Posts by redpawn

Full of Regret

If only I'd bought a licence for Linux when it was offered by SCO.

Woe is me. Woe is me.

If only I had a new computer...

Sorry, I'm at a loss for words.

I Do!

And yet I don't want to upgrade. I thought my devotion to Windows 10 was a lifetime commitment. Can I get the assistance of a good priest?

"The ultimate goal is to figure out whether Mars was once habitable"

Is that for safe time travel to Mars?

If I had a Dollar for...

every dollar I didn't have, and a dishonest accountant, I'd be rich. He hired the wrong accountant.

Filling the central void

An office building can only survive so long, without sucking out the souls of workers.

If only

I loved hype more, I'd always be happy.

Paying more makes you

realize the underlying value. Paying more still would be rapture. Sorry but you'll have to wait six months for that.

zombIE

You think you are safe now but hundreds of thousands of zombIEs are out to get you. Be afraid. Be very afraid. They can smell your IT brains.

Better than my car

I get far less than 70% out of the energy I put in. Can I get a trade in?

Quality is job none

Will they even try to notify users of obsolete kit? No updates must mean no problems. Right? Well, for Realtek it does.

You're drilling it wrong.

It's a feature of the martian landscape not a fault.

Cheat in all Cases

I wonder if they use use Alexa and Echo to gather personal info on union organizers in their homes. It would be par for the course for them and there is probably fine print allowing employees to be listened in to for quality assurance purposes.

Best Idea Ever!

To follow up on the theme, I cut holes in all of my pockets and covered my keyboard in old used chewing gum.

Sales fluff

Out of curiosity I tried to access the ISO standard printed on my bicycle trailer. After much searching all I could find related to some published tests done on one trailer. What must my trailer be capable of doing? How strong must it be? No way of knowing.

I must conclude that seeing that products meet a standard that can not be accessed makes the standard meaningless. I am not reassured of safety or efficacy. It just becomes sales fluff to put on a sticker.

Astronauts were

never in any danger, except from micro-meteors, decompression, bad air, fire, radiation, collision and having their station torqued to pieces by a bad module. It's all perfectly safe. Nothing to see here.

Move along. Move along.

Needs a better name

How about Windows Puppy Chow to be followed by Dog Chow, Kitten Chow, Cat Chow...

I keep my immune system

in the freezer. Only thaw and use a little bit when needed. This should help it last as long as possible. However, I keep my beer in the fridge and the kettle on.

But my ISP needs to rip me off

in order to fund politicians and advertisements so they can rip me off some more later on.

Never saw a launch but..

Did see the tank burn up from Mauna Kea on one of the earlier flights. Impressive colour as metals burned across a long arc in the sky, looking like a slow large meteor as it left a short lived train behind.

Shhh. Don't Tell!

Microsoft is already using this in production.

By the time

it returns samples, we will find out if Earth was once habitable.

Ouch!

How much code do they replicate from device to device, or do they write unique bad code for each one? I want network device code to be better than what I write as it is exposed to the world.

Thank You Western Digital

You have restored my faith in you and your ilk. Why don't you just have your devices catch fire and burn down your customers homes instead?

We only dreamed of having a T-shirt when I was young

We had to code 996 just to get an inch of thread and half of that was taken in taxes which we had to walk 50 miles twice a month to pay, up hill both ways in freezing rain. So consider yourselves lucky. Amazon is generosity Corpsonified!

I'm almost as good as an X-ray machine

I predict the presence of broken bones by looking for people wearing casts. Those without, probably don't have broken bones. I have a better than 90% accuracy record and I'm willing to sell the algorithm!

The soil in my part of America

is wet and corrosive. Would it not be better to do it in a chip foundry rather than on dirt?

Just

re-purpose your old apple gear as shims. Remember those old iphones and ipod touches? Oh, you threw them out? Still available on ebay, problem solved.

Is it the Same

Four hundred pound guy living in mom's basement who hacked the Democratic Party? Just ask Putin, Russia is blameless, as always.

Oh the Humanity

Removing the personal touch from McDonalds, what is the world coming to?

Pay to Crim

Genius! So who gets the payments for the AN0M app? How may non-free cousins of AN0M for regular phones exist and does Apple and Google get their cut of the monthly payments?

How about...

Blinking, moving windows and icons with rounded corners while Cortana sings Mr. Tambourine Man accompanied by harmonica. Microsoft has not done with you yet by a long shot!

On average,

It takes 31 repetitions for people to learn something new.

Hey Alexa,

Buy me a doll house!

Safe for Infants!

So that's why iOS works the way it does. Thanks for the explanation Apple.

Never let truth

get in the way of a good story. Appleland is just a garden of generous unicorns, swear to God.

Perhaps,

It is to lay the ground work, so to speak, for better targeted accidents. It couldn't just be irresponsibility on China's part, that would be too embarrassing for a such a superpower.

My...

dick's smaller than your.... I could drill a hole through a Higg's boson.

F- it!

Just sacrifice your retirement for the sake of the economy and buy a new one.

Babies

I read it as "allow babies to snoop on conversations". Should have my tea before reading The Reg.

When will we

have our governments do the same? Though a stopwatch might just need access to your camera and microphone to work properly.