "make the actors whisper almost inaudibly, but hey, keep the background sounds nice and loud so it is hard to follow what they are saying, because it is 'edgy'", and "don't forget to map the colours to something that looks like a faulty TV from the 70s."

Sorry, but it wicks me off that I have to spend the first 10 minutes of a programme trying to find an aspect ratio that is neither a ridiculously narrow letterbox across the middle of the screen, that we all have to huddle round to see, nor a distorted mess, and then faff about with the colour/contrast/brightness/temperature to get it somewhere where I can enjoy the film and not be distracted from the story by stupidly wrong colours. I used to like to sit down and lose myself in a relaxing film. Now they are bloody hard work, both to set up, and to follow - "3 weeks earlier (weird colours, whispering dialogue while a brass band plays loudly in the background and someone shines a torch in my face), 4 days later... 2 weeks earlier (is that earlier than now, or from the beginning or end of the 4 days later than the 3 weeks earlier?)... 18 hours later (someone describing a key plot point in a hoarse whisper while using a vaccuum cleaner)"..." By the end, I'm exhausted! Beer helps, beers all round!

Google cracks down on dodgy tech support ads

Immenseness
Pint

"Ad experiences"

We don't have adverts anymore, just ad experiences? Sigh.

Drinking experience anyone? :-)

Southport: Come for a round of golf, stay for the flesh-eating STIs

Immenseness
Joke

Re: ???

With the Dorset horse fetishist fair in town?

In the week Uber blew up, Netflix restates 'No brilliant jerks' policy

Immenseness
Flame

Re: developing developers development

"I wonder if they would be willing to apply their non-jerk attitude to management and administrative roles, too?"

I'd settle for them applying it to a "screensaver" that actually saves the screen burning rather than displaying a dim static picture with searing static white bits that never move while on pause.

US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

Immenseness
Coat

Re: *Sigh*

If they sold their wares at a resonable price it would help. Someone mentioned an old 1968 film in passing and I decided I'd like to pick it up and have a watch for old times sake. Went to order a dvd - 27GBP.

27GBP for a dvd of a film that is nearly 50 years old. They are taking the mick.

It was so tempting to just stream it and be done with it. I only wanted to watch it once.

However I didn't want to pirate and eventually found one on the bay with Spanish subtitles but English dialogue for 15GBP. Although I did enjoy watching it - 15GBP for a suboptimal viewing experience of a 50 year old film?

They really are their own worst enemies.

Mine's the one I bought 50 years ago that I have to pay a licence fee for every time I put it on in public.

Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

Immenseness
Coat

Read more

Progress bars that are just an illusion are my pet hate. When it gets to 100% then just starts again. Worse than pointless.

Dabbsy, I feel your pain mate and I am in total agreement. The swapping buttons are a nightmare and I hate trying to read while the text is moving about.

Don't get me started on the click here to read more buttons. Why should I have to click because the developer has decided to show me 3 lines on my huge and otherwise blank screen and hide the rest behind a "read more" button? User interfaces? Bah!

Mine's the one in the corner, no it is further up now, a bit to the left, oh it has just been hidden behind that advertising hoarding...

Resistence is futile: HPE must face Oracle over Solaris IP

Immenseness
Pint

Resistence is futile:

It certainly is. Or at least the spelling of it is.

There is clearly insufficient beer for the readership to cope with this, so beers all round!

Google's crusade to make mobile web apps less, well, horrible

Immenseness
Pint

Re: The web is no fun.

On a (slightly) related rant, what is it with the the "read more" buttons that are popping up everywhere?

I have a large screen, and more and more sites when I go to them now show 3 lines of something and I have to click to see more, often several times, when the entire thing would easily fit on the page.

I have seen the same on mobile where the entire thing will fit on one mobile screen, but no, we want you to click twice more please. It seems to be another "because we can" solution with no problem to solve. Unless it counts to tell advertisers we got clicked x number of times or some such. Bah humbug, and sod off, I'll read it elsewhere.

Beer time - click here to drink more!

Uber drivers entitled to UK minimum wage, London tribunal rules

Immenseness
Pint

Optional

"Two Uber drivers who had took the taxi app to an employment tribunal "

Arrggh! It hurts!

But beer all round for the quick fix!

Wi-Fi baby heart monitor may have the worst IoT security of 2016

Immenseness
Thumb Up

Re: Prize winning security

The polished turd award?

