* Posts by redpawn

431 posts • joined 18 Sep 2013

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Chinese web giant finds Windows zero-day, stays schtum on specifics

redpawn
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The price of Freedom

As with the second amendment one can expect casualties using MS products to exercise first amendment rights. This is price for having the freedom to defend yourself or express yourself.

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Hawaii Live-Go! Microsoft launches Honolulu admin tool for cloud and on-prem

redpawn
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Project Honolulu Because?

Hawaii is known for its bureaucracy and inefficiency like Microsoft? Think incoming missile stuff-up and Edge. Or should you think of some of the worst traffic in the country running on crumbling infrastructure.

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'Well intentioned lawmakers could stifle IoT innovation', warns bug bounty pioneer

redpawn
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Stop regulating cars too

I want a Mad Max car and random IoT objects in my house. It would be real cool to have large metal spikes protruding from all sides of my vehicle and to have 21st century pirates in my appliances. Let the free market regulate traffic and tech. End the nanny state and give people the freedom to protect themselves.

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'Our way or the highway' warranty scams shot down by US watchdog: It's OK to use unofficial parts to repair your gear

redpawn
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Because Apple Loves You,

like the controlling spouse who will hit you and lock you out for parking the car in the wrong direction or purchasing petrol from the wrong station. Understand it might appear to be abuse, but it is just love in another form.

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Holy helmets, Batman! Bane-like mask lets you 'talk' to computers without making a sound

redpawn
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Better than shouting at your computer

Time to implant an electrode. For secure communications you would go wired. Otherwise you could broadcast your thoughts to all in range with Bluetooth.

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Intel admits a load of its CPUs have Spectre v2 flaw that can't be fixed

redpawn
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Re: So since Intel have now confirmed that are unwilling to fix...

More like all the cars have a keyless entry system with an alternate entry code of 1111.

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Hold the phone: Mystery fake cell towers spotted slurping comms around Washington DC

redpawn
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Better to let unfriendly entities spy

on US citizens than to allow the people a secure cell phone network. After all "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear" and soon will have nothing which suits the US government as evidenced by their actions.

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Wanna work for El Reg? Developers needed for headline-writing AI bots

redpawn
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Why are

people always so tired on April first?...

Because of the 31 day march. Happy Easter!

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Magic Leap ships headsets at last, but you'll need a safe

redpawn
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I have a safe!

I put an object in front of the closet door and it keeps my cat from peeing there. Is this good enough?

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Amazon warns you have 30 days before Music Storage files bloodbath

redpawn
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Too expensive for Amazon

Sky high storage rates and so few customers poor Amazon is going the way of Sears... Wait what am I thinking it's just greed.

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Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

redpawn
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LSoT

Lying Sack of Trump is in continuous need of deflecting attention from himself so facts don't matter. LSoT pretends to be for the ordinary man, not person, while pushing money into the hands of elites. By the way, LSoT supporters are still waiting for all those coal mining jobs to come back. They are terminal optimists.

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Egg on Cisco's face: Three critical software bugs to fix over Easter

redpawn
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Cisco's ruined Easter for netadmins

True netadmins would rather work on their net than suck eggs for Easter.

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

redpawn
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Re: Yeah... Right

Chances are that they already carry one most of the time. Mine can dial 999 or in the US 911. Just a matter of time before this is used for traffic management, all for your protection mind you.

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Tiangong-1 re-entry window shrinks: Duck from March 30 to April 3

redpawn
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Great images

They look like a sci-fi movie. The video though looks as if China has discovered time space disruption zones near Earth. Perhaps these should be investigated by proper socialists.

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Diplomats, 'Net greybeards work to disarm USA, China and Russia’s cyber-weapons

redpawn
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Nothing is any good

unless you can turn it into a weapon. Nothing to fix here.

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Hip hop-eration: Hopless Franken-beer will bring you hoppiness

redpawn
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Is it Friday already?

I think my calendar has stopped.

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Patch LOSE-day: Microsoft secures servers of the world. By disconnecting them

redpawn
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My Secure Server

is encased in concrete and keeps my boat from drifting.

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Mozilla sends more snooping Web APIs to smartphone Siberia

redpawn
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But my Calculator App

needs access to all sensors to accurately calculate your intentions and return the desired results.

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Air gapping PCs won't stop data sharing thanks to sneaky speakers

redpawn
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I just blow a dog whistle the whole time the computer is on.

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Women of Infosec call bullsh*t on RSA's claim it could only find one female speaker

redpawn
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I can't find any either,

have my ears covered, eyes closed and am shouting "LA LA LA LA LA" over and over again.

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Why, why, Mr American Pai? FCC boss under increasing pressure in corporate favoritism row

redpawn
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What a Guy

Not that his direction is difficult to fathom but does he or his family have a financial interest in the outcome of his decisions?

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We all hate Word docs and PDFs, but have they ever led you to being hit with 32 indictments?

redpawn
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Just Wow

He needed help to convert a Word document back into a PDF. With this administration we are all doomed.

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Tor pedo's torpedo torpedoed: FBI spyware crossed the line but was in good faith, say judges

redpawn
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Michael Fluckiger

is a name that even a writer would not come up with. Truth is sicker than fiction.

