Posts by TitterYeNot

Re: YELLOW paint?

"Or, if you believe the adverts on TV, blue"

It's the Queen's Vagina, so of course, being royal, it should be blue. And what the hell is it doing in France? Has the Palace been informed? Are the pesky French, not satisified with cutting bits off their own royalty, now doing it to ours?

Harumph! I demand an immediate cross-channel expedition to repatriate the Royal Pudenda!

"You two have gone completely quackers!"

Thats a fowl joke! I may have a dabble though...

Re: Mmm...

It's a titty there are so many knockers of this article - do they not realise that many a true word is spoken in chest? Bit of a hooter by El Reg though, they seem to be milking the story for all it's worth.

Ahem...may I express my sincere regret, my sense of humour appears to be heading for rack and ruin...

"a feminist lambasting the project for portraying Philae, which apparently does all the science, as being male while the female Rossetta is merely there in a support role."

Well of course, it makes perfect sense, you don't see Philae sitting on that comet crying and falling in love all the time do you?

OK, OK, I'm going - mine's the one with the #distractinglysexy hashtag in the pocket...

Re: Get a life

"They're MEP's pretty much the most fairly elected and representative politician we'll ever encounter. Just because the UK is full of lunatic xenophobes...."

Ahem, I think you forgot to use the correct icon ->

Re: This is so exciting

"My post above was supposed to be a joke, hence the smiley."

Ah, you should have used the joak icon. People round here sometimes have an inibility to take comments fig-uratively.

Re: "InSight's mission is planned to last two years."

"So what's it going to do for the other 8 years it will actually continue working for?"

It'll sit there muttering repeatedly to itself "Here I am, brain the size of a RAD5500, and they ask me to measure a wobbly planet then hit it with a hammer..."

Re: Her name is Mary

"The woman, who has not been named, could defend herself by claiming the lamb followed her to the brothel"

Mary had a little lamb,

His fleece was white as coke,

And everywhere that Mary went,

She had a little toke.

-

He followed her to work one day,

Which was against the law,

It made the punters howl and bay,

To see him with a whore.

-

And so the rozzers turned it out,

Coz' it was a little runt...

-

No, no, I think I'll stop right there. I don't see a successful career writing childrens' nursery rhymes in my future somehow...

Re: registering domains: "because you're worth it"

"facelikea.horse"

I think that's just an alias for sarahjessicaparker.horse

<coughs>

Re: Mistaken Identity?

More than a mistake, that would be a right howler.

Gibbon that these monkeys can't be sold legally, they'll be safely squirreled away somewhere by now. Hopefully it won't be much langur till they're found...

"And on the horizon, a Bush/Clinton presidential race. It's beyond parody."

I must admit, I applauded the film 'Team America: World Police' as a classic piece of acerbic satire. I never realised it was meant to be a documentary.

"Okay. iWatch owners.....who's strapped it to their knob already.....come on, be honest."

Ahem...iWatch owners do not have knobs - the male of the species has a crown which you have to twist when you need a zoom...

Re: Seen worse in France...

"Yes, 56% of the audience thinks that the Sun is orbiting Earth."

To be more precise, 56% of a French audience thinks that the Sun is orbiting France.

Re: 10 limbs good - 8 limbs bad

"Still using Imperial units when the rest of the world has moved on to the metric Giant Squid?"

I'm afraid the incorrectly named Imperial Giant Octopus (Dodecipus Magnus Imperialis) actually has 12 tentacles, not 8. It is revered in some remote parts of the world as the physical incarnation of the Great Noodly One's offspring, and so there have been many attempts to nail it to large bits of wood. Fortunately, it's too bloody fast...

"Well, British engineering helped to contribute to advances in that field, * cough * Beagle 2 * cough *."

Excuse me old bean, but I think you'll find that Beagle 2 made a superb landing on its intended target, although unfortunately the dratted thing couldn't phone home due to one the solar panel thingies not deploying in ship-shape and Bristol fashion. Bah! Wouldn't have happened in my day.

Indeed, if one requires a stellar example of a probe smearing itself liberally all over another planetary body, one needs look no further than NASA's Mars Climate Orbiter. Harumph! Serves them right for using this new fangled, foreign metric doodah.

So sorry, must go, Veronica's out on the verandah and seems to have run out of gin again.

Yours etc.,

Colonel Algernon Rufford-Buffington (Retired)

Re: Science is self-correcting

Blah blah physics schmysics - all I want to know is where the restaurant at the end of the universe will be and where do I deposit my penny?

Re: Blasphemy

"I'm pretty sure your omnipotent deity can cope with an enterprise tech newspaper using his son's name flippantly."

But but why didn't you use dad's name instead? An even shorter headline to keep your layout tidy, and a priceless opportunity to irritate a whole new set of idiots!*

*No, I do not necessarily consider someone of whichever faith an idiot. I'm referring to idiots of any religion who think blasphemy is an issue, whether it's a word in a website headline, the name of a teddy bear, a cartoon in a magazine, or the contents of a Saudi writer's blog. And I am joking. Well, a little bit anyway...

"What gave it away for me, was this sentence..."

Dear Sir,

Absolute rot! The author clearly means the 4th of January, and is referring to the anniversary of the defeat of Æthelred of Wessex by the Danes at the Battle of Reading.

Couldn't be more obvious as a clue really. Now where's today's crossword?

Yours etc.,

Herbert Smythe-Podderington, Tunbridge Wells

Re: @andrew

"Damn right, they wouldn't want to get lost whilst running away!"

Ahem...it's not running away, it's "advancing in a rearward direction"...