Kaspersky to 1337 haxors: take down our power grid. We dare you

Immenseness

Re: Just checking

The cynic in me can't help wondering how much extra business Kaspersky think they will get if they can "prove" how vulnerable the grid is to hacking by scaring the powers that be with this demonstration - no matter how close the simulation is to actuality, then being the "experts" they can swoop in and save us with their costly "solution"

Bot-herders fire fake GPS co-ords at Niantic to collect Pokémon

Immenseness

Re: If you don't want to play...

I agree totally. Now, I must just go and program the recorder to record all the TV I don't like and play it back when I am not in.

This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Immenseness
Coat

Re: Procurement always works this wonder

"I haven't seen a Procurement Department yet that did not opt for the more expensive supplier. Perhaps they justify it on the basis of paying more for reliability."

Well if you haven't spent a huge amount on expensive IT this year, how on earth can you justify next year's massive budget request to maintain your empire? *

Mine is the one bought under a PFI agreement that I'll be making payments on for the next 35 years.

* Only half joking after years of working with government departments.

Vendors suspend tech orders as Brexit slaps Brit pound

Immenseness
Flame

Bah Humbug

I think it is less knee-jerk and more the guillible (including our pension funds) buying and selling by the bucketload as they are told to, like good little boys and girls (ooh look - uncertainty! Better sell that, here let me take it off your hands and sell you this instead), with the usual rich greedy gobshites playing the system and taking money out of our pension funds on each transaction.

When the market goes up - the rich greedy gobshites make a profit. When the market down the same rich greedy gobshites make a profit and guess who has to stand the loss? The rest of us in one way or another.

US Senate strikes down open-access FBI hacking warrant by just one honest vote

Immenseness
Big Brother

"We need to keep the pressure on & advocate for policies that advance security & liberty."

A finer example of Newspeak I have yet to see.

Dell tempts hordes with MASSIVE DISCOUNTS on PCs

Immenseness
Pint

Confused

"Dell tempts hoards with MASSIVE DISCOUNTS on PCs"

Tempts or hoards? Is there a comma missing, or did you mean hordes?

Maybe beer will help. It will certainly help me anyway, beers all round!

How to overcome objections that stop your enterprise from adopting DevOps

Immenseness
WTF?

Re: Enough already!

"Netflix are practically the poster child of DevOps"

That would be the kids who wrote the netflix app for my Roku then. The Roku, with a great pause screensaver, that is suspended by the Netflix app and replaced with its own, which skillfully slowly fades the whole screen down after a couple of seconds on pause, EXCEPT for the film title and progress bar which are left in full on, brilliant white, at static locations to burn the screen. Nice one guys, way to miss the point! But I am sure it was developed quickly using DevOps. Shame they can't fix it as quickly, but despite all the complaints to them, they seem to think it is "cool" the way it is. Hint - screen savers are to save screen burn, not to practice cool fades and effects. My plasma is showing burn where the titles are displayed already and I now have to switch the damn thing off whenever Netflix is on pause now. That will be progress then.

Sorry, someone mentioned the keyword, rant off, beers all round. :-)

Neighbour sick of you parking in his driveway? You'd better hack-proof your car

Immenseness

Re: Sticking with classic cars...

Agree totally.

"designed to block attacks from ever infiltrating the car's controller area network (CAN Bus). The technology ensures that only explicitly allowed code and applications can be loaded and run on the controller,"

I can hardly bring myself to ask the question about who thought it was a good idea to allow any old code and applications to run there, or to allow commands from anything other than the other core safety components of the car design in the first place. Oh wait, I think I answered my own question.

Loved one just died? Pah, that's nothing

Immenseness
Pint

Re: Progress Bars

"Hurtling towards the 95% done mark then stalling for hours rather undoes the benefits."

As does moving uniformly to 100% then going back to the start! Again... and again...

Where's the beer?!

Retailers urged to create 'CCTV-like' symbol to inform customers of mobile tracking

Immenseness

Re: Not to defend the app-peddlars, but...

"if it shows that a lot of people keep going back and forth between different points, it could suggest that they could change the layout of items on shelves to make store navigation more efficient"

You have it backwards. If it shows you nipping in for 2 things next to each other and leaving straight away, they will move them to opposite sides of the store so you pass, and are tempted by, more of their goodies. They want you to wander around having to read and look at things, not be in and out in a flash with just what you went in for.

Fixing Windows 10: New build tweaks Edge, sucks in Skype

Immenseness
Coat

Re: Default definition @smudge

I'm waiting for some bright spark to think it is a good idea to have a second default printer, followed by another enhancement where you can have as many default printers as you choose (more is better, right?).