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NRA gives FCC boss Ajit Pai a gun as reward for killing net neutrality. Yeah, an actual gun

redpawn
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A Win-Win for all

If you pay him a visit, he can now point his new network fixer at you and ask if you are satisfied with your internet speed. No dissatisfied customers and very happy telcos.

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That microchipped e-passport you've got? US border cops still can't verify the data in it

redpawn
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Re: Solution

Or just have the passport holder raise their right hand.

To get a new one, I turned in the old one and raised my right hand and swore that the information was correct, which made the information correct.

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We sent a vulture to IBM's new developer conference to find an answer to the burning question: Why Big Blue?

redpawn
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Yay Java!

As experts does IBM make better lattes than computers? Are they going into competition with Starbucks?

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Kentucky gov: Violent video games, not guns, to blame for Florida school massacre

redpawn
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Re: Numbers

Dead kids. That's what.

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redpawn
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Guns don't kill people

blood loss and organ failure kills people. Blame the victims.

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Hands up who HASN'T sued Intel over Spectre, Meltdown chip flaws

redpawn
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I'll be waiting

for my four cent check.

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A computer file system shouldn't lose data, right? Tell that to Apple

redpawn
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Beware of Claims

When a product says that it won't stain, it stains. When a pen claims to be leak proof get a pocket protector. When a company brags that quality is job one...

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Oh sh-itcoin! Crypto-dosh swap-shop Coinbase empties punters' bank accounts

redpawn
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Re: Cryptocurrency

but free market and innovation....

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You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

redpawn
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Sex

stains. Get used to it.

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Roses are red, Kaspersky is blue: 'That ban's unconstitutional!' Boo hoo hoo

redpawn
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Re: Russian spies have rights

Of course he can. He is a friend of Putin and when Putin says something, you have to believe him.

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Uh-oh! Someone hit the Kalanick button! Uber's fired CEO claims Waymo deal vindicates him

redpawn
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Always claim total vindication

It works for the powerful including our LSoT (Lying Sack of Trump).

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No yolking matter: Google Translate cock-up gives Norwegians more than un œuf eggs

redpawn
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Only One Order of Magnitude Difference

or to put it simply, one egg.

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Wish you could log into someone's Netgear box without a password? Summon a &genie=1

redpawn
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Who needs security

when all we do is watch cat videos?

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Tech giants' payouts go to everyone but affected citizens. US Supremes now urged to sort it out

redpawn
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Here's my two cents

Google's executives should be required to hand write the four cent checks and deliver them in person.

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US Senate mulls giving Huawei and ZTE the Kaspersky treatment

redpawn
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The solution is...

a large military parade.

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T-Mobile US let hackers nick my phone number, drain my crypto-wallets, cries man who lost $20k

redpawn
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That is not a Wallet

It is a sieve. Use it to strain pasta.

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US broadband is scarce, slow and expensive. 'Great!' says the FCC

redpawn
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Money

As long as it is being made hand over fist, there is no problem.

Campaign donations accepted here.

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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Another Amazon Key door-lock hack

redpawn
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No more breaking

just entering.

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Exoplanets from another galaxy spotted – take that, Kepler fatigue!

redpawn
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Planet-Coin

If these planets could be linked to a blockchain we could trade "ownership" in these planets. New "coins" would be minted as new planets were discovered. This would provide incentive to fund astrophysics and would have a tangible basis.

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Suspicion of villainy leads Facebook to ban cryptocoin ads

redpawn
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Beer Coin

is not a scam.

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FYI: That Hawaii missile alert was no UI blunder. Someone really thought the islands were toast

redpawn
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Just scarier than usual

The sirens go off here, Oahu, for approaching hurricanes and possible tsunamis. Often there is a sub 1ft wave or a not too destructive storm. Every couple of months our phones blare with flash flood alerts which affect parts of the island. Monthly the sirens go off in tests now including the attack warning. On occasion a local siren or two go off for no reason.

Our state is often very inefficient. We feel the need to reinvent everything before deploying it even when others have a successful model.

I was not surprised we would have an error so only thought there was an off chance of casualties other than heart attacks and deaths caused by panic.

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NASA finds satellite, realises it has lost the software and kit that talk to it

redpawn
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Future humans will only find

plastic as evidence that we existed.

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When you play this song backwards, you can hear Satan. Play it forwards, and it hijacks Siri, Alexa

redpawn
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Alexa, purchase a Bit Coin

is the new stealth hit song. Wish I knew how to set it to repeat.

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Nervy nuke-armed nation fires missile with 5,000km range

redpawn
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As long as...

no one tells the Lying Sack of Trump (LSoT) that India isn't Christian there should be no problems.

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Software that predicts whether crims will break the law again is no better than you or me

redpawn
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Just as Good as a Jury

Show respect for your new biased overlords.

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Of course Uber allegedly had a tool to remotely destroy evidence

redpawn
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Good competition for

upstanding companies like Microsoft, Google and Apple. They will have to up their game to keep up.

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CPU bug patch saga: Antivirus tools caught with their hands in the Windows cookie jar

redpawn
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SOP

The only way to keep your computer safe if you are using competing products is to break your computer. You knew from past history this could happen yet you use non MS products.

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