* Posts by Chunky Munky

43 posts • joined 11 Oct 2013

Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Re: You would have thought ...

See ------------------------------------------------->

UC Berkeley reacts to 'uni Huawei ban' reports: We unplugged, like, one thing no one cares about

Chunky Munky

That's on the back of 200 billion smartphones (revenue more than US$50 billion) shipped last year

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Chunky Munky
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Not sure...

I've lost count of the number of laptop keyboards I've had to replace in my present school, either through keys and the little rubber nipples under them mysteriously going missing (it was there last night but not this morning, honest!) to having laptops destroyed by everything from coke to coffee - again never the users fault as they don't drink (enter beverage of choice here).

Saying that, I did meet possibly the most honest person in the country a few months back - she brought her laptop into the lab and right out said she'd broken her laptop 'cos she's spilt lemonade over it and to let her know the cost of replacing it which she'd pay as it was entirely her fault. As she is one of the most undemanding 'power' users out there and always makes sure we have cake and biscuits at the end of term / birthdays / Christmas etc, her laptop was 'inadvertently' classified as failing through normal wear and tear, so she was issued a nice shiny new one with the admonition to keep all liquids well away from it.

Time for a cracker joke: What's got one ball and buttons in the wrong place?

Chunky Munky
Pint

Proof positive

https://dilbert.com/strip/1996-05-02

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

Chunky Munky
Devil

I like to think that maybe they need a high five.......

In the face..........

With a chair!

Pasta-covered cat leads to kid night operator taking apart the mainframe

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Re: Sorry.

See Icon --->

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette

Chunky Munky
Coat

Journey have since been in contact to say that you can now stop believing

Grabs coat and runs for the door

Chunky Munky
Holmes

I concur

Oh Smeg! Hacked white goods maker resurfaces after system shutdown

Chunky Munky
Coat

Now I've got a yearning for a triple decker fried egg chilli chutney sandwich. I'm sure I've got one in my pocket---->

Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Chunky Munky

NEVER assume the architect knows best! The school I work at has just had a building erected, one of the prime features is a light & airy glass walled atrium. As this was to be used as a meeting point/social area for older students, good WiFi coverage was essential. I requested a minium of 4 access points, one in each corner of the room, 2 - 3 metres from ground level. The architect knew better and instructed the builders to install them at roof height (2 storey building) & behind the false ceiling so they couldn't be seen as they would ruin the buildings asthetic (?). Unfortunately, the false ceiling had aluminium covered tiles and so formed a lovely Faraday cage.

The builders were less than happy with having to move them :)

Mamma Mia! UK film fans forced to Q as Vue's website craps itself

Chunky Munky
Pint

Does Chapter Arts Ctr in Canton not have a cinema anymore? Many's the happy hour I spent there as a lad. with a brew or two in the bar after

GDPR forgive us, it's been one month since you were enforced…

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

So can someone explain to me why Virgin(ontheridiculous)Media are still making you opt OUT of marketing spam, rather that the opt IN (as I understand it) that GDPR is supposed to enforce?

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Chunky Munky
Pint

Re: Eviscerated!

+1 and a pint for the Pratchett reference

Priceless: The cost to BT for bothering you with spam? 1.5 UK pence per email

Chunky Munky

First class, of course!

Apple MacBook butterfly keyboards 'defective', 'prone to fail' – lawsuit

Chunky Munky
Paris Hilton

Re: Quote of the year...

As my daughter would say - LOL!

Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech

Chunky Munky
Big Brother

As one of the ever shrinking minority who don't have a mobile phone (or use farcebook, twatter etc), can I assume that the powers that be will also be making plans to issue me with the latest shiny, gratis along with all costs paid?

Score one for the bats and badgers! Apple bins €850m Irish bit barn bid

Chunky Munky
Boffin

0.36W???? They could generate more power by scuffing their feet on a nylon carpet

New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

Chunky Munky
IT Angle

Bloody peasant!

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Chunky Munky
Pint

Re: Am I the only one

You're not the only one - I thought it too. ----> Have one on me

UK Parliament roars: Oi! Zuck! Get in here for a grilling – or you'll get a Tower of London tour

Chunky Munky
Pint

Re: fail

I'm with you on this, so my shout

Maplin shutdown sale prices still HIGHER than rivals

Chunky Munky
Unhappy

Re: Just another symptom

The only reason I use WHS is that they're the only shop around here that stocks Railway Modeller. I did try ordering it from the local newsagent, but that was a complete non-starter

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Chunky Munky
Meh

Re: Bullshit.

"Surely this is just made up."

Why? Just remember that everytime a designer makes makes something idiot proof, God creates a better idiot!

Lloyds Banking Group to splash £3bn on tech

Chunky Munky
Coat

Re: How secure is my financial information?

I'm with you on that - lemme just grab me coat

Proposed Brit law to ban b**tards brandishing bots to bulk-buy tickets

Chunky Munky

Re: There is advance sales and advance sales

Aussie PF perhaps? I booked my tickets to see them in Reading next November at the start of December - 11 months ahead ffs!

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

Chunky Munky
Coat

Re: @Prst. V.Jeltz

Been there, had the conversation with the users (plural as I spoke to 3 of them). After asking the usual gamut of question including 'Is it turned on?' I still couldn't figure out why the users PC wasn't working (the fault call stated that the PC wasn't working but all the lights were on). Duly authorised to jump in the car and spend an hour driving across London, only to get to site and find... yup - the PC wasn't turned on! The lights that were on was the power light on the monitor

Icon as I eventually took my coat and walked

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Chunky Munky
Devil

Re: you touched it last

"not my problem, we have a guy for that" - oh how I can agree with that. The school I work at had an intake of new teachers at the start of September, most newly qualified & straight out of uni. One of them decided that the IT support dept (me) was there to do everything concerning IT. The classic was 'I need file 'x' moving from the Maths dept folder to the Temporary network folder by 2pm today (this was at 1:45). When I phoned him and asked what his problem was (I was thinking lost network connection on the laptop or mebbe the wireless was down???) I was told that 'moving files is IT's job, I'm a teacher so I teach, you're IT so do IT stuff!'

