* Posts by Myvekk

153 posts • joined 27 Sep 2013


BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol


I am reminded of the phone menu from Zork: Grand Inquisitor, for summoning Charon to take you over the river Styx...


What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs


Reply Icon "Erm, no, the moral is never to visit the U. S. of A."

"Does my travel insurance cover false arrest, & at least 3 months of false imprisonment?"

A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running


Re: When you're set up to fail...

"She had plans to get more budget... waiting for the ultimate clusterFcsk to cry to her superiors. She just couldn't trust the n00b on the team to keep the secret?"

It's hard to keep a secret when you haven't been told what it is you are not supposed to let people know!

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds


Re: Sympathy for any employee, anywhere, since time began ...

@Anonymous Custard

Well, the best way to learn something is to teach it... And the more stupid the students, the better you learn it!

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you


Re: Sometimes violence is the only answer

-Just remember, violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. The rest of us don't wait until it's the only option. (an old ASR sig)

Maxim 6: If violence isn't your last resort, you didn't resort to enough of it.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries.


Re: Sometimes violence is the only answer

Give me a mouthful of hammers,a chainsaw, and oh! You got me the red scooter!


- Sgt Schlock

BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs


I never before realised how synonymous Database Normalisation Warning was to Defenestrating...

Crappy upload speeds a thing of the past in fresh broadband 'net spec


I'm just holding out for the day I can reliably break 10Mbps...

nbn™ adds premises to FTTC, HFC, slims down FTTN build


<quote>According to this article, only 6% of FTTN connections are less than <25Mbps. Interestingly 32% are > 75Mbps.</quote>

I'm sure that is correct, and agree. I'm not arguing with you because I'm not talking in general. I'm talking about the specific local area FTTN connections that have had quite a few issues with it, so would be over-represented in that 6%.

<quote>I'd suggest that congestion caused by ISPs not purchasing sufficient CVC to sell unlimited plans.</quote>

I also agree that congestion due to unsufficient capacity on the part of the RSPs is the main cause of low speed throughput, but that doesn't explain constant dropouts and low SYNCH speed, which is what the locals complained of. Both of which occurr on ADSL, ADSL2/2+ connections as well.

I have no problem with FTTN, as long as the copper is up to the task. Sadly in my area it is not even up to ADSL2/2+ and those first ones who got the FTTN connections have paid the price. The upside for the rest of us is that the nbn has realised just how poor a condition the copper is in & has upgraded us to FTTC. And brought the installation forward by a year. Bonus!


I'm just happy to see I'm in an area that was switched from FTTN to FTTC. They were in the street run ning pullthroughs last week.

Hapy, largely because it means I might be able to get better than 8Mbit/s sync speed. The copper around here is so bad that I can't keep synch with ADSL2 profiles & have to run a G.DMT (ADSL1) profile. As an added bonus, it usually synchs & transfers data faster than the ADSL2 profiles do...

People who are in the areas that already got connected with FTTN have been having lots of issues with loss of synch low synch speeds & poor throughput due to the poor condition of the old copper.

'Bio-hacker' embeds public transport ticket under his skin


They did indeed cancel the card on his account.

Unfortunately the one in his hand was an unregistered one and they cannot cancel it, since they have no idea which one it is. He just has to go to a machine to top it up.

Why is it that geeks' favourite enemies are... other geeks?


Re: The trouble with techies

Especially when the tool is a (L)user. Or should that be, the (L)user is a tool?



Re: RPN versus algebraic

I had an RPN calculator.

As a friend said when I was using it in the '90s, "The best thing about having an RPN calculator is that no-one will steal it. Because they won't be able to figure out how to use it...."



Re: Feh

You fool!

Galaxy Quest was obviously the best!


Re: Surely it's because only other geeks can be worthy adversaries

[quote]There's no point in taking on clueless users. They are not worthy adversaries.

Today is a good day to die. Qapla'[/quote]

I much prefer the ancient dwarfish battle cry, "T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't!"

Which translates as the far more sensible desire, "Today is a good day for someone else to die!"

Thank you, Sir Pterry.

Hell desk to user: 'I know you're wrong. I wrote the software. And the protocol it runs on'


Re: Just imagine the Emacs helpdesk

Emacs was written by Bob The Builder?

Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October


"There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole. Killed 10 billion people."

"What a waste."

"Yeah. Only scored 30 points, too."

Thank you Douglas Adams!

Medicare data leaks, but who was breached?


"Can't stop the signal, Mal"

Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos


So, if it looks further away when in the air, does that mean the software also thinks it is bigger? It seems to be assuming that whatever it is detecting is on the ground, so being in midair puts it 'further away' in the image?

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee


Nie Moj Cyrk,

Nie Moje Malpy!



Re: Wait a minute

Just remember; you can, as long as it is an AIRTIGHT cupboard...

And there are no witnesses, (outside the cupboard).

When we said don't link to the article, Google, we meant DON'T LINK TO THE ARTICLE!


Re: Not so easy...

@ Notas Badoff

You need to get your facts straight! We are at war with Eastasia and always have been!


Re: This will be tough...


I think he was referring to political lobbying in the form of the professional's who lobby politicians on behalf of companies etc & make large financial donations in order to sway siad politicians to promote their cause in cabinet/senate/house of reps/focus group/whatever.

Ever wonder why those Apple iPhone updates take so damn long?


Re: no no no no no no no, Apple

@DougS - "There was no risk with what they did, ..."

"And it likely explains why Apple had to put out a 10.1.1 update just a week after the massive 10.1 update, *because people were continuing to report serious problems*."

Sysadmin finds insecure printer, remotely prints 'Fix Me!' notice


Re: Start in a subtle way


BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back


Re: At last, the circle is complete...

