* Posts by Hero Protagonist

210 posts • joined 17 Aug 2013


There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye

Hero Protagonist

Re: Side track for a mo'

To quote Pauli, “that’s not even wrong”

Square peg of modem won't fit into round hole of PC? I saw to it, bloke tells horrified mate

Hero Protagonist

Re: Packard Hell

a.k.a. DWEP: Disassembly With Extreme Prejudice

OK brainiacs, we've got an IT cold case for you: Fatal disk errors on an Amiga 4000 with 600MB external SCSI unless the clock app is... just so

Hero Protagonist

Re: The real mystery is how Paula discovered the clock work around ...

A good start?

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

Hero Protagonist

Dabbling in fields

“We're assuming that the astrophysicist will cease to dabble in fields away from his area of expertise.”

Specifically, magnetic fields

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Hero Protagonist

I hate to break it to you all, but I did a few minutes of research on the etymology and found that apparently the “cheque” spelling only dates to 1828...you know, 50ish years AFTER we threw you lot off. Before that it was spelled “check”. So don’t blame us or Mr. Webster if you decided to invent a new spelling and we ignored it.

Not exactly the kind of housekeeping you want when it means the hotel's server uptime is scrubbed clean

Hero Protagonist

Re: There's a Terry Pratchett Quote for That...

There’s a photo (can’t be arsed to look up a link) of our illustrious Vice President Mike Pence touring some NASA facility (I think building the next Mars rover), lovingly stroking a piece of hardware prominently labeled CRITICAL FLIGHT HARDWARE - DO NOT TOUCH

After 16 years of hype, graphene finally delivers on its promise – with a cosmetic face mask

Hero Protagonist

Tinny, no question about it

Your McDonald's demo has expired. For full functionality, please purchase a licence or try another fast-food joint

Hero Protagonist

Re: I think we need a new acronym... POS is doubly accurate...

Also The Original Series, in the context of a Star Trek discussion

Social media notifications of the future: Ranger tagged you in a photo with Tessadora, Wrenlow, Faelina and Graylen

Hero Protagonist

Re: Vanity names?

“the opposite of a Boy Named Sue”

A Sue named Boy?

Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room

Hero Protagonist

Re: Dont have your machine room at the top of a building

“A queue of bins? Where were they going?”

Waiting to be emptied, Shirley

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

Hero Protagonist

A commenturd is what you’re reading right now

Hero Protagonist

Re: Work

“The curse of the drinking classes.”

Drinking classes? Never needed ‘em, it’s always just come naturally to me.

Found on Mars: Alien insects... or whatever the hell this smudge is supposed to be, anyway

Hero Protagonist

Re: Use the historical documentary evidence

Renamed as Five Million Years to Earth in the US. Loved that movie!

BOFH: Trying to go after IT's budget again?

Hero Protagonist

Re: I dunno...

Are red shirts unusually popular in Midsomer?

We're late and we're unreliable but we won't invalidate your warranty: We're engineers!

Hero Protagonist

Re: I need an electrician

If the OP was competent enough to wire up the door handle without electrocuting himself in the process, he wouldn’t need an electrician

Linky revisited: How the evil French smart meter escaped Hell to taunt me

Hero Protagonist

Re: Guest column

Shorn Connerie was the best James Bond

Behold the perils of trying to turn the family and friends support line into a sideline

Hero Protagonist

Re: Twas ever thus

“Oh for the days of punched cards”

...says the person who never dropped a deck of punched cards

That time Windows got blindsided by a ball of plasma, 150 million kilometres away

Hero Protagonist

Re: Sticky backed plastic

“People think they're hilarious, don't they?”

People don’t realize that the failure mode of “clever” is “asshole”.

Clutching at its Perl 6, developer community ponders language name with less baggage

Hero Protagonist

Re: Why exactly is Perl any worse than Python?

Oh great, Bob’s learned to use bold in addition to uppercase.

WTF is Boeing on? Not just customer databases lying around on the web. 787 jetliner code, too, security bugs and all

Hero Protagonist

Re: certification

But who shall self-certify the self-certifiers?

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

Hero Protagonist

Re: Tracking...

Just pray the transaction is not backed out...

Watch as 10 cops with guns and military camo storm suspected Capital One hacker's house…

Hero Protagonist
Paris Hilton

It’s not at all clear who you are casting as the hero in this little morality tale.

Humans may be able to live on Mars within halls of aerogel – a wonder material that can trap heat and block radiation

Hero Protagonist

Re: "supercritical dryer device"

In a pinch, just use your towel

Must watch: GE's smart light bulb reset process is a masterpiece... of modern techno-insanity

Hero Protagonist

Re: "smarter lighting in every way"

Similar to what they say about airplane landings, any stair descent that you can walk away from is a good one.