Needless to say the file got 'lost' in the move

Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Chunky Munky
Joke

Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

Jasper Carrott has a lot to answer for

Science fiction great Brian Aldiss, 92, dies at his Oxford home

Chunky Munky
Coat

Re: Hothouse

Agreed - I'm sure it's on my reader somewhere

Uneasy rest the buttocks on the iron throne. Profits plunge 14% at Sky UK and Ireland

Chunky Munky
Unhappy

What has Swindon ever done to deserve him?

Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

Chunky Munky
Joke

--Not really. I can drive my car either from my drivers' seat or the front passenger seat thanks to the placement of my hand controls.--

That's nothing - my mother-in-law was able to drive my car from any seat in the vehicle, provided I was behind the wheel :(

User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Re: Government staff: need I say more?

Not 5 minutes ago I received something similar.

Them:'My wireless keyboard isn't working - come and fix it right away!'

Me: 'What PC are you using?'

Them: 'Mine'

Me: 'Then how are you typing?

I'm still waiting on the reply

Virgin Media cuts 250 jobs amid £3bn Project Lightning cockup fallout

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Re: Oh Good grief!

Talk talk - not even once!

Dixons Carphone stirs PC Curry, reports 10% profit gravy

Chunky Munky

Re: They have their uses

Been there - had the washer die at midnight on friday

Waiting on the doorstep of the local Euronics store at 9am.

Delivered, installed & washing again by 2pm Saturday afternoon :)

OK, so I paid £10 over the odds, but it would of cost me more than that to get rid of the dead one

Fighter pilot shot down laptops with a flick of his copper-plated wrist

Chunky Munky

School hols :)

If you smash up a printer and there's no one to hear, does it still make a noise?

[/zen]

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Similar position at my present school. Every month the cheque run would grind to a halt due to issues with the printer - the usual sort of issues associated with an old, cheaper mono laser, not pricking up paper, inconsistent toner delivery, jammed paper. Many times I recommended replacing the printer, usually after pulling out bits of shredded cheque from the innards, only to be told there was no money in the budget.

One momentous day I happened to be in the office when they started the cheque run. Cue office lady counting out 4 (yes 4!) pre-printed cheque sheets (the type printed on A4 where the top is a summary of what the cheque was and the cheque itself at the bottom with a perforated area to tear off the cheque) and putting them into the paper drawer after first removing the existing paper. Print run was duly started and presto!, the first cheque gets chewed up.

After she'd calmed down I asked why she only did the run in batches of 4. 'Oh, that's all we need to do each month - everyone else is paid by BACS' Off I trot to the stationary cupboard, select a black ball point pen, return to office and present it to her, suggesting that this method may be a quicker, cheaper and less stressful way of generating the 4 cheques needed each month.

2 weeks later I took the printer away and quietly beat the crap out of it with a 3 pound lump hammer!

Virgin Media resolves flaw in config backup for Super Hub routers

Chunky Munky

Re: "Virgin rolled out a patch last month."

"by powering the hub down for a minute then turning it back on again."

Have you been reading from their (no)helpdesk script?

Sweaty fitness bands fall behind as Apple Watch outpaces sales

Chunky Munky
Unhappy

I miss pebble :(

Shooting org demands answers from Met Police over gun owner blab

Chunky Munky
Holmes

When I moved into the current abode many moons ago, I got the local crime prevention chappie in to give me some advise re burglar alarms etc. When asked to recommend a company he replied they weren't allowed do that. Have things changed so much in the last 20 years that plod can now act as an agency promoting goods and services. If so, can they recommend a good curry house in the Reading area?

'Hey, Homeland Security. Don't you dare demand Twitter, Facebook passwords at the border'

Chunky Munky
Stop

Re: Trips

Agreed. 'Er indoors retires at Christmas and we're going to celebrate with a 'once in a lifetime' trip. The short list was Grand Canyon/Vegas/San Francisco etc or New Zealand. The US trip would have allowed us to spend more time there for the available budget. However, we're now off to the travel agency at the end of the month to book the New Zealand adventure

PC sales sinking almost as fast as Donald Trump's poll numbers

Chunky Munky
Coffee/keyboard

I've had the same broom for years!

Agreed. My PC is at least 10 years old, but in that time it's had 3 new PSUs, bigger HDDs, an SSD, a new mobo with upgraded processor & memory & just last Christmas a shiny new graphics card. I'm picking up a new keyboard & mouse on my way home tonight (all the characters have worn off the keyboard) as a treat because I've been such a good boy recently! The only thing that hasn't been changed is the case, but it's the same PC I've had for at least 10 years :)

Wake up, sheeple! If you ask Siri about 9/11 it will rat you out to the police!

Chunky Munky
Happy

...and not forgetting the classic

Homer Simpson holding phone to ear: Operator? Quick, give me the number for 9-1-1

Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Chunky Munky
Thumb Up

Chunky Munky

Just checked the indiegogo page and they're at £105k of their £100k target - after 3 days!

Post-PC world? POST-MAC WORLD more like

Chunky Munky
Facepalm

Re: New Mac Pro

Is it just me, or does that look like a part used bog roll?

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