Lastly there will be an app to allow you to choose one of your default printers to use by default...

Microsoft, Tesla, build battery that knows how much (energy) you suck

Immenseness
Thumb Up

Current trade offs

"overcome current trade-offs"

Love it. :-)

Find shaving a chore? Why not BLAST your BEARD off with a RAYGUN

Immenseness

Re: @Tom 38

They might be like LED lamps which are supposed to last the same sort of time.

In lamps, they refer to the led, which may indeed last that long, but the cheap, deathtrap, underrated power supplies they throw in to drive the LED don't last that long. I bought 8 GU10 LED lamps and all bar one are dead after less than 12 months of normal use. Dreadful. They should have to state the lifetime of the whole thing, not just the longest lasting component.

At least the razor is battery operated and low voltage, so as long as the rest of the electronic driver circuitry is rated at 50,000 hours too, they may have a chance for that claim.

Controversial: The future is data integrity, not confidentiality

Immenseness

Re: @Pete H

" Total effort to sort it out - one 30 minute phone call, 30 minutes to write a letter, and 26p for a stamp. Hardly the end of the world ..."

Maybe not for an articulate, intelligent person, but not everyone is. For some that could have been very difficult and a huge worry because they don't have the capabilities that you have.

By the way, stamps have not been 26p for quite some time. 63p first class these days!

Let’s hear it for data scientists! Making our lives more and more frictionless

Immenseness

Re: Frictionless my - ooh look! A kitten! You like kittens don't you?

"You missed the point a little"

Not really, although thanks for the elaboration. My point was, that just because I have been looking for <whatever>, over however long a period of time, and across however many sites, or that I am a member of whatever society, or demographic, it doesn't necessarily follow that I am coming to your site to find that today. I could be browsing for something different, or nothing in particular. Drowning me in stuff relating to something I "normally" look for prevents me from broadening my horizons by seeing the breadth of other, unrelated and possibly interesting things you may have, which are unrelated, but which may also interest me.

Immenseness

Frictionless my - ooh look! A kitten! You like kittens don't you?

What the marketing dorks don't seem to realise is that the problem with all this targeted stuff is that it actually reduces the chances of me buying something from you. If I go to your site just to have a look around, to see what you sell, and to see if anything you do is in any way interesting to me, and all I see are adverts for irons or toasters, because that was what I searched for (and maybe bought) on the last site, then I will think you are just another site flogging irons and toasters and go away none the wiser as to what other interesting stuff you may have, and that I may wish to buy. I'll go to a site that doesn't pester me, and find it there. It feels like they have perfected "Just Too Late" advertising.

Hint: I know how to search for myself thank you, just make your website easy to navigate and quit with the animated crap floating down the screen or scrolling past in a carousel with simulated inertia.

11 MILLION VW cars used Dieselgate cheatware – what the clutch, Volkswagen?

Immenseness
Flame

Re: European testing - are petrol-fuelled cars are also affected?

"There is no evidence that manufacturers cheat the cycle,"

Whenever I hear that phrase "there is no evidence that blah blah" I hear weasels. They are not saying it is not true, just that there is no evidence (yet), so if and when the evidence is later found, they can claim they didn't lie about knowing earlier.

Right, opt out everybody! Hated Care.data paused again

Immenseness

Re: sold?

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2014-02/07/a-simple-guide-to-care-data - it seems to depend on your definition of sold..

From that:

Is the data being sold?

Approved organisations that access the data will have to pay a fee (of between £800 and around £10,000 depending on which dataset is accessed). Critics say this means your data is being sold, but HSCIC insists this is a processing cost and that it won't be making any profit -- it's merely covering costs (which might seem quite high). The companies that extract the data will be able to use it for profit-making initiatives.

Immenseness

Re: Is it time to put down this terminally ill scheme?

"Gordon 10 care.data is for *secondary purposes* - not direct patient care."

This.

Big trouble in big China: Crashing economy in Middle Kingdom body slams US tech stocks

Immenseness
Flame

Re: burn baby burn

Upvote for the best description ever of the interaction of modern economies!

What really bugs me though is that the super slick traders dumping the stock are effectively making the prices fall, and then they will buy it all back again at the bottom of the slump, bringing prices back up again and making a fortune in the process, for them and all the other bloodsuckers hanging onto their coat tails, who buy and sell in smaller amounts, but amounts much larger than anything any of us could afford of course, while the people running our pension funds try and second guess the well planned "crash" and whether to hold on or sell in order to not lose too much of our bloody penison pots to said bloodsuckers.

