* Posts by Graham Marsden

6927 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

The quest continues for a fondleslab that fondles you back

Graham Marsden

No doubt...

... the Porn Industry will be leading the market again...!

Prankster 'Superhero' takes on robot traffic warden AND WINS

Graham Marsden

If it is not a Penalty Charge Notice...

... tell them to shove it where the sun doesn't shine! (Or, rather, don't even bother to start engaging with them)

Penalty Charge Notices are legally enforceable, Parking Charge Notices, even when tricked up to *look like* they are official fines are nothing more than a scam designed to make you think they are legitimate.

See http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/private-parking-tickets for more details.

Jolly Roger Icon because these scammers are a bunch of pirates...

Life on Mars means subsisting on grim diet of turd-garden spinach

Graham Marsden

@JAX - Re: Wow...

I'm aware that human waste is processed first, apparently there's even a book called "Humanure" that explains how to compost it to turn it into fertilizer.

It seems, howevevr, that a certain El Reg Hack isn't aware of this...

Graham Marsden


You'd think that nobody had thought of the idea of using poo (animal or human) as fertilizer on farms before...

Dark blue side of the Force used to quell Star Wars nerd clash

Graham Marsden

Re: @AC - Slow news day...?

@AC - In which case, you will no doubt be enthralled to know that my neighbour's cat has come back after apparently going missing for a couple of days...

Graham Marsden

@AC - Re: Slow news day...?

I'll answer that as soon as you tell me on what scale this is any form of news at all.

Despite the best efforts of some sub-editor to make this sound exciting ("quell", "furious", "barney", "gatecrash" and even "tense-stand off"!), this is a complete non-story and again I point out that had it not been for the "geeks in funny costumes" aspect it most likely would never have seen the light of day.

Graham Marsden
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Slow news day...?

This story was on the BBC news site yesterday and it's a total storm-in-a-teacup piece of nonsense.

Would it have got any coverage if it was one of the many incidents such as in pubs where a couple of voices get raised and the Police come along and say "ok, just calm down" and nothing more comes of it? No, probaly not, but because it's "oh look, let's laugh at the geeks who dress up in the funny outfits", suddenly it's worth a few column inches.

Big deal.

British LulzSec hackers hear jail doors slam shut for years

Graham Marsden

"jailed for terms ranging from 24 to 32 months"

I bet they're hoping that, like Chris Huhne, they only end up serving a quarter of their sentences inside.

Or aren't they posh/ rich/ well connected enough for that...?

Copyright minister admits: Google has better access to No. 10 than me

Graham Marsden

Re: So what is the difference between No. 10 and 1600 Pennsylvania

@AC Remember that in America you have the choice between voting for the Right Wing Party or the *really* Right Wing Party...

Graham Marsden

@Eadon - Re: Lobbyists Are ANTI-DEMOCRATIC

If you write to your MP or a group of you organise a petition or other such activities, you are *lobbying*! The only difference is the matter of scale.

Now, yes, I agree that nobody, especially corporate lobbyists should pay for expensive dinners or foreign trips or offer any other sort of freebies to influence MPs who are supposed to represent the views of *us*, the electorate, but lobbying, per se, is not and should not be illegal.

United Nations: 'Overpopulated Earth? Time to EAT BUGS'

Graham Marsden

@Aaron Miller - Re: @Aaron Em - @RonWheeler - Or...

Am I supposed to be impressed by more of your pontification? Let alone your arguments ad hominem?

You accuse me of confusion, but that confusion only exists because of the completely erroneous assumptions you make all through your diatribe, assigning motivations and beliefs to me that I do not hold and have never held.

You claim I fail to recognise the difference between correlation and causation, yet a look back through my posts in El Reg would reveal that this something which I have often commented upon, so how can I get it right all those times, yet suddenly get it wrong now? Or perhaps the error is not mine.

Equally, the assumption of "an ideal human breeding habit" is yours, not mine. I have not said, nor would I that this is "ideal", merely that it is better than the situation that exists where poor education standards are shown to correlate with higher birth rates.

And, yes, I most certainly do, with entire validity, accuse you of using Straw Man arguments. Perhaps you would care to now actually address the points I make, rather than the ones you wish to think I have made?