Hero Protagonist

Re: Brevity.

God isn’t dead, he just needs a reset. Pray for eight seconds, stop praying for two seconds, pray for eight seconds, ...

Taylor drift: Finally, a use for AI emerges? Cyber-smut star films fsck-flick in Tesla with Autopilot, warns: 'I wouldn't recommend it'

Hero Protagonist
Paris Hilton

Its about time

It was long ago observed that the Models S, 3, X, and Y together spell S3XY (alternatively, write the 3 as III turned sideways as in the TESLA logo)

Are you sure you've got a floppy disk stuck in the drive? Or is it 100 lodged in the chassis?

Hero Protagonist

Re: Ex apple genius.....

So you're saying there's a one-in-million chance of that working?

Foldables herald the beginning of the end of the smartphone fetish

Hero Protagonist

Re: Roller phones are the future!

There was a 90’s sci-fi tv show (I think it was Earth: Final Conflict) that featured communication devices with pull-out roller screens.

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

Hero Protagonist

Re: Time to build it elsewhere

+1 for the Contact reference

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

Hero Protagonist

Look out below!

“There remain very strict rules around flying huge chunks of metal around in the air as they have a tendency to drop to the ground and injure both occupants and passers-by”

Shirley you mean passers-under?

Take my advice and stop using Rubik's Cubes to prove your intelligence

Hero Protagonist

Re: The world turned colour much earlier...

Possibly my very favorite C&H ever

Talk in Trump's tweets tells whether tale is true: Code can mostly spot Prez lies from wording

Hero Protagonist

Another possible explanation for the differences

All the truthful tweets are written by someone other than Trump. So not detecting true/false so much as Trump/NotTrump

Another 3D printer? Oh, stop it, you're killing us. Perhaps literally: Fears over ultrafine dust

Hero Protagonist

Re: n before g

Ignorance is bliss

Hero Protagonist

Re: n before g

“All that horrible use of 'off of' instead of 'from'”

You mean the single occurrence that I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it and I went looking for it? Yeah that was awful.

Astroboffins spot one of the oldest, coolest stars in the universe lurking in the Milky Way

Hero Protagonist

Re: up to 1,000 kelvin (726.85 degrees Celsius).

> Never mind "up to", it is the "up to or more" which is really annoying.

I seem to remember the phrase “up to at least” appearing in in these very pages within the last couple weeks.

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

Hero Protagonist

Re: V.amusing but...

Yes, we must put an End to this practice. Can Any thing be done?

(What, your keyboard doesn’t have an Any key?)

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

Hero Protagonist

“A trip to Wookey Hole“

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves

Apple's launch confirms one thing: It's determined to kill off the laptop for iPads

Hero Protagonist

Re: wait how!?

I assume they streamed it like the rest of us plebes

Motorola: Oops, phone busted? Grab a spudger and go get 'em, champ

Hero Protagonist

The tool kit isn’t the news

The news isn’t that Motorola is selling a toolkit; iFixit includes this exact set of tools with their iPhone screen repair kits (which I was quite pleased with — a nice step up from the tools they used to include). The real news is that Motorola is supplying OEM *parts* to iFixit, instead of iFixit having to source reliable third-party parts

NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

Hero Protagonist

Re: It just make me sad...

No, you read it wrong, it was the moon that was landing on the library power mac. Now THAT would have been spectacular to see!

Docker fave Alpine Linux suffers bug miscreants can exploit to poison containers

Hero Protagonist

As Wallace found out the hard way...


Dinosaurs permitted to mate: But what does AT&T Time merger mean for antitrust – and you?

Hero Protagonist

Re: What does it mean to me?

“this is still a UK based site isn't it?”

You’re just now noticing that the content of this site is not exclusively UK focused?

UK's first transatlantic F-35 delivery flight delayed by weather

Hero Protagonist

Re: Alternatives

“They could have also chosen a shorter route: Alcock and Brown did it 1960 miles, the R34 did it in ~3000 and Lindbergh got to Paris in 3600 miles.”

Ok, sure, but how did they do on the Kessel run?

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Hero Protagonist

What about pointed sticks?

My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?

Hero Protagonist

Re: Entente Cordiale ???

“The probabilities are endless..”

I think you’ll find that the probabilities are not endless but in fact add up to exactly 1.

Another day, another meeting, another £191bn down the pan

Hero Protagonist

I just can’t read Dilbert anymore since Scott Adams became a Trump booster. Uggh.

My PC is broken, said user typing in white on a white background

Hero Protagonist

Re: Black on Black

Black label text in a black icon on a black background, with a black border indicating that the icon is selected?

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Hero Protagonist

Re: Excellent.

Neither did the boss....especially the wheely chair



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