When it is all over, the world for normal people who trade in *actual* things and services, will, as usual, be much the same place as it was before, but their future pensions will be smaller, their savings if they have any will be worth a bit less, and the the rich guys will be even richer as the money once again moves from poor to rich. Marvellous.

Android faces SECOND patching crisis, on the same scale as Stagefright

Immenseness
Pint

Re: Wow - I'm worried!

Unfortunately, it follows the daily fail/BBC standard format for an article:

1. You should be scared because this is bad, really, really bad

2. It is even worse than this other bad thing.

3. It is about to get much worse than that.

So formulaic. It is almost as predictable as the format of just about any blog/supposedly informative article, for example, how do I turn my phone on:

You have come here asking the question "how do I turn my phone on"

In this article we will show you in easy steps how to turn on your phone.

Just follow our simple guided pictures or click on the link to view a video (where this all starts again but with someone with an annoying voice telling you the same things in a really patronising way over some loud and inapproriate music, with long, willy waving, intro titles and end titles)

When you have finished reading this article you will know how to turn on your phone.

Step 1: Press the button

That's it! You now know how to turn on your phone. Thanks for reading/ watching Don't forget to like us on farcebook and look at our many other helpful articles.

How are we doing? Do you mind completing a short survey before you go?

Bugger off already!!!!

Sorry, seem to have slipped off onto a rant there - beers all round to compensate? :-)

For fax's sake: Medic chaos as e-Referrals system goes offline

Immenseness
Flame

Re: Was never un-cocked before.

"It's no longer allowed. All referals have to come from a GP because it's their budget that pays for it."

I think it is worse than that, it is a side effect of the target culture. There are guarantees for minimum wait to see a specialist, say n weeks. Having the target is meant to improve service, but instead of making the wait shorter, it tends to make the wait to a see a specialist more uniformly just under n weeks for everyone. No one wants to bust their figures, so they insist on going back to the start (GP) each time, where, coincidentally, the clock gets reset.

That way, if you need to see 3 specialists, it magically takes 3 * n weeks, and hey presto, all targets are met, and the politicians can crow about success, yet the patient waits 3 times as long. The law of unintended consequences once again.

MONSTROUS iPhone sales are CANNIBALIZING iPads, gabbles Apple CEO

Immenseness
Coat

Re: Cool

"The reason that iPads and iOS are suitable for musicians is that because corners were not cut in their development"

I thought Apple patented the process of cutting the corners (and rounding them off)?

Ok, I was getting it anyway..

Wi-Fi hotspots can put iPhones into ETERNAL super slow-mo

Immenseness
Happy

Another

My favourite was the old "I'm not really clever enough to write a virus, so please forward this email to all your friends, and then delete the contents of the windows folder" email I received years ago.

Brilliant.

Bulk interception is NOT mass surveillance, says parliamentary committee

Immenseness
WTF?

Re: Nice whitewash, Hazel...

She also displayed her fine committees understanding of the issue (while laughing almost constantly throughout and generally making light of the situation) by explaining in a condescending way to those worrying that the agencies were slurping all of our data, that:

"the internet consists of over 100,000 fibre optic cables and the agencies can only access a few of those".

Well colour me reassured and relieved.

It beggars belief that these ill educated (at least in IT) people are making decisions about all of our lives.

MP resigns as security committee chair amid 'cash-for-access' claims

Immenseness
WTF?

Re: And when they leave the service of the public...

What really got to me about this was hearing one of them yesterday being really bullish and stating vehemently that he was appalled about his disturbing behaviour, and had referred himself to the parliamentary standards committee forthwith (or words to that effect) and didn't seem to see any problems at all with joining in the indignation that everyone else was expressing, as if it were about someone elses behaviour. I wasn't sure whether to doubt my own sanity or theirs.

Microsoft: You want on-prem wares, UK.gov? We'll make you pay

Immenseness
Big Brother

"enabling our UK Public Sector customers to move to the cloud"

Isn't newspeak marvellous?

BBC: SOD the scientific consensus! Look OUT! MEGA TSUNAMI is coming

Immenseness
Coat

Re: The BBC science coverage is useless ...

Always presenting the "statistics" in three meaningless and incomparable forms of precision stopped me listening.

"In the 1980s, 30% of people did X, while in the 1990s it was 1 in 5. Now just 13 people do X."