Or would you prefer to simply attempt to denigrate my intelligence whilst actually revealing your own failings in this area? If so, I'll leave the last word to you.

Graham Marsden

@Aaron Em - Re: @RonWheeler - Or...

I almost missed your remarks to me since they were below the "expand comment" and it was only that I happened to spot my surname (why only my surname "Em"?) that caused me to read the rest of your post after a lot of tedious and irrelevant pontification about the use of English.

In any case, in response to your remark "You imply causation where none is known to exist", a simple search on the "relationship between education and birth rate" would have shown you that causation is most certainly known to exist, for instance: "A women's educational level is the best predictor of how many children she will have, according to a new study from the National Center for Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The study, based on an analysis of 1994 birth certificates, found a direct relationship between years of education and birth rates, with the highest birth rates among women with the lowest educational attainment."


(There are plenty more references below that one, too.)

As for your claim that I am a eugenecist of *any* type, let alone that of RonWheeler, you show yourself to be equally lacking in knowledge on this subject.

Eugenics, from the Greek word eu (good or well) and the suffix -genēs (born), stems from a desire to "improve" the human race either by weeding out the "unfit" or encouraging the "best" to reproduce, neither of which I have supported, do support or ever will support.

Reducing the birth rate by improving education has *nothing* to do with Eugenics and if you think that increased education is only available to affluent societies or that it is some how "dis-privilegeing" societies you simply demonstrate even more ignorance of the subjects under discussion.

Ironically it was RonWheeler who accused *me* of using Straw Man arguments...

Graham Marsden

Re: @RonWheeler - Or...

"No I wasn't. Go build another straw man."

A Straw Man argument involves exaggerating or misrepresenting someone else's argument. Since your entire argument so far appears to be "start treating breeders like the ignorant selfish people that they are" without any more details, there isn't anything there *to* misrepresent other than a vague statement, hence why I expressed an opinion about what *appears* to be your position.

If you would actually care to clarify your statement instead of just accusing others of "ignoring facts", it might help me to counter it.

Graham Marsden

Do you know how sausages are made...?

Most people don't know and, if you told them, would wish you hadn't told them!

So why this assumption that, as happens with some countries in Asia etc, we'd actually be eating the insects with legs and wings and everything else intact?

Why not just grow them, farm them, then mince and pulp them before re-constituing them in a more palatable and pleasing-to-the-eye form, so it's no longer "a bug", but simply another form of protein?

Graham Marsden

Re: Nutritional

Perhaps you've not heard of Louis Pasteur? The guy who discovered that heating something to 70 degrees for 10 seconds (ie cooking it) killed harmful microbes...

Graham Marsden

@RonWheeler - Re: Or...

"The overpopulation problem doesn't exist".

Of course it does, but you appear to be offering the solution of eliminating the breeders by some form or other instead of *educating* people which history has shown to be an effective way to be the way to reduce reproduction rates.

'Ring of fire' eclipse to burn Australia

Graham Marsden

Don't want a Ring of Fire?

Lay off those hot curries, then!

Secret UN 'ZOD' climate deliberations: UK battles to suppress details

Graham Marsden

Re: And yet the warmologists will defend them

Just to let you know that I've downvoted you because you're being as arrogant as the people you're decrying.

For more details, please contact my solicitors, Messers Pott and Kettle-Black...

Self-assembling robot inches towards WORLD DOMINATION

Graham Marsden

Soon, fleshy ones...

... soon!

TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

Graham Marsden
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More gestures...

.... One palm on centre of chest, other above it, make rapid pressing motions: Find me a hospital drama.

Finger rotated in a cirdle next to temple: I want to watch a programme like Jackass or Mr T's Craziest Fools

Finger inserted into mouth, head bowed forward: I want to watch X-Factor, Britain's Got Talent or Big Brother

PS [Smug Mode]Thanks for the mention :-) [/Smug Mode]

Politically-correct 'Fairphone' goes on pre-sale next week

Graham Marsden

What does this have to do with "political correctness"?