Just as long as you know where your towel is!

Sysadmin 'trashed old bosses' Oracle database with ticking logic bomb'


The thing is, we only hear about the ones who get caught. And they are the ones that make stupid mistakes.

This goldfish and its steerable robot tank will destroy humanity


Minion? Is that you?

Well, at least now we know where Megamind is studying...

Auto emissions 'cheatware' scandal sparks war of words between Italy, Germany


Re: Don't Mention it....


Botched Microsoft update knocks Windows 8, 10 PCs offline – regardless of ISP


Re: Only Britain? Short answer: No.


What other branch of engineering allows so many to believe "Build Now, Plan Later" is a recipe for anything but disaster?


Looked at the vehicle and roads industry lately? Initially it was built ad hoc, & later planned but added to the original layout. Just look at how the London streets run!

Operating systems have grown in the same way. Built up layer upon layer & still having issues from the original design flaws. Same reason for the Y2k panic... "This code will be completely replaced by then!" Nope, just patched & built upon. Windows is not different, nor is Unix, iOS or Linux (which, I believe are respectively, based on it* & designed to be a free 100% compatible alternative to it).

Then you get strange interactions between your new bit of code and something written 10 years ago, that no one remembers even existed...

*I could be wrong, I often am. But you have to go with what you know & just note & question your assumptions as you do...

Sysadmin denies boss's request to whitelist smut talk site of which he was a very happy member


It's not what you know.

It's not who you know.

It's what you know ABOUT who you know...


Re: Shane is a sanctimonius a***

Except that you aren't yelling and can spell, you sound like JIM THE BOSS. You would, "FRIERR HIS ASK!" for following company protocol & not doing what you want. He made the correct decision that it was not appropriate for work or work PCs & left it blocked. Yes, he uses it... FROM HOME.

The mangler can still use it on his personal equipment outside the office, or on his phone. Just not where being scammed or having a trojan installed will directly affect the company.

You want SaaS? Don't bother, darling, your kind can't afford it


Re: Edit record? Wrong name?

Ah yes! Beware the 'Exploits of a Mom'!



Re: This works

"I tell everyone I meet that I'm a complete and utter wanker. Totally true, and it stops the bloody stupid questions and twatty small talk in an instant. I really am a totally unlikeable tool, let me assure you."


But an honest one, at least!

IBM pays up after 'clearly failing' DDoS protection for Australia's #censusfail


"Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM."

Still true today...

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample


So was that him working from the "It seemed like a good idea at the time..." files.

Or, being Friday afternoon & beer-o-clock, "Hold my beer & watch this!" While laughing maniacally about what was going to happen over the weekend?


Re: Experience...

The more specialised training, the less space for 'common' things. Like sense, courtesy etc.

"Here Broomfondle, why didn't we think of that?"

"I guess our minds must be too highly trained, Magicthighs."


Re: Culling the herd...


I have seen & spoken to many people who, when placed in front of a computer, or other piece of "hi-tech" equipment, suffer from a paralytic brain freeze. They suddenly lose all intelligence, problem solving ability & common sense.


Re: Virus on a cd?

There's helping yourself & then there's "helping" yourself...

Oz gummint's de-anonymisation crime is as mind-bendingly stupid as we feared


When security research is outlawed, only outlaws will have security?

And the government. They're here to help, after all...

Kotkin: Why Trump won


Re: Who are the "soft left", the "liberal elite"?

You are quite right about looking behind the man to see who is backing him. Now, look behind Hillary to see the vested interests there & compare. Are either better or worse?

Or were the voters just looking for some 'Hope & Change", from the existing political status quo?


Re: "Hillary would surely have succeeded on competence in any other election, no?"

"There were two other candidates - Martin O'Mally, and Jim Webb. They were totally ignored by the media for the Hill vs Bern show."

Or should that be the 'Bernie Hill Show'? Given all the confounding antics the main candidates in this election were up to suits a Yackety Sax theme tune.


Re: ID

You mean the dead should not be allowed to send in their postal votes?


Re: It's not "why", it's "how"

I understood it from the start. And I don't even live in the U.S., let alone a citizen.

After all, I have read "Bio of a Space Tyrant" by Piers Anthony.


Netflix reminds password re-users to run a reset


Email and password?

More likely, they just checked the email addresses & whoever wrote the message didn't write it clearly enough. Or exaggerated to get people to take it more seriously...

Sextortion on the internet: Our man refuses to lie down and take it


Back in the dawn of the World Wide Web...

This has always been true. Yet people still get caught by it.

Before that, when analogue mobile phones were just begining to become common among the few who could afford them, there were scandals over what was sometimes said. this was because anyone with a radio scanner could hear them. A friend commented to me, "Don't they get it? Never say anything on a mobile that you wouldn't want across the front page of the <major city broadsheet newspaper>."

Is Windows 10 ignoring sysadmins' network QoS settings?


Re: Self appointed Mythbuster to the rescue!

The problem is, that it doesn't work. I have several PCs with 10 installed and they are all set to only share on LAN. They do not upload updates to the internet in general. So far so good.

BUT. They also do not share on the LAN. Each one still downloads all it's updates from outside. And when they do, they frequently saturate the connection so that nothing else can connect in a timely manner. And unless you have Pro or Enterprise you don't have GPedit and cannot rate limit the downloads.


Re: Be quiet citizen

They Live!


I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass! And I'm all out of bubble gum."


BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon


Re: It is the olde story

A few people learn from reading.

Some learn by observation.

The rest just have to piss on the electric fence for themselves."


Re: ergh!

But they COULDN'T have done it.

They are too stupid to figure out how...


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