That, or like the recent HRT/ovarian cancer risk increase where they scarily suggest "An extra 1 in every 1000 women will get cancer if they take HRT". The baseline, in the same piece for women already known to be at risk of breast cancer through taking HRT was "just a handful per 1000".

Mine is the one where 50% of the pockets are empty, while 1 in 2 pockets contains nothing but fluff and 1 pocket doesn't have anything in it.

Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

Immenseness
Coat

Re: Julian Huppert

"a new motion" - I'm pretty sure that is not allowed to be shown either. I'll get my coat.

Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Immenseness
Pint

Bloody progress bars

I remember when progress bars started at 0 and when they got to 100% the task was complete. It provided an admittedly rough indication of progress and how far it had got along the road to completion.

Then I think it was somewhere around Windows 95 era when they wanted to make the installations look snappier. Where they used to take 10 mins of a progress bar creeping across the screen agonisingly slowly, they were replaced with new go-faster ones that got to the end in about a minute but then started again... and again... so you have no effin clue how much "progress" has been made. All you have is a little animated thing to watch that means bog all in relation to progress. Ditto with bloody java wheels. Bring back the PROGRESS bar!

</rant>

The only answer is for everyone to have a beer that automatically refills each time we empty it while we are waiting!

GCHQ and Cable and Wireless teamed as Masters of the Internet™

Immenseness
Coat

Re: "Vodaphone...""..has denied the GCHQ had direct access to its network"

Is it only me for whom the word "direct" leaps out and does a little dance then hides shyly amongst the other words? It is? Oh, I'll get my coat...

Ofcom snatches 700MHz off digital telly, hands it to mobile data providers

Immenseness
Devil

I can

"we could do away with at least 50% of the available digital TV channels without any loss"

I agree, except they won't. Don't you know consumers want choice (tm)? They will reduce the bandwidth available to each channel instead and anything remotely watchable at the moment will be youtube quality again. It is called progress. Sigh!

GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

Immenseness
Thumb Up

Re: OOPS! Why it could or couldn't

I am fascinated by the 3 legged lady centre shot in the second link. She looks like a fun person.

Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE

Immenseness
Coat

Re: aware of the benefits of 4K

The problem is though, now we all have (relatively) good quality TVs, what do the production companies do? "Ooh, look, we can blur the whole screen except for the lips of the person who is speaking, let's do that all the time.", or "Ooh, look we can use a depth of field 1mm deep and have someone whose face is side on with their nose in focus and their ear out of focus, let's do that all the time". Or "Let's shoot everything against a bright window/light with lens flare if possible, and no fill in lighting so the faces are grainy, if you can make them out at all"

These effects are good, and have a place, but I feel sorry for the set dressers/costumiers who take the time to make a scene authentic and then all you see in the final piece is a blurry background that could have been anything, and don't get me started on "fight" scenes/car chases that consist of people doing not very much at all, while the camera is waggled around violently - it might be cheap, but it is no match for a properly choreographed and well shot scene.

Then there is the sound - Sound effects and music really really loud - speech really really quiet and with the treble turned down so it is hard to make out, often both simultaneously. Oh, and don't forget to get the actors to mumble and whisper incoherently, especially when their faces are turned away so you can't lip read either.

Sadly, no amount of decent telly fixes those, but if they transmitted stuff that demonstrated how good things could be, rather than transmitting blurry crap that looks equally bad on anything, they may have a chance in pushing the tech. Sorry, unintentional rant over. Mine is the one you can hardly see, hanging in front of that window with the sun streaming through it.

Swell. Apple buys 'Pandora-for-talk-radio' app... for $30 meeellion

Immenseness

Sigh

"you don’t have to make decisions about what to listen to. Swell figures it out for you.”

I can't really be bothered to listen to it myself. When will someone make an app that figures out what I should listen to and listens to it for me as well?

</ffs>

New Bluetooth tech lets you control 4 BILLION lightbulbs at once

Immenseness

Re: Why?

"LED Lights are supposed to last... well forever"

They don't. The LEDs themselves might but the cheap, rubbish, built in supplies last no longer than the average tungsten bulb in my humble experience. I won't be buying any more LED lamps until the power supplies improve. I'd like to see trading standards prosecuting a few suppliers for supplying LED lamps that don't last for the claimed 60 years, or even 1 year. How they can get away with it is outrageous. They are so careful to say the LEDs (which the average person will take to mean the whole lamp) will last a lifetime while no mention of the power supplies. The should be made to state the the expected lifetime of the whole unit including both.

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