PC is simply mindless avoidance of "offensive" terms or, at least, in the view of some idiot, words which could conceivably cause offence to someone of a particular racial/ religious/ whatever group, and usually done without even *asking* people from that group whether or not they'd be offended.

I see nothing in this that has anything to do with PC.

Russian geologist claims finding chunks of Tunguska Event invader

Graham Marsden

I've been looking for that...


Xrp!ltich the Rplatzian

Google Glass eye-cam to turn us all into right little winkers

Graham Marsden

@AC - Re: @Crisp - Seriously? People think this is all going to be OK?

Right, because *no* cameras should be allowed anywhere in public for fear that they might capture the image of a child...

Graham Marsden

@Stevie - Re: @Graham Marsden @LinkOfHyrule - Seriously? People think this is all going to be OK?

If you are doing something in a public space you have *no* right to expectation of privacy!

However I do agree that there should be stronger penalties applied to people using any "distracting technology" whilst in control of a vehicle. If you do something stupid which hurts you, that's your problem. If it hurts someone else, that's a legal problem.

Graham Marsden

@LinkOfHyrule - Re: Seriously? People think this is all going to be OK?

"Might as well just let David Cameron install a webcam in my toilet and be done with it"

No, the correct comparison would be *you* installing a webcam in your toilet. Nobody is forcing you to wear these glasses.

Scramjet X-51 finally goes to HYPER SPEED above Pacific

Graham Marsden

Remember Lasers?

When they were first invented they were referred to as "A solution in search of a problem".

How did that work out?!

Star Trek: The original computer game

Graham Marsden

Re: I remember...

I don't recall animated phasers, but when you fired a photon torpedo a little blob did run across the screen and hit the Klingon with an asterisk shaped explosion :-)

Graham Marsden
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I remember...

... playing this on an 8k Commodore Pet!

Anonymity ZUCKS: Facebook's Instagram to switch on face tagging

Graham Marsden


... here's a pic of John xxxxxx pi$$ing up against a wall. Oh and here's Jenny yyyyy throwing up into a rubbish bin after getting drunk.

And here's a picture of Terry zzzz and Andy aaaaaaa caught comparing the sizes of their cocks...

So when you said you wanted References for them, which company did you say you worked for?

No, I can't see anything that could go wrong with this.

Tiny fly-inspired RoboBee takes flight at Harvard

Graham Marsden
Black Helicopters

Prior art from Judge Dredd...

... Spy in the Sky microdrones

So long, Hotmail: Remaining users migrated to Outlook.com

Graham Marsden

@Trib Re: Hotmail - for El reg ID's

Or you can turn off the ads with NoScript and Adblock Plus.

And if it's something his system, it's something with mine as well (running Firefox) because when I first try going into it and try to click on anything it's "oops, no, not going to do anything yet, still loading lots of crap, wait five seconds and then try again and maybe the whole page will have loaded..."

UK.gov's love affair with ID cards: Curse or farce?

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@Caff Re: Will be forced on us

No, that's not a *need*, that's an excuse.

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@william 10 Re: ID cards - good, database - bad

Do I need to produce ID to travel in a taxi? No.

Do I have to pay for my train ticket with a card (or produce a card to get permission to buy one)? No.

Do I have to purchase a non-anonymous Oyster Card to travel in London? No.

I *can* do these, if I wish, but that's my *choice*, it's not an obligation.

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

@I think so I am? Re: Bad ideas never die...

You are not required to carry a passport or National Insurance card simply to prove that you have the right to walk down the street.

It has long been a principle of English Common Law that you have the right to "Go about your lawful business without let or hindrence" ("let" meaning needing permission).

ID cards could (and very probably would) be used to infringe this right.

Want to know what CIA spooks really think of spy movies and books?

Graham Marsden

"it simply doesn't portray the shadowy world of intelligence effectively"

And if it did, do you think they'd *say* so?

"Oh, yes, that's a perfectly accurate depiction of the way we do XYZ, so all our enemies will now know what we do and be able to develop ways to stop us..."!

Gaming app ENSLAVES punter PCs in Bitcoin mining ring

Graham Marsden

"unauthorized actions of this unauthorized individual"

The cynical part of me reads that as "fall guy"...

EFF report identifies which internet firms 'have your back' on data

Graham Marsden

"gold stars...

"...(a curiously child-like scoring system, in this hack's opinion)"

Points at the Michelin Guide: "They started it!!"

Oz volcano's lava lake spills from crater

Graham Marsden

What a perfect place...

... for my secret underground base from which I will rule the world!


One of the world's oldest experiments crawls towards a fall

Graham Marsden

Re: Worlds Oldest Experiment?

Damnit, I know i've seen a programme featuring the experiment you mention, but I *cannot* find a reference for it!

IIRC it's an experiment in the diffusion of liquids using two 10' long (or some such size) vertical tubes, I think the top one had copper sulphate in and the bottom one was water. The experiment is to see how long it will take before both tubes are an identlcal colour and it had been running since the 19th century.

My recollection was that it was in a chemistry lab at Oxford or Cambridge but my google-fu has let me down :-(

Anyone else remember this?

Budweiser's bonkable Buddy Cup brings Facebook to the pub

Graham Marsden


... yer my besht mate, buddy, knowatimean...

Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

Graham Marsden

@Ledswinger - Re: This is not rocket science...!

"Quite seriously, if they aren't charging, is it reasonable to expect much in the way of testing (or development, or anything, really)?"

I would ask "Are you serious?" but you appear to be...!

If someone is offering a product which is designed to protect your computer from software which may damage it, but which has been inadequately tested and so *causes* damage to your system, then they cannot simply disclaim liability for that failure by saying "well, it was free, so people shouldn't expect it to work properly"!

More importantly, the idea of the "free product" is to get people to sign up for the paid product, so making such a monumental cock-up as this is liable to damage confidence in your business and mean they go to another, more reliable, supplier.

Graham Marsden

This is not rocket science...!

How can any anti-virus company release an update without comprehensive testing on a range of machines with various generally expected software configurations to ensure that this sort of thing doesn't happen?

US House of Representatives passes CISPA by 288-127

Graham Marsden

Warning - Red Herring Alert!!! Re: What I don't understand...

Brilliant: Any discussion about the actual subject of this article is now liable to be dragged off-topic by pointless ranting about America's Gun Laws!

Please Do Not Feed The Troll!

UK's first copyright swap-shop for cat pics (etc) still yonks away

Graham Marsden


"I'd be negotiating the rights properly rather than just sending it in free."

The problem is that most people don't realise that, by sending stuff into the BBC, they're effectively giving it to them for free in perpetuity, let alone have any idea *how* to negotiate the rights properly.

Of course it's not in the BBC's interests to tell them about this...

Apple branded porno-peddling perverts by Chinese Pravda

Graham Marsden

I must immediately...

... check out these 198 sites to see *just* how disgusting they are...!

US Justice Department pushes for fairer spectrum auctions

Graham Marsden
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"the highest bidder will make the greatest use"

Unless (for reasons best known to itself) the regulator decides that the highest bidder has bid *too* high, won't be able to keep up their payments and declares the second highest bidder the winner!

This happened way back in 1990 when TVS (who held the ITV franchise for the south of England) massively outbid the competition but the ITC decided that they wouldn't be able to pay that amount and gave it to Meridian!


Are biofuels Europe's sh*ttiest idea ever?

Graham Marsden

"more efficient cars which use turbo boost"

You mean like the Knight Industries Two Thousand?

Hands up who wants 3D finger-controlled fridges? That's the spirit

Graham Marsden
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Prior art from the Hitch-Hiker's Guide...

"A loud clatter of gunk music flooded through the Heart of Gold cabin as Zaphod searched the sub-etha radio wave bands for news of himself. The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive--you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure, of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same program."

Graham Marsden

Re: Don't worry, the porn industry will kill it...

And how will they tell the difference between what someone may be doing when watching porn and a gesture used when, say, Peter Mandelson appears on screen?

Firefox 'death sentence' threat to TeliaSonera over gov spy claims

Graham Marsden
Big Brother

"it will be seen as a tough stance against corporations...

"...that trade with authoritarian states."

And what about governments who trade with authoritarian states? Can you name any, boys and girls...?

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